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Parr: anne and i don't have pet names for each other.

Howard: uh huh.

Howard: hey cathy, what's another word for dad?

Parr: daddy?

Boleyn: *from the other room* yea, baby?

Howard: *to cathy* don't ever lie to my face again.

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[in a groupchat]

Cleves: lol i'm dying help.

Howard: oof same.

Parr: me af.

Aragon: good.

Cleves: no like i'm legit dying.

Cleves: some guy stabbed me in a mcdonald's parking lot.

Cleves: the lol is a habit.

Cleves: *sends a blurry pick of herself dabbing in an ambulance*

5 people are typing...

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Aragon: GUYS, CAN YOU STOP TRYING TO MATCH ME UP WITH A GUY?!

Seymour: but i thought you said you wanted to hang out with someone today...

Aragon: not a guy!

Boleyn: then wh-

Aragon: for crying out loud! I AM GAY!

All of the queens: ...

Parr: *mumbling* thank goodness, i thought i was the only one.

Aragon: what?

Parr: what.

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Seymour: imagine if someone handed you a box full of the items you had lost throughout your life.

Aragon: it would be nice to have my sense of purpose back...

Howard: oh wow, my childhood innocence! thank you for finding this.

Parr: my will to live! i haven't seen this in 15 years.

Cleves: i knew i lost that potential somewhere!

Boleyn: mental stability, my old friend!

Seymour: jesus, could you guys lighten up a little?

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Aragon: why do you put up with anna?

Howard: oh, um, you know, because we're friends.

Aragon: why?

Howard: wow, you're asking really hard questions. look, i know she can be aggravating, but what you have to remember is she's not doing it on purpose, it's just how she is. but she's also loyal and trustworthy and we have fun together.

Aragon: you know you're describing a dog?

Howard: she did bite me once, but in her defence, i came up behind her while she was eating.

Aragon: yea, they hate that.

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Seymour: how can you say that catherine is evil? she is the most precious soft little soul!

Aragon: *wiping blood off her face* YEA, I'M FUCKING ADORABLE!

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Parr: ha, gay! i wouldn't fuck you.

Boleyn: ... you wouldn't?

Parr:

Parr: i mean, unless you want to...

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Cleves: i'm not laying on the floor physically, but i am laying on the floor spiritually.

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Boleyn: so what's cathy's type?

Seymour: brown hair, kind, oblivious, good sense of humour, turtle lover.

Boleyn: sounds kind of like me. too bad we're just friends.

Seymour: did i mention oblivious?

Boleyn: yea, why?

Seymour: okay, just making sure.

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Cleves: *pulls out a knife*

Howard: oh no.

Cleves: *opens a box with it*

Howard: oh okay.

Cleves: *pulls a gun out of the box*

Howard: oh no!

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