//

Dad had taken Luke to the arcade when we got home from the cafe. He hoped it would cheer Luke up and I assume it did, as Luke's face lit up when he was told he could play all the games in the arcade. I could see the fury in my dad's eyes when we got home and told him mother didn't show up, but instead of raging he pulled Luke in for a big hug. That was how man he was - caring and the best dad Luke and I could ever wish for. 

I had politely declined the invitation to the arcade as I couldn't stop thinking of Tom and mostly wanted to just be with him. It was hard for me not to give a proper reason to stay home.

"I don't really feel like going. Have a great time you two." I smiled at my family I was so grateful for. 

"Are you sure kiddo? C'mon it'll be fun." He pushed making sure I wouldn't regret it.

"Dad, I've told you to stop calling me a kid. I'm 18, remember?" I said and rolled my eyes.

"Okay okay." He said putting his arms up in defense. 

"I'm sure. I'll go work on an assignment for Monday." I lied, kissed him on the cheek, ruffled Luke's hair and went to my room.

"Hey!" Luke exclaimed and I chuckled as I closed the door to my room.

I couldn't exactly tell them about my boyfriend either.. 

Luke and dad had been gone for about 20 minutes now. I had to make sure they wouldn't come back if I invited Tom over. I don't know how he got in earlier that day. My dad must've let him in, or Luke. It was unusual for them that Tom would come see me, but none of them had questioned anything so I supposed they didn't suspect anything.

I logged out of insta and went to contacts. Seeing his name when I scrolled down my list of contacts, formed a smile on my lips. I pressed the contact and pressed call. I was on my bed, laying like a teenage girl calling her crush for the first time - laying on my stomach, my legs swaying in the air, my head resting on my palms as I looked down at my phone with his name on it.

*Phone call*

"It's Tom." 

"Hi! Do you want to-"

"Suckerrr." 

*bib bib*

Wow, what a mature boyfriend I have gotten myself.

That was the first time ever I had heard his voicemail. He had never not answered when I called him, he always picked up the second I called. I was worried something was wrong. He had told me he would call later, and now was later and he didn't pick up when I called. I called again and it went directly to voicemail this time. 

Is he ignoring me?

I came up with an excuse to call Harry and ask where Tom was. 'Tom has asked me to bring him the assignment we got in class a few days ago, but he isn't picking up the phone so I was wondering if you knew where he is?' was what I had practiced. Worst excuse ever, Tom clearly doesn't care about school and Harry didn't even know I had Tom's number. But whatever, I did it anyway.

I called Harry and it went to voicemail. That was quite normal though, he usually would call back after a few minutes. The few minutes passed while I had called Tom once more with no luck. Nikki was in Thailand with Dominic and Tessa so it would be no use calling her. 

My overthinking got the better of me.

What if their house is burning!? Omg that makes so much sense! I have to get there!

My stupid ass quickly got off my bed and just in sweats and a tank top, I ran out the house. As I was heading to the garage I remembered.

Dad has the car.

I sighed and took the bike I hadn't used for a long time. Rapidly and stupidly I peddled my bike and prayed to god they were alright. 

As I turned around the corner onto the Holland's neighborhood I let out a relived sigh as I saw the house wasn't burning. I knocked myself over the head of my stupidity. 

I threw my bike on the grass and sat down on the Holland's front step as I tried catching my breath before knocking on the door. I looked at my phone and still no messages from Tom nor from Harry.

I stood up and knocked on the door. I heard footstep from behind the door and let out yet another relieved sigh and then laughed at myself for even thinking such a thing.

Harry opened the door and I smiled at him.

"Hey! You didn't pick up the phone?" I said panting and pulled the hair in front of my eyes behind my ears. Harry looked at me with an unreadable expression on his face.

"What the fuck Y/N. Is our friendship a joke to you?" He said emotionlessly. 

I had never seen him like this before. I had always found it easy to read him, but I had no idea what he was feeling in that moment. My smile faded.

"What do you mean?" I questioned and smiled, looking for a sign of emotion in him.

"Don't play dumb, you know what I'm talking about." I could tell by his tone he was angry. I looked at him with confusing written all over my face. 

"You're not even gonna tell me yourself?" He scoffed and I noticed his fists clenching. He turned around, went to the kitchen and grabbed something. I stepped inside, placing myself awkwardly in front of the kitchen counter. I had never before felt that unwelcome in the Holland's house. 

Walking towards me, Harry aggressively shoved a phone up to my face. I quickly recognized the phone. 

So that's why he hasn't been answering.

"Hey!" I said, starting to get annoyed by his attitude.

"Just look at the goddam phone!" He suddenly yelled making me flinch a little. What happened to him? I looked at the screen and to my surprise my eyes met a lock screen of Tom and I kissing. Fuck. My heart dropped and I took a few steps back, realizing what was happening. He knows..

"It's Tom's phone." He said angrily.

"Harry I-" I trembled.

"Get out of my house!" He said, throwing the phone on the counter and pointing to the door. 

"Harry please I can explain." I said tears forming in my eyes, making my vision unclear.

"Explain what exactly? How you've been dating my brother behind my back? How you've fucked up our rules!? How you have fucking lied to me for I don't know how long!?" He said and I couldn't hold in my tears anymore. It was embarrassing how I stood there crying, looking like someone who sought sympathy, but as hard as I tried I couldn't keep my tears in.

"I was going to tell you-" I sniffled.

"Of course you were, that's what everybody says when they get caught in a fucking lie! Now please leave!" He yelled. 

"I know I fucked up! But you can't just tell me to go, you can at least give me a change to speak up for myself!" I said firmly, wiping my tears away. Harry's eyes started to get glossy, but he just reacted with gesturing me to leave.  

"Harry please let me.. I'm your best friend." I begged and stepped closer to grab his wrist. Little did I know that the next thing coming out of his mouth would break my heart into pieces..

"Was. You're not my friend anymore." He said coldly, not unlocking eyes with me for one second. I felt his anger bore into my eyes as they started watering and I stepped back. I felt a void filling my heart. Feeling totally powerless of changing his mind and completely broken, I turned around and ran out the door. I picked up my bike and peddled as hard as I could till I was home.

I threw my bike and ran to my room. Throwing myself on my bed I broke down. All emotions overwhelmed me. How could I let this happened? How fucking dumb can a person be? I should've just told him.. I got up from my bed at looked at myself in the mirror

You're fucking pathetic.

"You. Are. Fucking. Pathetic!" I screamed at my reflection and hit it, making the mirror go to pieces. I felt my legs give up on me and fell down on my knees. My knuckles bled a little, but all I felt was my heart aching. I had never tried living without Harry. I needed him in my life. What was I going to do now? 

Suddenly I felt an anger build inside me. Tom. Why in the world would he had put me on his lock screen!? I'm not gonna lie, at first I was awed by the thought of him setting us as his lock screen. I needed to talk to Tom right now. I reckoned that Tom was the only way to get Harry to forgive me.

I dialed Harrison multiple times with no luck. Why are my friends all so bad at answering their fucking phone? 

I then typed in a number of one I would never even dream of dialing..

*Phone call*

"Hi babe." 

"Hi Tailor, where's Tom?" I said, trying to cover up my sniffles.

As much as I hate it, she's still his friend and my only other option of knowing where he is.

"What makes you think I'm with him?" She laughed.

"Just tell me!" I hurried.

"Are you crying- ohhh, so you know. Sucks huh?" She laughed

"Know what?" I questioned and I the devil herself laughed. How I hated that laugh.

"You know what it doesn't matter just tell me where he is!" I demanded.

"Jeez." She said and I felt her eyes rolling on the other side of the call.

"Who is it?" I heard a faint voice ask and I immediately knew who it was. 

"Let me talk to him." 

"Um what about no? Hey! give it back." She said as an other voice took over.

"Y/N?" He questioned making sure it was me.

"Yes Tom. It's me. Why the hell is your background a picture of us kissing!?" I said and the tears started streaming again while I hadn't even noticed they had stopped. 

"It's cute right?" He said not understanding.

"Harry really thought so yes!" I yelled.

"Are you crying? Are you okay?" He questioned worried.

"Of course I'm not fucking okay, I've just been told by Harry that I'm not his friend anymore!" I now cried like a baby.

"Give it back! Bye." I heard Tailor in the background as she snatched the phone from Tom and hung up.

*End of phone call*

My blood was boiling. I had a very strong idea of where they were. Stacy's diner. Tom always met up there with his 'cool friends'. Some things never change I guess.

I picked up my bike and started biking to Stacy's diner. It would be a long bike ride but I didn't care.. I just needed to go see Tom. It started raining and I screamed as I peddled even harder than before. My legs seethed and I slowed a bit down. Tears started streaming down my cheeks once again. I felt like giving up. The raindrops was falling to the ground, just like my life. 

Stop crying, you're such a pathetic cry baby. It's you're own fault.

A light ahead of me made the road shine. As it had drove past me, it reversed and pulled up to me. I stopped, now recognizing the black car. 

Tom quickly stepped out of the car and ran up to me and I jumped in his arms.

"You're such an idiot." I cried hugging him tightly, needing all the comfort I could get right now.

Cause I'm just a weak little girl.

Tom drove me home and accompanied me in my lonesome room. We changed to some dry clothes, Tom borrowing some of my dads and cozied up in my bed. 

We put on a movie but my eyes were swallowed red and I couldn't keep them open. I rested my head on Tom's shoulder, closing my eyes to fall asleep.

*beep beep* 

Haz: Hey, are you okay? Why'd you call so many times?

Me: I'm fine, it's nothing

Haz: Are you sure? you can talk to me about anything you know.

"Who are you texting?" Tom questioned.

"Haz is just checking up on me." I replied.

"You shouldn't- I mean you should put it away, you need sleep." Tom pushed and turned off my phone. I turned it on again.

"You're right, let me just answer this." I said and Tom sighed, keeping an eye on my phone.

Haz: Right?

Me: I know. Thank you Haz.

Haz: Okay, goodnight.

I turned off my phone and snuggled into the crook of Tom's neck. 

Is it wrong of me to cuddle with Tom right now when he just was the reason Harry and I 'broke up'? Guilt hit me and I sobbed a little bit. Tom noticed and held me tighter.

"It's okay, I got you." He smiled and caressed my cheek. I tried to return the smile but I couldn't. He placed soft kissed on my temple, making me calm just a little.

*beep beep*

Harrison again?

I turned on my phone and looked a notification.

Video message from Tailor?

I looked up at Tom who was completely preoccupied by the movie. I looked back at my phone and pressed play.

I hate you Thomas Holland.