The third chapter of Rest in peace which refers to the dead body of main lead, Kim Namjoon.

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⚠︎ Creepy! Mention of suside
Continues After Epiphany
Book's point of view.
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In this world of myths, afterlife is quoted in every realm; a mysterious piece of fantasy is my reality. I'm not sure but it feels like it is an afterlife because I must be dead.

Why is my death so unnoticed?

I wondered as I stood outside my apartment; a two story building.

My body should be in there.

All I remember is dying there. But I'm still not convinced that I'm dead, when I can walk, talk and see. Just can not touch or taste anything like humans.

About smelling, I can't say much. My nosy never been so sensitive though. Maybe I lost the sense of smell?

There's no confirmation.

I feel like somehow I became invisible and translucent. Isn't it similar to a ghost?

Moving on, one thing which is beneficial is that I can pass through these closed doors and get easy access to anywhere.

The classic vibe of these wood on the floor and white mixed up with the lightest shade of brown covers the walls, lastly the light green ceiling welcomes me.

I stepped in debating on whether I should call it home or grave?

All my belongings were right where they were last night, safe and sound. Except their owner's soul.

One thing rings in my mind that did I do a sin by committing suicide? Will the lord punish me and send me to hell?

If yes, then why not yet?

I'm still here on earth, why? Maybe these questions can be answered if we look back in time.

So lonely in my head, night just bought a bucket full of overthinking to drown me in it. Do I regret jumping straight in it without a second thought?

That's something to move on from.

Even if I question it, there's no possible way to change the past. If you ask me to explain it will hurt me all over...

I might have become a soul. But I'm still feeling this strange yet bone chilling fear just to imagine what occurred last night.

This also a reason why I couldn't stay in between these wall after discovering I was dead. It was more suffocating here.

I feel like something in me was warning me, no to go back inside my room. But ignoring the voice, I took a few necessary steps towards my doom.

My head down low as I walk in, passing through the closed door.

Eyes roaming right to left; my gaze diverted from my study table to stacked rack, full of different types of book.

I took another step, head rising up my height level as my eyes met the two legs.

I greeted my teeth not let out a cry, don't know if there are tears but something in me is weeping. I shouldn't have come.

There were a few droplets of blood on the bed which made my two quivering orbs rise up to the hand of my lifeless body.

The drops were of my failed attempt as I couldn't die by cutting my hands. I could not cut my nerves. It was paining. But this second option had no turning back.

The more I struggled to free myself from the tight grip of the robe the more it got
sheathlike like a tie around my neck.

The only thing was that it suffocated me to my end and I couldn't loosen it.

My eyes look away from those hands to right where a mini table was thrown aside.

The feeling called fear, I always had in me but where did it went last night? How did I become so courageous to go through this amount of pain which still hurts.

I couldn't lift up my eyes to see my face. I knew it was going to creep me out.

Not being able to bear all that I turn back to leave. I felt something from my behind was creepily coming towards me.

The feeling was so eerie that left me in a statue position. I couldn't move, just heard some unknown rumble of my bed moving.

I gulp very hard not believing my senses.

There's nothing inside with me then why I hear this deep yet so low resonant frequency?

I attempted to look back for inquiry.

But before my eyes met my body a loud thud rings in my ears as the body dropped on the bed. Why I had this feeling that it was done by something which can be particularly invisible from my point of view.

But I never knew, nothing had a confirmation.

Everything that has been happening, I just assumed them molding them in theories I heard my whole life.

Maybe my senses are correct but who will trust a dead man's sense? Not me.

I would like to believe I'm dead and I heard nothing. Atleast at this point which will help me control this argue to piss my pant.

For the last time, Universe. I. am. dead!

Why I'm getting so caught up with these human feelings. Send me to hell or take me to heaven, do something god!

I was up most frustrated at the point, only one thing which was favouring my situation was that my body's face was not facing me. I didn't unintentionally look at it.

My eyes were all over the back of the lifeless body. What I was looking for?

Nothing.

I didn't knew what to do? Should I run back?

Then why did I come here?

Shouldn't people find out my state by now?

I see there's no one who will disturb me because I abandoned myself for a week.

Asking leave from everyone, even my family. Asking them not to contact me and there was a promise that I will call them back after a few days.

Asking space, just to stand here. Two step away and separated from my body.

Who will inform them I'm not going to call them back. Will my father look for me? He will probably not. But what about mom?

He will make her quite about the matter.

She will try to contact me but I will never reply her call. I can not even if I wish to. I know she will. And there was an upcoming call on my phone.

After all, she didn't listen to whatever I threw towards her last night. My mother is calling me again.

My heart throbbed as I realised, I betrayed her. She will never get a reply from her son. This wave of guilt drown into deep sorrow. I regret, I regret what I did last night!

which was the thing I never wanted to happen. I never thought I would regret this!

It was supposed to be the end!

It was supposed to be the end of everything, even sorrow!?

Why am I still here!?

What is continuously hitting waves of heartbreak in the depth of the sea.

I had already drowned in it!

Leave me alone!

I feel like going back inside my body and that sudden want made me come over my fear as I sat on my bed wanting to touch my body. See from my eyes, to get inside and feel my mother's loving voice, sliding in my ears as another ring of my phone from the bedside stand halts me in place.

"Namjoon-ahh, I'm coming over this evening. I made you your favourite dishes to cheer you up. Hmm... spare some time from your busy schedule. I'll just take two minutes to give a hug and then you can go back to work." My mother said in the voice message and felt her halfhearted smile.

After hearing that my whole world crumbled, I didn't care what was happening. I cryed, with or without tears.

I was broken more than ever, thinking she will come and see me like this...

I can never forgive myself for this!

Somehow, I need to go back in. Anyhow! I need to do something, she can't see me like this! I can't let her go through this pain!

Hurting our own self is easier than hurting someone who loves us. That was my motivation for suside.

Now I realize how wrong I thought.

My body was inches away. Will I get back inside my body if I just touch-

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.𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 1400+
.𝐏𝐮𝐛𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞 19 Sep, 2022
.𝐍𝐞𝐰 𝐮𝐩𝐝𝐚𝐭𝐞 𝐨𝐧 26 Sep, 2022
A big thanks to Lefterova8
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▱▰◡To Be Continue◡▰▱