' • ° Seeking A Heart ° • '

𝖳𝖧𝖤 𝖢𝖧𝖠𝖯𝖳𝖤𝖱

His nights used to be occupied even more than days, now he has grown idle and his nights are awaiting to die in harness. So that he could chase what is necessary.

But still the insomnia advices-

Get to do some work: get it for what? 

There's a document pending to be approved, check it: Perusal for what?

Nothing can help, then why bother? Efforts will be rather otiose. Namjoon had already given up, lettin' the night deal with his new grown remiss behavior. 

Nights pass in time-pass.

Now his nights are aimless and days are focused on seeking a heart. Gazing at the computer screen Namjoon felt a headache that made him crave for a sip of coffee.

The movie never fails to entertain him.

His fingers wrapped around the mug as his eyes wandered outside of his window, silence speaking in the midnight hue, making its darkness more ethereal. 

All of sudden Namjoon's phone disturbed him, annoyed yet he received the call.

But to his interest that call makes his eyes glossy, brimming optimistically as it revealed that someone is willingly providing him his own heart!

A miracle, he named it.

Namjoon was beyond shocked and his heart was blooming with overwhelming happiness. An immense peace from the unknown, will replace his shattered heart.

On the other side-

There sat the separate piece of a yin and yang, shredding tears for her other part.

The life bestowed upon Namjoon might be taken away from her dear husband, Vivian.

The doctors already confirmed that they wouldn't be able to save him, these were his last breaths. 

But it is an unconfirmed conclusion, they might succeed in the process, but they declared that there was no hope.

The happiness cracked a joke on how he is all over her life making it a heaven, pure bliss and misery took it heart, turning her future upside down in a flip.

It was just in the morning when she bid him a bye with a kiss, it was just in a few hours when she got his message that he will be back home in a while. 

Then why didn't he get there in time and why did a horrendous call inform her that her husband is struggling between life and death after the tragedy? Why!?

This seems to be a nightmare, she needs to wake up, wake up from this ephialtes.

Another report came and she lost it all.

Her eyes turned hollow, tears gone. But as time goes on, each nick of the second is nearing another emotional breakdown.

Namjoon rushed to the hospital to greet his new life and Yanah got ready for the burial of her stolen life support. 

She wouldn't dare to go in front of him. 

Yet with heavy steps she opened the door, she couldn't hold herself back from crying again when she saw her husband was-

He was lying there lifeless.

Yanah slid out of the door, unable to register anything, mind flooded with questions which only God could answer.

Hastily stepping out to the lobby, her eyes melted as she mourned her loss. 

The happiness sneaked out of her reach when misery came, it broke her horribly.

Now she will be spending each second without her life, love and everything.

How all of a sudden life can change so drastically! It is flippy-floppy in this case, flipped away from one and flopped on another. Namjoon makes his way inside.

Sparks in his eyes, acknowledging this opportunity, thanking his stars. 

Call it fate or not, it's up to you. But the trinity who parted ways came back together to complete their puzzle.

It was not coincidental yet she never expected to see the sight of the particular person she lost years ago.

Namjoon.

Her heart skipped a beat, her hiccups halted and an unspoken word named the specific person.

Namjoon went straight to the counter. In the rush, his head didn't turn to Yanah's side, thus he couldn't help but ignore how she dazed. Then not believing her own senses, she blinked and smeared her eyes. But finding Joon present there even after a few attempts, she hastily moved.

"Mam, where are you going?" 

An aged staff member interrupted her, earning her attention. She looked at him and then made an quick excuse.

"Oh, but before you go. Please sign here."

The staff gave her a paper and pen. The one sign needed her to go throughout the hundred scribbled words in the paper.

And finally when she was done, her frame was already late to capture his last clip.

Yanah's eyes roamed in every possible direction but Namjoon was long gone, away from her sight, sitting in between these four walls of his doctor's cabin.

Namjoon was again dumbfounded to understand that the donor knew him and even remember him in his last time.

But how he was just an orphan, with countable personal relations. Who could it be? His mind instantly recalled the only two people he can think of while talking about such deep personal relationships.

"Who was the person doctor?" 

These words slip out in an upset tone with the hint of sorrow. He was disheartened by the demise of this unknown person, even if this was beneficial, he mourned the loss.

But the gain also left its effect on him.

The doctor meekly smiled and gave Namjoon a chit, "his family member also asked about you. They are going through a rough time right now but I'll suggest that you should visit them after your surgery."

Considering His doctor's advice Namjoon tamed his curiosity and patiently waited until he recovered after the surgery. 

It was the day he decided to go to the place where he was destined to. With all honesty he was curious to know who his donor was. The doctor barely mentioned his last name. Namjoon wanted to thank his family for giving him a new life. 

After taking deep breaths, he rang the doorbell. But when the door opened it took his breath away. And his pupil expanded.

There she was, standing with a gloomy expression, once there were sparkles in her Hazel iris but now the void claims it and skin pale. She almost looks lifeless.

Namjoon's breath halted and body stiffened, he just whispered, "Yanah."

Hearing some familiar voice she looked up only to be amazed to see her best friend, Joon, standing there with all his glory. 

The set hair and black-and-white suit used to be straight short size strands covering his forehead as he used to wear a simple one coloured t-shirt with small-black beanie back in his college times.

A flashback hit Namjoon when Yanah engulfed him in her embrace and started to snivel against his chest. She needed someone to lean on at that time, and who could be better than your best friend when you are broken the most? He was far away from recognising the loss because he was thrown into this nostalgia.

Meaningful silence came from Namjoon's side while she cried her heart out like a little child, she mourned over her bad fate, how they were happy and how Vivian left her for eternity.

Again he just listened, he always was a good listener. Keeping his hands to himself not physically participating in consoling her but his presence worked enough to do the sure thing, call it sympathy or some kind of magic. She felt better than what she felt in the past days.

Not to forget, Yanah still had so much grudge against him as to why he left all of a sudden when everything was so great!

And the answer was pretty obvious to be honest that the great thing happening in her life was exactly the reason Namjoon left in the first place.

But again, it was the time when nothing mattered rather than each other's warmth which in a way both were longing for. 

Namjoon recalled the past.

"Hey, Mr. Lover boy, is there something new you want to gift her? Remember her birthday is coming!" He could only recall his misfortune, Vivian.

"Haha, my cupid is on his duty." Namjoon laughed at that time. 

And keep on sending his love through his cupid for the lady enfolded in his arms as he stroked her hair, finally accepting what happened. His friend, Vivian took his love, his heart away but lastly returned what he snatched, with interest.

It all came in together, their friendship was meant to break, the trio had to face it. This kind of love is only given to one at a time. 

And according to Namjoon, Vivian gained Yanah by backstabbing him. No, it was not his fault that Yanah prefered him over Namjoon. But tagging all of Namjoon's attempts, those letters and gifts as his was a wicked scheme of the fake cupid.

Namjoon stiffened, his grip around Yanah tightened as he controlled himself, not to snap at the moment. Vivian is gone.

And Namjoon already left the past when he stepped out of their wedding life. If Yanah wanted Vivian then why bother?

She would have chosen him even after unfolding the truth, she was not that kind of girl who will fall for gifts or expenses.

It was Vivian's affection that she fell for, Namjoon knew he lacked in that part, he couldn't show his delicacy at the time, a short tempered man-picking fights along with picking book and pen.

Namjoon slightly moved, backing away from the hug, Yanah did the same but in displeasure. Happiness peek inside her frame and she wanted to snatch it for life.

Nothing can go back to where it was. The time has passed when a pampered girl with two orphan boys were the best trio of the campus. But love made it two players game for Yanah, she could only have one at a time. Once Namjoon was gone and now that he is back, it's Vivian to hide.

Namjoon's head flooded with numerous questions: how did Vivian knew about his disease? Did he know everything from the beginning? Why would he help him?

The answer was in chit the doctor gave him, an accurate address of a diary which belonged to Vivian.

"Guilt is all I'm left with. When I saw Joon consulting the heart specialist, I had no guts to face him after I betrayed him.

Why did it happen to him, wasn't my given wound enough? 

What is more heart wrecking is that he never recovered from it. His success gave me satisfaction that he is living a plush life and moving on from the past but what I saw in him snatched sympathy and made me regret.

Yanah loved me, yes she did but when we started it was all about those letters and poetic words of Namjoon.

To make her believe my lies I focused on books and studied just so she would not see through my fake and stolen quotes. 

And I acted like the saviour who fought the bully of her class but I couldn't keep up with that act for more than a year by the time it all started. 

But Yanah still loved me, so we got married.

They say the basic thing in a relationship is trust whereas I started my relationship with her with lies, unforgettable lies. 

I'm hopeless, a sterile man, who couldn't even complete his family. See, karma also said payback time.

I feel like contaminating my own marriage life. I failed to make her hate me, I can't let her stay with me! Yanah, teach me how to not love you, how to hate you! I want to go away far away from you!

I need to return the lost heart Joon is seeking for. I was the start of his misery then should be the end of it too." -Vivian

•°•'THE END´•°•

Published on 26 Sep, 2022.