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Chapter XII - Counting All My Mistakes

Sherlock's POV

This park bench is cold and wet, and I'm only here because I can't stand my flat, and what happened there. What I did. For the first time in my life, I did something completely, utterly stupid

I run my fingers through my hair feverishly, counting all my mistakes.

1) I didn't even accomplish what I set out to do. My intent had been to seduce Clara into giving me information, but obviously, it didn't go as planned. In fact, I had completely forgotten to even get the information, I just tried to seduced her.

2) When it comes to seducing, I fail miserably. I have never had any practise in that area because I've never even wanted to do such a thing. I am unsure as of why the idea of seducing Clara even crossed my mind.

3) I had been drugged. Those two patches had, truthfully, been a bit too much. But I have had three before and did wonderfully. So why would two be worse than three? The answer: Clara.

4) I may have a chemical defect. And when I say chemical defect... I mean sentiment. I might be... How would one put it? Falling for Clara. Because if I had used two patches any other time, I would've been just fine. This means that I had a subconscious feeling I wanted to seduce Clara. Therefore my mind changed the reason of the seduction, making it more of something I would actually do in the right mind.

So this all leads down to one fact: I am definitely falling for Clara.

I put my palms to my forehead and sigh dramatically. Because I'm Sherlock Holmes, and if I love anyone I would never hear the end of it! Because love is a weakness, something found on the losing side. I said so myself. And I am not yet sure I would be on the losing side for Clara... But I am sure that, once it all comes down to it, my answer will be a definite 'yes.'

~~~~~

This song reminded me of this chapter.

https://youtu.be/fCxygfLdkDM

"Now that I am sober, I take back what I said...
When I wanted to be closer, you just wanted to run."

~Sofia xo

WC: 343

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