Mind fused after a crush and rush of adrenaline in the same veins are unusual - I tried to make it clear to myself however I just flew to a castle in Spain, a fantastic fantasy land and internally laugh if I hear lectures about moving on, hoping Kesha will never get the taste of elixir in this pain.

She has been dating this perfect guy- straight out of a romance comic. Look wise, behavior wise or impression wise such a man is hard to find. If I tell you I tried to be the man my girl wanted, then I'll be purely lying. But even she can't deny I had what she needed and deserved.

In spite of that I'm bearing this wreckage of my heart, shattered as it still bleeds even after the 2nd anniversary of our breakup.

××× - Meet at our usual spot.

I have no clues on why she texted me on this wretched day again, after a whole damn year. The same text. The same girl. The saved number with the same heart.

Unlike this time, I wore my best look to visit her on our seventh anniversary. Now 20th October deserves a stained hoodie, I'm leaving my home in my baggy attire.

Yeah, a seven year relationship was canceled and a new supposedly perfect relationship replaced it; within two hours I will celebrate the 2nd breakup anniversary digging into my past, she texted again…

xxx - Don't be late.

As if I was the defunct in our relationship when her makeup was to blame. That day, I rushed to the roadways where the uber was already waiting. Gosh, I should have reserved one today too!! Every 12th oct is special for my pensive side of melancholy.

Taking the nearby cab, breathing dusts of serenity while the breeze blew my long hair back. This ride is a trip to the past.

The very smile on my past's face was plastered instead of just crafting - it wasn't fading in fact Kesha had to snatch it off my face to make me stop grinning like a Cheshire cat. Dumb look, I won't beam again. Resting face suits me better, plus beneficially keeps the unwanted away.

Back in time, the two years were better than these two hours, I feel stuffed with my detest past which again flashes in front of me, "Sir, your stop is here." Why does the driver have to say the exact same words my uber's driver said? History repeats itself, one way or another it happens.

Even if I stop myself and just go back, I will forever worry about what Kesha wants to say. She messaged me even today.

Must be some old stuff she wouldn't mind taking me back to the same old place, not even I mind going back to my past.

"How much?" I asked, "twenty sir." And he was paid. I was left on my legs to enter the entrance of disrespect. My subconscious self was well aware where to step, not me I was lost in my own mess. I saw those red ribbons on the gate and when it opened there were red flowers on the mat as if I'm reliving my past. And my eyes were wet.

"Welcome to our Family cafe."

The voice said with a low pitch and feminine softness which at least brought me back to the present.

"Oh, umm … thank you." I murmured, when I saw the staff bowing to me. My head slightly tilted down and diverted towards the hall where some most seats were empty. But the very one I wanted was occupied by a teenage couple.

They were looking like the teen version of me and Kesha, arguing without a care of place and time. I let out a sigh and took my eyes off them just to sit right next to them.

As I land my butt on the couch, a slim-mid tone waitress walks up to me, "What would you like to have, sir?" The same voice. My eyes unintentionally turned back at the counter where I heard the same voice. However the staff wasn't there, she was suspiciously eyeing me from the front.

"Will they leave anytime soon?" I gestured towards the teen couple without looking at them, "who?" The lady in front questioned, cluelessly. "These two…" that's when I found out there's no one on my breakup table. My mouth went dry when I found no one in the whole neat and organized hall.

"Where are the others?" A question was raised which wasn't answered by the lady - she just shrugged. "Nobody comes here."

And there again, I was hallucinating.

I kept it all to myself and gave an understanding look with half knowledge of my own mental condition. A headache is all I can get. "Can I have a cappuccino?"

And she dismissed herself to get me my order; she had the machine right next to the counter. This was the chance to switch my seat and step back into the past.

Without a noise, I successfully switched my seat and laid my back on the couch, soft and relaxing - I went sinking into it.

My body felt so lightweight, some grams left automatically. Which led my eyes to close and I heard the long lost voice.

"Jungkook", a call to interrupt but I wasn't giving into it yet…

"It's not about you, it's me. I want a better life, Jungkook. A better man, you know I was never in love. It was just because of your crush on me, I had to give in. I had to give in because you was the only person who was there - " her voice got louder until I covered my ears. I had to defend, for sure I came here to experience the past.

But one step at a time.

"Here's your coffee, sir." I lazily watch the cup of coffee slide towards me on the table in front, "anything else, sir?" She added afterwards and I just shook my head.

Telling myself to stop, I picked the cup and gulped down without any effects of it and the steam was still leaving from the rest of the content in the cup. It was better than whatever I had two years ago.

"So, this is what I'm getting on our anniversary. A best present, right Kesha? Thank you!" I don't know why anger took over me, she was just being honest to me.

That day I left her and the cafe, today will be no different. "How much?" The lady told me of a cheap price, it looks like this cafe lost its luxury. Just like I lost me.

After handing her the money, I walked past the gate - soft gusts refreshed my senses.

There I saw my past running away from the cafe with his broken heart. Should I chase him like I did last year? I wonder why I'm still standing, why I'm not moving on my own? I never wanted to run. I think I had to run, anyhow I'll end up running then why not today? Then it hit me; a sniff of some freshly cooked desserts. My mouth watering, and my subconsciousness returns taking me back into the cafe.

Living in the past is optional but living in the present is mandatory.

"Hey Miss! Can you show me the menu?" I walked back and was never this cheerful in the past two years. She also smiles back this time and her eyes lose suspicion.

"Here's the menu sir." Her hand offered me a laminated paper and there was no ring on her fingers which made me blink off the subconscious grin. "Thank you." I diverted my mind and more people entered inside.

Two twins entered with a pouty face, "we are cho hungry! Momma!" They shouted.

My eyes widened for a while still I couldn't prevent myself from giving them a smile as I adored the two- their eyes were so doe and big just like me and one of them had puffed cheeks like my mother. That's when I re-reminded myself that mind fused after a crush and rush of adrenaline in the same veins are unusual - but who cares when Family cafe is finally completed.

▬▬ Cover by hamochji 𓂃 ֶָ֢  ❞