🌸ڿڰۣ-P̠O̠V̠ P̠a̠t̠r̠i̠c̠e̠

"Baby yuh alright?!"

The concern in Maleek's voice and the way he hurriedly pulled me from the shattered vase seemed like it was all said and done in slow motion.

"Ahh, yes." I responded trying to pull myself together.

I could not take another emotional rollercoaster ride. I was all done out. I only had what to take me through the big revelation of my mother and I was not even sure that was enough.

"Look like d rum punch weh mi av a while a guh knock mi good," I said trying to play off the dismal feelings that set out to engulf me.

"Hey mi a guh back a d hotel, mi av a few things fi duh before mi cut." Kronazz said cutting into the intense way in which Maleek was staring at me.

"Awrite bredda. Wi will link," he said but his eyes were still fixed on me.

"Kool," Kronazz returned then left.

It was not until Kronazz had closed the door behind him that I pull away and limp to a chair.

"Patrice yuh get hurt?" he said moving quickly towards me but I put my hands up to stop him.

The thought of how I actually got injured only increased the funk that I was in. I could not do this. I could not take being here with a man that was clearly still up in his feelings for another woman.

A woman who was still his wife!

"A nuh nuhting Medz," I snapped.

My harsh tone cause him to stop in his attempt to look at my injured foot. He stared at me his brows furrowed in questions that I did not want to answer.

"Wah really a gwaan?"

I was not going to tell him. I could not tell him.

There was no way this was going to be my happy ever after.

I got up and move away as quickly as I could heading for the bathroom. I hurriedly locked the door and lean against it. I gave an involuntary gasp as I heard the handle rattle.

I ease off the door and turn to lean my head against the cool wood feeling a brief sense of wonder at how close I had came to keeping love.

It was often easy to find love but the hardest part was, keeping it. Last night at the bar opening as I had watched Medz I knew without a doubt I was in love with him. I wanted the promises to be fulfilled, I wanted the declarations of love to ring out true but most of all I knew I never want to lose him.

Not to Zindi or another woman nor by any means, but as I stood there tears streaming down my cheeks and my heart beat like jagged rocks ripping at my chest I knew I have lost it all.

He cared for me but he did not love me. He will forever love his wife. I was just some girl that held his attraction and I knew attraction was a feeble basis for love, romance yes but not love. It went beyond that.

Gyal tap bawl a kip yuhsef quiet. Yuh only hear wah yuh waah hear. A cause yuh fraid a wah Medz might duh wen yuh tell e wah happen earlier with OD yuh a find excuse. Yuh jus lub fi run weh!

I hiss my teeth and spun around and began to undress. I tried to ignore the truth behind what my inner voice said.

I was running alright, but from an impending heartbreak.

Lastnight the man play big tune fi yuh and declear to the wul bar and media a yuh e ting deh an yuh hear waah lil bit a waah conversation an yuh ready fi duh a Elain Thompson-Hera, yuh a damn sprinta?!

Di man a show Kronazz a vibes yuh run gone tek e up paah yuh head. Yuh need fi guh talk to him, tell him wah hapn cause mi av a strong feeling afta today yuh a guh need him more than eva.

I got in the shower and turn it full blast. The water sprayed on my face and upper chest like pinpricks as it pelt me but all I felt was the brokenness of my heart.

Jah know Patrice yuh expect betta fra yuh. U really a guh mek...

"Pat! Babes open e door!"

Boom, boom, boom!!!

"Babes come out an talk to mi nuh"

Boom, boom!!

"Bloodclaat! Mi wi bruck dung it raas enuh!"

My tears were now bitter sobs and they shook my body. I wanted all my feelings to be washed away like the water that was rushing down the drain.

I look down and my body trembled as another realization hit. The water was now tinge with a watery copper brown.

Was that my...?

"Wah the fu---?"

I look from the marble tile to the man that was now standing by the shower stall staring at me through the glass door.

For a second I look to the open door and was grateful to see it was still on its hinges then my eyes travel back to the swirling mini pool of bloody water going down the drain.

There it was, my period a sure sign that I had no viable connection to Maleek. I was not the true holder of his heart and neither was I worthy to bear his child.

I wish I could stop crying. I wish I could find the strength to look at Maleek but all I did was stare at the drain as it wash away my heart.

Were we not here because I might have been pregnant? Maleek had not blatantly spoken it but I knew the possibility of me being pregnant played a major role in my being here. I also figure he was not the type of man that was going to let his child grow up without him.

"Pat..."

My head slowly raised to look at him and the look in his eyes quickly had me looking away. I sure as hell did not want anybody's pity. It's what it is right? This was the better ending.

Coming to Ochi was just filled with warning signs after warning signs. From Kronazz's breakdown taking away the majority of his time when we had made plans to focus on why we had come to Ochi, to his little show with Zindi where I got to face some harsh realities mixed with Odean's little impromptu show up here that had me facing the fact that I only had it for Medz.

But what I had was just slipping away at every turn. I was not meant to have my happy ending with Maleek after all. The journey has ended before it even began.

"Patrice am sorry baby," he said pulling the sliding door open.

"Sorry fi wah Maleek?" I ask coldly". "Right now this is a blessing."

His eyes clouded over with a look I could not put words to but the sudden expressionless look on his face made me want to curl up and further bawl my eyes out.

"When God a work mek e work."

"Pat wah a gwaan wid yuh?"

I turn off the shower and turn to face him fully and replied.

"At sixteen mi get my share of not getting my period. Mi was scared and intrigue at the same time but life brought some harsh reality wid my pregnancy.

Mi couldn't fathom why Ms Murl couldn't bear fi mi deh wid OD. An in all tings it wasn't so much my being pregnant she jus nuh waah mi wid him.

One night she mek him affi sleep inna fowl coop when she know him come uppa mi yaad waah Sunday evening and carry mi guh a waah football match up a William Hill Community Center.

Wi nuh listen wi still tief an look fi one anadah every chance wi get until eventually them push wi fi duh wah would have ultimately happen an baby mek.

Mi jus couldn't undastan it an more so when Mama start fi be adamant mi lef out a OD company dat further mek mi want fi kip mi man an knowing mi pregnant mek it worse fi mi nuh waah lose him.

Ms. Murl cuss mi n mi family rotten n sen OD guh foreign wen she fine out I was pregnant. She class mi mother a woman I hardly knew, I did not undertand why or the what but I will never forget her saying...'yuh n yuh duty mumma a poison inna mi life'

Things are poison in our lives Maleek and its best mi work with prevention than a seek cure."

I pull the glass door shut and reach for the hotel-provided shower gel. I squeeze an ample amount on my shower sponge and with trembling fingers made to soap up my body but the attempt never materializes as Maleek slid the sliding door open and pull me from the shower stall.

It had me gasping in shock. He pressed me to him and said softly.

"Yuh have the cure right here but yuh too caught up inna d past fi c it. I want to be your shelter from past and present storms."

I thought I was all cried out but as he hugged me to him gently I felt sobs rock my body as hot tears ran down my cheeks.

How could he be my cure as well as my shelter when he still loved Zindi?

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Please👇

Nuff love 🇯🇲