╭ ╮
━━━━  " 📂 "

𝙋 𝙃 𝘼 𝙎 𝙀 𝙎

╰ ╯

SOMETHING IN KAHLIA was trembling. She was not exactly embarrassed by her exploits, but something came in the sincerity and moments of weakness they were joined by that failed to keep her usual disposition up. She hadn't expected for them to be laid out so openly before everyone. A frown had come to her face the moment she had seen the appropriately titled Incest Map of Hartley High and was yet to disappear.

It was huge, quite frankly, covering the pink wall in a number of coloured names and black lines of varying patterns to link them all together. Her friends being the names that stood out most prominently of them all.

Her name was included in that as well, of course, written in a shining, bright purple, somewhere in the middle of it all. The key that ran alongside explained the lines jumping off it. Names crossed her mind in a haze. Spider - they'd fucked, Ant too, and Dusty as well. Somehow the author knew of Malakai, the momentary stint of dating the guy from the upper year, and the time she, Missy and Sasha had all made out in an attempt to locate her sexuality.

"You like to get around, Kahlia." Dusty's eyes landed on her and, gaze narrowed, the girl in question pushed her way through the crowd on the stairwell. "All three of us?"

Her eyes narrowed, anger flared in her stomach and the ring-encrusted fingers on her right hand curled into a fist. "Seems to be a trigger effect," She began, "because we're balancing a lot of names between us, Dusty." Kahlia glared down at him, from the step above.

"And what's that supposed to mean?" Dusty asked.

Kahlia shook her head. "You can read, can't you?" She gestured up to the map, where the line linking their name had tiny writing near the end. "Something about us being each other's firsts... maybe that kinda signifies something. You don't have the right to slut shame me, dick." And she turned back up to stare at the links between her and the other classmates.

Spider scoffed from behind her, something of pride in his voice. "'Couldn't walk for three days'." He quoted, eyes on his own name. "That's true." He and Dusty celebrated before his hand retracted. "Wait, Lia, you slept with Ant? Really?"

Her jaw dropped and she spun to face him, thanking her lucky stars she was on a step above him easily levelling out their height. She shoved his shoulder. "It was a fucking threesome, Spider - you were there!" She frowned, and couldn't remembering anything she hated more than having her personal history splayed out on a map like this for everyone to read.

"Woah - woah, calm down, babe." He shook his head as she scowled at him. "Hey, who's this Malakai guy, because he's on here-"

"You've been hooking up with Spider for a year?" Sasha's tone was indignant as she turned to Kahlia. "But he's such a piece of shit - why would you?"

"None of your business, cunt." Kahlia snapped. "And don't start fucking trying it with me, check your own shit."

Slices of conversations buzzed in her head as she watch, stony-faced, as Spider snapped pics of the areas of the map he was proud of. Her own questions, to ask at a later date, were beginning to build up in her head. How the hell did the author of the Incest Map already know who Malakai was? The poor guy had only just gotten there.

"You scissored Greta Bathgate?" Missy sounded angry, her tone sharp. "Before or after we broke up?"

"I don't actually remember," Sasha admitted.

"What do you mean you don't remember?"

"I'm pretty sure we were on a break, but... wait, Missy." And Sasha pushed past as Missy stormed off up the stairwell and into the crowd that had gathered there, the two girls disappearing from sight although their argument could be heard if one concentrated hard enough above the buzz of confrontation.

Kahlia's eyes followed yet another line connected to hers, where Ant's name sat in bright yellow. Then; "wait - Darren jerked you off?" Eyes wide and no longer as angry at her own exploits being titled in permanent marker but rather interested in the rest of the gossip currently taking hold of her year.

"Nice bro." Spider jeered, chest pushing against Ant's shoulder. "You into dudes now?"

"A little cheeky, huh?" Dusty's words were followed by a wrist-jerking action, index and thumb forming a circle.

"Who said I'm a dude?" Darren interrupted, just as Quinni climbed up onto one of the stairs and found her own name.

"Spider - what's a lazy kebab?" She shouted, above the noise. "That's not true - what's a lazy kebab?"

"Yeah, Spider." Kahlia turned around, deciding to at least have a little fun with it all. "What is a lazy kebab? And how the fuck do you know if Quinni has one? Huh? When was this?"

"How the fuck am I supposed to know?" Spider rolled his eyes. "What? It wasn't like we were exclusive or anything. Well... I mean-"

"Don't be a prick, you knew what the deal was. No sleeping around unless you wanted to get tested before every time we slept together." Kahlia sniped. "Should I go book myself into a clinic now? Or am I completely-"

"Shut up, Lia, you know I didn't sleep with anyone else." Spider rolled his eyes. "What about you and Dusty, though, or this Malakai-"

"Malakai was in Melbourne." Kahlia waved her hand dismissively. It was a whole other city, over 500 miles away, surely it didn't count in the slightest.

"You're such a fucking hypocrite."

"Am I? Am I really?"

"Yeah, you're going and fucking other dudes, like Ant and-"

"That was a threesome!" Kahlia could've despaired if Dusty and Ant weren't watching with such glee at the fight. "You were there, dickhead. You were there every single moment - in fact, it was you who suggested it-"

"I did not!"

"You wanted to see me making out with someone, and you happened to decide your best friend was the obvious choice and-"

"Hey, can we just, I don't know, chill out a bit?" Ant blinked, voice contrastingly placid against the raised tones. "Yeah, we had a threesome, we were a bit drunk and-"

"Bit mad I wasn't invited." Dusty chimed in.

"Shut up." Kahlia snapped. "You know what, fuck this." She took a step away from the group, back facing the courtyard. "I'm fucking going home, because I can't be arsed with you dickheads and-"

She felt a hand grab her elbow. "Oh no, you don't, Kahlia Morgan. You're not wagging school, not today." Principal Woods joined the fray, stilting any attempts to leave the school. "All of you - gym, now. Nobody is leaving the premises until we get this sorted out."

And as the girl tore her arm away and fell into step beside a chucking trio of boys, who were destined to tease her continuously for the next year at the very least, the Principal turned to face the Incest Map of Hartley High with a sordid curiosity and disgust.

What the hell had her students been doing?

✬

Somehow Kahlia had managed to end up sitting on one of the most god-awful, uncomfortable plastic seats between Ant and Darren, legs crossed and arms folded tightly over her stomach, the look of utter disgust on her face prominent. Amerie offered her an attempt of a smile a couple seats and a row over, Missy made some dig about Greta and Sasha glanced across at Kahlia instead of replying. There, she would find no friendship, as the brunette rose her middle finger, pointed nails rose to the ceiling as she rolled her eyes. Sasha had absolutely no business trying to say who she should and shouldn't hook up with.

In the midst of her pointed glare, Sasha's expression changed and attention flickered elsewhere, Kahlia turning in her seat to see Harper entering the gym. Except... it looked a little different to the Harper she knew.

"God, I was only joking about the hair." She said, leaning forward to meet Darren's eyes, watching as they shrugged and turned to make a comment to Quinni on their other side. "What the fuck." She murmured.

"Pack it up, Eleven." Missy called over the low tone of comments from the other students as they saw her; all of them were used to bold statements made by other students in terms of their dress, but the bleached buzzcut Harper was currently sporting was a little more extreme than some of them had seen before.

Amerie had leapt from her chair, her best friend's name spilling anxiously out of her mouth, just as the Principal entered through one of the side doors and made her way to the set-up podium in front of the rows of chairs. "Sit down, Amerie." Woodsy demanded, her voice already sharp in the face of the students; she had been prepared for a start-of-year assembly, but upon finding out about the map it had quickly turned around into something different.

Kahlia, despite her best wishes to remain drama free and impassive as of that moment (and that moment only), spared a glance towards Harper - and she wasn't the only one. Buzzed hair certainly wasn't out of the ordinary for those confident enough to rock it. However, in Harper's case it was certainly a little out of the ordinary. Who arrived late on the first day, didn't turn up when their ride came for them and decide to ignore all their friends on account that they weren't edgy enough to suit their new style?

But she supposed she should wait to judge on it, get in a few catty remarks where she could and recommend the best wig supplier she knew.

"I am a woke woman." Woodsy announced. "I enjoy sеx as much as the next person." Kahlia hardly knew what she could've expected; faint laughter burst out across the crowd.

"Good for you, Miss." Kahlia spoke up, pulling a knee to her chest and finding herself oddly close to flashing herself, had she not stolen Ant's discarded sweater moments earlier. "But we really did not need to know that."

"Kahlia, I could care less about your comments right now." Woodsy shook her head, Dusty reached over, hand raised to high-five her. Kahlia ignored him and inched closer to Ant, leaning her head on his shoulder. "But reputation is everything and this map has jeopardized your reputations and the reputation of our school. On the first day back."

The principal paused, obviously for effect. "We are currently in the process of contacting all the parents of everyone on this map," Kahlia bolted upwards, almost entirely upright. That was not a good thing - not at all. Her parents loved her and spoilt her silly, but it was under the pretense that she was their little angel. "...and have strongly suggested that there are to be no more parties, shindigs or gathos."

Okay, that was worse than the parents thing. "You don't have the right to do that, Miss." Dusty managed to get out over the complains and grumbles of the other students.

But Woodsy was having none of it. "Hey! Hey!" She rose an accusatory finger. "Unsupervised parties equals alcohol. Alcohol equals poor choices."

"Speaking of," Spider sat up and tried to meet her eyes, "Oi, Kahlia, are we still on for tonight?"

"Get tested and text me, Spider, I'm not doing this here."

"I didn't fuck Quinni, Lia." He rolled his eyes, leaning even further forward past Dusty's raised eyebrows and Ant slowly sinking into his chair. "I'm pretty sure she's a lesbian anyway-"

"Spencer." Woodsy's voice interrupted the hushed conversation. "I don't care who is a lesbian or not. The risk-taking behaviours outlined on this map are unacceptable. Hartley High prides itself on being a safe environment." Darren scoffed, quite loudly. "But clearly this is a wake-up call that we are not doing enough. Oh, and we will find out who did this. Get to class. Go."

Kahlia didn't need any further instruction, chair legs screeching as she pushed it back and stood up, pulling her bag over her shoulder and ensuring all items of clothing were at the right length and not flashing anything - that was the last thing she needed - stalked away from the group of boys.

"Thanks for letting us know you were alright, Harps." Kahlia shook her head as she passed. "You know, maybe the bleach went straight to your head or something."

Dark curls bounced over her shoulder as she pushed past, ignoring calls of her name as she stalked out of the gym and to her first class of the day.

✬

Amerie had done it, the bitch.

Amerie had drawn the map, detailing every little bit of her friends' private lives and Harper had exposed her for it. They had fought during morning break - a physical fight (something that usually only happened with Kahlia around and she was most pleased that she wasn't the one involved in it this time) - and when Amerie had been dragged off to the Nurse's office with a highly bloody nose, it was more than obvious withouut Harper's muttered comments that it had been her.

And, whilst Kahlia would love to pass comment and make judgment on the fact it was the supposed best friend to reveal it, she was far too angry with Amerie to do so. There was something in her that felt... deeply betrayed by that, because she had confided in her about Malakai and about Spider and everything that happened between them because she thought they were friends and that's what friends did. But instead of enjoying the shared secrets, Amerie had drawn it somewhere that anyone could see if they stumbled down the wrong corridor and then everyone would know.

She was furious, quite frankly, and as she excused herself momentarily from Spider and Ant's company, and she stood before the mirror of the girl's bathroom closest to her locker, eyes fixated on her own appearance, alone.

Spider and Ant were outside waiting still; she could hear them; but nothing would deter her from the only moment to take a deep breath, because there was no doubt she was in enough shit with her parents for the contents on the map without getting involved with yet another fight.

And besides, she looked far too hot that day to do something like that. Usually, it wouldn't deter her at all, however that day she found an innate need to look good, because everything else was fucked up. But she couldn't look frazzled. She couldn't show it, couldn't show that she was upset or embarrassed by it all. That wasn't her.

"Fuck sake." She murmured, reaching for her pocket to retrieve her lip gloss and reapply it, lips puckered as she checked the rest of her outfit. There was nothing she could do now, just remain stoic towards any mention of the map and perhaps allow herself to get a little bitchy to anyone who dared question her. Including Amerie, if she ended up seeing her, and Sasha - because there was no way she was going to get away with making any more comments on Kahlia's choice in benefits.

Adjusting her skirt once more, and deciding to never wear it to school again, Kahlia crossed the small bathroom and exited, turning to Spider and Ant just down the hallway from her. The blond held out his arm, where her bag hung, and she took it back from him, swinging it over her shoulder.

"Ready?" Ant asked, smiling despite the prominent scowl that was sitting on her face as she looked over his shoulder. He turned to see what she was looking at. "You can't-"

"As hot as it would be..." Spider inputted, although the end of Ant's sentence had been cut off. "What? It was pretty obvious the way it was going.

"Fuck off, Spencer." Kahlia snapped. "I still want to know why Amerie seemed to think you'd slept with Quinni." She knew he hadn't, somewhere deep down, but that didn't mean anything was going to change with her attitude towards him. Kahlia was just... angry. At Amerie and the map, really, but Spider happened to just be annoying enough that some of the anger could translate toward him.

"I didn't have sex with Quinni." He shook his head. "Can you stop making such a fuss like I did? You fucking slept with this Malakai dickhead and-"

"I was in Melbourne." Kahlia reiterated, but just as she opened her mouth to continue the slightly - at this point, anyway - pointless argument, attention fell on someone behind her and spinning around to find out who, her eyes landed on none other that Amerie Wadia.

"Lia-" Amerie began, the stain of blood beneath her noise and the messy hair almost creating some kind of image she would usually be sorry for. But instead, the upset formed from the outing of her personal life and the division caused between friends seemed to expel that pity from her.

"Don't fucking look at me like that, Amerie." Kahlia, her head shaking. "The Map is really fucked up, like. You should be glad Harper got to you first."

"Kahlia, please, it wasn't... I didn't mean..."

"To air out all of my private shit to the rest of the school? I told you about all this 'cos I thought you could keep a secret, like you're supposed to as my friend." Kahlia shook her head, and she knew for a fact the scowl had slipped away now. "It fucking hurts, Ams, because I trusted you."

"Lia." Spencer's call brought her away from it. Away from the confrontation, the hurt, from everything that Kahlia didn't want to deal with. "Come on."

"Yeah." She nodded. "Yeah, coming." She turned away, tip of her tongue pushed against her teeth as her gazed slipped away from Amerie to her best friends.

Kahlia held her arm out. Spider reached for her bag. "No, you dickhead." Her nose wrinkled and her arm slipped beneath his elbow. "Fucking cunt."

✬

"Will the following students please meet at Classroom 5D." Woodsy's voice rang out across the school grounds, and Kahlia couldn't help but think it wasn't going to be good news.

They had managed to make it to break without another incident like the Harper-Amerie fight or the name calling in corridors... but everyone was still reeling from the revelation of the map, not one of them happy about their private affairs being available for everyone to see. Kahlia had been sat in the middle of Darren and Quinni with a look on her face similar to that which had played on her pretty features just before she fought Livvy Parker that one time, and didn't seem to have any care for their conversation whatsoever.

At the sound of the announcement though, her ears perked up.

"Amerie Wadia." Woodsy began. "Harper Mclean, Sasha So, Missy Beckett, Dustin Reid. Spencer White, Anthony Vaughn. Darren Rivers, Quinn Gallagher-Jones." Kahlia's gaze flashed towards her friends, who looked slightly concerned. "Douglas Piggott. Malakai Mitchell... and Kahlia Morgan."

"For fuck's sake." Kahlia stood up, reaching for her bag. "Do you think I could jump the gate?"

"In those shoes? Please, it would be funnier than when-" Darren cut themselves off. "Nevermind. I can't be mean like that anymore, it's bad for my skin."

"No say it, it'll be funny." Kahlia's eyes widened as she begged them, trying her very hardest to forget about the fact that the three of them were making their way towards inevitable doom.

She still hadn't convinced them - and had even employed Quinni to attempt to help her, and the poor girl's confusion on what the hell the two were talking about didn't even begin to aid Kahlia - by the time they reached Classroom 5D, and she filed through the door behind them, rolling her eyes as she heard Sasha making even more drama, as usual.

"Lia, babe." Her eyes flickered over to one of the back tables, where Spider was calling her over, sat besides Ant and Dusty, as usual.

"Don't call me that." Her nose wrinkled as she parted from Darren and Quinni, making her way over to the table. "Fuck off, Livvy." She added, as Spencer's arm found its way around her waist and she was pulled onto his lap. "Your hair looks like straw, get a new hairdresser."

The blonde girl sat on one side of the desk - whose hair really did look incredibly yellow and Kahlia wasn't just making it up - paused for a fraction of a second before deciding it best not to say anything to her and left them be.

"You don't have to act like you hate me now, K, everyone already knows." Spencer made a point in saying as she settled on his lap.

"PDA man, fuck." Ant shook his head.

Simultaneously, in an action far too similar for those liking, Kahlia and Spencer turned to the brunette to Spider's left, middles fingers raised.

"That was creepy." Dusty commented.

"So was you talking to and holding hands with Livvy fucking Parker, Dustin, but I didn't say shit about that."

"Livvy's nice, Lia, I don't know what you're on about." Dusty replied as Woodsy and Miss Obah - who Kahlia had had for English the year before were making their way to the front.

"She's a two-faced lying cunt who stole a bag from my wardrobe because the bitch couldn't afford her own." Kahlia sniffed. "But if you'd rather hang out with people like her...?"

"I'm so glad this isn't directed at me now." Spencer hummed as he shifted his legs beneath her, the hand of his free arm landing on her thigh, just where the hem of her skirt sat. "Ay, Lia? Now that everyone knows..."

"I'm not about the become the bitch who can't let go of her boyfriend, Spider, let me go."

"I'm not your boyfriend, so no problems there."

Before she could think up some kind of insult that he deserved, their attention was stolen by the fact that Cash had walked past, focus on a small group of boys on the table to the right. "Oi, eshay bah!" Ant and Spider jeered, laughing when they got the middle finger.

Spider leant forward, previous boyfriend comments forgotten as his arm tightened around her and he thoroughly enjoyed the arm hanging over his shoulders that Kahlia used to balance herself. "How was stereo, brah?" He asked. He was ignored, and laughter was shared between the group.

"So, Kahlia, you up for cemetary tomorrow?" Dusty asked.

"I have a new dress I wanna wear, so can do." She hummed, her nails running over the back of Spider's neck.

"It's gonna be a rager." The boy promised, as him and Ant did one of their weird handshake things.

Darren, sat at the table to their left, turned to face them. "Oi, uh, what's the cemetary?" He asked.

"None ya biz, bong water." Spider replied in a snap, and Kahlia's arm left where it had been so comfortable sat. "What?" He asked.

"It's an old graveyard near the beach. Pres at mine, yeah?" She asked, watching as they nodded.

"Okay, settle down. Sit on a chair, please, Kahlia." Their headteacher's massively grating voice split through the slowly escalating conversation, and the glare that had settled on Spender turned to the teacher. "Your boyfriend is not a chair."

"He's not my boyfriend." Kahlia tore herself away from him, bag sat on the table as she slipped into the empty stool left behind by Livvy. "I would just like everyone to be well aware of that."

"Thank you, Kahlia." Miss Obah said firmly, drawing the attention to herself. "Hi everyone. I'm Miss Josephine Obah, but you can call me Jojo. Kind of like, 'Yo-yo', but J." She chuckled to herself, and Kahlia and Darren shared a look. "I'm an English teacher, so I know some of you... but I'm sure you're all wondering why you're here. Well, your names were on the map in the stairwell - you know, the one that's out of bounds?"

As a classroom full of blank, slightly malicious faces stared up at her and at the mention of the map eyes began flickering over to where Amerie sat. "Thanks a lot, map bitch." Kahlia scoffed, not as under-her-breath as she had intended.

"Kahlia." Woodsy warned.

The boy seated next to Amerie who, Kahlia realised with a start, was Malakai, raised his hand. "Uh, what map?" He asked, and she did feel the slightest bit bad.

"Okay, very funny." Miss Obah said and slowly Malakai's hand lowered although he still looked rather confused. "Look, peeps, we're not dumb. We know a lot of you are sexually active, but we're concerned this map demonstrates a real lack of respect for one another when it comes to sexual relationships. So... we wanna address it head-on."

Beside Kahlia, Spencer was feigning a blow job, tongue poking the inside of his cheek.

"This is a special class that aims to give you clear and accessible information about sex and intimacy-"

Miss Obah was cut off. "A sexual literacy tutorial." Woodsy said, and a wave of murmurs spread the room.

"SLT. So we're sluts?" Darren pointed out, and the murmurs and rolling eyes turned to that of laughter.

"Sluts! Sluts! Sluts!" Spider and Anthony began to chant, rising from their seats to only continue Spencer's feigned blowie in a much more exaggerated fashion. Kahlia despaired, her gaze set straight forward as though it wasn't even happening at all. This was why. This was why her and Spider's friends-with-benefits situation had been kept a ecrey and only let out to the supposedly most trusted of ears.

"That's enough." Miss Obah stopped them once again. "Come on everyone. This class will go back to the basics on sex and relation-"

And seemingly not letting the poor woman get a sentence out, because Woodsy was interrupting yet again. "Because clearly, you all have a lot to learn in that department." The headmistress said, looking around the class scathingly.

"Surely we know a lot about sex, Miss." Kahlia called out. "Like, if we're consulting the map at all? That's why we're here, apparently none of us can stop fucking."

"Ain't that right."

"Shut the fuck up, Spence." Kahlia hissed to the blond.

"Uh-oh, looks like there's trouble in paradise." Sasha's comment was clearly not meant to be heard, but Kahlia rounded in her seat and made to get up. Suddenly, there were numerous pairs of hands on her shoulder's holding her down.

"So help me God, Sasha, if you chat shit about me any more then I have no problem-"

"Kahlia." Miss Obah sounded vaguely scary and the Morgan girl sank bat down into her seat, gaze beneath her lashes flashing to each of her friends. One of Spencer's hands stayed loosely on her thigh but Ant and Dusty, who had scrambled from their seats to stop her retreated quietly. "That is enough. SLTs will happen twice a week... in your own time."

As if it couldn't get any worse, groans erupted around the classroom and echos of complaints about basketball rang in Kahlia's ears.

"Until-" Miss Obah waited just a moment, until most of the upset had calmed just a little. "Until we judge that you started to respect each other and yourselves. And you've gotta attend every class or it'll go on your permanent record."

"Wait, we have permanent records?" Ant asked, sounding terrified.

"This is sex jail!" Missy complained.

Ant, who had previously been rather calm about the whole situation, appeared to have been set off by the whole permanent records thing. A balled-up piece of paper was sent flying across the room, hitting Amerie square in the back. "Thanks a lot, Map Bitch."

Malakai's hand raised once again. "Sorry. Um, it's actually my first day." He reached down for his bag. "I don't think I'm supposed to be in here."

"Legend!" Spider sat up. "Made it to the map before you even started!"

Malakai turned back to the face them. His eyes flickered towards Kahlia, who offered something of a half-arsed smile. "Spider, you're so fucking stupid." She breathed out, head shaking.

"All right!" Woodsy shouted over them and Spider's oblivious confusion. "Everybody up. Up! Up! Up!" She pushed them, knuckles rapping against the table. "Okay, now clear these tables to the side, please. And lift them, don't scrape them along the floor." Her voice died as everyone ignored her instructions. "...Thank you. Now I want you all to start walking around the room. Come on! Walking."

"This is so stupid." Kahlia breathed out as she did as she was told, brushing past shoulders as she did so.

"Good, you can walk." Woodsy continued. "Now, I want you to choose several other people to start shaking hands with." Kahlia avoided Amerie in front of her and found Spider waiting for her. Then Ant, and as though she couldn't have anyone else near her, Dusty as well. "Shaking.. Shaking... Good, you know how to shake." Then came Darren and Quinni, Missy - she decisively avoided Sasha - and then Malakai.

"Hi." He smiled.

"Shaking... shaking, and stop." Amerie stood apart from them all at Woodsy's last instruction, and there seemed to be no sympathy sent her way. "Okay. Spencer." The headmistress said, and the blond boy stepped forward. "You have... genital crabs."

"Checks out." Darren hummed. Kahlia grinned as Spencer glared.

"Not in real life, thank you, Darren." Woodsy shook her head. "For the purposes of this game, put your hand up please, Spencer.... hand up, Spencer!"

"Go on then." Kahlia nudged him after a beat had passed and his arms remained folded over his chest. Reluctantly, he raised his hand.

"Now. Hands up who shook hands with Spencer."

Kahlia's hand went up, as did Ant's and Dusty's.

"And who shook hands with them?" Several more followed. "And who shook hands with them... and them? And them?" Soon enough, all but Amerie had their hand's raised. "You all have genital warts."

Spider let out a laugh, turning around to catch his friends' eyes but finding Kahlia glowering between the two. He turned back to face the teacher.

"I thought it was crabs?" Malakai corrected.

"Right. Crabs. Thank you, um..."

"Malakai."

"Malakai." Woodsy repeated. Spencer made a face. "Thank you. You all have genital crabs. Except for you, Amerie. Well done. Now, what does this highlight the need for?"

"Er, to stay away from Spider, cause he's chat." Cash interrupted. Further laughter ensued, Spencer shaking his head.

"Good guess." Woodsy false niceities lasted less than a minute. "No! Condoms."

And before anyone else could say anymore, the bell had rung and the first session of SLTs ended with a safe-sex reminder and a classload of year twelves with genital warts... or crabs. Whichever was worse.

Definitely crabs.