9.

I wasn't thinking straight, I was so distraught, and never realised when I had started crying. Crying was like a hobby sort of thing for me at this point, because that was something I seemed to do unhealthily often.

In fact, I bet that I had spent more crying and mourning about my pathetic life than doing anything else.

What a strange thing to boast about.

I came out of my house, and began running. To where, I didn't know. All I knew was that I had to get away from the ringing of the voice message she had sent me, along with some triggering pictures, saying some things that may have been extremely rude to some people.

And so I ran, and ran, with no thought in mind.

That is, until I suddenly thought of you.

It was very sudden and unexpected. I had no idea why, but you were all I was thinking about while running down multiple roads. It was like a feeling from within.

Reality hit, and I found myself in the middle of the road, traffic zooming all around me. Time literally slowed down as I watched the cars barely avoiding me. It all seemed and looked very vivid and surreal.

I wondered for how long I would stay 'lucky' and not be hit by one of the vehicles. Actual luck, for me, would be to be hit by a vehicle.

Slowly, I took a step forward, purposely putting myself in the path of a car that was coming in my direction, obviously breaking the speed limit.

I closed my eyes, wondering if death could be any worse than everything else I had gone though.

x x x