╭                                                                 ╮
━━━━ " 📂  "

𝙃 𝙀 𝘼 𝘿 𝙊 𝙑 𝙀 𝙍 𝙃 𝙀 𝙀 𝙇 𝙎

╰                                                               ╯

LONDON
BEFORE THE SOCIAL SEASON
1813

┈ ┈ ┈ ⋞ 〈 ⏣ 〉 ⋟ ┈ ┈ ┈

WHEN ONE IS AWAY, one does not think about returning home until the time comes in which one must ascend into a carriage and embark on the journey there. It was not proper, and most unkind to one's hosts, and Cecilia Bridgerton was many things, but she was not uncharitable.

It had been a year since she roamed the streets of London with the companionship of her Mama or dearest siblings, and as she awaited her carriage alongside her favoured maid, who was keeping watch of several leather trunks that held all of her belongings. Returning before the beginning of the social season was perhaps one of the better ideas that had come from her brother, Anthony's, mind. It had been detailed in a letter received two weeks before, and within five days her return had been confirmed.

She was most excited. There were people there she missed. Her twin, Colin, her elder brothers, her younger sisters, her Mama - she supposed Frederick too - and the rest of the company they all kept. Nothing close to that occurred in the small seaside town in which she had stayed to recover, her supposed illness cured by the change of scenery and the sea air. And with the social season quickly upon them, she knew she must delay no more, and in only a couple days later, she would be presented in front of the Queen, and her life could begin again.

Her societal debut should have taken place the previous year, but with the troubles that came from a night of one sole mistake, she had deferred until her next chance, and now that Anthony had expressed agreement to her coming home, her own wishes could come true. Her mother had worried for her over the time in which she was taken away, and was concerned that a mere year wouldn't be enough. But Cecilia knew now, as she stood beside the grass verge, a book held in her gloved fingers and a brisé fan in the other awaiting her ride, she was more than ready to stage her return.

And how the members of the ton had awaited it. It was believed that the day that Cecilia Bridgerton debuted would be the day that suitors travelled from far and wide to perhaps be the one that would take her hand in marriage. Many had waited for that day a year prior, but it never came. Instead, a carriage had left early in the morning, and that day had not come, and many had left been disappointed.

Because Cecilia Bridgerton was a Regency enigma and was no doubt one of the, if not most, anticipated debut of that age. And she expected to live up to that role now that she had returned.

"Oh, Mama!" Cecilia was leaning out of the carriage window in the most improper way, yet she seemed not to care. The smile on her face was wild with long-awaited reunion, as the horses pulling her home slowed to a stop, her wish to get out of the carriage only grew. "Hurry, you insipid man." She hit the footman on the shoulder with her reticule as he stepped forward to pull open the hinged slab of lacquered wood. Cecilia accepted his gloved hand as he helped out her, turning to clutch it. "Many apologies, I did not mean that."

Her words were nodded away quickly and quietly, like most servant reactions should be, and with a pat to his hands, Cecilia turned away from the footman and towards her mother, Violet Bridgerton awaiting her first-born daughter with a polite smile. The woman was quickly overwhelmed by Cecelia throwing her arms around the woman.

"I hope you don't find it frightfully inappropriate for such an outward display of affections, but I have missed you so, Mama," Cecilia muttered, her words carrying directly to her mother's ear, who only tightened her grasp around her child.

"And I have missed you," Violet replied, Cecelia straightening as she was released by her mother, watching as her own gloved hands were taken up in the touch of her mother. "I trust you're feeling better?"

"Much better, Mama." She promised. "The events of that frightful evening have left an imprint on me, but I am healed and feeling much better."

"I am glad. It must have been the sea air." The woman nodded, her eyes glancing around the help around them. "Once we have entered the house, begin to take her luggage into her room. Betsy, you may slip in quietly and help." Violet addressed those constantly surrounding them before returning to her daughter.

"Mama, was it wrong of me to be expecting a hoard of those awaiting my return?" Cecilia hummed, peering around the hoards of staff awaiting their movement. "Colin at the very least, Anthony too, considering he is Viscount and I am his sister."

"I thought it would be quite a nice surprise. Anthony, of course, is aware of your return but I ensured that it was I who would be prepared to receive you first." Her mother replied. "I would like to talk more later, in private, but I believe there is no better time than the present to reintroduce you to the family."

"It certainly has not been so long, has it?" The girl walked arm-in-arm alongside the Lady as they headed towards the front doors, nodding sweetly as they were pulled open. "It was only a year, Mama."

"A year which the presence that has always been there was not," Violet replied. Her voice lowered slightly. "There was some confusion on the behalf of your siblings on the insistence against visiting and remaining in contact through letters, especially considering your hurried leave, but I merely told them you were sick, you may embellish if you wish."

"Thank you, Mama. You've... you've saved me from all that could have gone wrong in my life." Cecilia pressed a kiss on her mother's cheek, ears and expression peeking as she heard the sound of the piano floating through the hallways. "They are all in the drawing-room?"

"I believe so." Violet watched as her daughter rushed off towards the room, completely lacking in all and any decorum a young lady like herself would usually inhabit. But she couldn't quite mind to correct her, despite her debut coming so soon. Her daughter was home, and it was a cause for celebration, not a lesson.

Cecilia could hear her heart thumping loud and louder behind layers of carefully positioned hair that was easily falling out of its style as she ran, coming to a stop mere feet away from the open doors and slowing her approach, coming to rest on the doorframe.

Her eyes cast over the inhabitants within. It was like nothing had changed. Daphne was playing the pianoforte, Benedict drawing, Anthony brooding over something or the other, Eloise reading and Hyacinth and Gregory engaged in what looked to be an abysmal game of chess, the youngest girl's embroidery long discarded.

All was well in the Bridgerton household, but Cecilia preferred when there was a little excitement.

"I must say, Daphne, you have certainly improved since the last time I had the displeasure of hearing you play." Her voice carried easily across the room, louder than the elegant sound of the keys, which came to a sudden halt.

Heads had shot up, smiles of wonder appearing on their faces as they stood. "Cecilia." Colin was the first from his seat, crossing the room abnormally fast as he hugged his twin. "How dare you leave me here with our baboons of siblings for an entire year."

"Pleased to see you, brother, although I dare say your cravat is close to strangling me." Cecilia had been pulled into the room by this point, surrounded by her siblings and received in a flurry of hugs and commented greetings. Benedict found himself last, and he had charcoal stains on his fingertips.

"Always good to see you, Cecil." The old charade was back again, and Cecilia automatically assumed a less-ladylike posture. "Good fellow, might you have been studying at Oxford or Cambridge these past few months?"

"Why of course. Literature and Languages. Greek and Latin, that is. I must have read through an entire library." Cecilia replied as Daphne shook her head, somewhat disapproving.

"Ah, she thinks herself a scholar," Benedict replied, nodding around at the group.

Cecilia smiled as Colin slid an arm under her own, evident worry on his face. It seemed, after his comment, he had realised the severity of her lack of presence. "One finds that one doesn't have much to do if one is bedridden." The smile turned almost sad, but as quickly returned to full bloom.

"Were you awfully ill?" Hyacinth couldn't restrain herself from asking; her sister was truly her best friend and the idea of her being sick was simply unimaginably painful to a young girl.

"Oh no, not awfully, just for a long time." Cecilia quickly remedied. "But I regained my strength and spent the spring enjoying some of the most wonderful walks along the coast. I even borrowed a horse and went riding - pheasant hunting was quite popular too, though I suppose you all enjoyed that in the country before returning here."

"I often thought hunting the least ladylike of sports." Anthony hummed, beginning to make his way back to the focus of all his attention.

"You often think a lot of things, brother, and almost never are they right." Cecilia skipped her return, a simpering smile crossing her features as he pulled a face. "Why, I don't see why it has become such a surprise. I grew up doing the exact same thing - I may not have for a year, but it is more often than not that I join you sparring in the garden wearing my own pair of breeches. Though I suppose that I am now able to marry that anything I enjoy is deemed inappropriate."

"I shall always be up for a scuffle," Colin said, always the one to mediate his twin's anxiety. "However, you have been other things to enjoy as well. I don't quite remember - such a long time has passed - but I believe you once enjoyed reading, needlework and playing the pianoforte as well."

"Ass." Cecilia hit her brother's shoulders, eyes filled with amusement as Daphne look on disapprovingly. "Alright, alright, my darling sister." She turned away, crouching down just slightly. "Gregory, Cynthia, please never repeat any word that dares leave my mouth."

"I just worry, sometimes you can be frightfully improper. Not to mention your friendship with Frederick Grey." Daphne added, as she too returned to her former activity.

"No need to worry, I have been trained into becoming the perfect debutante, have I not?" Cecilia smiled. "You should worry about your own presentation, Daph, considering my friendship with Lord Grey consisted of spending copious hours on the palace lawn whilst his mother and the Queen herself looked on."

"Since we find ourselves in a scheduled debutante versus debutante disagreement... may I steal Cecilia away, Colin." Eloise had torn her attention away from her book for long enough to place a hand on the oldest sister's arm. "For a mere minute or so, I only wish to discuss one small topic."

"Eloise-"

"Colin!"

"Fine. If you must." Colin waved his hand and allowed for his twin to be dragged away.

Cecilia was brought through into the hallway by the ever-ruthless younger sister, who, once they had left the confines of the drawing-room, slipped an arm through her elbow as they were promenading through the park. Eloise didn't say anything for a moment, examining the amused expression on Cecilia's face before launching into whatever it was that remained so prominently on her mind.

"Do you truly wish to debut?" Eloise asked in a burst of passion. "I only ask because you've been away and ill and I overheard Anthony insisting that it was necessary if you were well enough."

"I-"

"Debuting is not a necessity, Cecilia, you must know that." She insisted, her hand on her older sister's forearm tightening significantly. "You do not have to if you do not feel inclined to do so - Anthony cannot dictate your every move. We have always been likeminded in that sense, no?"

"We have," Cecilia confirmed with a small nod. "However, as the oldest daughter - despite my deferral - it is important for me to debut. Then I shall be marriable and I shall be able to choose my suitor and more importantly, my future."

The younger girl looked no more pleased at that than the confirmation that came before. "Are you sure you are feeling well? No temperature or returning illness, perhaps? Something that can ensure I don't have to attend any of the awful daytime events?"

"No, Eloise. I'm completely recovered, and I couldn't get out of debuting even if I tried." She looked apologetic like she really truly didn't want to do it. "However, I do wish to marry, even if-"

"But you're so free without it. Daphne can marry because she's always been somewhat stiff and enamoured with nothing but the traits that would appease a future partner, but you, Cecilia, have always tried otherwise. You and Anthony were just talking of hunting - no woman hunts, but you do. How can you warrant your freedom to do such things be taken away like that?" Eloise looked as though her mind had run off without a head to reside in, eyes wide and full off questioning. "Anthony isn't here, you can speak your mind."

"That is my mind, darling sister." Cecilia only smiled and brought her sister around to face her instead of walking lengths up and down the powder-toned hallway. "I wish to be married. And I am simply looking for a husband who will allow me to do such things without much complaint. That opens a corridor to a potential market - someone I can walk all over when I am free of my wifely duties, or someone who lacks the prejudice many men face over the idea of their wife having an ounce of independence. Otherwise, I shall not marry. It is not only me, Eloise, I ensure you there are other women who believe there is another purpose in life than marriage and producing heirs."

Eloise was silent for a moment, taking in the sight of her once other-worldly sister who did nothing but dance over the elegance and airs a debutante inhabited. Now, she seemed grown-up. "Name one, then." She crossed her arms over her chest. "Just one, for I know no other."

"Euphemia Grey." Cecilia replied quite quickly. "She did exactly as she pleased. She rode horses and wore her brothers' breeches to fence alongside them. She painted and wrote poetry and proceeded through a single season before leaving for France. I cannot think of an alternate woman who has as much agency as Euphemia Grey."

"Of course!" Elosie erupted into smiles that fell all too quickly, thought evident in her eyes. "She yet to return from France, you know? And was Anthony not-"

"Utterly devoted to her cause and purpose, of course." Cecilia shrugged, a small elegant movement that slipped from her shoulders through to her hands before she stilled. "We do not mention Euphemia though, for fear of him snapping his pencil in two. But just be aware, Eloise, you are not alone in your thinking, as much as it may seem as so."

"Good. I should think I'd rather perish." She announced with an air of simplistic dramatics. "I suppose I should return you to your twin. He's been positively bothersome since you left him alone. You should be quite conscious of his attachment difficulties."

"I am aware." She confirmed as they made their way back towards the drawing-room with subsequent enough conversation to keep their minds alight with attention. "Should I dare ask where Francesca is?"

"Walking with a friend. In just a week she is supposed to be travelling to learn pianoforte with Aunt Winnie." Eloise replied just as they came to a stop in front of the open doors. "Are you not coming in?"

"No, not quite yet. Colin?" Cecilia called into the room before her, watching as her twin appeared. "Walk me to my room? I have to rest before dinner but I need to have someone of sane, practical thoughts to guide me through the important events that occurred in my absence."

"Am I not of sane, practical thought?" Eloise watched as Colin took Cecilia's arm and began the journey toward the stairs. "Cecilia - am I not of sane, practical thought? I believed us to be likeminded."

"Dearest, I hardly believe Cecilia to be of sane, practical thought herself." Violet appeared by her elbow. "Come read, I think we should allow her some time to settle in. She was away for quite a while, and it must be a lot to become accustomed to in her return. I have to call at the modiste later to arrange several dresses for Cecilia, you are perfectly welcome to join me."

And exactly as the mother had expected, Eloise was quick to rejoin her family with her book.