Larkwing felt light. As if she was made of emptiness and even the gentlest breeze would blow her away like a feather. Greenish-yellow dots of light rose up from the grass into the night.

Fireflies, Larkwing remembered. I've never seen anything like that in my whole life.

Her breath stopped for a moment.

Ripping like a river during a storm, the realisation came. "I died," she whispered, her voice rough, toneless. Small clouds of breath came out of her mouth. Strange, for she wasn't freezing. She felt nothing. Even the unbearable pain of the fatal injuries inflicted on her had disappeared.

I am dead. I have been killed.

Yes — she did still feel something. Despair, sadness, anger, confusion. All of it filled her body. It tingled in her paws, wound its way up her legs and spread over her flanks to the tip of her tail and her vibrissae.

I let them all down. I should have been more careful! Larkwing lashed her tail. A swarm of fireflies dodged her, startling and tumbling.

The battle was going well for her. She would still be alive if she hadn't been ambushed. Whoever had killed her possessed a strength she could never have matched, combined with an immense amount of bloodlust.

This shadowless cat was different from the rest. They had not just killed her with a bite or a claw strike to the throat. They had tortured her to death, as if it were a pleasure. Like they did with Reedclaw back then.

What irony. She was a Shadowless fighting against her own kind, and now found her end through another Shadowless.

Larkwing turned her gaze upwards. In a whirl-like formation, the countless fireflies alternately flew in opposite directions above her. It looked beautiful and mesmerising, although it also gave her the chills.

So StarClan really does exist. But where is everyone? It had never been the case that Larkwing didn't believe in StarClan. However, she had imagined it very differently. With cats. Not so gloomy and empty.

Suddenly, a firefly detached itself from the swarm and sat on her nose. With a snort, Larkwing shook her head. The firefly was not put off by this and even started to blink as if it was making fun of her.

Larkwing curled her muzzle. "What do you want from me?" she murmured.

Apparently the firefly had understood her, because it detached itself from her and floated up and down in agitation. Larkwing let out an involuntary purr and playfully swatted at the glowing insect with one paw. It then flew away a little, but immediately returned.

Does it want me to follow it? Just as Larkwing was about to make a move, the swarm of fireflies flew over her and sat on the blades of grass, forming a glowing yellow-green path.

While Larkwing followed the countless vivid points of light, she didn't feel the grass beneath her paws. She seemed to float straight ahead, and when she looked at her paws in wonder and curiosity, she realised that they didn't actually move like they did when she ran.

"Holy StarClan!" she blurted out. Am I even allowed to say that? After all, I'm a StarClan warrior now, too.

There it was again: this mixture of emptiness and overwhelming feelings. She had to come to terms with the fact that she was dead. That she would only see her Clanmates again if they died too.

A stifled sob forced its way out from between her fangs. She had always preferred to die in battle rather than succumb to illness, but she didn't want to enter the afterlife so soon, and especially not like this.

It grew darker around her. Black silhouettes of trees appeared. They were gnarled and almost leafless. Only a lone, withered leaf hung from some of the branches.

StarClan cannot possibly look like this. Suddenly, pairs of glowing yellow eyes flashed everywhere. A silent cry of horror escaped Larkwing.

"Come here..."

"You're one of us..."

"Of us..."

A chorus of whispering voices, echoing and cruel, surrounded her. Larkwing looked round jerkily. Leave me alone! The retort was on the tip of her tongue like mouse bile.

"There's no place for you in StarClan..."

"They won't accept you..."

Lie! Larkwing flattened her ears and hissed into the blackness.

"Your heart is tainted, Larkwing. Don't forget what you've done..."

"They died because of you... You killed them."

"You broke the code of combat... And the warrior code as well."

"For this, you will rot in the Dark Forest for eternity..."

"For eternity... for eternity... for eternity..."

Larkwing pressed her ears even tighter to her head. She couldn't believe them! She — in the Dark Forest? Where the most evil and dangerous cats ended up after their death?

You are wrong. I didn't do it of my own free will. And my heart is anything but tainted.

And yet she knew she couldn't escape the truth. It didn't matter whether she had killed under the influence of shadowlessness or not. That was in no way an excuse for her actions.

Billowing mists in the shape of cat bodies appeared around the glowing eyes. "That's the way," the chorus of voices hissed. "Join us. Leave the path of light. In the end, only rejection awaits you anyway."

Larkwing hesitated. She looked at the fireflies, then into the darkness of the forest. Should she give in? Or should she continue to follow the fireflies?

"What should I do?" she whispered.

In response, the fireflies flickered a few times.

Larkwing took a deep breath. "You are right. How could I have been so feather-brained?"

Filled with determination, she floated on — always following the fireflies. All around her, the cats of the Dark Forest howled furiously. But she didn't listen to them.

I'm sorry. But I'm not like you. I hope so.

At that moment, the shadow trees and cats shattered into numerous white and golden sparkling splinters. They floated up into what would be called sky in the world of the living. Relief flooded through Larkwing. Whatever that was, she had managed to resist it.

Then she suddenly realised that the fireflies were all gone. Just as she was about to open her mouth and call for them, she caught sight of her.

Her eyes caught hers first. They were such a dark amber colour that they appeared almost brown. There was so much love in them, so much pride, that Larkwing felt warm all over. She wanted to say something. She knew she had to say something. But right now she was an emotional mess, with too many feelings and thoughts swirling around in her head, unable to be captured.

"Hello, my little warrior," the StarClan she-cat purred, her voice clear and bright like raindrops pattering on a stream. "It's nice to finally see you again. What a beautiful and strong she-cat you've become."

Her smooth, thick pelt was tortoiseshell; countless golden speckles on a black coat. White spots adorned her tail and legs and she had a small blaze on her forehead.

Larkwing felt as if her heart stopped beating for a moment. Although she wasn't even sure that she could still have that feeling as a dead cat. "Twi—" A hoarse whisper escaped her lips. "Twilightwing?"

The StarClan she-cat lowered her head. "That's me."

At that moment, an imaginary long thorn pierced Larkwing's chest. Trembling, she took a step forward. Then another.

She wanted to wail like a kit. She wanted to throw herself on the ground like a kit and hide her muzzle between her paws.

But she stood firm. She was an adult she-cat...

... who could see her mother for the first time.

As she came even closer, Twilightwing backed away. "I'm sorry, sweetie," she murmured ruefully. "You can't touch me. Not yet, anyway."

Larkwing paused. Bewildered, she stared at Twilightwing. She couldn't possibly be serious. After a whole lifetime without her, she could finally get to know the cat who had given birth to her — even though it was only her soul — and then she wasn't even allowed to get close to her?

"This must all be a big shock for you, isn't it?" Twilightwing sounded sympathetic. And that made Larkwing angry.

"I didn't mean for this to happen!" Uncontrollably, her voice gained volume. "I didn't want to die! I don't belong here."

Visibly surprised, but at the same time unsettled, Twilightwing backed away even further. "Calm down—"

"Calm down?" Larkwing gasped. "Calm down? I'm dead, in case you hadn't noticed! And just now I was almost abducted by the Dark Forest!"

She would probably have continued to express her irritation had her attention not been drawn to a soft rustling sound. Shortly afterwards, a tiny kit crawled out from under a silvery bush.

What's a kit doing here? Immediately afterwards, Larkwing was able to answer her own question. No matter how heartbreaking it was, even kits were not spared from death.

Twilightwing turned around with a sigh. "Ivykit hangs on me all the time. Maybe I should have called him Burdockkit instead. Or Clingykit."

Wait... Ivykit? Amberhaze's and my littermate who didn't survive birth?

On light paws, Twilightwing leapt over to the silvery bush and picked up the kicking Ivykit by the scruff of his neck. "All kits who go to StarClan can see and hear, even if they died before they developed those abilities," she explained as she set Ivykit down in front of Larkwing's paws.

Curious, Larkwing lowered her head to get a better look at him. He was a golden tabby like Sunbrook, with white paws and a white tail tip. His eyes were still the dark blue shade that all kits had before their irises took on the right colour.

"Hello," she purred softly.

Ivykit stretched his tiny nose towards her and gave a short squeak.

"Unfortunately, he can't express himself properly. This ability will probably be denied to him forever," Twilightwing explained as she stepped next to her starry kit and nudged him gently with a front paw. "Look, Ivykit, this is Larkwing. One of your little sisters. Well, one of your little big sisters, to be exact."

Larkwing twitched her whiskers. That's right, Fernpool and Cloudwind told me that Ivykit was the firstborn of our litter.

She could hardly take her eyes off Ivykit. How different her life could have been if he and Twilightwing had survived! Then she would never have been in MoonClan. Swallowfern, Dashfoot and Leafwind would have been strangers to her. Would anything else have changed?

"I wish you were still alive," she heard herself say before she really realised she was speaking.

Twilightwing gave her a long look from her amber eyes. "Oh, Lark," she murmured. "You can't imagine how often I wish for that. This eternal peace in StarClan is frightening in the long run. How I would love to exchange that for a single day on earth! Just one day would be enough for me if I could spend it with you and Amberhaze. I also want to see Sunbrook and Dawnbreeze again. I finally want to be able to hunt prey again that isn't a manifestation of my memories. By my whiskers, I even miss having thorns in my paw pads!"

But you'll never be able to experience that again, Larkwing added silently. Just like I'll never experience it again. Because I was freaking killed! She unsheathed her claws. In the realm of StarClan, as a soul without a physical body, she could do nothing. All she could do was hope that this shadowless cat had also perished.

Twilightwing's meow tore her from her thoughts. "Come with me. There's something I need to show you."

Again, Larkwing's head was full of questions, but she swallowed them down. Twilightwing probably wouldn't be able to answer them anyway.

Twilightwing crouched down so that Ivykit could pull himself onto her back. "Let's go for a walk," she suggested.

Where to? Larkwing wrinkled her muzzle suspiciously, but didn't dare to ask further.

While Twilightwing trotted ahead — or rather floated ahead — Larkwing took a closer look around for the first time. There wasn't much to see. Just an endless meadow with short, raspy grass, the tips of which seemed to sparkle with dewdrops. If she listened hard enough, she thought she could hear the quiet babbling of a small stream, but the supposed source of water was nowhere to be found.

Besides, they were the only ones here. Which was extremely strange, because these were StarClan's hunting grounds after all. Shouldn't this place be teeming with the souls of dead Clan cats?

Larkwing caught up with Twilightwing. "I imagined StarClan to be different," she began.

Twilightwing twitched her whiskers in amusement. "Well, actually, this isn't StarClan," she revealed. "You could call it a sort of intermediate level. No, more like an entrance area. If the words of the Supreme Council are to be believed, all cats come here directly after death, and then it is decided whether they can join StarClan or have to go to the Dark Forest."

Again that stab in the heart that isn't actually there. "I almost went to the Dark Forest." At these words, Larkwing lowered her gaze to her paws so she wouldn't have to look Twilightwing in the eyes — those much too warm, loving eyes. Someone like her didn't deserve to be looked at in such a way.

"Oh, Lark..."

"And the worst part is that I think I might belong there after all," Larkwing continued.

Twilightwing drew in a sharp breath. "You mustn't think that!" she snarled. She stopped and shoved her muzzle into Larkwing's face, a sudden glow of anger in her eyes.

What do you understand about what I had to go through? Before she realised what she was doing, Larkwing raised her lips and hissed.

With a whimper, Ivykit crouched down and stared up at her with wide eyes. Larkwing immediately regretted freaking out like that. She licked her lips to show he had nothing to fear, but it hardly seemed to calm Ivykit down.

"I'm sorry... I'm sorry," Larkwing stammered to herself. She felt like a pile of misery. Twilightwing didn't deserve to be hissed at. "But you don't have to force yourself to see the good in me just because I'm your kit. I've killed other cats. More than one, in fact. And most of it wasn't even in self-defence, but because... because—"

"Because your soul was being corrupted," Twilightwing explained as calmly as if she were explaining to an apprentice how to catch mice. "You know, there's a big difference between doing something in full consciousness and being under an uncontrollable influence. The latter was the case with you. Since the separate soul fragment inside you was infected by the shadowlessness—"

Twilightwing abruptly snapped her mouth shut, her eyes wide with shock.

Larkwing stuck out a paw. "Separate soul fragment? What does that mean?" she inquired.

Something was tingling inside her. She just couldn't make out what it was. Judging by Twilightwing's sudden hesitation, it just had to be something she shouldn't have known. But why would she hide something like that?

Twilightwing lowered her tail until the tip dragged limply in the grass. "I'm such a mouse-brain," she groaned. "That just slipped out. Actually, it was too soon to tell you that."

But Larkwing persisted. "No!" Her voice cut sharply through the air. "I want to know now. No more excuses."

Twilightwing remained silent for a while. Which drew Larkwing insane. Say something at last, she pleaded.

Twilightwing padded on without a word. Larkwing hurried after her in astonishment. Somehow she had the feeling that Twilightwing wasn't the kind of cat who volunteered explanations.

A long time passed before Twilightwing's meow interrupted the rustling silence again. "Before the StarClan Supreme Council sent me here to get you, they gave me a temporary ability. It was to help me decide where you would go after your... well, death."

Larkwing shivered. "Then what was that about the Dark Forest?" she wanted to know.

"I don't know. It's a misconception that all StarClan cats are omniscient. At most, that only applies to a few chosen ones who had a lot of influence during their lifetime." Twilightwing twitched her ears helplessly. "As for that ability, well... I was gifted with the ability to see souls. And yours is blossoming, a perfect representation of your tenacity."

Tenacity? What am I supposed to have left of that, as a ghost?

"But... there's something that worries me..." Twilightwing continued, haltingly, as if she wasn't sure what to say next. "Another flower growing. It's much smaller, a withering bud that never blossomed."

If Twilightwing hadn't said that so seriously, Larkwing would have snorted in disbelief and called her a mouse-brain. But her mind told her that she shouldn't take this lightly. "So my soul is a flower?"

Twilightwing shook her head slowly, as if she wasn't sure herself. "Not really, I guess. It's the only way to explain it for you to understand, though."

Larkwing's head seemed to pound as she tried to visualise her soul. Until just now, she hadn't even known that cats' souls could be seen! At least under certain circumstances.

A strange, gloomy expression appeared in Twilightwing's amber eyes. As if there was something else she wanted to say but couldn't. "Come on. It's not much further."

In the meantime, Ivykit had calmed down again. Now he balanced on their mother's back and stretched out his twitching nose towards Larkwing.

Painfully, Larkwing realised what Twilightwing had told her earlier. She couldn't touch them yet. At that very moment, the tortico she-cat felt such a longing for affection that she almost tensed up.

At least they can touch each other, Larkwing realised a little bitterly. Maybe I can, too, once I've arrived in StarClan.

Her body — or rather the image of it — was shaken by a violent fit of trembling. She really was gone. Never again would she feel the wind ruffling her pelt. Never again would she be able to sunbathe next to the waterfall in the camp. Never again would she be able to get upset about mud on her snow-white paws.

She would never see Bramblepaw, Shadowpaw and Mistpaw pass their final assessments. She would never be able to share a squirrel with Amberhaze again.

She had left Lakepelt, even though she had promised him she would come back.

Larkwing couldn't hold back a sob. She clenched her fangs together and still it didn't help. Her gaze blurred as she began to wail uncontrollably.

Twilightwing looked at her worriedly. "Is everything alright?"

No! What should be all right? I've left everyone who was important to me! But instead of losing her nerve again, Larkwing collapsed to the ground. The grass felt like ice. An unpleasant feeling that made her realise even more strongly that there was no going back.

"I can't leave Lakepelt alone," she whispered, not even knowing where she could find the strength to speak. Every word was like a stone in her throat. "We've only just found each other."

Besides, he's guaranteed to go crazy without me. Larkwing didn't say that out loud, though. She knew exactly how Reedclaw's death had completely changed Lakepelt back then, and how Goldenshadow's demise had exacerbated that. Her instincts told her that Twilightwing wouldn't approve of her love for Lakepelt if she knew what kind of cat he was.

Unexpectedly, she felt a touch on her front paw. Very lightly, as if a blade of grass was brushing against her, but it was enough to draw her attention to Ivykit. Wordlessly, the tiny tomkit lay before her, looking up at her with dark blue eyes.

Despite the fact that he was less than half a day old when he died, Larkwing had the impression that her littermate understood more of her pain than he gave the impression of. She forced a faint purr to show him that she was grateful for his concern. Only real words wouldn't come out of her mouth.

Now Twilightwing stepped closer to her. "Dear, I want you to look at something. It's probably going to be a big shock for you, but remember, I'm here with you. No matter what happens, I'll always be with you."

Larkwing only sniffled in response. She was sure that nothing could shock her anymore. She had already lost everything that was important to her.

With the tip of her tail, Twilightwing pointed to something shiny in the grass beside her. "Look inside," she said simply.

Larkwing stretched her head forward in wonder to take a closer look at the strange phenomenon. It was a puddle. Dark shadows flitted around in it, reminiscent of cats with a lot of imagination.

"That wasn't there before, was it?" She looked questioningly at Twilightwing.

"Things happen in StarClan that aren't possible in the world of the living."

Like puddles that suddenly appear even though it's not raining? Larkwing refrained from saying that, though. She didn't necessarily want to be disrespectful to StarClan.

As Twilightwing wanted, Larkwing crouched down at the edge of the water, her gaze fixated expectantly on the grey surface. Some time passed and nothing happened.

Discouraged, she flattened her ears. "I don't understand. What am I supposed to—"

That's when she saw it.

The swirling shadows formed into a cat. She seemed to have fallen into a deep sleep. Her whole body was covered in thick layers of cobwebs and healing poultices, hiding her fur underneath. Nevertheless, Larkwing was struck by a flash of realisation.

A gasp escaped her and she stumbled away from the puddle. "But... h-how? I... This can't be—" She took a deep breath and tried to somehow organise her thoughts. "If that's me... But I died! Why are precious medicinal herbs being wasted on me? Other cats genuinely need them!"

"Larkwing." Twilightwing put a paw on her shoulder. "The truth is: you're not dead. You're just balancing on a very fine branch between life and death. There are so many cats who have been so critically injured that only their body's stamina could decide their fate. But in your case, there's another reason why your heart is still beating."

The StarClan queen didn't say why. Nor did she have to. Even so, Larkwing understood. "You mean because of this... this..." She searched feverishly for the right description. "Well, because of this anomaly in my soul, right?"

Her thoughts were racing like crazy. I'm still alive! Somehow. Unless my body suddenly gives up. "I don't understand why—"

She faltered in mid-sentence.

Some Shadowless can't just be killed like that. Coldness crept into her fur. By my whiskers and tail, is the only reason I'm still alive the fact that I'm a Shadowless?

"Wait a moment. If only a part of my soul is afflicted with the shadowlessness, does that mean I'm only half shadowless?" she spoke her astonishment aloud.

"It's not your soul that's afflicted," Twilightwing corrected, "but the second soul in you that never developed properly."

Larkwing stared at her in bewilderment. "How can I have two souls inside me? That makes as much sense as a mouse in a tree."

"As I said, StarClan cats aren't omniscient," Twilightwing replied.

No way! I thought you'd even know how long each cat takes on the dirtplace! Larkwing took another look into the puddle. It was crazy, just unbelievable, looking down at herself.

I'm still alive! I have to get back into my body somehow!

All at once she felt as if she were on fire. It wasn't an agonising, destructive fire, but one that expressed all her determination to return and the prospect of finally having Lakepelt back with her.

"I have to get out of here!" she meowed without taking her eyes off the puddle. "Tell me, is there any way for me to get back into my body?"

A shadow flitted across Twilightwing's eyes, but she remained silent.

Larkwing had to pull herself together to keep from howling. "Please! I have to go back to Lakepelt! I can't bear the thought of leaving him alone now of all times! And—"

"But Lark," Twilightwing whispered. "Why do you want to go back to the tom who tried to kill you?"