Forgive me, StarClan. Please.

Without turning back even once, Larkwing ran back to the camp. She didn't think the rain had let up or the fog had lifted. Quite the opposite, in fact.

So she had no choice but to rely on her hearing to find her way. The howling was omnipresent and pierced her to the core.

Hang in there, she thought. I'll be there soon. Just a little longer...

Where was she anyway? She came to an abrupt halt. Her breath was shallow and rapid as she tried to make out something through the impenetrable grey of the fog.

Had she even gotten any closer to the camp? Or had she been running in circles the whole time? Panic rose involuntarily within her.

"Okay, okay, calm down. It'll be fine... somehow," she whispered to herself.

The most important thing was not to lose her nerve now. This forest wasn't infinitely large. Sooner or later, she had to come across the camp.

Out of nowhere, she heard a hissing sound nearby. She paused, turning her ears in all directions to determine its origin.

When another hiss cut through the air, she rushed off. There had to be other cats somewhere around here. If she was lucky, they would be her patrolmates or the ruins cats. Even if she encountered Shadowless, that would be fine with her, because it would mean she wasn't far from the battle.

Next to the stream, she finally came across Leafwind, who was busy fending off two shadowless cats. Their attack patterns were fast, relentless and admirably synchronised. A single cat would not be able to hold out against them for long. But even as a MoonClan warrior, Leafwind was tough enough to hold back the Shadowless.

Nevertheless, Larkwing rushed forward and sank her teeth into the hind leg of one of the Shadowless. Two against one was the most unfair and risky thing that could happen in a fight. Moreover, Leafwind was only half the size and weight of his opponents, and if his stamina and attention ever waned, the Shadowless would have an easy time of it.

With a delayed reaction, the shadowless tom noticed the she-cat hanging from his hind leg with her fangs. He turned away from Leafwind and spun around, trying to shake off Larkwing.

Her fangs released from his flesh. For a moment, the Shadowless paused. Confusion was visible in his glowing yellow eyes.

Other Shadowless will see you as one of them. Great StarClan, is there really any truth to this?

Larkwing pressed her ears to her head and leapt at the shadowless tom, letting out a yowl that made even her tremble.

Aren't the ruins cats all very small and thin? How is it that these Shadowless are as broad as trees? Larkwing quickly realised that the Shadowless wasn't wavering at all. She pulled herself onto his back and held on with her hind legs while she relentlessly mauled his body with her front claws.

"Larkwing!" Leafwind meowed in surprise, staring at her with green-golden eyes as if she were a ghost.

The shadowless she-cat, whom he had been fighting until just a moment ago, took advantage of his inattention and aimed for his neck.

"You better watch out!" Larkwing hissed harshly. She reflexively narrowed her eyes, fearing that Shadowless might hurt her foster brother after all.

When she opened them again, she was relieved to see that Leafwind was the one pressing the shadowless she-cat to the ground.

Relief washed over Larkwing like a cold wave. "Don't let her get near you!" she meowed loudly over the pattering rain. "And don't let her escape!"

With a flick of his tail, Leafwind signalled that he understood.

Filled with burning hatred, Larkwing tore open the Shadowless's skin. Every pain-filled cry he uttered was a sign for her to hurt him even more.

I don't want to be like you, do you hear me? Her claws tore gashes in the tom's ears. I will never be like you!

A meow reached her ears — distant, insignificant. At that moment, Larkwing was overcome by a flood of her emotions. Without thinking twice, she dug her fangs into the unprotected throat of the shadowless tom until his paws gave way beneath him and he fell dead to the ground.

Larkwing left him lying there and pushed Leafwind aside. She paid no attention to his meowing.

Forgive me, StarClan.

She rose on her hind legs and, with several quick blows, also tore the throat of the shadowless she-cat until she no longer moved.

Satisfaction flowed through Larkwing — and immediately afterwards she tensed up. That had not been her true self. The shadowless part of her had regained control.

But the Shadowless must die, a voice whispered inside her. Stop closing your eyes to the truth. There is no way to save them.

"Larkwing, what... what have you done?"

Leafwind stared at her motionless, horror in his dark, dilated pupils.

"What was necessary," Larkwing growled. "Come on, we'd better get out of here in case they come back to life."

Leafwind didn't need to be told twice. He had already disappeared into the fog. Larkwing suppressed a curse and followed him.

Once she had caught up with him, she stayed close to him so as not to lose sight of him again. "Do you have any idea what the situation is like in the camp?" she gasped as she dodged suddenly appearing roots and bushes.

"No. When it started, some of us were driven out of the camp by the Shadowless," Leafwind replied. "They probably think they can weaken us that way."

"Probably."

"I don't like that they can now plan ahead." Leafwind sounded tense.

Larkwing silently agreed with him. Could it have something to do with the fact that Sunray was the one who had infected them all? After all, she was a special kind of Shadowless. Maybe that's the reason why these Shadowless are so different.

Larkwing continued to listen intently to the howling. The further she ran, the clearer it became. Apparently, they were on the right track.

Hopefully, the others were okay. Without paying attention to Leafwind, Larkwing quickened her pace. It was almost torture to be out here, not knowing how her companions were doing.

Finally, the slope leading down to the camp appeared, and without stopping, Larkwing rushed down it.

She only stopped when she almost tripped over something. Upon closer inspection, this something turned out to be a dead cat — Trout.

His eyes stared blankly and glazed at the sky. Between his still unsheathed claws hung black fur that could not have belonged to him. It looked as if he had tried to defend himself, but in vain.

Larkwing bowed her head before him to pay her last respects before continuing on to the camp. A black tom emerged from the fog, his muzzle contorted into a hiss.

Isn't that Agate? Larkwing jumped aside to dodge him. She could still remember exactly how Agate had been worried about Blaze when she became a Shadowless.

But now Agate was also shadowless and thus Larkwing's enemy. She lunged forward and battered his lower abdomen with powerful punches and kicks.

However, this turned out to be a mistake. Unexpectedly, Agate dropped onto her.

Help! Larkwing tried to wriggle out from under him. Her mouth was full of fur, her lungs felt as if they were about to burst, and she couldn't breathe properly.

The next moment, the pressure on her lungs disappeared as Redleaf pulled Agate away from her. She immediately took a deep breath, which was immediately followed by a violent coughing fit. Her ribs felt as if they had been bent unnaturally. Nevertheless, she got back on her paws, ignoring the pain, and rushed to Redleaf's aid.

The transformation into a Shadowless must have made Agate physically stronger and more battle-hardened than before. However, even he had no chance against the merciless attack combinations of a deputy with countless moons of experience and a RoseClan warrior who had finally learnt not to hold back in battle.

With her ears flattened, Larkwing dodged Agate's swirling front paws and rushed around him to drag her claws across the back of his hind legs. At the same time, Redleaf sank his teeth into his shoulder, preventing Agate from launching a counterattack.

Again and again, when Larkwing's claws pierced his skin, Agate threw his head back with a pitiful meow. Finally, he shook off Redleaf and rushed towards the exit, leaving a trail of blood drops behind him.

A monotonous whisper sounded in Larkwing's ears. "Retreat. Retreat. Retreat."

Half scared to death, she flinched. Redleaf looked at her with his head tilted. "You are a good fighter," he meowed. "However, you should keep in mind that not all Shadowless can be driven away so easily. It's better to stick with someone."

Larkwing flicked her tail to show she understood. The next moment, Redleaf had disappeared again and she stood alone, surrounded by the fighting cats, whom she could hear but not see.

Redleaf was right. Just because Agate had fled didn't necessarily mean that all the other Shadowless would give up so easily.

Where was Lakepelt anyway? With Redleaf's instructions in mind, the tortico narrowed her eyes and tried to make out the black tabby and white fur of her platonic mate in the fog.

StarClan, if you really are so almighty, why don't you just blow this stupid fog away? Larkwing twitched her tail irritably and felt her way forward.

Maybe she would find Lakepelt at the nursery. It was definitely worth a try. As Larkwing tried to get her bearings, a ball of swirling paws and tails suddenly rolled past her. She was just able to dodge it.

"You mouse-brain, why are you standing around here instead of fighting?" she growled to herself. For the duration of a heartbeat, Trout's lifeless body appeared before her inner eye. Her fur bristled with the feeling of countless ants running between the hairs.

Damn you, Shadowless!

There, not far from her, a Shadowless who seemed to be standing around indecisively. Larkwing could clearly sense her presence, her position in the camp.

Are you looking for an opponent? Baring her fangs, Larkwing followed her instinct, which would lead her to the Shadowless.

And there she stood, her orange and white spotted fur ruffled, her green eyes glowing in the darkness of this moonless night, already focussed on Larkwing, as if she knew she was coming. Visibly nervous, she licked her lips and her paws twitched.

"Shadowless? Not Shadowless?" The soundless voice hissed through Larkwing's mind.

"Not Shadowless." Larkwing lunged at her and pushed her back.

The Shadowless staggered slightly. Traitor!, her angry gaze seemed to say as her front paw shot forward and she dragged her claws across Larkwing's right shoulder.

Larkwing flinched and suppressed a yelp. Even though the Shadowless hadn't quite penetrated her thick fur, she still felt the burning pain of the wound on her skin.

Don't you dare call me a traitor when I was never on your side. Before Larkwing was fully aware of what she was doing, she raised a front paw, claws spread wide, and swiped it across the Shadowless's face.

For a moment, the orange and white she-cat did not move. Then her whole body began to twitch, and finally she threw her head back and opened her mouth wide in a terrible, tortured scream.

Something deep inside Larkwing stirred. Stop! This isn't right! This isn't you!

Breathing heavily, Larkwing stared at the Shadowless with narrowed eyes. Her left eye was tightly shut. Red streaks of blood ran across her eyelid and down her nose.

Please snap out of it! That's the shadowless part of you. But you mustn't give in! Otherwise it will take more and more possession of you until you lose yourself completely.

Larkwing flinched slightly. It was a strange voice, one she had never heard before. It seemed to belong to a she-cat, as bright and clear as raindrops pattering on a calm water surface. Its sound filled Larkwing with warmth — no, with love, more love than she had ever felt in her entire life.

Who was it that spoke to her? A StarClan cat? Larkwing's heart beat faster with anticipation. Twilightwing? Is that you?

Remember who you really are, the mysterious she-cat urged her. Come on, you can do it. I believe in you, my little warrior.

Suddenly, it was as if Larkwing was standing apart from the others, in a bubble, opaque and soundproof, alone with the Shadowless and the gentle yet urgent voice in her head.

As if caught in a trance, Larkwing's gaze wandered to the Shadowless. She stood there strangely crooked, one paw holding her pain-contorted face. She seemed to have forgotten that Larkwing was still there.

"It was me. I did this to you," Larkwing whispered, her chest tight.

The sight of the now one-eyed cat would surely haunt her in her nightmares. Just as Sunray's disfigured face had haunted her.

Larkwing felt a barely noticeable touch on her flank, as if someone were stroking it with their tail. When she looked around, however, she saw no one.

That's good. Don't let it get to you. You are stronger than...

Suddenly, Larkwing's head began to ache, more intensely than ever before. The voice had abruptly stopped, the warming feeling of love disappeared. 

Instead, Larkwing's soul turned to ice, her heart to stone.

She crouched down, her gaze fixed on the Shadowless. "My claws into her throat," she whispered.

Then she attacked the Shadowless, pressing her to the ground. The orange and white spotted cat did not resist, her green eyes empty, as if to say: You are just like me. Like all of us. A Shadowless.

"I'm not—" Larkwing forced the words out of her mouth, her voice dark, rough and scratchy.

Yes. She's absolutely right. I am a Shadowless. With this thought in mind, she tore the orange and white cat's throat until her white chest and paws were stained with dark speckles of blood. Until she was sure that the Shadowless would never move again.

Only then did the imaginary bubble around her disappear and she heard the yowling and hissing of the fighting cats around her again.

Number six. The number repeated itself over and over in her mind. Her eyes rested on the Shadowless. She was my sixth victim. The sixth cat I killed.

Larkwing shuffled aimlessly on. The relentless rain continued to pour down on her, making her shiver, but the blood staining her fur could not be washed away.

Where are you, Lakepelt? I need you. She trudged on. Again and again, she could make out distorted silhouettes in the fog. But she no longer felt the urge to fight. All that mattered to her now was finding Lakepelt. She wanted to see him, feel his soft, warm fur, breathe in his familiar scent. Then everything would surely be better again.

A desperate cry tore Larkwing from her thoughts. She flinched. Crowshadow?

She rushed off, guided by the hair-raising howl of the black she-cat. Her hearing led her straight to the nursery. She could just make out the tip of a tail disappearing into the greyness, her instinct telling her that it was definitely a shadowless cat trying to gain access to the den.

Oh no, you wouldn't dare! An image of Phoebe, Amaranth and Crystal appeared in Larkwing's mind's eye, huddled together and trembling as they faced their death. She lunged forward, baring her fangs to snap at the shadowless cat.

She landed on the floor with a painful thud; she had obviously misjudged her jump. A high-pitched meow came from the nursery, whereupon Larkwing scrambled back onto her paws as quickly as possible and ran off.

She didn't get far. Claws dug deep into her tail and pulled her back abruptly. Immediately, pain shot through her spine, so intense that she was paralysed for a heartbeat.

Something heavy landed on her, causing her legs to give way beneath her like thin twigs, and she fell to the ground again. A gasp escaped her as her head was pressed into the wet grass. The pungent, cold smell of blood filled her nostrils, so intense that she could smell nothing else.

Claws tore open her flanks, piercing her thick fur until she could feel something warm and sticky running down her body.

Help! Larkwing opened her mouth wide. She wanted to scream, but something prevented her from doing so. With every beat of her heart, it became harder and harder for her to breathe. A coughing fit overcame her, her lungs and ribs feeling as if they were being crushed by a huge stone.

The shadowless cat continued to injure Larkwing's flanks. Every time a tuft of fur was torn out, she flinched violently. Doesn't anyone notice that I'm in trouble?, she thought desperately.

She hated to admit it, but she didn't stand a chance. No matter how much strength she mustered, she didn't move a whisker's breadth.

When the shadowless cat finally let go of her, Larkwing almost didn't notice. It was only when she instinctively sucked in a deep breath of life-saving air that she realised her chance.

Filled with determination and the will to survive, she spun around. She couldn't recognise who had attacked her so treacherously. He looked much bigger and more muscular than her, and his entire fur was soaked in blood, so she couldn't see its actual colour.

Larkwing felt nauseous. Great StarClan, these Shadowless just won't give up.

Although she was aware that she was much weaker, she rushed forward and rammed her head into the Shadowless's chest.

To her surprise, this actually knocked her opponent off balance. But she didn't let that deter her. It was a trap, she could almost smell it.

"Congratulations, you're my seventh victim," she hissed, just before she threw herself at him. She no longer cared about doing what she once thought was the only right thing to do. All that mattered to her now was to decimate the Shadowless as best she could.

What would Lakepelt think of me if he saw me like this? Holding her breath, Larkwing raised her front paws and spread her claws wide, a few drops of the blood of the Shadowless she had just killed falling onto the chest fur of the massive tom beneath her.

Lakepelt would want her to survive, no matter what she had to do. And she wanted to live. There was still so much in this world that she had to do.

With the warming hope that she would soon be able to return to Lakepelt, Larkwing wanted to dig her claws deep into the neck of the shadowless tom. However, as soon as the tips penetrated his thick fur, he suddenly clasped her neck with his front legs. Before she realised what he was up to, a violent kick to her lower abdomen catapulted her across the camp.

She landed hard, neck first, and gradually her vision went black. The spot where she had been kicked burnt intensely.

She tried in vain to get up, but the pain was so unbearable that she was paralysed.

A frightened squeak escaped her as the shadowless tom reappeared and pounced on her. "No—"

Her initially weak protest ended in a long howl as the wound on her lower abdomen was torn open further. She flinched reflexively, causing a gush of blood to spurt from her body.

Damn it... Why can't I fight back anymore?

Without making a sound, the shadowless tom dug his claws into Larkwing's body and rolled across the camp, clinging tightly to her. Every time he inflicted another injury on her, she gasped for air, feeling as if she could not breathe properly.

Several times, the shadowless tom threw her off him again, until she wondered why all her bones weren't broken yet, and then he pounced on her again.

Larkwing was only vaguely aware of her surroundings. She heard other cats still in the midst of battle, but through all the fog and rain she couldn't see anyone. Just as no one could see her.

The shadowless tom continued to attack her — tearing open her flanks and lower abdomen, throwing her off and pouncing on her again. An endless repetition of a torturous nightmare in waking life.

Larkwing had long since given up crying for help. She barely had the strength to open her mouth, let alone move a single paw.

I'm dying! The realisation struck her like a bolt of lightning. I'm really dying!

She wanted to shake off the Shadowless. At some point, he had to be exhausted. That would be her chance to free herself.

She didn't want to die. She couldn't leave Lakepelt. Her death would destroy him for good.

Anger swelled inside her, making her forget all the terrible pain for a tiny moment. "Let me go!" she screamed shrilly. "I swear, otherwise I'll kill y—"

Her scream was suddenly stifled as they rolled down a slope. Soaking wet leaves and broken twigs landed in her mouth. She coughed and spat them out, causing more blood to spurt from her injuries.

She felt dizzy. She had no idea which way was up or down. Her sense of smell seemed to have left her, and she could no longer see anything, though she was not sure whether her eyes were open or closed.

I'm dying... I'm dying... I'm dying...

An icy fear gripped her. But it was cowardly to fear death. She had given her best in life, and now it was time for her to go. 

I'm so sorry, Lakepelt. Larkwing could feel her heart beating slower and slower. I didn't want to leave you like this.

She barely noticed her head being bent back. She didn't flinch when claws dug into her chin and were pulled down with a jerk. Then again, and a third time.

Strange... Why didn't it hurt? With every weak breath her body could still manage, Larkwing felt as if she were suffocating. Her lungs felt as if air were escaping through huge holes, causing them to collapse.

But at the same time, it was as if she had merely stepped on a sharp stone. A pain that was only bad for the moment and would soon be forgotten.

Leaves rustled. At least, that's what Larkwing thought. Her hearing was the only thing that still worked, although it would surely soon fail her too. Just like her life force.

"Larky? No, no, no... Larky... You can't just die now!"

Lakepelt? Larkwing opened her eyes wide. "I'm fine! See?" she meowed pleadingly.

To her despair, Lakepelt didn't twitch an ear, showing no sign at all that he had heard her. His light blue eyes were dull and empty, his fur strangely clean, as if he had never taken part in the fight.

Then he was gone again. Darkness surrounded Larkwing. "Where did you go?" she mewed.

Her voice was lost in the void. She was alone, would die alone here.

Something soft pressed against her, she felt a cold, damp touch at the base of her ear, and the familiar scent of her beloved platonic mate flooded her nose.

This isn't real. He's not really here. Just a hallucination.

"You can't do this to me. What am I supposed to do without you?" The words were barely audible, chopped, piercing Larkwing like sharp thorns.

At that moment, Larkwing thought she saw swirling spots of light hovering above her. StarClan had come to take her away. Maybe they would grant her a place among them. Maybe they would forgive her for her deeds.

I love you so much. I am so glad I met you. But now you must go on without me. You can do that, can't you? And please look after Amberhaze and Bramblepaw for me, will you? I... I can't bear to leave you. But I know that one day we will meet again. I will wait for you, no matter how long it takes.

Her heart beat one last time — and Larkwing was dead.

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*peeks through gap* hello... I figured I just can't let this chapter end without an explanation, soooo...

I know this is a big shock for you. The protagonist dying in the middle of the story isn't really common — and maybe even a sign of bad writing?

Believe me, it was hard writing this. I even cried a bit, even though I never cry while writing. But I promise it all happened for a reason.