The closer new moon came, the more Larkwing regretted not having killed Sunray.

A few days had passed since she had told the cats about the golden spotted she-cat's terrible plan, but it seemed to her that they weren't really making any progress in their preparations for the battle. While the ruin toms now regularly patrolled the border of the forest to their old camp to make sure Sunray and her Shadowless didn't show up prematurely, she and the other Clan cats were busy from dawn to dusk teaching the she-cats how to fight.

The first few training sessions were a disaster, to say the least. Larkwing couldn't even count on all her claws anymore how many times she had been on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Again and again she had to explain the simplest rules to the ruin she-cats, such as which parts of their bodies they had to protect at all times, or how they could dodge most effectively without losing their balance.

Part of Larkwing could understand that they felt uncomfortable. Not only were their opponents their former campmates, family members and friends, but it would also be the first battle of their lives that they would have to take part in. At the same time, the she-cats' unwillingness to accept the new reality irritated her. It was heartless, she was more than aware of that, and inwardly she was ashamed of it.

She had often wondered if it was because she was changing. There were moments when she felt as she always had. Especially when she was with Lakepelt, she felt nothing but happiness that drowned any doubts and fears. But every sunset, when she settled into her nest, she didn't find sleep for a long time, no matter how exhausted she was.

Then she felt as if something was wrong with her. As if she was stuck in a false body that gave her no freedom of movement. Sometimes she even had the impression that she was sharing her body with another soul, which was slowly pushing her away bit by bit.

But that wasn't the worst of it. Again and again she thought she heard a voice. It sounded whispery and as if it was coming from several throats. She hadn't been able to filter out any clear words yet. Nevertheless, one thing was clear: it was calling for her, wanting her to come to an unknown place.

Moreover, she was becoming increasingly belligerent. Or so she thought. During battle training, there were always moments when she had to resist the strong urge to unsheathe her claws. At irregular intervals, it became so extreme that she had brief, yet terrifyingly intense delusions in which she wanted to attack the nearest cat and slash their throat.

Sometimes it was almost unbearable, so she simply fled without warning and crawled away to a quiet place until she calmed down again. Like now. In the middle of a training session with Lavender and Topaz, she had almost injured the latter. If Topaz hadn't screamed in horror at that moment and kicked Larkwing's chin with her hind legs out of reflex, she would probably have ended up in the medicine cat's den with a critical wound.

Now Larkwing was lying high up in a forked branch that supported her back, staring motionlessly into the distance. How long she had been here, she didn't know. In any case, the sun had not yet set.

"I bet they're whispering about me," she grumbled to herself. "It's like she's possessed. She even wanted to scratch me! Shouldn't we kick her out instead?"

She twitched the tip of her tail in exasperation. Why did her life have to be so complicated all of a sudden?

A crackling sound reached her ear, far away, but enough to make her flinch. There was at least one cat running through the forest below her, and if they looked up, they would see Larkwing.

Carefully, the tortico she-cat turned around on the fork of the branch and balanced back to the trunk into the denser foliage. Perhaps they were already looking for her.

I can't possibly look them in the eye as if nothing had happened. Larkwing's stomach seemed to twist with fear. I'm sure they realise that something is wrong with me. And then they won't be satisfied with a paltry excuse like 'I'm nervous'. No normal cat has violent fantasies when they're nervous.

"The transformation will soon begin for you too." Distorted, as if they were from a nightmare, Sunray's last words to Larkwing replayed in her head.

Suddenly she felt icy cold, as if she were turning to frost. She had to stop thinking about it. Otherwise it would get worse. Otherwise she would never get better.

"I'm not a Shadowless." Between painfully clenched fangs, she pressed out the mantra, hoping it reinforced its credibility when she wasn't just thinking it silently.

But the evidence that it was a lie was undeniable. She was gradually turning into a Shadowless. Out of nowhere, an increasing urge to fight — that was exactly what the Shadowless were known for. They were never given a reason to hate the Clans so much that they attacked them just like that. They appeared just like that, brought LaurelClan to their side and kept the clans in suspense ever since.

It horrified Larkwing how similar she already was to them. She wasn't like that in reality and didn't want to be.

Dejected, she leaned her head against the tree trunk. She wouldn't be able to put up with this secrecy for too much longer. It was a burden that was slowly but surely destroying her mentally. If only she could confide in someone!

After a while, she realised that it had become quiet again. She turned her ears alertly and listened for pawsteps that stirred up the dead leaves on the ground. As soon as she was sure that no one was around, she carefully slid down the trunk. On the last branch, she checked the air once more and peered at the surrounding undergrowth before jumping down.

She wasn't ready to return to camp just yet. The feeling of shame was too great. So she decided to wander aimlessly, hoping that her restless thoughts would eventually disappear of their own accord.

In between, she happened to run into a vole, which Larkwing caught and spontaneously ate. For a moment, the word 'Shadowless' had disappeared from her mind, but when she realised this, it returned even more intensely than before.

Did all cats who became Shadowless go through the same thing? She lowered her gaze to her paws, under which her claws were already starting to twitch again. No one had ever seen a cat go shadowless before. Until recently, they hadn't even known how exactly it happened or why.

Larkwing wanted answers. Small at first, the urge grew until her head seemed to be pounding with unanswered questions.

When Sunray comes back to take revenge on me for her lost sight, she'll talk. About everything concerning the Shadowless. A tingle ran through Larkwing's pelt. And I will take revenge on her in turn for the fact that my life is being destroyed.

Once again, she was overcome with the desire to leave immediately and search for Sunray. The fact that the horrible she-cat was still alive after everything she had done made her sick.

Then she suddenly remembered that there might be a way to find Sunray.

Nevertheless, doubts plagued Larkwing. After the first — and last — time she had seen Sunray in her mind, it hadn't happened again, and because of all the stress, she had never had the chance to try on purpose.

All right, let's do this. Larkwing closed her eyes and took a few deep breaths. Soon after, she felt strangely relaxed, yet empty at the same time, as if she herself was an endless gaping hole into which every thought was disappearing.

After days of barely giving a thought to Sunray's appearance, it was a little difficult to visualise her at first. But Larkwing didn't have to make her whole image appear before her inner eye. The scratched, closed eyelids encrusted with dark, dry blood that belonged to a wafting cat silhouette were enough.

And then the misty shape became a real cat. Sunray's golden spotted fur was patchy and dishevelled, with crumbs of earth and remnants of withered leaves clinging to it. She obviously hadn't cleaned herself for ages.

However, she didn't seem to mind or even realise that her fur was unkempt. She stood on a ledge that jutted out from a sloping skyden and looked down.

In the tall grass at the base of the skyden, the ruin cats she had manipulated skulked about. But they were... different. Their movements were stiff and seemed unusually controlled. They didn't meow. They didn't even acknowledge each other.

"The Shadowtakers must be proud of me." Although Sunray's mouth was closed, her voice sounded echoing. "I bring them new subjects, and who knows, they might rob more cats of their souls."

A violent twitch shook her body. Foaming drool began to flow out from between her fangs.

In that moment, she and everything around her was swallowed by blackness. Startled, Larkwing opened her eyes — and immediately narrowed them again. It was unusually bright, as if the sun had fallen right in front of her paws.

"Have you fallen asleep here?" someone — a tom — asked. "We've been looking for you all day because you suddenly disappeared."

Gradually, Larkwing's mind returned fully to reality. In the process, her eyes also became accustomed to daylight again.

Splashfur crouched in front of her. Although 'in front of her' wasn't the most appropriate expression. He watched her from a distance of at least three tail-lengths with narrowed yellow eyes. What's more, his flanks barely moved, showing how tense he was.

Larkwing's heart sank. Great. The last thing I need is someone to be afraid of me. I'm still the same cat! At least, I hope so.

"I'm really sorry. If I knew what was wrong with me, I'd tell you," she sighed.

For some reason, it felt good not to be alone anymore, even if it was just Splashfur. Despite all the time they had spent together, Larkwing didn't consider him a friend, but now that he was here, she actually felt a little bit better.

A thought occurred to her. Maybe Splashfur would understand her. Back when LaurelClan was taken over by the Shadowless, he had also turned to her and Amberhaze, and was able to escape the Shadowless, at least for a while. She just had to open her mouth...

"Listen, you have to pull yourself together," Splashfur meowed energetically. "It's not long until new moon, and we have to be prepared by then. Besides, we don't know how the Shadowless will behave this time."

"I know, I—" The words stuck in Larkwing's throat like sharp thorns as a wave of panic washed over her.

Oh mousedung! I can't possibly tell him that I'm becoming a Shadowless! They took almost everything from him. How could I be so stupid as to think that he would even begin to understand me? 

As quickly as it had flared up, the tiny flame of hope died again. Instead, Larkwing felt like a pitiful heap of ashes. No one would want anything to do with her if they found out what she was. She was alone.

"You'd better go back to camp now." Splashfur gave her a sceptical look. "I think one group still needs to be checked for progress today."

Larkwing nodded numbly and trotted off, her tail dragging. After a few steps, she stopped when she noticed that Splashfur wasn't following her. "Aren't you coming?"

Splashfur shook his head. "I thought I'd do some hunting before the sun goes down."

"Oh. Okay. See you later, then." Without waiting for a reply, Larkwing set off at a trot. Once she was sure she had put enough distance between herself and Splashfur, she broke into a run. The wind blew through her thick fur. By now, her paws carried her naturally through the once unfamiliar forest.

Her gut feeling told her that the hunting was just a white lie. Obviously, Splashfur didn't want to go back to camp with her, a future monster.

The news that she had unsheathed her claws during training must have spread like wildfire. And now everyone thought she couldn't control herself.

Larkwing clenched her fangs together until it hurt. Stop it! Stop thinking about it! You're only making it worse.

When the entrance to the camp came into view, she stopped abruptly and took a few deep, shaky breaths. Her nose picked up the scent of several cats, which promptly filled her with intense anxiety again.

I can't go down there.

Her vision darkened and the ground seemed to sway as if the forest were turning into a rippling river.

Who will still trust me? No one. Not even... She swallowed hard. Not even Lakepelt.

She wanted to howl in despair and uncertainty. Here she was, plagued by fears she never thought she would ever have. She no longer recognised herself. What had happened to the she-cat who, just a few days ago, had spontaneously challenged all the cats to fight the Shadowless? To the one who, despite her inexperience, had insisted on going on a mission beyond the Clan territories?

No. She forced herself to move closer to the camp entrance. She had to be strong enough to hide her weakness. Otherwise, the cats would become even more suspicious.

Stiff as a stick, she strutted into the camp, her head bowed, ready to face the angry mob.

But to her surprise, the camp was almost empty. Which was no wonder, as most of the cats were probably still busy with battle training.

"Watch out, Amaranth!" Phoebe meowed.

Not far from him, Amaranth and Crystal were fighting over a ball of moss. With their tails and paws swirling, they rolled across the ground. Meanwhile, Phoebe hopped around them, his dark brown tabby fur bristling so much that he resembled a hedgehog.

Larkwing stopped and watched the scene with amused twitching whiskers. Kits truly had a talent for being carefree, even in the hardest of times.

Then Phoebe paused. Raising a front paw, his amber gaze fell on Larkwing. For a moment he stopped meowing, then galloped towards her, leaping high into the air. "You know what?" he squeaked. "Topaz and Stream are thinking about—"

A hysterical yelp interrupted him abruptly. Topaz stomped towards him, ears pressed tightly against her head, closely followed by Stream.

"Stay away from her!" Stream warned in a tone as cold as frost.

"Why?" Phoebe wanted to know.

Now Amaranth and Crystal had also interrupted their game and, huddled close together, nervously glanced from Larkwing to their parents.

When Larkwing made eye contact with Topaz, she was startled by the disgust she saw there. I tried to hurt her. And I can't even explain to her why. Now she hates me.

"Phoebe!" Topaz's voice cut sharply through the air. "Come here immediately!"

Phoebe wrinkled his muzzle. "Why?" he repeated emphatically.

"Exactly," Amaranth added. "I think Larkwing has a right to know."

Know what? What's going on here?

"Listen to Topaz," Stream meowed, instead of answering Amaranth's question. "You need to learn who you can trust, and she's definitely not one of them."

Outraged, Larkwing sucked in air through clenched teeth. Before she could even think about it properly, she snapped, "It was an accident, understand? Even training always carries the risk of injury. Besides, I was the one who rescued your kits from the tree while you did nothing! Don't forget that."

Topaz twisted her muzzle sourly. "I don't know why, but you're changing, Larkwing. Either you learn to control yourself, or you stay away from all the other cats. Forever. At least then you won't put them in danger."

Her words, sharp as hawthorns, pierced deep into Larkwing's heart. Yes. It's best if I just leave. I'll run so far that no cat can follow my trail. When I'm alone, I'll never be able to hurt anyone again.

She desperately ignored the tightness in her chest caused by fear. If it was the only way, then so be it.

"Tell me that's not true!" Phoebe stared up at Larkwing imploringly. The way his short whiskers trembled was heartbreaking.

For a tiny moment, Larkwing felt the urge to lick his forehead and assure him that there was nothing to worry about.

But then she became aware again of Topaz's and Stream's hatred, which seemed to crackle in the air. She took a step back. "It is. Stay away from me if you value your life," she growled bitterly.

The last thing she saw was Phoebe's horrified expression before she spun around and strode towards the camp exit.