𝙰𝚖𝚋𝚎𝚛𝚑𝚊𝚣𝚎

There was a thick fog over the forest that morning. It hid the burning orange light of the rising sun behind a grey wall and gave the air an unpleasant dampness.

With half-closed eyes, Amberhaze lay in her nest, head resting on the edge, while all around her her denmates prepared for the dawn patrols. She, on the other paw, still felt too weak to get up. Last night had been restless, full of dark dream fragments.

I'm sure I'll sleep better again when I know where Larkwing is. Amberhaze rolled to the other side. Her little sister's hollow was bare, her scent long gone.

"Are you coming, Amberhaze?" Birchpelt meowed to her. "We've both been assigned to patrol the MoonClan border."

With a long yawn, Amberhaze tore herself away from the empty nest and stood up — a little too hastily, though, as she staggered slightly.

There was a worried glow in Birchpelt's green eyes. "Are you alright?"

Still half asleep, Amberhaze nodded. "Slept badly, that's all," she croaked.

Heat shot into her cheeks. What kind of voice is that? Of course something embarrassing like that only happens to me!

At least Birchpelt was nice enough not to flinch a whisker. "I'll wait for you outside, yeah?"

As soon as he was gone, Amberhaze dropped onto her rump. Sometimes she really could be the biggest mouse-brain. Since the last Gathering, she had experienced a change she had never thought possible. Birchpelt talked to her. He had never done that before. Amberhaze almost even assumed he didn't know of her existence, though of course that was an exaggeration.

Secretly she was happy about that, but it also overwhelmed her. Birchpelt took time for her and she wasted it right away, never being able to meow more than two words at a time without her tongue seeming to tie itself in knots.

Why he hadn't left her alone long ago was a mystery to her. Or why he, who came from such an influential family, had ever gotten involved with a low-ranking she-cat like her in the first place.

"Last night you literally destroyed your nest," Elderpelt's voice rang out. "If you continue to have trouble sleeping, you should ask Fruittail for poppy seeds."

Amberhaze turned her head towards her. The warrior with the pretty, grey-cream tabby and white fur stood next to her hollow and licked her chest fur. She, on the other paw, looked as fit as if she could circle the entire territory. No wonder, since she was usually one of the first to go to sleep at night.

We both miss a littermate, Amberhaze remembered. I wonder if Elderpelt worries as much about Lakepelt as I do about Larkwing, or does she have more faith in him?

Amberhaze shook her head briefly. "Thanks, but I don't think I need that," she replied, and added in her mind, Fruittail should better not waste her herbs on me.

Without waiting for a reaction from her older Clanmate, the dark reddish-golden tabby she-cat slipped through a narrow gap in the bramble wall.

She was assigned to a border patrol. How utterly boring. Secretly, Amberhaze wished Honeyclaw had put her in one of the hunting patrols. Then she could concentrate on hunting and let go of her restless thoughts.

But now, as she felt the numerous tiny drops of mist wetting her thick pelt, she was a little glad. No matter how good her sense of smell was, it had its limits, and right now she was having trouble smelling anything at all.

Amberhaze slid down the hill. The tips of the long grass glistened from the morning dew. She stopped at the pool and dipped her muzzle into the water.

On the other side, she could see Wavesplash, who had settled in front of the elders' den and was cleaning her flank. She looked thin and frail, and it seemed to Amberhaze that her muzzle had turned even whiter.

Amberhaze's gaze continued to wander to the nursery. Reddapple and Ravenleap were sitting in front of the thorny shrubbery. It had surprised the whole Clan when it had turned out that Reddapple was pregnant. Even now there was hardly anything to see, but according to Fruittail, it only had to be a matter of days before the birth began.

Bringing kits into the world during this time could be a big risk. But Amberhaze was also looking forward to them. Kits were the heart of every Clan, and every future warrior, every future medicine cat, helped them keep their strength.

Maybe one day she would have kits of her own, once the nightmare with the Shadowless was over. Amberhaze imagined little kits scurrying around her paws. Maybe one of them would have her pelt colour or her eye colour. She would love them and watch over them like they were the most precious thing in the world.

Someone called her name. Amberhaze shook the drops from her whiskers and hurried to the Birchtunnel. Her patrolmates had already gathered there. Toadleap was leading them today. There were also Birchpelt, Elderpelt, Rainsplash, Silversky, Bramblepaw and Blossompaw.

Fernpool, who was leading the border patrol to the topmost Foreign Lands, just trotted past them, her cats in tow. Mottletail walked at the very end. As she passed Amberhaze, the dark reddish-brown speckled she-cat gave her a sinister look.

Amberhaze turned her head away. Mottletail was angry with her and she couldn't even blame her. All she wanted was to help Amberhaze make friends. Instead, Amberhaze had always run away.

Tail drooping, she fell in line at the back as the patrol left camp. I just want to belong and have someone I know I can trust. Just like them, she thought gloomily as she noticed how close Bramblepaw and Blossompaw were running together, their muzzles close to each other, mewing softly.

Out of curiosity, Amberhaze turned her ears forward and listened to their conversation.

"Do you think MoonClan has recovered from the battle yet?" Bramblepaw whispered.

"I hardly think so," Blossompaw replied just as quietly. "After all, Hailstar became a Shadowless, if you can believe the words. I think we'd have a hard time, too, if something like that happened to Palestar. Not that such a thing will ever happen. Because we are prepared."

Rainsplash whirled around and hissed at the apprentices. "Concentrate on your duty instead of croaking around like frogs and spreading rumours!" Her eyes blazed like a blue fire.

"Don't get yourself worked up. We're still a long way from the river," Toadleap intervened. Both his tone and his posture were tense.

Now Rainsplash turned her burning gaze to the small, black tom. "Are you going to let them get away with this?" she growled, her grey and white tabby fur bristling. "If I were you, I'd tell Frostshade and Mothspark about their brazen behaviour."

Toadleap's green eyes widened in horror. "That's completely exaggerated—"

"I expected better from you," Rainsplash hissed over her shoulder. "Especially from you, Bramblepaw. At your age, you should know when it's time to stop. If you hadn't decided to train as a medicine cat at the beginning just for the fun of it, you'd be a warrior by now. So act like one too!"

Tail lashing, Blossompaw pushed herself protectively in front of Bramblepaw and returned Rainsplash's angry gaze from dark green eyes. "Leave her alone! We were only talking for a very, very short time."

Immediately afterwards, the light brown tabby she-cat with the bushy, dark red tail dodged away when Rainsplash swatted at her. "It was to be expected of you that you wouldn't realise your mistake." Her voice dripped with scorn. "Being a rogue like that. I always knew it wasn't a good idea to take in your kind. You're nothing but scum."

Dismayed, Amberhaze drew in a breath between clenched fangs. By all means of it, Rainsplash had gone completely insane. All that mattered was loyalty to the Clan, not one's past!

Trembling, Bramblepaw peeked out from behind Blossompaw. "But I'm actually a rogue too," she whispered timidly.

"True, and that's bad enough. At least you were born in the Clan," Rainsplash promptly hurled at her.

At that moment, Elderpelt sprang forward and swiped at her with her claws unsheathed. "That's enough!" she hissed, her paws trembling. "They didn't do anything wrong, and even if they did, it's not up to you to punish them. Let's see what Palestar has to say about your behaviour. She certainly won't be pleased that you're threatening apprentices."

Rainsplash froze for a moment, whereupon Bramblepaw dashed to Silversky and pressed herself against his flank.

"Oh, and you are not threatening me?" Rainsplash twisted her mouth.

There seemed to be a crackling in the air. There was clearly a deeper conflict between the two she-cats that Amberhaze was unaware of.

A low growl rose in Elderpelt's chest. "Go back to camp. You're not longer a part of this patrol."

"It's not up to you to decide this! You are not the leader!" Rainsplash nagged.

Elderpelt turned around to look at Toadleap, who was silently watching the drama with his black fur ruffled. "What would you do?" she asked him calmly.

Toadleap twitched his tail tip uncertainly. "Y-yes, go back," he confirmed, his voice shaking.

Thereupon Rainsplash's whiskers twitched mockingly. "If you say so," she purred. "But I'll let Honeyclaw know what an incompetent warrior you are. He won't let you lead a patrol again so soon."

With those words, she turned around, whirling up a good load of leaves and dirt with her hind paws and scampered off.

Amberhaze watched after her until her grey and white form disappeared behind the crest of the Fernpath. Why did she overreact like that?, the golden-red she-cat thought, shaking her head.

"Are you all right?" Elderpelt asked Toadleap, her calm voice as soothing as sunshine after a cloudburst.

With his ears flattened, Toadleap turned his head away. "I'm sorry," he muttered dejectedly. "I really can't do it, can I? I think it's better if you take the lead."

But Elderpelt shook her head vigorously. "Rainsplash won't cause you any more trouble now," she promised, though Amberhaze couldn't help noticing that she spat out the name as if it were mousebile on her tongue. "Besides, I'm even more inexperienced than you are. Why do you think I'd do any better?"

Toadleap had no answer to that. Surely this is the first patrol he's leading, Amberhaze thought. Of course he's nervous. And then Rainsplash got upset about completely trivial things. I would have felt helpless in such a situation too.

"Really, don't worry about Rainsplash," Silversky added. "If she really tries to tell on Bramblepaw and Blossompaw, she won't get very far."

A shadow flitted across Bramblepaw's vibrant green eyes. "Well, unless she twists the story."

Blossompaw nudged her with her shoulder, causing her to lose her balance for a moment and almost fall over. "Who would be stupid enough to believe that?" she hissed.

Amberhaze almost let out an amused purr.

Bramblepaw looked doubtfully at her paws. "I just don't want Frostshade to think badly of me," she explained. "It's hard enough to please her. I can't afford any lies."

Silversky nuzzled her ear. "It won't come to that," the silver-black tabby tom meowed decisively. "Now stop worrying about it."

Before Bramblepaw could voice any more of her doubts, Blossompaw wrapped her bushy tail around her front leg and pulled her away from Silversky.

Toadleap trotted ahead again. His fur was still not completely smooth, and despite the damp mist, Amberhaze could almost smell his nervousness. "We should get going now if we want to be back at camp by sunhigh."

And as if nothing had happened, he took the lead again. Soon after, the cats left the Fernpath and headed straight for the River Ravine. The roar of the water between the high, narrow cliffs already drowned out most other sounds here.

With a strange feeling, as if there were a huge black hole inside her, Amberhaze lined up as inconspicuously as possible next to Birchpelt. Once again, she was painfully reminded that she had no permanent place in this Clan. Would RoseClan ever be her home? Here she felt like a single, vulnerable flower in a huge thorn bush.

But she probably wouldn't even feel at home in MoonClan anymore. Or, for that matter, in SnowClan or LaurelClan — if it ever existed again.

Maybe she would be happier as a loner, as Amber. She could go wherever she wanted, never again having to worry about fitting into a strange world that did not understand her true self.

But she could not leave yet. She did not want to leave yet. First, she had to wait for Larkwing, if she was still alive at all.

They reached the tree trunk that led across the deep abyss at the end of the River Ravine. Amberhaze fell back into line and crossed the gorge at a safe distance from her patrolmates. The mossy bark was damp and brittle. Even one wrong step could cause her to fall and be swept into the deadly river.

But as countless times before, she made it safely to the other side and now turned right to follow the course of the river down the long ledge. She pressed herself tensely against the rock face. Even through her thick fur, her skin scraped uncomfortably against the stone. In many places, the ledge was brittle or had broken away completely, so she had to take a bigger step, holding her breath.

About a tree-length below her, white foaming water rushed between rocks and broken branches at breakneck speed. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw the other cliff, covered with bright moss, with numerous waterfalls and thin birch trees rooted at the top.

Has a cat ever died here? Amberhaze shuddered. The River Ravine was the most dangerous place in the territory. It would be easy to get rid of a cat here, and if there were no witnesses, no one would suspect anything.

She pressed her lips together. She mustn't think about that. There was no one in RoseClan who had such dark intentions.

"Couldn't we have crossed the river further upstream?" Blossompaw complained, her voice difficult to hear above the roar. "I don't understand why we have to risk our lives here."

Silently, Amberhaze agreed with her. After all, the River Ravine was not an insurmountable obstacle that ran through the entire forest. There was also the option of crossing the river at a wider and shallower point, and it would even be quicker.

"I'd like to know that too," Bramblepaw groaned.

None of the other cats reacted, so Amberhaze concluded that they hadn't heard her.

Hmm, maybe it's just tradition and there's no real reason for it, she thought. RoseClan had a long and sometimes dark history. Who knew what else she didn't know about them.

When they left the River Ravine after what seemed like an eternity and continued their way through the forest down to the border, Amberhaze relaxed again. Meanwhile, the fog was beginning to lift, revealing a bright blue sky. Here, in the lower part of the territory, where deciduous trees dominated, she felt much more comfortable than in the dark pine forest in the upper reaches of the mountain, just before the vast Foreign Lands.

Maybe it was because the Pineglade was at the very top. Secretly, Amberhaze detested fighting. She knew this even before her first training session. She was different from Larkwing, who had quickly been identified as having potential and had decided to become a battle strategist. She could not and did not want to use her claws to hurt others. Let alone be hurt herself.

She had already considered several times whether she would be better off as a medicine cat. As a warrior, she was far too gentle and indecisive. But no matter how much these thoughts had robbed her of sleep and concentration, she always remained silent and confided in no one. Not in Sootfeather, not in Larkwing, not in Fruittail.

However, there were also moments when she was proud of her position. Sootfeather had not trained her for six moons for nothing. Besides, she was supposedly a better hunter than many other cats. She should value that.

The cats stopped at a large rock by which well-trodden paths led past. The patrol split up — Amberhaze took the far left section of the border with MoonClan, along with Birchpelt and Blossompaw — then soon went their separate ways.

Blossompaw rushed ahead, her tail flowing behind her. Every now and then she stopped to sniff a fern or a tree stump.

I wish I could be that carefree. Seeing the apprentice dash enthusiastically between the trees made Amberhaze's stomach twist with envy. After all, Blossompaw still had her parents and siblings.

Amberhaze timidly glanced sideways at Birchpelt. She wanted to talk to him, but her head was suddenly so empty that nothing sensible would come out if she tried to meow.

"I don't understand why Rainsplash had to cause such problems," Birchpelt said out of the blue.

For no reason at all, Amberhaze's heart began to pound violently. "Maybe she's worried about Lakepelt," she speculated in a strange mixture of whispering and croaking. She felt hot with shame and wanted nothing more than to turn around and run away. Why did her voice fail her every time she spoke to Birchpelt?

"I don't think so." Birchpelt fixated his breathtakingly green eyes directly on her without blinking. "Rainsplash hates him. In fact, she hates all her kits. When they were born, she refused to even look at them. Patternleaf had to take care of them most of the time."

"Oh. I see." Embarrassed, Amberhaze quickened her pace. This probably explained the tension she had just sensed between Rainsplash and Elderpelt. Still, she couldn't understand why Rainsplash would hate her own kits. Of course, Lakepelt was unbearable, just like Reedclaw had been when she was still alive. Elderpelt, on the other paw, had not yet made a negative impression on Amberhaze, but there had to be a good reason why Rainsplash was so negative towards all of them.

Amberhaze clenched her teeth bitterly. If a mother hated her own kits, it meant a lot. And Larkwing, of all cats, was voluntarily spending time with Lakepelt. She should know better than anyone that he was bad.

When she comes back, I'll talk to her, Amberhaze decided, and stop her from seeing Lakepelt anymore.

Suddenly, a dark thought crossed her mind. What if Larkwing and Lakepelt were closer than she feared? Her fur prickled with disgust, as if countless insects were crawling over it. In the worst case, they might already be mates.

Irritated, Amberhaze tensed her claws. She couldn't understand Larkwing's stupidity. It was bad enough that she had found a mate before Amberhaze, but why couldn't she fall in love with another tom? One who treated her better, who was gentle and kind to her, and above all, who didn't see her eyes as a deformity.

For the rest of the way, Amberhaze tried her best not to think about it anymore. Maybe she would even be lucky and Larkwing would realise on her own that she could not be with Lakepelt. For her own good.

The river appeared behind a row of chestnut trees, a wide, flat, grey surface that separated the Forest Mountains from the wide, hilly heather meadows. Blossompaw was the first to scramble down the embankment. She disappeared from Amberhaze's sight for a moment, then reappeared near the bank.

"I can't see any MoonClan cats at all!" she stated aloud.

"Next time, don't just run ahead like that. You don't know what you might run into." Birchpelt overtook Amberhaze and jumped down the embankment as well.

A little offended, Blossompaw flattened her ears. "What should that be? Shadowless? They've always attacked at night."

Birchpelt's tail tip twitched. "Remember what Nightstar told us at the last Gathering. The Shadowless can communicate with each other now and work together purposefully. They couldn't do that before. For some reason, they're evolving. What guarantees that they will only continue to attack at night?"

That seemed to have convinced Blossompaw, because she mumbled with her head hanging down, "I'm sorry. But we'll manage, won't we?" She looked anxiously at Birchpelt, as if he had the answers to all the questions. "Now that we know what else they're capable of."

Birchpelt hesitated at that. Amberhaze also realised with an uneasy feeling that they couldn't just let themselves be lulled into a sense of security. If the Shadowless had acquired the ability to talk to each other, that actually made them even more dangerous.

Despair rose within her. Hopefully the reconnaissance patrol would return soon. At this time, they needed answers more than ever.

"I don't know," Birchpelt finally answered truthfully. "Right now, there's not much we can do except stay alert."

Exactly, always sleep with one eye open and suspect danger behind every bush. Sniffing, Amberhaze trudged along the shore, leaving her scent marks on the reeds. She couldn't discover any fresh tracks of other cats or animals, only a faint, already very stale scent of a badger.

Amberhaze had never seen such a creature and she had only smelled its scent once before as an apprentice. She was glad about that, though, because after what Sootfeather had told her about them back then, she had immediately realised that she never wanted to meet a badger alone. Even if they were small and made a harmless impression at first, they could quickly become aggressive if they felt threatened.

Back when Blossompaw and her family had joined RoseClan, they had been attacked by a badger shortly before. Flutterflight had suffered an infected wound in the process. Fortunately, Fruittail had been there and had tirelessly looked after her, otherwise it would almost certainly have ended in her death.

No matter what this badger wanted here, it's long gone. Amberhaze relaxed. She wasn't particularly keen on fighting a non-cat.

Curious, she glanced over to the other bank. There were indeed no MoonClan cats to be seen far and wide, but she wasn't worried about that. They had lost a lot of time because of Rainsplash. It was quite possible that MoonClan had already finished renewing the border markers.

Then she noticed something in the grass. It was so small that she would never have noticed it if its orange colour didn't contrast with the green stalks. Amberhaze narrowed her eyes suspiciously. Seriously? What cat just leaves prey lying around like that? Not much longer and it's crowfood.

But when the supposed prey started to move, her heart stopped in shock.

By my whiskers, that... that's a kit!

Cold horror crawled through her fur. It couldn't even stand on its own four paws. What was it doing there? Above all, why was it alone?

Amberhaze looked around indecisively. Birchpelt and Blossompaw were far away, just like the tree trunk that was normally used to cross the river. There was no way she was going to leave the kit unattended. As close as it was to the river, an accident could easily happen. One wrong move and it would drown.

I have to get over there and get it. That was the only thought that kept buzzing around in Amberhaze's head. But if she couldn't cross the tree trunk, she had no choice but to swim.

The water felt cool as she slipped her paws into it. The current tore at her legs and if she couldn't fight it, she would inevitably be swept away from the forest.

Amberhaze glanced to her patrolmates again. "I'm completely out of mind, aren't I?" she whispered.

She briefly toyed with the idea of running to them. But then she thought she heard the high, pitiful mewing of the kit and waded deeper into the water until her belly fur was wet.

She had to swim. She didn't want to risk the kit falling into the river as soon as she turned around.

Cautiously, Amberhaze wanted to take another step forward. Instead, her paw stepped into nothingness and with a gasp she was pulled under the surface of the water. Reflexively, she squinted her eyes and moved her legs around wildly. She no longer knew which way was up and which way was down and her lungs seemed to be about to burst.

Suddenly, something slippery brushed against her hind legs. She almost gasped in fright, but managed to pull herself together at the last moment.

I'm going to die here! In horror, she realised that she had lost her strength. Her legs felt as heavy as stones. By now she was sure that she was getting further and further away from the saving air.

She was going to die a senseless death. Her Clanmates wouldn't even know she was gone. Surely they wouldn't even mourn her. Maybe Larkwing would, and Dawnbreeze too, but they would quickly forget Amberhaze as if she had never existed.

Pull yourself together, Amberhaze, and swim!

That voice — did it belong to a StarClan cat? So her time had indeed come. All at once, Amberhaze felt as if all fear was being blown away by a fresh newleaf breeze. Dying only meant that her soul was going to another world. She wouldn't just disappear forever.

Once again the voice, clearly feminine and energetic, drifted through her mind. Listen, my love, I'm not actually allowed to interfere in the fate of living cats. I'm not even allowed to be here. But I can't let you give up your life just like that. You have a future ahead of you, don't forget that!

Then Amberhaze was pushed upwards. It was a faint touch, but she felt it clearly through her fur. Shortly afterwards, her head broke through the surface.

Instinctively, she sucked in a deep breath. The next moment she was overcome by a violent coughing fit and masses of water poured out of her mouth and nose.

Someone had saved her from drowning. She stared at the grey surface of the water, hoping to see something in the depths of the river. In vain.

As Amberhaze looked around, she realised that the current had already washed her a great distance away from the Clan territories. With all the strength she could muster, she paddled towards the shore. As soon as her paws touched solid ground again, she pulled herself lengthways onto the grass and lay there in exhaustion.

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Imagine being so shy and socially awkward that you'd rather swim in a river and risk drowning than simply call for help. Well, Amberhaze wouldn't think of that.

The next chapter will be a continuation of this one, by the way, as it already has over 4,400 words and I can't possibly cram everything into one chapter without it getting too long.

How do you think the others will react to the kit? I can already tell you one thing: it will play an important role later on.

Questions:

What do you think the kit's name will be? (I've already thought of a name. Hint: it's something unusual that refers to its fur colour)

Why is it lying there all alone?