It's a wonder I haven't died by now.

As soon as Sunray had disappeared, Larkwing collapsed. Her legs felt like thin twigs that could snap in two at any moment. Then there was the tearing pain in her neck, which prevented her from moving her head.

Only now did she realise that she was in a ruin, one that was barely bigger than a bramble bush. The entire roof was missing, revealing the orange-red colours of the morning that were gradually replacing the night.

Tiredness overcame Larkwing. She couldn't help but open her mouth wide to yawn. As she did so, she became aware of the sticky feeling on her face again. The blood seemed to have stopped flowing and was now drying in her fur. The pain had also subsided, making it more bearable.

With difficulty, as if she were carrying stones in her body, Larkwing dragged herself across the ground to Crowshadow. The sight of her twisted leg caused a tight feeling in her chest. To get it out of her field of vision, Larkwing closed her left, green eye.

"Crowshadow." Her voice was little more than a toneless croak. Larkwing moved as close as she could to the former SnowClan she-cat and pressed her mouth to her ear. "Crowshadow! Wake up!" she repeated louder, each word as strenuous to meow as running up a mountain.

An agonisingly long time passed before a soft sigh sounded. Hope swelled in Larkwing. She placed a white paw on Crowshadow's shoulder.

Finally, Crowshadow opened her eyes. They were empty, dull and glassy, yet they were directed straight at Larkwing. "What's wrong?" she mumbled sleepily. "And why do you look like someone died?"

Larkwing couldn't hold on any longer. With a stifled whine, she buried her muzzle in the older one's soft, thick fur. She didn't care that all the blood was rubbing off. The only thing that mattered was that Crowshadow was alive — that her heart was beating.

"You! I thought you were going to die!" Larkwing explained, her voice a strange mixture of purring and wailing. "Your leg, it..."

She broke off as Crowshadow stiffened. Unsure, she moved back.

"I can't feel it," Crowshadow whispered. "My leg... I can't feel my leg."

There was a twinge in Larkwing's chest. "Sunray did this to you. But don't worry. It will heal again. We need to get out of here and find the others."

It will never heal again.

Menacingly, Sunray's last words swirled around in her head. That simply couldn't be true. Sunray was a rotten liar. She had only said that to break Larkwing's spirit. Surely Crowshadow's leg was only broken.

That reminded Larkwing that she had never seen a broken leg before and therefore couldn't judge how drastic the injury actually was. Still, she refused to admit that there might not be any hope after all.

Resolutely, she pulled herself to her paws. Don't even think about it, she ordered herself sternly. Cloverdapple will fix it. He has so many moons of experience as a medicine cat. And some of the ruin cats certainly know about herbs as well.

"I'll have a look around outside," Larkwing meowed. "Don't you move, have you understood?"

After saying that, she was about to trot towards the exit when a twinge in her tail made her hesitate.

Crowshadow had stretched out a paw and hooked her claws into her black fur. "Warrior for just two moons and yet you're already giving orders," she snorted with an amused undertone and twitching whiskers. "Take care of yourself, Larkwing. You're still young. You have your whole life ahead of you, you can't just give that up like that."

Don't worry, I'm not planning to die. The words were on the tip of Larkwing's tongue, but somehow she couldn't say them. Instead, she replied, "Neither of us will die. I swear to you."

Then she whirled around. Turning her ears alertly in all directions and opening her mouth, she stepped timidly outside.

Sunray was nowhere to be seen. Larkwing exhaled with relief. Hopefully she had disappeared far away.

As she picked her way through the ruins, she passed scraps of fur strewn all over the place. Dried dark red splashes adorned the stone walls. The rear part of a cat's body emerged from one of the ruins.

Reflexively, Larkwing stopped. Grief wanted to spread through her until she reminded herself that she had no idea which side this cat had belonged to.

She walked on, her gaze fixated straight ahead. If the cat had been part of Sunray's retinue — whether she had manipulated them with her mind powers or not — the only thing that had been right was death.

Larkwing froze at these thoughts. Where did this coldness of feeling come from? She wanted to be honourable. It was not befitting to kill cats.

Nevertheless, it would be wrong to deny her feelings when they seemed so strong and clear. For a moment I thought that I would kill Sunray — of my own free will, for what she had done to me and Crowshadow and everyone else.

Larkwing dropped into a fast gallop until the river moved into her field of vision. At the sight of the water, she became aware of the scratching in her throat again and she slid down the embankment. She dipped her muzzle into the water, only to pull it up a moment later, gasping.

Mousedung, that's cold! Shivering, she fluffed up her medium-long pelt. But the thirst was too agonising for her to be deterred. So she moved closer to the shore again and carefully took a few sips. This made her even more chilly than before, but at least she was able to quench one need.

As soon as she thought she had had enough, she began to splash water on her face with her paws to wash it. From time to time, she tried to recognise the extent of the injury in her reflection on the greyish surface. But today the water didn't seem to reflect very well and so there were only blurred outlines.

Revenge. It had been thoughts of revenge that had triggered these murderous feelings.

All at once, Larkwing realised this. Fear rose up in her, as oppressive as a cloud of black smoke, and she pushed backwards against the embankment.

I must get rid of these thoughts as quickly as possible. Otherwise they'll get worse.

Digging her sharp, cream-coloured claws into the dry, hard earth, Larkwing pulled herself upwards. Time to look for cats who hadn't fled or who had come back to search for those left behind.

She wandered aimlessly among the ruins for a while. Maybe she should risk it and call for help. However, she soon realised that her vocal chords were barely working.

Seeking support, she fell with her flank against a low remnant of a wall of ruins. She was so terribly tired, her eyelids so heavy that she wanted to fall asleep.

Sunray is a Shadowless. What if I become one now?

Larkwing stared rigidly at her white paws. "Okay, calm down," she murmured. "Sunray is not a Shadowless. How is that supposed to work? She's been confused. And insane. No, more like insanely confused."

Larkwing shook her head, snorting in disbelief. That was how it would be. So far, she had never met a shadowless cat who was still — more or less — sane and conscious. Well, apart from the tom who had sent her here, but whether he was really shadowless was doubtful. But perhaps the body simply shed the shadowlessness when the cat in question died.

Or one dies because the body rejects the shadowlessness. Larkwing's fur prickled. Hadn't Sunray mentioned that it was like an infection, a disease? That was the most believable thing she had said, and therefore it meant that there must have been an origin at some point.

Suddenly a dark realisation dawned on her. The impenetrable wall of fire smoke, the huge tentacled, artificial creatures — could it be possible that this long-ago event had something to do with the Shadowless?

"Sunray, a Shadowless? That's news to me."

Scared to death, Larkwing whirled around and hissed, fur bristling, in the direction from which the meowing had come. A golden she-cat peeked out from under a bush.

How dare she reappear here? Dazed with unbridled rage, Larkwing threw herself forwards. Even though she was in pain, she would never pass up the opportunity to fight Sunray.

As light as a leaf, the golden she-cat gave way under Larkwing's weight. The scent of fear that emanated from her was oppressive and enveloped her.

"I should never have let you live," Larkwing growled in a voice that came from her mouth, but sounded strange and threatening at the same time. "The world will be a better place without—"

She faltered. Only now did she realise that the cat beneath her had intact eyes. And they were blue.

Topaz! Oh StarClan, it really is Topaz! Not exactly the first cat I wanted to see, but still. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry!" she rattled off, taking a step back. "I... I thought you were..."

Ears flattened, Topaz pressed herself close to the ground, eyes downcast. "Guardian," she mumbled choked. "It's more like we're the ones who need to apologise. Because we left you alone in the face of death. If you want to punish me for that, then do so."

Larkwing frowned. "I was never a Guardian. I am Larkwing," she clarified. "The truth is, there never was a prophecy. Sunray just made it up so she'd have an excuse to lure me here and use me for her own purposes."

Topaz's pelt twitched, but she said nothing.

"So stop rolling around in the dirt and look at me, will you?"

At that, Topaz flinched barely perceptibly. "Forgive— Good heavens, you're hurt!"

Before Larkwing knew it, Topaz was licking the long scratch on her face with vigorous strokes of her tongue. The pain soon eased a little.

Only when Larkwing's fur was completely soaked did Topaz stop. "You should have that treated as soon as possible so that it doesn't get infected," she determined apprehensively.

Larkwing nodded. "She bit my neck too," she meowed. "Could you have a look at it?"

Topaz sniffed at her, before stepping back and announcing, "There's nothing there."

"What do you mean, of course—" Larkwing paused and moved her head.

This can't be true! I know exactly how hard she bit me.

The burning, paralysing pain was gone. Not a trace was left, as if Sunray had never dug her fangs into her.

Confusion rose within her. "N-no, you don't understand. It really was like that!" she babbled.

"You're confused," Topaz realised sympathetically. "You've had a difficult time. No wonder you're making things up."

Larkwing wanted to protest again, but quickly realised that it would be pointless. Strange. Extremely strange.

Then she remembered with a little shock that Crowshadow was still in the ruins, waiting for her return. "Follow me," she meowed over her shoulder as she stomped away.

Hurriedly, Topaz trotted after her. "Where are we going?"

"To Crowshadow." With her nose to the ground, Larkwing traced her way back using her scent trail. She stopped in front of the ruins and raised her tail in warning. "Just so you know: the sight of it will deeply disturb you."

Larkwing was the first to enter. "Crowshadow?" she meowed hesitantly.

When there was no reply, she rushed forward. Crowshadow lay there suspiciously still.

"That's what Sunray did?" Topaz slid next to her, an expression of pure horror on her face.

Larkwing crouched down silently and felt Crowshadow's chest. Heartbeat... where is her heartbeat? But while she couldn't feel a pounding beneath the thick fur, her own heart was working at full speed.

A touch on her flank made her flinch. "Don't worry, she's still breathing," Topaz reassured her, "albeit weakly."

The panic that kept Larkwing in suspense hardly diminished. "But she'll make it, won't she? Her leg will heal." Sniffing, she took a deep breath. Her voice was so shaky that she found it difficult to meow. "It will, right? Now say something! Please!"

Before Topaz had a chance to reply, Crowshadow's eyelids suddenly fluttered. Weakly, she lifted her head and blinked. "To the forest," she muttered barely audibly.

"We have to go to the forest," Topaz confirmed. "That's where the others fled to last night. There's a camp there."

While the golden tabby she-cat pushed Crowshadow onto her paws with difficulty, Larkwing couldn't help but stare at her twisted leg. Once again, an avalanche of guilt rolled over her. All because of me. If only I had been more careful. If only I had taken a different path, I wouldn't have run into Sunray. 

She tensed her claws. I would never have let myself be lulled by the prophecy. It had been nothing more than a deception. Any bet Sunray had manipulated my thoughts back then to make me agree to follow them. 

"Will you give me a paw?" Topaz's voice snapped her out of her thoughts.

"Coming." Larkwing rushed to Crowshadow's side and pressed against her flank to support her. Her body felt cold and scrawny. Involuntarily, Larkwing shivered. Naturally, newleaf had only just begun. As soon as the prey began to run in greater numbers again, she would regain the weight she had lost during the snowy period.

Now that Larkwing thought about it, she could hardly wait for greenleaf to burst in. At last, long and warm days again, all the trees and bushes lush with leaves, and above all, she would no longer have the stature of a stick. She had got used to it over time, but it was still uncomfortable to lie on her hipbones from time to time.

As quickly as they could, the three she-cats crossed the ruins' area. That meant at a snail's pace. Due to Crowshadow being easily twice the size of Larkwing and Topaz, as well as only being able to hop because of her useless hind leg, they had trouble walking straight ahead while supporting the black-furred warrior at the same time. Moreover, Topaz was startled by the sight of every splash of blood.

Annoyed, Larkwing clenched her fangs and turned her head away. A few leap-lengths away, she spotted the limp corpse of a white cat, partially hidden by the tall grass. A swarm of flies buzzed over them.

Nausea rose in Larkwing's throat and she averted her eyes. Good thing Topaz hasn't seen that! She wondered who this cat was. Hopefully one of Sunray's followers. One enemy less.

"Are you the only one who came back?" Larkwing asked, partly to break the silence and partly to distract Topaz.

"Yes." A shadow passed over Topaz's blue eyes. "Many cats are wounded, both physically and mentally. Sunray's... so-called betrayal has hit us hard. I... I just don't understand how this could've happened. We trusted her. Is this the thanks we get?"

The cold, bitter tone in her voice was hard to ignore. Her anger, her grief, all her feelings came crashing down on Larkwing like a rain of thorns. Topaz had to go through so much in a single night. Larkwing was barely able to imagine what was going on in her head.

Sunray has unfairly snatched the ruin cats' trust and taken cruel advantage of it, the tortico she-cat thought gloomily. She has been manipulating their thoughts all this time and has turned two groups against each other. I wouldn't be surprised if she did worse things.

In the form of an ugly, warped grimace, Sunray's scratched, eyeless countenance appeared in her thoughts. She does not deserve to live on. Let the flies swarm over her body.

Sighing silently, Larkwing put her head back. She would never have thought that it would be exhausting to carry so much resentment in her heart, or that she was capable of it at all.

She had never felt this way before. Not when Goldenstar wanted to take advantage of her. Not when Reedclaw made her life difficult. Not even when she had learnt that she wasn't a MoonClan cat.

Then she noticed that Crowshadow and Topaz had stopped. It didn't take half a heartbeat for Larkwing to realise why.

They were back at the place where it had happened.

Where Crowshadow had injured her hind leg and where Larkwing had lost sight of Lakepelt and been abducted by Sunray once more.

"We have to keep going," she urged. "The sooner we find the camp, the more hope there is for Crowshadow's leg."

Even as she spoke, she realised what a pathetic lie that was. No matter how many times she tried to tell herself, there would be no healing.

"Larkwing, stop it," Crowshadow growled. "My leg is destroyed. There's nothing more we can do. I'll have to accept that for better or worse."

No, you don't have to!, Larkwing wanted to scream. But imaginary tendrils constricted her throat. It was simply the truth and she hated to admit it to herself.

Without another word, the she-cats crossed the place. With a strangely constricting feeling in her chest, Larkwing cast a sideways glance at Moth, who was lying half on a stone ledge with a creepily deep bite wound in his throat and a twisted head. Not far from him, to the left and right, were two more cats with similar mortal wounds.

It was no mystery to find out who had killed them. Larkwing's fur bristled. Lakepelt scared her. Killing four cats in a single night — that showed an extreme cruelty that guaranteed one a place in the Dark Forest.

When they reached the edge of the forest, she gradually calmed down. Better not to worry so much about what has already happened and might happen, and instead concentrate on the present.

Feeling the cool, slightly damp earth beneath her paws was a real blessing. The further they walked, the more secure Larkwing felt. She was a forest cat, after all. Being surrounded by trees was practically the elixir of life for her.

Nevertheless, she would prefer her territory. This forest here was nice, but in no way comparable to the forest mountains.

It was simply boring. RoseClan territory had the River Ravine to offer and more vegetative diversity. In the lower area, deciduous trees predominated, while at the highest point, where the territory sloped steeply down to the foreign land, only conifers grew.

Here, however, was nothing but thin trees and shrubs. No exciting places, apart from the rock face in which the Ancient Stone used to be hidden.

"I'm afraid Cirrus won't be pleased that I've gone off on my own," Topaz sighed after a while.

"Cirrus?" Larkwing twitched her ear.

Topaz flicked her tail. "Well, now that Sunray is gone, Cirrus has taken over her role as her former closest familiar."

"I see, but aren't you afraid that she might betray you as well?"

"That won't happen. Cirrus is different. You should have seen her when she found out what Sunray did to you."

If Topaz said that, it had to be true. Larkwing had hardly had any contact with Cirrus so far, so she had no choice but to trust the golden tabby she-cat's words. "And yet she hasn't sent out a search party yet," she meowed slowly.

Topaz sighed agonisedly. "She has no other choice. The ruin cats have to recover from the worst of their injuries first. That's the top priority."

Larkwing gave her an interested, scrutinising look over Crowshadow's back. There were no visible scratches on her body, which must mean that she had made it out of the fight unscathed.

The kits! She froze in horror. "Where are they?" she shouted harshly at Topaz as she panicked. "Phoebe, Amaranth and Crystal. Please tell me they're all right!"

Topaz purred soothingly in response. "They're with Stream."

"Stream?"

"My mate," Topaz explained.

Larkwing's mouth fell open in disbelief. "Y-you have a mate?" she stuttered.

Now Topaz was the one who seemed clueless. "Why does that surprise you?"

Larkwing had to admit to herself that her reaction was a little absurd. After all, a bird hadn't just dropped the kits from the sky.

"Well, it's just that I've never met him before. At least I think so," she explained.

With a suddenly sad expression, Topaz held her head lower. "I wish it was different. Stream may be my mate, but... ah, I don't know. Somehow it feels wrong."

Curious, Larkwing turned one ear to the side. ''Why?"

There was silence for a moment, and she feared she had said something inappropriate.

But then Topaz continued. "I'm not sure if I actually love Stream," she admitted hesitantly. "Don't get me wrong. He's not a bad cat, quite the opposite. I know that I like him. But it's not love. It took me longer than other she-cats to find a mate. I almost became known in the camp as the 'weird one'. No matter with how many toms I had a try, I never got that spark everyone talks about."

Oh. Oh. Ooohh. "Uh, that must suck," Larkwing rambled to herself, clueless as to what better response she could give.

"It is." Topaz breathed in resignedly. "Whatever. I don't have any other choice."

With that, the conversation seemed to be over and they continued to focus on guiding Crowshadow. A crazy thought flashed through Larkwing's mind. Maybe relationships aren't for her, just like they aren't for me. Or maybe she should just try to date fellow she-cats.

Then she shook her pelt vigorously. Who was she to think she could give relationship advice to another cat just like that?

That's why she refrained from this partly serious, partly ironic suggestion and said instead: "By the way, thanks for coming back. Without you, Crowshadow and I would probably still be there."