"Are you feeling alright?"

Izuku's voice sounded so far away yet close, she always found him interesting but now that her thoughts were jumbled and she felt like having a knife would do her better than being defenseless again, "Yeah, I'm... Good, I think." She couldn't keep her eyes on him for long, feeling the need to constantly look at the windows.

"... Are you sure? Why do you keep looking behind me?" Izuku furrowed his eyebrows and quickly glanced back, settling his fork down and questioning her tensed appearance.

"Oh- I... I wasn't looking at anything." She smiled, allowing her to cast her gaze down and pick a piece of fried egg she cut out and put it in her mouth, "Don't worry, I'm... Good, yeah, I've got nothing to worry about!" She chuckled, nodding her head and almost seemed like she was convincing herself rather than him.

"Yeah... we are good. So don't worry, as long as we stick to my plan, it will be alright." he stretched his hand out to caress her free hand and got her to look at him, she smiled, softening her widened eyes, and gently bobbed her head.

What she didn't say lingered on her tongue.

'For how long?' she thought to herself, staring down at the food she still didn't feel like finishing no matter how she tried to. She did the same thing before, leaving, and her happiness never lasted long. Maybe she was overthinking this, maybe she was thinking nonsense.

But she still wanted a knife. With her.

Something, something to feel in her hand when she hears anything in the house, something to make her believe she could handle whatever came her way, anything to make her believe herself.

And soon, she lost her appetite, and swallowing anything felt like she was chewing down pebbles. Every time she thinks of danger, hunger is the last thing on her mind, and only wanted to lock herself in with the reassurance that if someone had to enter, they'd have to go through many locked doors to reach her.

"I think I'm done. I'll go now."

"You haven't finished-"

"No, I can't! I can't force it down my throat." She pushed her chair back and got up to her feet, "I promise I'll finish it later." she picked up her plate and tried to walk away, ignoring Izuku as he got up and followed behind her to the kitchen.

"Is something bothering you? Please, you have to tell me at least." Izuku pleaded as he sidestepped her and stood in front of her frame, stopping her from completing her daily errand. Yesterday, he tried to argue that she didn't need to do the chores around the house but she had insisted it would keep her mind at ease and he hadn't made an effort to deter her.

"It's nothing, really!" she strained a grin, quickly attempting to tread past him, but he didn't approve of it. "Izuku, you're scaring me!!" she suddenly yelled and moved back, and had her hands not been holding up the plate, she'd have pushed him back.

"What?" Izuku's shoulders slackened and he peered down at her, "I didn't mean to--"

She placed her plate on the counter and looked at him, taking in his guilty expression and she couldn't help but feel like a bad person for shouting at him without a reason, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have yelled." she quickly apologized, "I don't know why I did that, I just-- I just remembered he used to do that to stop me from leaving our classroom."

"I'm sorry I shouldn't have done that." Izuku had also been quick in realizing his mistake and taking the blame, he opened his mouth to say more but she beat him to it, "No! It's not your fault, I just keep associating everything with him that it's hard to stop now, having breakfast in the morning, sleeping alone, closed doors, they just all seem to trigger the worst memory."

"Is there a way to stop that? Because I'm too scared to let my guard down now." She looked up, "Is there anything that can help me? Medicine? Sleep? Pain? I just need a solution."

"It's alright to feel that way! There's nothing wrong with you, you just escaped a place you didn't want to stay, it's natural for your mind to be hypervigilant now but it'll pass, and you'll feel safe again I promise you." his words had the effect he wanted at first but for her, it didn't last a minute longer.

"I... I can't."

---

Katsuki sat atop his bed for the night, strolling past all the emails he'd received on his phone and not finishing them all before backtracking and opening up his gallery, clicking on a folder, and smiling a little.

Tracing his thumb over the pictures and staying motionless for a while, watching and observing all the pictures and videos he took of her, a lot of which he had Aoi take for him. If he'd known he'd be left with her all images and not her, herself with him, he'd have killed that witch before.

If only he'd cleared his slate better. This wouldn't have happened. She'd still be there with him.

He quickly swiped away the tear that formed and flowed down his eyes, biting his lips from sobbing like a miserable weakling who'd just lost a game and everything else, he wouldn't let Aoi get away with murder, he'd haunt that snake until he skins her alive.

But for now, he needed something to occupy his mind.

Something to relieve him of bottled-up bitterness.

He picked out a video from years back, he barely had any space left in his phone thanks to all the videos he had of her, and he refused to get rid of them even now, more than ever.

"Hey, guys! Say Hi to the camera!" Aoi cheered for her friends as she held up her phone and posed a little, "Today, we are undergoing a secret mission under the request of Mr. Katsuki! Who wants to see his girlfriend every day and overnight!" she mused, letting out a dreamy sigh and turning around to the voices.

"Wish I had a boyfriend who would not stop stalking me, lol!" her friends pouted and whined like spoiled brats who wanted to get themselves killed.

He scowled and moved his thumb to pace the video further, Aoi always liked to put herself first before anybody else, and he found that aggravating at that time.

"Oh! There she is! Watching you I presume?" Aoi zoomed on a figure sitting by a bench and keeping to herself, oblivious to Aoi recording her, rotating the camera toward the direction of her interest Aoi simpered, "Ohoh! She's watching you!" moving the camera back to her, she smiled, "I better get paid extra for this! I'm taking a video of something monumental!"

Turning her head away from the device, she frowned, "Now she's not looking at you."

The video ended and he started another one, he remembered these tiny things used to calm him down somewhat and they still do, finding better ways to alleviate stress other than damaging his things and punching his fist into the wall, he found that he liked to observe her, and after that, he never got reprimanded for breaking his old hag's vase or mirrors.

Finishing another recording, he tapped on another and another until he found himself crying. It was a recent one he had taken while watching her sleep, right after their first time, right after she passed out, and he was on cloud nine that day.

He should have been better. If only he were better.

He curled within himself and hid his eyes behind his arms, his other hand gripping his hair and struggling not to pull them out, he wanted to hurt himself so that he'd have some sort of relief, even though knowing it wouldn't help.

He lost her again, and it hurt more than the first time.

What was he supposed to do now? Work hard until he ceases to function and dies alone? How was he even going to fix his reputation? He knows his agency will cover up all the bad rumors surrounding him, even the higher-ups in the media business would help him if he paid enough.

Even having everything under control, nothing felt like it was under his command and he was helpless.

Snatching his phone from the bedsheets, he opened his contacts and pressed a number, letting it ring for a bit before he heard the same voice say the same thing.

Of course, he broke her phone and he didn't get her a new one. And...

She'd never pick up his calls now.

'The number you have dialed is not available, please try another number.'

He's heard that eight times a day and every time, it drives him crazy. Knowing he couldn't do shit.

'The number you have dialed is not available, please try another number.'

'The number you have dialed is not available, please try another number.'

Shooting up from his bed he quickly darted toward the window and stared out into the darkness, Kirishima insisted he stay the night till he found a new place and he didn't have a chance to decline before he drove them here and settled him in this room.

He didn't plan on staying long, he'd leave first thing in the morning and hopefully, go back to his agency and get them to find Aoi, it was faster that way, and it would give him something to do. Cause...

Right now, he felt like a failure.

He sighed and leaned his forearm on the glass and bent forward. He didn't know what he was expecting to see, but he felt he needed to check if someone was tailing him.

Anything out of the ordinary, however, nothing moved except for the trees and the occasional cars that sped by and overshadowed the sounds of crickets, it was a normal night to everyone else.

It would have been for him too, if he had her with him and if he would have been able to sleep with all the terrifying conclusions his mind comes to.

He quickly swallowed another tear and walked back to his phone, maybe if he watched another video of her he'd calm down, and if he pretended enough, he could imagine her sleeping right next to him.

The image of her in his mind loved him. She always smiled at him and teased him, and his fantasies sometimes seemed so real.

She'd beg for him, she'd cook for him, she'd wear the prettiest dresses for him, she'd comfort him.

If he could admit it out loud, it's what kept him going since the day she walked out on him.

The magic his mind performed seemed to work at first, but all that faded, and he couldn't keep up. His eyes watered, and he stifled a scream threatening to spill out of his mouth at the thought of losing her, he'd done so much and it just wasn't good enough, and it made him so angry.

But he stopped. He would make it up to her.

He would kill Aoi.

He will kill her.

Reluctantly he turned his phone back on and prepared himself for the thing he was most dreading. When he brought the tracker it was solely for finding her, and never losing sight, he didn't predict he would use it to find her dead somewhere, but... Maybe there was still a chance she was alive.

If Aoi hadn't tortured her and left her for dead.

Just thinking about her bloodied and bruised abandoned somewhere to slowly die and suffer made him feel weaker than he'd ever felt, still, he gathered up some strength and tapped on the tracker app.

And there it was, her last location. She'd been so far from him.

Somewhere much further away from where she'd been. His palm grew sweaty and he quickly searched for the site where he was directed, it was an old warehouse, sitting alone in the middle of nowhere, and engulfed in pitch black.

He struggled to breathe as he approached his jacket and put it on his shoulder, unlocking the door and walking out of his room almost like he was in a daze, he didn't feel anything. Kirishima was watching his daily night shows when he noticed Katsuki dart toward his car keys, "Hey? Where are you going?" he asked confused, his friend had been behaving strangely ever since he told him he was getting married but right now, his empty and duty-bound eyes strayed away from him, and he didn't get any response.

"Bro? Hey? It's kinda late to be going outside?" Kirishima attempted to interfere with the blonde's odd behavior, "The shops will be closed now either way-" Katsuki gently pushed him away, and without a word, he opened the front door and went on his way.

Leaving Kirishima alone in his living room baffled.

I made a playlist for this book! If you want to check it out go over here: https://open.spotify.com/playlist/39PO83zSQ1L9OW7L80NAFx?si=b1e9fc4172be44fc

If that is not working, you can go over to my Spotify account called feehix and look for a playlist U.B, if that too isn't working, let me know, or you can check my conversation board and click the link there.

Also, how the fuck do I add a link to the story-