── Friday 1st September 1972

SIRIUS' SUMMER WAS DULL AND ARDUOUS, despite the rays of sunshine outside, that his ivory bedroom curtains compromised anyways - truly, being home for the holidays had swallowed up all chances of enjoyment in rather a similar way. He was sick of visiting family friends who stayed so long they might as well have moved in, and he was sick of lengthy suppers comprised of even lengthier lectures about the importance of upholding their family legacy, regardless of his oh-so-unfortunate sorting, accompanied with a side of boiled vegetables and rice, but most importantly he was sick of his fibbing younger brother who refused to open up to him despite his desperate pleas to let him in.

Over the past few months, Sirius had come up with a multitude of possible reactions Reggie could have when he saw him again — his brother would hate him for being placed in Gryffindor, or for talking to blood traitors, or for being a blood traitor, but never, never, had the boy thought he would be the one appalled by his brother's actions. If Sirius didn't know any better he would have felt betrayed — Nott and his dumb fucking words played in his mind continuously every time Reggie would neglect his questions, like one of Remus' broken Bowie records.

"You know he's a killer, right?" Sirius had asked him a few times, wondering where his brother's stance was on that, but Regulus hadn't even dared to look at him.

Other times it was: "Who told you to talk to him?" Again, a question Regulus had become accustomed to ignoring.

"Rosier?" Sirius had pressed once. "Lestrange?" He recalled his brother's jaw tensing at the mention of his mates, just like their mother's would when she disagreed with something. That had bristled Sirius for reasons he hadn't wanted to pinpoint. "Was it mother then?" 

"Just go away, Sirius! You don't know anything!" Regulus had snapped back, so suddenly that the other boy had flinched. Right. Merlin forbid someone accused their poor mother. Sirius had rolled his eyes at that, and simply left the room. That had been the last time he'd found himself interrogating his brother that summer. 

However Sirius did know better, and so he knew if anyone could get through to his stubborn little brother, it was him. He refused to believe that Regulus' demeanour would change so drastically around him over a few friends who lacked idealistic pureblood standards, his brother was not that stuck in his ways. Regulus simply needed to get to know James, Peter and Remus and in no time he'd be far away from any thoughts of assisting pitiful terrorists who went by melodramatic pseudonyms.

Packing away his final items of clothing, Sirius made his way down the stairs, which were certainly the only thing he'd miss as, unlike at Hogwarts, these ones didn't knock him off his feet. Regulus joined a few minutes later, standing next to him yet only uttering a simple "Hi."

Sirius looked in their mother's direction, expecting her to apparate them to the train station already as he was just itching to get away from this miserable dwelling, though it appeared she was otherwise occupied, with muttering away to their father in a hushed tone.

"What's taking so long?" Sirius mumbled impatiently, running a hand through his hair. Regulus shrugged, resorting to looking down at his hands and picking at the skin. Sirius scrunched his nose at his brother's habit, eyeing him judgmentally. Accompanied with Regulus' constant rubbing of his wrists, his hands always looked a bit messed up.

Finally, their parents finished their lovely conversation and their mother approached her sons with a steady smile. Sirius noticed Regulus' posture relax just the slightest at their mother's evident positivity, though he wasn't quite certain of it himself.

"Now, boys, I know there were some... complications with Sirius' sorting last year," she began, smoothing out his stray strands of hair as she did, "and though Dumbledore, the incompetent fool, refuses to move Sirius to his rightful house, despite our efforts, we will-"

"What? I'm not moving house." Sirius interrupted, incredulity lacing his voice as he stepped away, his annoyance immediately flaring up. She couldn't be serious. "I am a Gryffindor. Why can't you just accept that? You're so- you're both such-"

"Sirius!" Regulus hissed quietly, but Sirius wasn't paying attention to him right now.

His mother's pleasant expression had formed into something more stern as she stared down at him."Such?"

"Stubborn pricks!" he huffed. "You're so stuck in your old ways when actually it's better if I'm in Gryffindor, because then I'm with people I enjoy being around, and not a bunch of bigots that I'm all related to in some way. Especially when half the bloody kids at Hogwarts know that Black is just a synonym for inbr--"

The sudden slap took him aback, the sound echoing through the hallway. Sirius looked back at his mother, hurt, to find her eyes flashing with rage. A dumbfounded expression was now plastered on his face as the stinging sensation on his cheek expanded, tears instinctively pricking his eyes. He'd gone too far there, forgotten himself. Sirius stood there, silent now, awaiting the screaming that would of course follow suit. 

"You audacious child- bigoted? Almost twelve years, your father and I have fed you, clothed you and given you a place to stay and this is what we're repaid with? For raising you with respectable ideals?" Her nostrils flared as she glared at Sirius, boring holes into his head as she reached for her wand. His jaw clenched as he looked away in an attempt to conceal the fear that now crept up on him.

"Not to mention this revolting muggle language you've picked up — why do you insist on degrading our family in  such a way? Clearly, civility doesn't work with the likes of you-"

"Mother." 

"Don't you interrupt me, Regulus," their mother hissed, turning her wand on Reggie. Sirius' eyes widened, his head jerking around in the direction of his younger brother.

"Please. We're going to miss the train," Regulus pleaded, "I can't be late, it's my first day."

Their mother faltered, her expression still grim as she lowered her wand, though she glanced at him still with suspecting eyes. "Fine, then."

Sirius' frown grew deeper, his eyebrows furrowing as he watched Reggie shuffle in an attempt to adjust his luggage that was probably heavier than him.

This wasn't ever how it worked... Sirius was the elder brother meant to be the one defending Regulus, not the other way around. Though as they apparated to King's Cross Station, he was thankful despite the absurdity of the action, as it would've no doubt been awkward to explain to his new friends why he suddenly looked like a stumbling corpse, drained of life and colour. Sirius supposed he appreciated Reggie for that.

── ✧ ──

IT SEEMED THAT SIRIUS' TENSE DEMEANOUR DISSIPATED the very millisecond they stopped foot on the train — immediately he grabbed Regulus' hand, beaming. "C'mon, you should meet my mates," his brother said, pulling him through the aisle.

Was it horrible of Regulus to find himself frustrated by this then? He loved his brother, he always would, but Sirius seemed so focused on what was making him happy, it clearly hadn't crossed his mind that perhaps Regulus didn't want to interact with a bunch of weird blood traitor boys.

In addition, his older brother's demeaning pestering all summer had left a bad taste in the boy's mouth. He understood, he did, that Sirius was desperate to protect him, but Regulus was eleven for Salazar's sake! He could handle himself. Besides, it was rapidly becoming clearer exactly who Sirius enjoyed being around more than him — one year at Hogwarts and his brother had apparently found himself better company with braver, funnier people than Regulus.

It truly annoyed the younger boy how elated his brother appeared to be right then, when he hadn't even actually seen his friends yet, even more so in comparison to Sirius' glum attitude throughout the entirety of the holidays. He was acting as if every one of his concerns had been washed away just like that, like nothing bad had happened that morning, or ever.

As if they were okay all of a sudden because his friends would be present, like he hadn't been critiquing Regulus for his decisions for weeks on end- Ugh. Sirius didn't get it. Regulus couldn't turn out with opinions such as his, it would hurt their mother tremendously. Someone had to make her proud, she deserved at least that, and Regulus could — no, he would —be the one to do that.

Sirius stopped outside of one of the train's compartments, glancing at Regulus encouragingly. Regulus grimaced, "I don't want to go in there, Sirius."

"Oh, don't be ridiculous, no one's gonna jump you, Reggie," he teased, prompting Regulus to frown as he brushed off his protest, "you can't be a loner forever."

The compartment door slid open just as he said this and a girl with brown skin stepped out, eyes widening when she saw the two of them standing there, "Sirius!" she exclaimed with a charming smile, "How was your summer?"

His brother shrugged, eyeing Regulus carefully, "It was fine." Regulus resisted the urge to scoff — fine was one way to put it.

"Oh, cool, okay." The girl looked between the two, pursing her lips. She could clearly sense the underlying tension that had been brewing between them all summer, no matter how much Sirius pretended it wasn't there. "This is Regulus, then?" she asked, her curious dark eyes settling on him as she did. Regulus blinked, and then quickly averted his gaze.

"Yeah. Reggie," came Sirius' response.

"Nice to meet you, I'm Mary." She held her hand out. He stared at it blankly.

"Macdonald?" he questioned. Mary nodded, looking over at Sirius hesitantly. "Okay," he muttered, opting not to make a habit out of bonding with Sirius' pretty friends. Regulus turned to his brother, already fed up with this, "Can I go now?" 

"He's feeling a bit moody right now. Sorry, Mac," Sirius said, ignoring his question and making a face at him, before offering his friend an apologetic look. 

Mary glanced at Regulus, her eyebrows furrowing, before turning to Sirius again, "It's okay. I'm gonna go find Marlene. See you."

"Come on. You could try to be nicer, Reggie," Sirius murmured once she'd left, as if he was reprimanding an immature child.

To a mudblood? Regulus wanted to say. Instead, he just followed his brother into the train compartment quietly, examining the two boys who sat inside and who had clearly been eavesdropping on their conversation.

"Want a chocolate frog?" One of the boys, a blonde, asked as soon as Sirius sat down next to the other spectacled one. Regulus took a seat beside him, by the window.

"Sure, Pete," Sirius grinned, grabbing two. "This is Reggie, by the way. Reg, Peter Pettigrew and James Potter," he introduced, offering him a frog.

"It's Regulus," he muttered, "and I'm not hungry."

"Big breakfast, huh?" James asked with a grin, leaning forward to look at him.

Regulus surveyed him, "No."

"Oh. Really? I did — my mum made parathas this morning," he offered.

"Fun." Instantly Regulus wasn't getting Potter's appeal, he honestly seemed a bit boring if anything.

"She's genuinely the best cook ever. Sirius, maybe you guys can come over during the summer? Pete always does. Then you can try some of my mum's parathas and meet my parents — they'd love you. I just know it."

Merlin, he thought, this guy didn't get a hint, did he? Regulus turned his attention to the window, rolling his eyes as his brother responded with enthusiasm.

"Hey guys, is Remus not a bit late?" the blonde boy, Pettigrew, asked, looking at his watch.

"Oh, I owled him. Said he's coming a few days late. His mum's sick again," Sirius responded casually. This actually caught Regulus' attention — why was Sirius owling his friends over the course of one little summer if he hadn't owled his own brother for a whole year?

"Mother said you're not supposed to owl halfbreeds." Regulus scowled.

Potter cocked an eyebrow, "Oi, don't call him that."

"I'll call him what I want," he retorted, increasingly irritated every time the boy spoke.

"Reggie, stop fussing," Sirius said with a frown, as if he'd done something wrong.

"It's Regulus!" he snapped, glaring at his brother. Why was he taking Potter's side?

"What are you acting so pissy for?"

"Maybe if you didn't drag me in here, I wouldn't be."

"You had a choice!"

Ha, that was a good one. "No I didn't. I told you I'm not talking to your dumb, impure friends."

"Okay, then leave!" Sirius snapped.

Regulus paused, shocked by this sudden betrayal. It was like that now? He stood up abruptly with an indignant huff. "I will!" He left the compartment, storming down the aisle with clenched fists and rushed into the train bathroom. Regulus locked the door, standing with his back against it.

He didn't understand why Sirius was putting these strangers on a higher level than him. He was supposed to be taking his side, no matter what Regulus did or said — whatever that had been simply wasn't fair. The Sirius Regulus knew never would have sided against him like that.

Except, the more he thought about it, the more shame he felt in place of annoyance. Merlin, why had he caused a scene like that in front of everyone? Now everyone was going to see him as the moody little brother with emotional issues, even if he was right. Regulus groaned, burying his face in his hands. Merlin, he truly was hopeless, wasn't he?

── ✧ ──

the way i had sooo much fun writing this we're getting to the good stuff now

22.12.23