"WHAT IS IT that you're looking for anyway?" Jesper asked when Nikolai dragged them into a rather expensive-looking shop. Brightly dressed mannequins stood in the display window, the clothes made of material not just anyone could afford. "I doubt you'll find clothing for a pirate here."

Nikolai's forehead wrinkled. "Clothing for a privateer," he corrected, then waved his hand in dismissal. "It's not for me, but for Freya. I want her to get it tailored to her body." At this, Inej raised a brow. She looked so out of place surrounded by the expensive blouses, skirts and dresses. She dressed in dim colours, which fit with the gowns meant for the richest women in the city, who wore darker colours and modest silhouettes, but the rest of the clothing was much more colourful, sometimes even blindingly bright.

Freya couldn't help but wonder how many wives of merchants indulged in the odd-coloured pieces of clothing. In Ravka, the more vibrant your clothing, the more expensive it was, which meant you were richer. It was an easy way to discern someone from the commoners. It was similar in Fjerda, though muted tones were also preferred there. It was strange that in a city so obsessed with commerce and profit, the rich didn't want to flaunt their wealth. They probably do so in other ways, she thought, you saw how ugly and rundown the Barrel was.

"Since when do privateers have enough money to tailor their clothing?" Inej asked, eyes roving the clothes on display. Freya knew she was right. A privateer might be able to afford more than the usual man, but to have things tailored? And in such an expensive store at that? She was surprised the shop assistant hadn't called the stadtwatch on them yet. The woman eyed them warily, so she didn't doubt she could do that if they put but one toe out of line.

"I know how to manage my money effectively," Nikolai replied without a second thought. Freya didn't know how he was so good at lying. She supposed it wasn't necessarily lying, since he didn't have unlimited funds being sent to him by the Ravkan royal family. It was more than enough to sustain him though, so it probably wasn't that hard to manage. "Besides, I'd do anything for our Sankta here."

Instantly, Freya punched him in the arm and he muffled his chuckle with the back of a gloved hand.

"Do you have to buy her things here, though?" Henrik asked, leaning over the bolts of fabric hung on the walls. This store must've been renowned because there were hardly any specific pieces to buy. People truly came here only to get clothing tailored specifically for them, and they probably already knew that the shop owner and his workers were very good. Freya supposed that's why Nikolai picked this place. "Ghezen! A hundred kruge for one meter of fabric?"

Henrik sounded absolutely appalled, and well, Freya couldn't exactly blame him. She didn't think she wanted to wear such expensive material when there were people in the world starving and suffering.

"That is a bolt of silk imported from Shu Han, of course it's expensive!" Nikolai rolled his eyes. He was right, the silk looked more like a thin layer of spiderwebs than anything else, the telltale sign of Shu craftsmanship. "I doubt a coat would be much use if it was made out of that."

Freya raised a brow. "You've decided I'm to get a coat have you?" She eyed him as he grinned and ran his hand down the lapels of his long teal frock. "You want us to match?" At this, his eyes glinted. The muddled green colour of them was fading and the hazel was shining through. Something similar was happening with his hair too, the reddish tint was almost gone.

"It would certainly send a message," Nikolai laughed, tossing an arm around her shoulders and leading her towards the shopkeeper. "What colour would you wear? You can have anything you want." To her surprise, she answered without a second thought.

"Blue and violet." The syllables rolled off her tongue, tasting sickly sweet. She thought of the kefta she'd had to sell, the blue fabric that was washed out with sea salt and the embroidery that was torn, as purple as the queen's amethysts. It was part of her, even if she did not want it. An identity, forever woven into her being. The only identity she'd ever have now.

Surprise flickered in Nikolai's eyes, but he nodded without questioning her.

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:* 　　 *:･ﾟ✧*:･ﾟ✧

The bed sheets were soft beneath her skin, the first taste of luxury she had since the day she'd left the Little Palace before her abduction. Nikolai had refused to allow her to sleep in a random Barrel tavern, and so she found herself in one of the nicest hotels that the city of Ketterdam had to offer.

Everything was made of silk or velvet, she noticed, and one too many things which glittered gold. It wasn't much different from her room in the Little Palace though. She hadn't even realised how used to opulence and splendour she'd gotten until now. She stretched herself out like a cat in the sun, finally able to relax after months.

The door to the private ensuite bathroom opened and steam rolled into the room, followed shortly by a freshly washed Nikolai who repeatedly brought a towel through his hair. The tailoring had completely faded now, save for the slightly odd and out of place reddish tint to his hair, but that was barely visible in the golden light of the lamps. He grinned as he saw her splayed out on the bed.

"Enjoying yourself, are you?" She hummed her answer, pushing herself up so she could properly look at him. His shirt had long been discarded, and she allowed herself to admire him. His skin was tanned gold, but she found it wasn't so different from the tone it had been before when he was still a prince, and then a soldier. His physique had certainly not changed. She'd even say that he'd somehow gained even more muscle.

And he seemed so much more relaxed now, surrounded by the glamour of a Ketterdam hotel suite rather than his own bedchamber in the Grand Palace.

"I think I forgot how a soft bed felt like," she sighed, playing with tips of her hair, now loose and brushed to perfection. "If its one thing I miss about the Little Palace, it is that." Nikolai raised a brow, dropping the towel onto a cushioned chair before climbing onto the bed beside her.

"Not your friends?" he asked, a teasing note to his voice, though she knew the question was entirely serious. "I could try and find out some information, you know? If that is what you want?" Did she want to know about her friends? She definitely missed them, feeling their absence like an ache in her bones. She recalled the scent of Zoya's perfume, the feeling of her breath as she laughed and it fanned out across Freya's face. Her fingers drifted to the silver fox bracelet David had given her, and couldn't shake the sudden urge to listen to him ramble on for hours.

And Djel, how could she not want to hear about Luca? She wondered how he was doing, after that horrible winter fete. She could still feel the stickiness of his blood on her body, the paleness of his skin that was so much more deathly and peculiar than the usual pearlescence of it. The last time she'd seen him, he'd been so terrified of what she'd say. After she'd touched his skin, merely grazed it with her fingers, and felt that foreign burst of power so unlike her own, yet hers all the same. He'd sent her away, and she'd gone, because it was his wish. Would she have done the same, had she known it would be the last time she saw him? She blinked back tears, shaking her head.

"I do not want to think of that right now," she said, wrapping a hand around the back of his neck and pulling him towards her. He fell forward, not expecting the sudden forced. She grinned, letting herself be splayed onto her back as his body covered hers. "You promised me something, didn't you?"

Nikolai blinked, confused. Then his eyes widened and he grinned, though it was more sly than it was arrogant this time. He brushed away her pale hair from her neck, running his nose down the skin there.

"Who would I be if I didn't keep my promise?" he asked, and then she felt his tongue on her neck as he kissed her just beneath her jaw. A shiver coursed through Freya's body. Her nails dug into his shoulder, holding him in place. "What is it you want, milaya?"

Freya let out a shuddering breath. "You," she gasped, one hand cupping his jaw and bringing his face to hers so she could look at him in the dim gold light of the room. "All of you. I want everything." Show me how much you truly love me, she didn't say, though she knew he understood it well enough.

And that is exactly what Nikolai did. Every touch of his hand, every slide of his naked body against her own, every wet and hot trail his tongue left on her, she basked in it all, and she relished in it. The pleasure was all-encompassing, so hot it burned her from the inside out. She drank it all up like she was a dying man in a desert, seeking the smallest reprieve, only to get blessed by the gods and be given the gift of life.

Because that was what Nikolai was to her, really. He was the only way for her to feel alive, to burn like the sun and flow like the rivers. With him, she could ride the air currents of distant winds and taste the ambrosia of his love. He whispered it into her skin, gasped it into her ear as he panted above her, breathed it into her lips as they kissed.

When it was over and he lay beside her, chest rising and falling with heavy breaths and skin glistening with his sweat, she felt more sated and complete than she ever did before. She waited for them both to cool down before she rolled onto her side, pressing herself against him and resting her head on his chest. With her finger, she traced various shapes on his pectoral muscle.

"I love you more than anything," she admitted, though she was sure he already knew. "Never forget that." His breath stuttered out of him and it took a while for him to say anything as he just lay there, clutching her body to his with his strong arm. He pressed a kiss to her hair.

"I think you're the first person to ever say and truly mean it," he said, and it broke her heart in two. She cuddled closer to him, holding onto him like he was the only thing in the world that mattered. To some extent, it was true. All her friends were too far away, little more than a mirage crafted by memories. And her brother... poor, sweet Matthias who was little more than a murderer now. Nikolai was all she had, and it would be a long time before that changed ever again. Barely a year ago, she'd thought she'd lost him. When she left him in the snow-blanketed gardens of the Grand Palace, she'd never expected to see him again like this. As a person he cared for, as his lover.

"Nothing will ever change the way I feel about you," she swore, lifting her head to meet his eye. "I will be yours, even if there are a dozen seas separating us." Nikolai cupped her jaw with his large hand, tracing his thumb over the burn scar. His gentle touch sent lightning bolts up her spine. Such softness was something she'd never expected to have after the nightmare of her village burning. Her father had always been kind to her mother, and he'd been just as careful with Freya and Skadi. But then he'd burned, and she became the very thing he'd used his bare hands to kill.

"I love you," Nikolai breathed, and she knew it was the pure, unaltered truth. She dipped down to kiss him softly, basking in the feeling of his lips against her own.

After that, the Siren rarely left the Captain's side.

A/N

I have literally no excuse for not updating for so long 😃 let's just say writer's block has been kicking my ass with this book. I also struggled a lot with writing the "smut" scene for Freyolai, because I couldn't decide if I wanted it to be explicit or not. In the end I decided it didn't really fit Shadow and Bone (god knows I've written EXPLICIT smut for my hotd and historical fics) so it's very mild instead.

Next chapter is going to have a time jump in it so we can actually get into S1 of the show! The updates are gonna be further apart probably because I need to write S1 for Luca's book as well and since he's an actual part of the plot and not just in the background like Freya and Nikolai are, he has far more chapters and I don't want to accidentally spoil things through Freya's POV or vice versa