-rainydqys-

Firstly, I want to say thank you for letting me review your story. I know it is personal, and I hope that you are doing better now. With a subject like this, I want to mention that my critiques are not to demean or aimed towards your experiences ("your story isn't valid" etc), it is just to improve the actual short story itself. With that, lets move on to the review.

I am only going to focus on what you told me to review, but if you'd like me to critique other parts I am happy to do so. The main thing was to focus on the transition from normal to dark, basically; the turn of events. It's certainly not easy to do.

Considering this is a short story, I understand there may not be any extreme details or explanations, which is totally okay. However, when Autumn discovers she's been cheated on, I feel like there needs to be more. Just... more. It changes all of a sudden from this to that, and it feels rushed. While it is short, it is not meant to be rushed or fast paced. It moves from
"normal→ sad, she's sad, depressing.". There needs to be more depth when it comes to her emotions in that exact moment. Really, the only line we get about her emotions in the moment is "Pain blossomed in Autumn's heart". The rest is just about how she feels after she's left. To add even more description and connection to her feelings and reactions, you could place some more detail there.

The main issue with the whole turn of events is that it just seems rushed. She goes from discovering she's been cheated on and abandoned to a just sudden depression. Go into more specifics. Instead of just "days later... day after day... days passed", you could do certain dates (if that makes sense. I'll try to explain the best I can haha). The day or night directly after the incident... how did she feel then? Is there a special date, like a birthday (hers or one of her ex friends), an anniversary, or something similar that you could explain her feelings? How did she feel on those days, knowing what day it was (ex: her ex friends bday- instead of it being fun and exciting like it used to, now it's painful and lonely)? Or, go into weeks or months. Show how the character gradually gets worse mentally over time. Although you do incorporate some of this already, I feel that it could be so much more. A story like this should make you feel and/or connect to the character. The emotions need to be portrayed strongly, and portray her mental state gradually dropping.

It's mainly a matter of just slowing it down and trying not to rush it. I think this could help convey the turning point much more powerful, and allow for an even deeper story. While these are only just suggestions, I think it could help improve it.

That's about all I have to say for this one. Take my criticism with a grain of salt: it's your own story, a very real and personal one, so make it your own. Again, thank you for letting me review your story, and I appreciate your patience.