4 | Dancing with Trolls

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Location: The Trollshaws, Middle Earth

Time: May 2941 T.A

Speaking of Rivendell, it was possibly another couple of days ride to the hidden valley.

How Illyria knew of this, was not Gandalf, but from Bilbo. The hobbit spoke of his mother, Belladonna Baggins (once known as Took before marrying Bilbo's father, Bungo) and her own adventures beyond the Shire. That perked up some interesting questions from the youngest dwarves and Bilbo was flustered by the attention brought to him.

Illyria calmed the boys down and let Bilbo explain his mother's stories, how she visited Ered Luin and Rivendell as well, learning mostly Sindarin and a bit of Quenya from the elves. That was how Bilbo knew how to speak it (and thank the gods for Belladonna Baggins for teaching her son).

Though as the conversation took a turn of disgust because of the topic, Bilbo dropped the topic and returned to their daily lessons of Westron.

By sunset, Illyria's eyes almost snapped ahead of her.

It was the farmer's destroyed hut.

And Illyria knew what that meant.

Trolls.

She might as well as ripped her hair off because Thorin Oakenshield had to piss off Gandalf the Grey out of all the bloody days they needed a wizard. She might as well click her heels, wish to go home and then go and live off this world of Oz. (And her poor references of stories need to be updated because there is more in the 21st Century than just avocado toast and weird TikTok trends). [1]

'I wonder if I can take Gordon Ramsay here and make him shout at Thorin for an entire hour?' Illyria wondered sarcastically, 'Might make great content for his account.' [2]

Gods, she must be going insane if she was thinking about this.

Whilst Gandalf stalked off after having enough of dwarves for almost a month, Thorin stomped off and barked out orders. He even had to audacity to make her move, and she silently followed despite her own growing irritation by the time she got some firewood and tended to Nala.

"Who the hell does he think he is?" Illyria spoke to herself, letting Nala munch on her food. Luckily, she was alone and kept her horse closer than the other ponies. She wasn't going to let Nala loose.

The horse seemed to agree.

"I know right," She said, "I definitely think he needs to get laid."

Once she returned to the camp, she found Kili and Fili AND Bilbo already gone, and she groaned internally about how stupid she had been. Her own anger at Thorin led her to forget the very reason how they almost became a Troll Buffet.

As much as the majority of the dwarves either hating her or ignoring her: she doesn't want them dead.

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Fili was the first one to appear from the trees, breathless and panicky whilst Kili followed behind. She was already upon her feet as she demanded where Bilbo was. Why did they even leave him behind?

However, her own anger at them turned to worry as all of the dwarves grabbed their weapons and followed Fili through. She was about to follow on but Balin stopped her.

"Illyria, get Tharkun." Balin told her.

No one told her what to do. Especially when her friend needed her! "No! I need to get Bilbo!" Illyria protested but was stopped by Thorin.

The king ordered, "Get Tharkun!" With his glare, she stopped and rigidly nodded.

When they were gone, she growled and tightened her hold on her staff. Waving her hand, she began packing the camp up and went to place them in a pile. She couldn't exactly assure the ponies to stay, knowing who else was about to join them.

But right now, Bilbo Baggins and the Dwarves needed help.

"Argh. Stupid dwarves." She cursed before sighing to herself. "Alright, I'm going to get him." Getting onto Nala, she told the horse to go as fast as she could to the direction Gandalf wandered off.

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Nala had luckily caught up to Gandalf's own horse, who was eating some grass whilst the wizard was smoking a pipe. To be honest, she wasn't sure what she was turning up to but seeing the old wizard just chilling almost made her choke out a laugh. Gandalf the Grey had to be the pure definition of a side character that takes the spotlight.

(Okay, she should tone down the remarks. Even in this situation.)

Her hasty entrance caught Gandalf off, standing up already as she stayed up on Nala's back.

"Gandalf!" She took a breath, calling his name as he strode towards her.

Concern filled his eyes as he glanced up to her, "Illyria? What is wrong?"

"Trolls; we must hurry." She told him, urging him to follow her back. "They got Bilbo and probably the dwarves too." The grey wizard didn't need to be told twice, already hopping onto his horse and galloped along with Nala and Illyria to where she last found the dwarves and Bilbo.

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If the dwarves had not yet been eaten yet: Illyria was so going to kill each of them. They were the epitome of constant trouble and not the most quick-minded race she met. The talking raccoon from outer space would account for about a hundred times the amount of the Company's own brain capacity.

So, for the first twenty minutes after arriving where the camp was, Gandalf suggested splitting up and scout the perimeter of the Troll's camp, trying to discover where each dwarf was located and how they were going to get them out. Illyria nodded in silence, though not admitting the truth as to why she seemed calmer than he expected her to be.

He'll find out soon enough. Perhaps might knock Thorin's head a couple of times once he praises Bilbo for killing time for them.

She sighed in relief to see them not charred, limbless or eaten yet. Though, her nose immediately crinkles in disgust when the waft of stench hit her like a tsunami. The trolls themselves were larger than she expected - about twice her height and incredibly round and barely clothed.

Who else was barely clothed would have to be the dwarves.

Several of them were tied upon a makeshift rotisserie rod above a fire, barking insults in a mix of Westron and...maybe Khuzdul? Their harsh accents didn't need a quick translation that it was far from a compliment to the trolls.

The trolls were arguing with each other still, suggesting what style of dwarf they wanted that night. It was when Bilbo finally hopped in his sack to catch their attention, trying to warn the trolls that they were making a mistake.

Well, the mention of worms set the entire camp raging.

'Serves them right,' Illyria smirked to herself but was quickly chortled by Gandalf. It would seem the wizard wasn't as far as she perceived to be. 'Alright, so Bilbo's stalling. How long can he be able to do that?'

Gandalf answered back, 'Not for too long. Dawn is arriving fairly soon.'

Sighing from her position, she shook her head in displeasure. Illyria couldn't just sit and wait when Bilbo was practically risking his entire life there for the Company. One of the trolls somehow realised the trick already, silencing the dwarves and Bilbo.

Her blood froze.

One of the trolls already picked up Bilbo.

'Oh, fuck it!' She exasperated and eyed the ring on her gloved hand and concentrated on the spot above the trolls. Her entire mind was fixated on creating the portal, feeling the tingle up her arms as her entire body warmed.

At that moment, a spark emitted.

Her sling ring was working again. She guessed it had just been entirely on her energy.

She didn't realise the growing murmurs just beyond the bushes she hid, as she spotted the top of the troll's head from beyond the portal and readied her staff.

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Illyria took the first troll down, blinding its eyes before slashing its arm off. Bilbo fell with a thump onto the ground as she landed by the feet of the two and sent another flash of white light towards them. They suddenly roared in shock and pain, their arms quickly covering their eyes. With time given, she conjured a red glowing whip from her hand.

"What witchcraft is this?" One of the trolls questioned.

A growl left the other's mouth, "A she-elf! Eat her!"

Illyria internally sighed; they need to stop comparing her to an elf.

"Oh, hell you won't!" She gritted her teeth and waved the whip at them. The whip's end wrapped against the troll's legs, binding one. Illyria took that opportunity to tug the whip towards her, causing the next troll to fall over the other. Two down, one to go.

At this moment, Illyria was beginning to feel her energy depleting and yet she took her staff by both hands in the middle. Twisting the two parts of the staff, out came two golden blades attached at each end of the staff. With a deep breath, she stepped above the fallen trolls and leapt and aimed her staff at the troll's head.

What she hoped would decapitate didn't seem to have any effect. In fact, half of the blade only went through, causing her to retract her blades and yank it back.

Suddenly, the troll's hand swiped her body off the ground, and Illyria struggled under its grasp.

"Let the dawn take you all!" Gandalf's voice bellowed through the camp.

There was a large crack. And the troll's body began to harden into stone. A second later, Illyria took a deep breath and formed a small blast of light in the palm of her hand. The troll's hand crumbled around her and she fell onto the ground with a thud – with staff thudding by her side.

She didn't need to look at the dwarves to already imagine the dropped jaws and horrified looks at her.

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This was the very reason why she hid her magic.

The dwarves were barking questions, demanding who she was and what she was (hello, she was very human, thank you!). Illyria only got them to shut up when she snapped at them, telling them to put something decent on which led to all of them going red and rushing to put their clothes on.

She wasn't embarrassed, no. Naked dwarves on a roasting rod were not in her list of things to see here in Middle Earth but it was better than seeing them dead.

Speaking of being almost dead, she thanked Gandalf for saving her in time – telling him that she knew he would find the right moment to break the large outcrop of rock. He raised an eyebrow at that but didn't speculate any further. She guessed this was the maia's way to some sort of agreement of their show but not tell situation.

Whilst the wizard went off to investigate further down into the forest, she went over to Nala who was perfectly fine just at the perimeter of the camp and thanked the dear horse for staying put. All of the Company's packs weren't lost, the only one being Dori (surprisingly) who thanked her for keeping their belongings safe.

Well at least saving the dwarves changed some perspective.

Though the consequences of her own spectacle were even more suspicion and the bombarding of questions. Though not the ones she expected.

"That was incredible! Your staff is amazing." Kili bounced towards her, eyeing her weapon that was now slung across her shoulder with its strap.

Ori, was the other curious dwarf to approach her, politely asking her, "Are you a wizard? Like Gandalf?"

The youngest Durin brother's eyes were wide and pleading, saying: "I promise I won't call it a walking stick anymore, Illyria."

She raised an eyebrow and smirked. Just a week ago when they were sparring (well she wasn't sparring but mostly spectating the boys teaching Bilbo how to fight with a sword), the Durin brothers asked if she wanted to spar with them. At first, she was very tempted to do so, but watching them brutally break Bilbo's muscled down into gloop kind of put her off from sparring with them. She wasn't entirely a fighter, often using her magic for defence than attacking.

Also, she wasn't going to reveal herself during a spar that she was a sorceress. That would just completely give her the one-way trip out of Thorin's Company. No, she would be patient until something happened to them. This was the day, she assumed.

Illyria also knew why Kili was apologising to her – remembering the exact words from his mouth about her staff being 'a walking stick for ladies'.

How the hell does this boy get a girl in this story?

Shaking her head, she assured the young dwarf that all was fine between the two of them. To be fair, she appreciated that Fili, Kili and Ori were fine about it. "It's alright, Kili." However, her moment of relief was paused by the rumbling of the ground.

"Something is coming."

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Whilst the rest had stayed at the troll hoard to take what was left there (Illyria had immediately declined the offer; because she could already sense the horrid smell from yards away and didn't want to know how bad it could get), she was with Gandalf who already discovered his own blade which she recognised by its elven writing carved across it.

Glamdring, one of the famous blades in the story along with Orcrist – now in the hands of Thorin. With them was Bilbo's (and in the future, Frodo's) small blade: Sting. Obviously, the kind and gentle hobbit denied the weapon from Gandalf's hands but the wizard's reassurance and Thorin's shocking gesture had Bilbo tongue-tied and sheathed it into her belt. Illyria's heart warmed at the brave face the hobbit wore after intake of breath.

She was seeing a new and good side of Bilbo Baggins already.

Kili and Fili had found her some spare daggers for her, and she thanked them profusely for them, exchanging the daggers for a promise to give them a little magic show. (Much to her dismay. But the two hadn't stopped pestering her to show them what sort of tricks she could do.)

Apparently, she was now a circus on the road as well, but the only clown in this show could only be herself.

Anyways.

What she thought to have been an enemy discovering them, underprepared by some stone trolls, was the character she was not prepared to see.

"Radagast the Brown." Gandalf's confused tone as he walked over to the shorter man urged Illyria to hover over to them, keeping Nala to carry her pack on her back.

The brown wizard appeared to be the same as she imagined, with wide bulging eyes and lichens and moss growing in places there shouldn't be. His brown and green robes dragged around him, the colour matching the sledge behind him.

If she hadn't been ogling the creatures strapped onto the front of the sledge she would be staring awkwardly at the new wizard. A wizard that somehow felt familiar as well.

"Gandalf...oh my..." Radagast's eyes almost lit up in happiness, nodding his head before speaking, "My lady, how are you..."

Well, this is awkward. Illyria smiled politely, internally pleading for the grey wizard to save her from embarrassment.

"This is Illyria Strange." Gandalf introduced her quickly, and she nodded down.

There was a fraction where Radagast seemed a little deflated (and slightly confused) before clearing his throat and said, "Well met, my lady."

Her tongue rolled back, snapping her mouth as she saw the insect crawl out of his mouth.

She really wished she wasn't part of this scene at all.

"Hello." Illyria greeted and bit her lip. "Um, you have something on your..."

Gandalf mentally sighed, sending her biting away her laughter.

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Let's refer back again to the dwarves' hostility but make it ten times more of a threat. So after almost getting attacked by two wargs, these large wolf-like creatures that were the size of Land Rovers but with sharp teeth: another sharp object was pointed at her. [3]

Specifically, at her throat.

Illyria was entirely surprised at this outcome, thought just mostly tired and fed up at Thorin's act despite his nephews' being close to her for the past month. Never has she encountered such stubbornness – hell she thought Tony was stubborn when an idea sticks to him such as creating suits for his entire family which apparently included her and Darcy.

However, this person in front of her wasn't Tony Stark. This was Thorin Oakenshield, king of Erebor.

"Wargs. You did this, sorceress?" He jabbed his sword at her, making her flinch her head away. She wasn't expecting him to yank her wrist down, pulling her down to an uncomfortable bent position.

Bilbo rushed towards her, asking why he had her down. Giving the hobbit a warning look, he kept silent as Illyria waiting for the dwarf king to cool down. She wasn't going agitate him any better, not when they really needed to get out of here!

"Unhand her now, Thorin Oakenshield," Gandalf ordered him, tapping his staff down harshly on the ground. His loud echoing voice caught the others with surprise, slightly afraid by the wizard's voice and growing anger.

Yes, she could clearly tell the wizard was annoyed. It won't be the last time for him to be.

But Thorin didn't budge, still scowling at her. What was he intending this to make her do: stare at her with his blue eyes until she revealed her evil secrets to him.

Finally, Illyria nonchalantly spoke to the Thorin in his head, her eyes never leaving his. "I suggest you do, Oakenshield. Unless I cut your arm with my staff," Her head nudged over to her hobbit friend, who was still standing between them. "Sadly, Bilbo's rather fond of you."

She heard a layer of gasps.

Perhaps she said the last bit aloud by how red Bilbo's cheeks were.

Thorin jerked away with widened eyes, his hand falling at his head.

He barked back at her in Westron, "You twist my mind of your magic." Thorin continued, glancing over at Bilbo. "I never should have brought you and the hobbit."

Whilst he was still taken back by her mental conversation, Illyria stood back up and gazed down at him with a smile – hiding her own satisfaction. Though it didn't last long when another howl drowned her thoughts.

She hurled a remark mentally back at Thorin, who shot her a glare though less intense as before. "Now the dwarf knows. Well done, dipstick." Illyria narrowed her eyes at him before walking away to get to Nala. "Yeah, I know what you say behind my back! Now you either you listen to me and get everyone's asses out of here!"

The dwarf king didn't respond back at her, instead begrudgingly ordered the rest to get their packs. No one had much noticed apart from Illyria, that the king took a little more time to urge Bilbo to run ahead.

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They were running over an open field, their packs bouncing off their backs as she tugged Nala along from the back of the Company. The ground was saturated with water, making her boots sink into the ground as mud splashed over her clothes. She was glad that she was wearing the right footwear for running, as the last time she had done some running was in heels when she was running late for her interview.

But with orcs and wargs chasing her, she would take heels and a late interview any day.

At the distance, she could spot the brown wizard racing through the open field with his wooden sledge. Radagast gave the diversion they could handle, allowing them to escape the confined forests towards what she hoped was the hidden elven city.

As she jogged on, she exclaimed breathlessly, "Those are rabbits!"

"It... appears...so," Bilbo panted, out of breath and appearing to almost pass out. However, she brought Bilbo back up, tugging his hand along. The rest were up ahead, hiding behind an outcrop of rock.

"If they're rabbits, how big are guinea pigs?" She wondered aloud, before sarcastically pointing out. "Well, this isn't the most surprising thing I've done."

Bilbo gave her a sharp look, snorting out. "I'll say, what you did with your magic-"

"Less talking, more running Bilbo." She ushered before she then heard a horn cry out. More orcs are coming. Illyria panned her eyes across the desolate late, before removing the reigns off her and told the equestrian animal. "Nala, I want you to go into the valley. Go!"

The horse didn't follow all at once, bucking her head at her side – telling her that she should get on her now. Illyria wished she could, but the rest needed help and she would not abandon them now.

So with last urge, Nala followed in the end and took her pack and belongings and raced towards the mountains eastwards.

"It can understand you?" Bilbo questioned, eyeing the figure of Nala disappearing through the trees.

Illyria tightened her grip on her staff, preparing herself mentally as she heard more orcs and wargs grow closer around them. She could only hope that Gandalf would discover the hidden entrance to the valley soon.

"Somehow she can do it now." She muttered and yanked Bilbo with her. "And I hope she outruns those douchebags."

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The orcs were beginning to appear around them, sending a cold run through her heart at the numbers. Kili had shot the one above them, sending the warg tumbling down before Dwalin and Nori killed its rider with it. But with that, they had accidentally put a big red light on them causing the orcs to find them jumping over the rocky ground towards Gandalf's guidance.

Once they made it towards what seemed to be a large outcrop of rock, she found herself with the company surrounded by orcs and wargs. Illyria tugged Bilbo behind her back, protecting the hobbit as an arrow flew across her at an inch.

"This way, you fools!" Gandalf shouted, and their heads turned to him where he stood.

Closer they got, Thorin ordered the rest to follow the grey wizard down the hole. All it took was one glance at Bilbo to make him rush down along with the others, with Kili following suit after shooting an orc. Thorin stayed close to the opening, slicing a warg down with his new shiny sword and clearly a little pleased by its performance.

Honestly: men and their swords.

As for one dwarf, Ori was somehow left in the open: with his little slingshot that poked an orc in the eye with far little damage. He was terrified, she could feel in his mind and she groaned internally and shouted back,

"Oh for heaven's sake!" Illyria held her ground, "Ori, go through now!"

Ori rushed past her. She conjured an Eldritch shield in front of her just as an arrow bounced off its surface and disintegrated. There was a shriek of surprise from the creatures, probably never seeing a sorceress with these type of powers in this world.

Thorin shouted behind her from the opening, "Get in here now!"

Illyria ignored his command, turning her head towards him and said to follow Gandalf through his mind.

To her own surprise, Thorin hesitated. But a final go from her Illyria let him disappear into the hole. She could only hope he could keep Bilbo safe.

From here, you would think Illyria Strange was outnumbered. That would be the orcs' mistake.

She cracked her neck to the side and said, "Okay. You want to dance with me then? I'll show you what's dancing."

In the palm of her hand, a familiar golden tint form in her hand. Afterwards, two beautiful runic rings are in front of her, she then uttered a spell and sent a spiral of golden energy. The warg fell easily down, sending the rider onto the ground with a thud.

Illyria took her staff and twisted it, revealing its golden lit blades at each send. Sparks of magic flew around her as she twirled and danced – slicing every orc and warg around. She felt alive, swiping the end of her staff. The exhilarating and terrifying feeling as her heart pumped in a beat as she sent a beam of light towards another – blinding them.

As another orc drew their arrow, she slung her staff down and formed a large Eldritch shield, a large mandala drawing over her as arrows flew to her.

Once the shield faded away, it was her turn. She leapt towards the racing warg hurling at her, slicing its head with one swift movement. When she did so, it was only then she heard a horn echo around her before she heard the galloping of horses.

The elves were here.

Arrows flew across the air, shooting the orc right beside her and Illyria mentally grumbled to herself. (She hoped they weren't aiming at her even if she perhaps looked like one of them after a lack of proper washing).

She had caught herself off guard that she gasped suddenly. An orc had almost got her neck but was stopped by a silver blade at its throat.

The orc slumped to the ground with a splatter of blood. All of them were dead.

The person who slew the orc before stood in front, making her face them with a clear view.

Illyria was then met with grey eyes.

Then the world spun around her, sending her eyes rolling back and her entire body crumbling against her own entire weight.

By the moment she thought she would hit her head again on the floor, the person had caught her in time. A voice began to linger over her, almost pleading in some way.

"........! Stay with me, ......mírë!" Their voice was close though far at the same time. "Meleth nîn...Please do not repeat the same thing again..."

As their voice got quieter, she finally felt herself succumb to her exhaustion. [4]

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[1] - TikTok: A social media platform. It the citation for me.[2] - Gordon Ramsay: A British chef famous worldwide.[3] - Land Rover: A British car brand.[4] - Meleth nîn: my love in Sindarin.

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A/N: Wasn't long for the elves to get here. And I definitely found writing that scene to be hilarious, especially how I expected the dwarves to react with her magic. And as always, cranky Thorin is always on his man-period. 

Thank you again for reading. :)

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Edited: 05/06/2021