"Suspended! You're lucky she didn't expel you James" the boy chuckled slightly as he pulled his tie off and turned and looked at Maeve. "I only got like a few days, besides it just means a little vacation until I can come back. I'm still going on that trip to France anyways, just gotta hitch a ride with someone else is all. Me and Andrew are gonna totally bring you back some cool stuff, he'll likely be more excited than me".

"I'm kinda surprised you're even going, the price was way too much for me" Andrew climbed into the passenger seat as he smirked, "I told you, we're hitching a ride another way. I'm practically going there for free, just gotta buy gas. Me and Andrew already bought snacks for the road. You could tag along if you'd like, it's not like we'll get in trouble. It's just like a vacation, and I got suspended so I wouldn't have been able to go anyways".

The loud chatter of shouting and cheering made James frown deeply "what's going on now!". He got out of the car, he could see a group of kids all surrounding along the entrance way of the school. "You reckon someone's fighting? I totally gotta see this".

He ran toward the crowd pushing through people and his eyes widened at the sight of Daisy and Ruby. The girls were fighting like wild cats, Ruby screamed as she punched the girl and pushed her into the grass harshly "you bitch!". James ran toward the girls "hey! Break it up already" he grabbed a hold of Ruby tugging her off of Daisy.

He shouted when Daisy stood up and punched Ruby, making the girl kick the air like crazy. James struggled as he quickly pushed Ruby behind him "enough!" They both looked at him as he looked at them like they were crazy. "I don't even have to be an idiot to figure out what this is about. It's clearly about me".

Ruby huffed "don't be so stupid, nothing these days is even remotely about you". James sighed deeply "clearly it is if you're causing fights, in case you didn't learn the first time. You're the one who ended our relationship, I can sleep with whoever I want".

"Why did you have to do it with her! She's a skank! She's only using you so her mother will pay attention to her!". Daisy moved forward angrily and James moved in front of her to stop her "look, you're both being ridiculous, we're all individually capable of seeing and sleeping with whoever we want. So don't go judging me Ruby, when you did far worse".

Daisy swung at Ruby again hitting the girl in the side of her head. "Bitch!" Ruby pushed James out of the way as she pounced on Daisy. The girl yelled as she landed on the ground in a heap. The cheering and chants of "fight" entered the atmosphere.

James wiped the dirt off his jumper as he quickly stood up and pulled Ruby off of Daisy. She kicked at the air as James angrily forced her to walk away. "Stop acting like a child!" he held onto her arm gently as he led her away from Daisy.

Ruby moved back "you're the one who's being childish!" he pinched his nose as he looked down at her. "What are you trying to accomplish here Ruby? You think fighting that girl will make you feel better? She didn't even deserve that, Daisy doesn't deserve that at all, she's nice and kind".

"She's using you for some stupid game against me James, why can't you just see that! Why can't you just see that I still care about your wellbeing".

"If you still cared you wouldn't have cheated on me or left me out here all alone! You still have Otis, go running back to him for all I care. You're being reckless Ruby, and I won't stand for it".

"You don't get to say that, not when you're being reckless too. I've seen the way you've been acting, the way you're lying to everyone around you. You're destroying yourself James". She pulled his sleeve upwards harshly and he grabbed a hold of her wrists to stop her "you're using again, you're gonna get yourself killed one of these days".

"I stopped... I'm getting better for Andrew's sake" he tugged his arm back as Ruby sighed deeply. "You're lying, I can see it in your eyes. You were always a bad liar, where is it? Where did you hide it this time!".

James huffed "I don't have any, why do you even care so much what I do with my life. I can destroy myself perfectly fine on my own, I don't need you helping me do it by making me feel more shitty".

"You're gonna turn into the one thing you don't want, they'll take Andrew away from you. You'll just be helpless and alone. The one thing you don't want".

"Then why the fuck did you leave? Everything was perfect, I was sober and happy and then you just went and ruined it all. I bet you're really happy now, Otis is filling up the hole I left behind".

"I told him I loved him" James rolled his eyes "and I bet he told you it in a heartbeat, he'd be an idiot if he said otherwise, because you're Ruby Matthews".

"He broke up with me, after everything I did. He meant my dad and... it just meant nothing to him. He's too obsessed with Maeve to even notice me".

"It's always gonna go back to Maeve with him Ruby, those two are practically in love with each other and they're both afraid to say it. We had a good thing Ruby, and then it just all ended".

Ruby sighed deeply as she looked at James "maybe it was never meant to be. We both knew it wouldn't have lasted forever, we were doomed from the start".

"It was only doomed because you made it that way, you always give up on anything remotely good in your life. You didn't give it a chance, which is exactly why we can't work out together, Otis was an idiot and you were too for even dating him. He didn't give you anything, all that attention you were craving, it's gone and now you're over here trying to get mine".

"It worked didn't it, you're here" he was silent as he pushed his bag over his shoulder more "then watch me leave, because I don't want this. You really messed me up Rubes, I mean that's rare for me. No one's ever broken my heart before, but you did. You crashed it into a million pieces and I can't put it back together".

He bit his lip to hold back his tears as he looked away from Ruby. He could hear the way she cried, he felt the warmth of her breath along his cheek as she hugged him desperately. The world kept spinning, a never ending loop of tears and despair.

He wanted to latch onto Ruby, to feel the world stop for once. His head burned as he pinched his eyes shut, he felt the tug in his chest. Felt the ropes around his heart snapping as he grasped onto Ruby's face with such strength he felt his fingers ache.

He kissed her so deeply he could taste her tears as her arms clinged onto him. Ruby cried softly as she pushed her lips more into his, the world had stopped spinning. Those two parallel lines drew still as the flames around them melted away into smoke.

The crumbled paper turned into creases as it flattened into the air. The world had grown silent, the warmth that James desperately sought out had returned. The boy almost held it in his grasps, he could feel the shift of it all. He was so close to being himself again, and then the world began to spin again.

The flames brightened and he could feel the tears running down his cheeks as he let go of Ruby and walked away. He couldn't breathe as he cried, he felt like his chest was gonna explode as he walked home. He knew she was watching him, that same feeling of dread lingered along her lips, guilt? Shame?

James didn't know what the world meant anymore, whether it was beautiful or disastrous. He blinked, he could feel the gears in his head spinning like crazy. The world can be a beautiful place, it could hold such wonderful memories and moments.

They could last forever if you keep your mind open, James felt like the world was burning as he walked into his bedroom. He counted inside his head how many seconds he had felt his heart shatter, he counted the tears he shed. He did everything in his power to let his mind open, the numbers didn't end.

Not until he laid on his bedroom floor and the flames consumed his veins. The warmth engraved his body with such kindness as he let out a sharp breath, the spinning stopped, his heart had pieced itself back together. Like all the other times, he smiled.

—
authors notes:
this chapter is basically a filler chapter, while its important to the overall plot and depth of James character, it's still mainly a filler. It's a lot more deeper than most given he's struggling, it doesn't show much but it's there in the words. This boy is so damn heartbroken and ashamed of his actions he can't stand the thought of letting himself be happy again. That's one of his flaws and it'll be revealed as the chapters go onwards, also yes another update because why not. I might just focus on this book for a while longer until I get inspired for another book of mine. Enjoy yet another update, the next will be out soon.