𝗖𝗛𝗔𝗣𝗧𝗘𝗥 𝗦𝗘𝗩𝗘𝗡𝗧𝗘𝗘𝗡 . . . 𝗂 𝖿𝗎𝖼𝗄𝖾𝖽 𝗎𝗉, 𝗂 𝗄𝗇𝗈𝗐 𝗂 𝖽𝗂𝖽.
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❦

( social media ! )
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sinaimacher

sinaimacher, i am so proud to say that "diary of a lovesick girl" is officially yours!!! i've put a lot of thought and love into this project and i'm very proud with how it turned out. i hope you all enjoy it as much as i do. 🩷

plus it's finally my 19th birthday so today is a very exciting day for me!!

tagged - @enzograham

liked by christophersturniolo and others

comments

sinaimacher, tysm for all the birthday wishes i love you all soooo much 🧸💌
ᵖⁱⁿⁿᵉᵈ

user, ahhh finallyyyyyy

user, wipes tears and smiles

madisonbeer, congratulations and happy birthday!!!!!!
⤷sinaimacher, mwahhh

user, if someone tied me to a chair and forced me to listen to this i wouldn't be mad at all
⤷matthew.sturniolo, that's real i can't even lie

user, my real life mother 😫😫

amarijohnson, guys my baby is growing up 😕
⤷sinaimacher, ugh i want to stay 19 forever 😕

user, i've been freed from the shackles thank god

user, HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINAI

user, i'm actually a psychic i knew that this album was about chris
⤷sinaimacher, woah what the fuck we only name drop on the spam

user, yall why in the world did pluto like again
⤷user, bye he's obsessed
⤷user, i can't even blame him 😬

nicolassturniolo, i'm so proud of you nai!!!
⤷sinaimacher, thank you nick 🩷🩷

elainaprescott, wow wow wow

jenae.williams, congrats hottie
⤷sinaimacher, love uuuu

user, i don't even know this girl irl and i'm still so proud of her

bralo, happy birthday pretty girl
⤷sinaimacher, 🤗🤗
⤷user, oh..????
⤷bralo, @sinaimacher yo nai get your fans dawg
⤷sinaimacher, @user mind you the album is not even about him..

user, perfect ayyeee

user, smiles

serenaapagee, omg happy birthday sinai!!!!!
⤷sinaimacher, girl i absolutely adored you on love island stop

view all comments

( real life ! )
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sinai, her friends, a bunch of people she knows, and a bunch of people she didn't know were at a huge house for sinai's birthday party that madison beer was hosting for her.

she appreciated it greatly since she only met her in person a few days before her birthday.

the girl was so happy since she was celebrating her birthday, and her album release in the same day. but she was mainly happy that she was surrounded by her friends who were congratuating her.

the party has been going pretty well since it started-well, ever since sinai got there, but she's definitely enjoying herself. mainly because she's a tad bit tipsy (moreso on the drunk side if you will).

she's currently wrapping up a conversation with a girl she met a few hours ago.

"it was so nice talking to you. thank you for coming!" sinai gives the girl a smile and walks away. as she walks away, she hears her name being called.

"nai!"

she turns around and faces the foyer and sees nick and matt walking in the front door. the girl smiles at her two friends and walks up to them with open arms.

"happy birthday!" the two wish her. "thank you guys," she beams. sinai hugs matt, and moves on to hug nick.

she sighs with a smile on her face. "oh, nick, i missed you so much-i haven't seen you in so long," she gawks.

before she pulls away, she accidentally makes eye contact with chris who was standing a few feet behind his brothers. but, she doesn't think too much of it.

finally, she pulls away from him and has a quick conversation with the pair of them. she waves to them as they walk away into the living room, greeting their other friends.

the girl turns around and faces the foyer once more. surprisingly, chris is still standing there so she walks towards him.

"hey," he greets her, shoving his hands into the pockets of his jeans. "hi," sinai responds, playing with the rings on her fingers due to the awkwardness.

chris notices the action and quickly realizes that she's wearing one of the rings that he gave her.

"uh," he hesitates. "happy birthday," he says.

sinai gives him a tight-lipped smile and nods. "thanks," she mumbles.

"of course, sini," chris says. his eyes widen as the nickname he gave sinai comes out of his mouth. but he tries to cover up his mistake by giving her a small smug smile.

sinai gulps. quite loudly. she was shocked to hear that nickname since she hasn't heard it in so long. "you just love calling me that, don't you?" she asks him as a smile that she can't seem to prevent starts to form on her face.

chris lowers his head and chuckles. he cannot believe that he still has this affect on her. especially since she's hated him for months on end. he lifts his head back up and looks at her again. "yup," he says proudly. "always did," he adds.

there's a slight awkward silence that fills the room. "well," chris clears his throat. "i guess i'll leave you to it and let you enjoy your birthday, so.." he trails off, beginning to walk further into the house.

"wait," sinai turns around and calls after him quickly, trying not to let him get too far.

chris turns around and faces her. "yeah?" he answers, eyebrows somewhat furrowed.

"um," she nervously starts. "can we talk for a second?" the girl shyly asks him, her voice quieter than before.

"yeah, of course," he nods.

fuck.

deep down, sinai was hoping, praying that he said no. she was so nervous to have this talk with him because they hadn't had a real conversation since her last birthday-the day they broke up. even though she had no idea how this was going to go, or didn't want to know how this was going to go, she knew had to do it. she just needed answers.

she sits on the stairs and waits for him to do the same, and once he does, she pulls all of her thoughts together.

she goes to open her mouth to talk but doesn't when chris speaks up.

"actually," he starts. "before you say anything, i really need to tell you something," he states.

"okay," sinai nods. "go ahead," she tells him, urging for him to say what he needs to say.

chris exhales deeply before talking again. "i am so fucking sorry for how things turned out between us. i never meant to hurt you, sinai. towards the end, i just felt like i wasn't doing enough for you, and i didn't want you to feel the same way because of the problems that i had."

"i became stressed-not because of you, but simply because i didn't know how to balance the things that i truly cared about. i know that i should've sat down and communicated with you, but i just had so much on my mind to the point where i didn't know how to express how i felt at the time."

as chris is talking, sinai feels tears start to form in her eyes. she feels like she's finally getting the apology that she deserves. he's apologized many times before, but this time just seems so much more authentic because he's apologizing for everything and he's taking accountability for what he did.

"i fucked up, i know i did," he continues. "and i regret making that stupid ass decision because i lost you. i threw away everything good we had because i didn't have the right words to tell you how i felt."

chris sighs before he says one last thing. "but please just know that i have never stopped feeling how i always felt about you, sinai. and i don't think i ever will," he states.

sinai feels multiple tears fall from her eyes. she's not crying because she's sad or upset, she's crying because she's finally getting the clarity that she needed.

"fuck," she exhales as she wipes her tears. once she's decent, she sniffles before talking. "thank you for the apology and telling me how you feel," she tells him. "i appreciate it, i really do. but i just-" she cuts herself off.

"i don't know if i can bring myself to fully accept you back into my life with open arms at the moment because i'm definitely not one hundred percent over the breakup, but i do have an understanding of how i feel-so for me, it's just way too soon."

"and i already know that you're going to tell me that i don't need to apologize for this, but i honestly don't give a fuck because i really need to tell you this," sinai says before making eye contact with him.

"i'm sorry for putting on this façade and forcing myself to hate you. in all reality, i never actually hated you, i just did that because i felt like it would make me get over you faster. but, it didn't help anything because that special place in my heart for you never left-even though i really fucking wanted it to."

chris rolls his eyes at the girls' apology. "sinai, you know that you have absolutely nothing to apologize for," he reassures her.

"chris," sinai deadpans. "what?" he exclaims. "i'm serious. this entire thing is my fault-i should've been the only one apologizing," the boy reasons.

"but i'm glad you did though," he nudges her gently.

sinai chuckles softly, "whatever," she shakes her head and exhales again, relieved that she finally got the chance to get everything off of her chest.

the two sit in a comfortable silence before chris speaks up. "can i hug you?" he asks with a soft voice.

"sure," she replies. she scoots closer to him and places her arms around his shoulders, pulling him into an embrace while he wraps his around her waist.

chris lets out the breath he was holding in for some reason and rubs sinai's back gently.

"i love you, sinai. so much," he mumbles quietly into her shoulder.

sinai smiles at him as they pull away from each other. she gently grabs his chin and presses a soft kiss to his cheek, leaving him feeling a bit flustered.

𝗥𝗘𝗡 𝗦𝗣𝗘𝗔𝗞𝗦 !
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writing that awkward ass interaction between them literally fucking killed me.

but anyways this is def my fav chapter by far because im so proud of them for apologizing to each other and basically fucking confessing their love for each other like whattttttt.

n i lowk feel like mentioning madison AND serena was pushing it but hey.

n yall PLEASE dont drag me cus i had her accept his apology like i was so sick and tired of them basically just bullshitting around.

- 𝗥𝗘𝗡🧸