Payton POV
   Noen hauls me into the room and closes the door behind me quickly. I swallow nervously and walk over to the side of Ray's bed. She doesn't say anything when I sit down in a chair.
   "You don't have to say anything, but if you would listen, I would appreciate it," I begin. Then I sigh, gathering my thoughts from the past few hours. "I made a mistake, and it caused one of the worst things someone could do to another person. I did something that broke your trust in me, and I regret it terribly. I didn't tell you that I let people listen in on something really private, something that you meant to only tell me, and then I continued to not tell you that. And I'm sorry. I'm really freaking sorry, Ray." I put my elbows on my knees and run my hands through my hair while tears pour down my face. "I pushed you over some mental edge that someone can't come back from. You were on the edge of sanity, and then I went and broke your trust. Pushing you over the edge is the only was I can find to describe what I did."
   I take gulping breathes through my sobs. "I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I don't know what to do. I can't say anything more than I'm sorry. You have absolutely no reason to forgive me, and here I am, begging you through sobs to take my apology. I'm a stupid prick, and if you never wanted to see my freaking face again, I'd be okay with that because that's what I deserve. That's what I deserve." I shake my head and turn away, embarrassed my sobbing.
   I hear her take a deep breathe. "Payton, you need to calm down before you make yourself sick."
   "Okay." I nod violently, not at all calming down.
   "Payton," she sighs. "If it had been at a different time, I wouldn't be in this hospital bed right now. I just want you to know that."
   "What-What do you mean?" I whisper.
   "I was in a bad place mentally when that FaceTime got brought up. I wasn't answering your texts because I'd been cutting and...getting sick."
"Getting sick how?" I ask quietly.
"I have an eating disorder, Payton."
"Oh." I look down at my feet, a fresh wave of tears hitting. "I-I didn't know. Gosh, I'm stupid."
"You aren't stupid, Payton. How were you supposed to know something that I hadn't told you about yet?" she asks. I give a little hiccuping laugh.
"I don't know."
"Exactly. And you didn't know that by that, I would try killing myself. If I was in a good place at the time, I probably wouldn't have. It's not all your fault. Don't try to take all the blame for it."
"Okay. Okay." I nod slowly. "Were you-Were you scared?"
"When?"
"When you were trying to, you know, commit suicide," I mumble.
"Don't say it like that. You say commuting suicide like it was a crime." I look away in guilt. "I'm not mad at you. And no, I wasn't scared. When you get to that kind of a point in life, when you're ready to end it all, you don't feel anything. Even fear."
"Oh." I sniffle again.
"You should probably get going before a nurse catches you still in here," she says. I nod and stand up.
"Thanks for listening to what I had to say." I give Ray a small smile and walk away.
"Payton," she says when my hand meets the door handle. I turn back around to look at her. "I'll forgive you. I don't know if that means we'll be best friends, but I'll forgive you."
I give her a genuine smile. "Thank you." I turn back to the door and leave.