𝐴𝐿𝐿 𝑇𝐻𝐼𝑆 𝑂𝑇𝐻𝐸𝑅 𝑆𝐻𝐼𝑇 𝐼'𝑀 𝑇𝐴𝐿𝐾𝐼𝑁' '𝐵𝑂𝑈𝑇 𝑇𝐻𝐸𝑌 𝑇𝐻𝐼𝑁𝐾 𝑇𝐻𝐸𝑌 𝐾𝑁𝑂𝑊 𝐼𝑇

𝐼'𝑉𝐸 𝐵𝐸𝐸𝑁 𝑃𝑅𝐴𝑌𝐼𝑁𝐺 𝐹𝑂𝑅 𝑆𝑂𝑀𝐸𝐵𝑂𝐷𝑌 𝑇𝑂 𝑆𝐴𝑉𝐸 𝑀𝐸, 𝑂𝑁 𝑂𝑁𝐸'𝑆 𝐻𝐸𝑅𝑂𝐼𝐶

𝐴𝑁𝐷 𝑀𝑌 𝐿𝐼𝐹𝐸 𝐷𝑂𝑁'𝑇 𝑁𝐸𝑉𝐸𝑁 𝑀𝐴𝑇𝑇𝐸𝑅, 𝐼 𝐾𝑁𝑂𝑊 𝐼𝑇, 𝐼 𝐾𝑁𝑂𝑊 𝐼𝑇

𝐼 𝐾𝑁𝑂𝑊 𝐼'𝑀 𝐻𝑈𝑅𝑇𝐼𝑁𝐺 𝐷𝐸𝐸𝑃 𝐷𝑂𝑊𝑁 𝐵𝑈𝑇 𝐼 𝐶𝐴𝑁'𝑇 𝑆𝐻𝑂𝑊 𝐼𝑇

𝐼 𝑁𝐸𝑉𝐸𝑅 𝐻𝐴𝐷 𝐴 𝑃𝐿𝐴𝐶𝐸 𝑇𝑂 𝐶𝐴𝐿𝐿 𝑀𝑌 𝑂𝑊𝑁

𝐼 𝑁𝐸𝑉𝐸𝑅 𝐻𝐴𝐷 𝐴 𝐻𝑂𝑀𝐸,  𝐴𝐼𝑁'𝑇 𝑁𝑂𝐵𝑂𝐷𝑌 𝐶𝐴𝐿𝐿𝐼𝑁' 𝑀𝑌 𝑃𝐻𝑂𝑁𝐸 

𝑊𝐻𝐸𝑅𝐸 𝑌𝑂𝑈 𝐵𝐸𝐸𝑁? 𝑊𝐻𝐸𝑅𝐸 𝑌𝑂𝑈 𝐴𝑇? 𝑊𝐻𝐴𝑇'𝑆 𝑂𝑁 𝑌𝑂𝑈𝑅 𝑀𝐼𝑁𝐷?

𝑇𝐻𝐸𝑌 𝑆𝐴𝑌 𝐸𝑉𝐸𝑅𝑌 𝐿𝐼𝐹𝐸 𝑃𝑅𝐸𝐶𝐼𝑂𝑈𝑆 𝐵𝑈𝑇 𝑁𝑂𝐵𝑂𝐷𝑌 𝐶𝐴𝑅𝐸 𝐴𝐵𝑂𝑈𝑇 𝑀𝐼𝑁𝐸

「 𝐈 𝐝𝐨𝐧'𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐛𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐯𝐞

𝐈 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐚 𝐝𝐢𝐞 𝐭𝐨𝐝𝐚𝐲 」

- 𝑘ℎ𝑎𝑙𝑖𝑑, 1-800-273-8255

*＊✿❀○❀✿＊*

IN Melanie's mind's eye she brushed against Newt's brown ones for a moment before everything was bathed in black light.

I'll go, I'll just go because it's the right thing to do.

With a feeling of indefinable happiness, she took a deep breath. She would never have to fight again. No more struggling with tears or feelings that she wanted to pursue but everything inside her resisted. It's impossible to stop them.

As if a part of me also wanted to feel everything that was coming up inside me and I was blocking myself because I couldn't bear everything that was coming to the surface.

She stood with her back against a precipice in the labyrinth, a boulder that she had previously climbed up and in front of which a huge gap opened up into the depths. The strong wind ruffled her unruly hair, and keeping her eyes open until the last second, she ran her foot over the rock to make sure that this was reality.

Slowly, hoping someone would stop her and give her a hug, she stretched out one arm and then the other to the side. She took one last deep breath, oxygenating her burning lungs. Everything she did would be one last time. Then she took a step forward and jumped into something whose abyss of depth perhaps even corresponded to her soul.

None of this happened in slow motion. It was quick and hard as she came to her full height, staring up into the murky sky of the maze, until with every blink she saw everything becoming blurrier.

Thomas, who was traveling with Minho not far from Sector 7, had already thought he saw her standing there from a distance.

Oh no, his clever little mind had panicked and had already sprinted forward before he could realize that she had jumped. That while he had managed to lessen their impact, he had not managed to avoid it.

Pain tore through her heart, where else she felt none. Maybe she just found him more bearable there than in the places that couldn't be seen from the outside. Even if it were true that the blonde liked her too, it would simply be too late now

Cannot be undone.

Melanie's eyes closed unintentionally and her warm cheeks were completely moist, not even feeling that it wasn't her own tears, but those of the runner, which were inevitably large and thus rolled down onto her own face. She was glad to have left her seat. The place in her head with her terrible thoughts constantly pounding her. There was no escape, no matter how out of this maze around them.

And certainly everything that the girl was keeping quiet about - words that she never said - turned into sadness, sleeplessness and momentous fatigue in her body. To inconsolable tears, lying doubt, an ever-present hatred and huge knots in your throat that choked you because no one could open them.

What Melanie didn't say didn't just die, like flowers that die after a while, it killed her in a heartbeat, like poison in green bottles.

Despite James receiving his punishment, it didn't change her inner world. The fact that people liked her and suddenly showed interest didn't change the self-destructive thoughts that clung to her like burrs.

If the change only took place in her environment, she would never feel it within herself.

Things radiate from the inside out, not the other way around. And secretly she also knew that there was so much more than just infatuation like she felt for Newt. But once you said those three words that created rifts or lit firecrackers, you could never take them back.

Either feelings are reciprocated or they are destroyed due to one-sidedness and something is lost. For some, it breaks their unique hearts.

Melanie's pain was getting worse with every moment, but she couldn't see anymore. She couldn't open her eyes, floating in an endless void of complete darkness. So much loneliness, voices and faces simply disappeared. Was this the kind of peace she received?

"Mel, what have you done?", a voice that slowly penetrates, "Don't leave me alone." And hearing this made her so happy because she believed that she was not alone in her transitional world.

But it gradually dawned on Melanie that no change had taken place. That she was still in the Glade and that,
no, no,
that voice,
was Newt's. So much potential she had thrown away. Friends she had never recognized as such.

Newt.

Newt, who showed her what it was like to carry something other than negativity in the first place. What it was like to feel such flattering feelings and what it was like to feel such touches that got under your skin.

What it was like to have deep conversations where the mutual understanding was palpable in the air.

But above all, to let go of the past because it no longer has a place in the present. Because joy is fleeting, but so is pain.

She had never mentioned that she felt good whenever the blonde was near her. That in his presence she had felt no pain, only guilt, and she was so sorry. So incomprehensible, immediately immensely sorry. What had she done? Fears excluded you from everything, from others and from yourself, until ultimately nothing corresponded to compatibility.

Thomas was devastated, dragged the girl back into the Glade as quickly as he could and called the medics awake so that they could finally help her. Panicked, he had pestered her about what he could do and then there had been a silent exchange between him and Newt.

He didn't even have to explain what had happened.

Melanie was the first to meet Thomas and although it didn't seem like it, the two had a lot in common. Thomas was a big part of Melanie's hope. Because when he came, everything that had previously collapsed into darkness changed. Maybe she too had changed.

But my thoughts convinced me that I had no chance anyway. That anything I could think about would always end in meaninglessness. Now it was over, no longer important to think about.

My life was over.

What I thought I had was over.

At some point, simple enough is enough. At some point you have enough. At some point you just don't feel like trying for something anymore, or fighting for something for which you can't find a process, then you simply can't continue.

After the paramedics had done their job and left the room, leaving only the runner and his friend behind, a shocking silence mixed with the sadness of the last few months was noticeable in the air.

Shocked that a person can get so bad that they no longer want to live.

"You should have promised me," Newt murmured from her lounger, stroking her always flawless head and Melanie sank into an endless depth that was suddenly so completely foreign to her.