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• 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐡 •

"howdy pals!" i greeted my stream with a wave and a smile. "SUP BITCHES!" my bestfried of 7 years, celestia shouted. i broke out in laughter at her antics. "well, theres celestia." i said in between laughs.

"fuck yeah it is." she said with what i could only imagine was a shit eating grin on her face. "who else would it be?" celestia scoffed. "i dont know, the fluffing pope." my voice was laced with sarcasm.

"if the pope dropped an f-bomb in every sentence, like me, i would want to be friends with that bitch." she broke down in laughter. "you didnt drop an f-bomb in that sentence." she paused for a few minutes.

i looked at my chat in confusion and then back to discord. "celest-" "FOR FUCKS SAKE" we both started laughing to the point where she fell of her chair and i almost did.

"okay, can we get into the game? im hosting a pvp competition." i smiled sheepishly, knowing that celestia couldnt even kill a zombie without dying. "you evil whore." "suck it puta." i stuck my tongue out at my stream, guessing that she was probably watching it while on call.

"did you just call me a whore in spanish?" she questioned. "i think thats what it means. i wouldnt know, im dutch." i chuckled.

"imagine being dutch and living in america, gross. you see, being dutch and actually living in the netherlands is supreme." celestia spoke matter-of-factly.

"ive lived here for a year. i will always prefer my lovely little home in holland to this middle-class apartment in north carolina." i closed my eyes and daydreamed about my small childhood cottage that i lived in up to a year ago.

"i still visit that little cottage every now and again. its missing that little touch of maribeth." celestia sighed. "my apartment is missing that typewriter you broke that ended up sitting on my mantle for decoration." she chuckled at my comment.

i pulled up minecraft on my monitor and got my game set up for my pvp competition. "i miss tyreese the typewriter." she sighed. "i still only think of the walking dead when i hear the name tyreese." i chuckled.

"miss thing, you have an addiction to that show." her voice was laced with fake disappointment. i scoffed "please, dont act like you're not obsessed with criminal minds."

"THAT SHOW IS A MASTERPIECE, FUCK OFF." i looked at my camera. "point proven."

"okay, to the competition. yall should be able to join now." celestia groaned. "yAll" she mocked. "south carolina has changed you, boo." she said sadly.

"its more gender inclusive. plus, its fun to say." i smiled at my chat, which was a mixture between pogs and hearts. "oooh, so you smart smart." she spoke.

after about ten more minutes of complete and utter nonsense from celestia and i, everyone was in my server. people had already started killing each other, but i turned off pvp once i realized people were doing that.

"okay, you absolute heathens, calm yourselves. once i turn pvp back on and i switch this ish to hardcore, we can get going. last player standing wins."

i quickly turned the server into hardcore mode and turned pvp back on. "FIGHT!" i yelled as i dropped myself into the battle arena.

"IM ALREADY FUCKING DEAD, THESE DUMB BASTARDS!" celestia shouted. i broke into laughter which caused me to lose focus.

a player came up behind me and started beating the ever living daylights out of me. before i could even defend myself, the player was slain by someone else.

"holy crap, i was just saved by someone." i spoke, surprised at the act. i took a quick look at the players name before they left to go fight others.

"i dont know who this karl dude is, but he just saved me. please let me be your friend."

"look at miss maribeth white, simping for a strange man on the internet."

"says you, madame quackity simp."

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