23 | The Choice of Arwen Undómiel

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Illyria Strange | Elemmírë Oialëa.

Location: Imladris, Middle Earth, Arda

Time: November 2980 T.A

Ever since the council finished, Illyria felt like she had a red target on her back in every part of the valley.

Not even a pair of scissors could cut the massive tension between every living and thinking person in this place, especially with wary eyes and whispers now openly travelling about ever since the eldest son of Fëanor was supposedly in Imladris.

(She was still pissed at him about the council stunt and to make him suffer from it: Illyria made him collect data to all her tech about the place. Not the most torturous punishment but it made an ancient elf bored though.)

And whilst that was going, the fact that news of the One Ring was now known in the valley the elves were starting to worry...which was the most rational thing anybody could do. It's the One Ring, how else would anyone react if you found out some dark soul-possessing weapon was in your house.

If she could vocalize her advice: she would probably tell people to hide their kids and hide their wives.

Or as what the Fellowship would be doing: walking thousands of miles to yeet that motherfucker into a volcano.

Thankfully, they chose to do the second suggestion.

Illyria Strange just didn't like the fact that her daughter was gonna join. And she still didn't like it and God it made her almost sob every time she imagined every horrible scenario in her head that she had to stop herself before the twins or Arwen graced over her thoughts and over worry.

But as much as it was totally ripping her heart: she accepted it.

Others...well, they haven't yet truly comprehended yet.

Mostly those who knew Arwen long enough insisted (even begged) for her to stay. Even if she would break her promise (practically an oath to be honest), they said that she would be forgiven for the sake of keeping her life.

That part sort of made her raise her eyebrows at them (rather specifically Erestor and every elleth in this valley). Was it that simple to be forgiven because someone did what they thought was right?

Fuck, if she had a penny for knowing people like that, she probably made about five bucks. Knowing the Avengers, and the inner workings of the superhero world: there's been a lot of saving and not a lot of acceptance. It made her angry to know end that yes, they saved an entire civilization from mass destruction and yet are mad for breaking such things as the Sokovia Accords.

She was glad that someone finally got rid of General Ross a few months back. He would not like the fact that she created a portal in a university lab with three elves and a reincarnated elf who was now a genius-level engineer. Not to mention that her mom was once on his list in monitoring after the Hex incident.

Which, by far in her accordance: was not cool.

If anybody messed with her mom; they would get a heck of a beating and perhaps every secret spilt out from their mouths.

Thankfully, she was not anything related to the Lewis' and stuck to her own powers of telepathy, mind-reading and her own game of flashlight. And whilst she was heavily focused on her mother, she realised then how draining and heavy-burdened it was as a parent.

How Elrond raised them for the past thousand years without her counterpart...no wonder why she had an inkling that he might even begin to grey because of all the stress.

It all brought her back to the topic at hand and that was her daughter.

Whilst Maedhros seemed to understand Arwen's choices, her brother was the overprotective uncle who was conflicted to project his own opinion. In his mind, he revealed to her that he was grieved by Arwen's ultimate choice but became to accept it. He didn't want their family to be divided at such a time and over a noble cause.

Glorfindel told her as they walked through the corridor after meeting with Elrond and Arwen in the study that he saw the same when she decided to go to Angmar with him. The only annoying bit about that was Illyria couldn't exactly remember anything about Angmar or those last years in general. And with his sad smiles and hidden looks, she was getting suspicious all over again just like the first time they met here.

The twins didn't say anything at all after the council, but their minds said otherwise. They were on the side of Glorfindel on this one, upset that their sister would join the Fellowship but accepted it, nonetheless. Even just by a century difference, Illyria could tell that the twins loved their little sister greatly. The bond was evident, sensing their souls reassuring one another before Elrond whisked her and Arwen away to his study.

With Elrond...

Let us just say Illyria wore mixed feelings on it. She wanted to reach up to him but was held back by the invisible force of her wanting to disagree with him. She knew he was seeing her in their daughter and it pained her as well as him to see history repeat itself.

Or that was what she deducted when his grey eyes spilt with tears once Arwen left.

Feeling Elrond Peredhel and Arwen Undómiel argue had always torn her when watching their scenes. But watching it as their wife and mother made her heart crack at the display.

Illyria didn't want to pick a side. She won't split a family up even if it was her own. She comforted both after that, thankful that Maedhros came to the rescue and surprised her by assuring Arwen.

After all of that, she had yet to talk to Elrond's youngest (and only human) child.

Coincidentally: she found him right on time.

It was the garden they first talked to one another. When she strode through green-leaved arches, a flash of memory passed her. Seeing a young Estel stare up to the marble statue of his mother – now as a grown man and much taller than the memorial itself.

The garden seemed unkept now due to the lack of sunlight. Wilted flowers and dried vines crawled over the stoned body of Gilraen.

The crunching of leaves on the stone path caused the man to turn his head, catching her eye before he momentarily paused before glancing back to the statue. "Arwen has spoken to me." Aragorn said to her, a tint of frustration in his voice, "She is still insisting on fulfilling her promise to the Ring Bearer."

As she made it next to him, she exhaled and clasped her gloved hands together. "I know."

She heard the tall Dunedain inhale.

Her head rose to stare up at the statue as she continued, "And it's not my choice anymore to stop her."

In the corner of her eye, Aragorn's head hung low, staring down at the floor. She wanted to reach out to him but stopped the moment her hand tried to slowly edge to his own. Illyria wasn't sure if she had the right to even comfort him only having known him for a few days, if not even just a day with him as a child.

Even then, there was some side of her that cared deeply for him. To comfort someone knowing their fears will never go away.

He shut his eyes and ground his teeth, revealing to her: "She said she will never be safe." Aragorn asked with a hint of desperation, "What is the point if Dagor Dagorath is to come?"

She asked the same question a lot of times already.

With a large breath, she turned back to him and answered: "Because it at least aids us from stopping him growing stronger. If he discovered the ring's whereabouts, he could use it and help Morgoth defeat the Valar."

There was an understanding when they looked at each other, but Aragorn's grey eyes shook with refusal and anguish. He spoke to her, "Arwen does not need to come with us."

Oh, he had no idea how much Arwen meant to all of this.

The very second her daughter pledged her place to follow the Ring Bearer: Illyria saw the immediate advantage they could have in this war.

Illyria could only stare as she replied, "No...she really does." Before Aragorn could protest, she sent a signal, allowing her to continue: "She and I can't be in the same place. We're like a beacon together, at risk if we try to protect the jewel. Arwen can protect you all from the others, mainly from the owner of that ring. And with Gondor truly gone...you need someone at that side of the continent to stop the darkness from spreading."

Even with her attempts, Aragorn still gave a look of displeasure and disapproval. She internally sighed; there wasn't any point in persuading the young man (perhaps not young anymore) to be less fearful.

So to divert the distress and tension building up, she brought herself to look elsewhere whilst progressing to raise her hand outwards.

Materializing in her palm was a small silver band.

A ring.

No. Not the One Ring (if she had that, fuck knows how fucked she would turn out to be) but one which she knew very well from the stories. How had she obtained it?

Let's just say that she persuaded Elrond to be the one to give it after their little comfort therapy session after the council.

With a sincere smile, she held it and urged it to him. "I wanted to give you this. Call it a betrothal gift I suppose." Illyria implied, "This was yours to be passed down."

With a soft gasp, Aragorn eyed her for a moment before staring down at the ring. He took it in his hand, eyeing the green gem which was surrounded by two silver snakes.

He breathed, "The Ring of Barahir..."

Holding one of the more known rings of the books and its history, Illyria felt honoured (and a little guilty) to be the one to pass something so precious to one's heritage. It was one of the symbols of the kings of Gondor and Arnor and those who were from Númenor. The very ring which Finrod gave to Barahir after the elves first encounter with humans.

She thought it would have been Elrond to give it to him, considering he raised Aragorn as a child.

Though as the half-elf passed it to her, he told her that she should be the one to hand it to him. Maybe he saw it in his visions or maybe he didn't want to do it because it meant one thing. And that was the fact that they were accepting to let Arwen go and accept the love between her and Aragorn.

Elrond had trusted her to make the decision and Illyria would honour it happily.

As he slipped it onto his finger, she spoke from her heart to him.

"I see something in you that I have seen in Elrond. All I could say from a mother talking to her future son-to-be: trust her." Illyria advised him, accentuating her words out. "Trust Arwen. She is stronger than you perceive her to be. She would have chosen anyone; she would have easily accepted the request to leave for Earth. Instead, she placed herself to protect Frodo to see this done. And I choose no other person than her. And I know you will be with her in every step of your journey."

The now betrothed man stared at her, a rising sense of confidence and respect which she returned.

Illyria knew – Illyria or Elemmírë or whatnot – that Aragorn would eventually understand and accept Arwen. Not as just a fair lady of a house or an elf but just Arwen, someone who chose to use her knowledge and skills to protect those she loved.

Because even seeing Arwen and Aragorn here without knowing: Illyria saw the strength of their love and knew it would get them through this all.

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Arwen Undómiel | The Evenstar

Time: November 2980 T.A

The day of their departure commenced.

When the morning broke, hinted by one of the maids who informed her that the moon had passed, she prepared herself and got dressed. A new set of travelling robes were fitted just for her, as well as some which her mother procured over on Earth.

Once she was dressed, she eyed the mirror and took a deep breath. Grey eyes stared back at her, ones who belonged to once was the daughter of Elrond Peredhel and Illyria Ettelëa.

Though now: they belonged to only in the name of Arwen: light to the ring bearer and of the Fellowship of the Ring. Her titles as the lady of Rivendell didn't matter anymore out in the wilderness because the foul darkness won't stop just to hear her name ring into their ears before her light.

She broke her fast with her family and it broke her heart slightly as her father stayed quiet throughout it, not even thinking about the day, and focusing on plans to fortify the valley. Her brothers bickered and joked, listening intently to Uncle Glorfindel's tales about Earth's movies and stories and their books. Besides her father: her mother and Maedhros spoke to each other, invested in some plans to do with the search of the other Silmaril.

Arwen did all she could to seem strong, to prove to them that she had made the right choice. And her mother acknowledged it easily, sending calming words through her mind during the whole ordeal until the food was done and it was time to meet at the front of the house.

All the inhabitants of the house came to watch the Fellowship leave, a larger audience to which those she knew looked at her with worry and grief. She felt a pang in her heart when she saw the grief in their eyes and minds. They thought she was sending herself to her own demise simply because she chose to do what was right.

'No matter what, this world will be brought if we do not do something,' She thought to herself as she walked out from the main doors and found the rest of Fellowship waiting outside. She could sense her brothers already there, standing with the main household beside Uncle Glorfindel and Maedhros.

As for her parents, she wished at least that one of them would have walked alongside her as she headed down the steps towards the open courtyard. Instead, she walked along with Princess Tauriel and Prince Kili whom she met on the way out through the hallways.

Her small pack was already slung over her shoulder, kitted with everything needed for the long journey. She knew it would be a dangerous trek through the wilderness and little trinkets and comfort were not needed when running or fighting. Arwen wished she could learn how to place objects in other dimensions such as her mother, though it took strength and control to even hide a small stone.

Strapped upon her back, she checked that her mother's staff, now officially her's, was there. Hadhafang was strapped beside her hip, comfortably hitting the side of her leg as she walked.

Whilst Tauriel and Kili said farewell to a man (assumed to be from Dale), she caught Legolas' eye who gave her a small and reassuring expression. She thanked the subtle assurance from her friend before she gazed over Aragorn who averted his gaze once more – causing her heart to throb at the action.

As much as she wanted to talk to him once more, Arwen was not going to let her guard down so simply. She thought that she was right, correct, and respectful and yet given what seemed to be a cold shoulder from her lover.

A part of her yearned to tell him, to perhaps change her mind.

Though, her soul seemed to push her own mind to continue.

They gathered as she sent a nod from each of her household. Ellith and ellin which she had grown up within this very valley. She once left this place many centuries ago, wondering when she would see Imladris again. Arwen had been broken before, shattered by the loss of her mother, and eventually learned to heal in Lothlorien.

Today she would be leaving home behind.

Her brothers were the first ones she approached, more since she always gravitated to them even as a young child. They were the first friends she ever had, two brothers who she loved and they too fiercely loved back. She remembered that they were the two who always made sure she was alright, keeping her heart and mind active whenever her parents were not around. They would play down in the river, spend summers simply playing with light and listening to music.

Elrohir was always the better one at music, weaving stories in his words much like his own craft in creating poems and songs. Whilst he would do so, Elladan would be the one to braid her hair, skilled in his hands and was always enjoying sparring with her if she were hyper and jumpy.

Those were the years which she understood now how much they raised her as well. When Naneth and Adar were busy, or she did something, Arwen relied on the trust she had with her brothers.

Here they were, for once being the sibling who would leave Imladris instead of them.

Elladan stepped forward from the formative line they stood at and looked at her. He then said, "Sister." He swallowed before he continued, "You can still stay."

Giving her brother a sad smile, she turned slightly to look back to Elrohir who was trying his best not to think out loud to her. Despite seeming to want her to stay, they told her days ago that they understood her actions and accepted to support her. They did it openly, hearing times when Elladan would argue at one of the elves down in the city after they had thought of something rude of her and her family.

At other times it was silent support when Elrohir suggested things for her to take such as medicinal herbs and earthly portable contraptions that could aid them.

Arwen told them, "I gave my word." The two twitched their lips as she asked them, "You will take care of the Valley with Erestor and Uncle, alright?"

Elladan smirked slightly whilst Elrohir looked with a glint in his eyes whilst he informed, "Actually, Naneth has a task for us." He explained, "We will be helping the Dunedain and those inhabitants surrounding Arnor."

With their eyes glancing at one another, she could deduce that it might be something their mother had hinted to them. Though with their long relationship with the men of the North, Arwen was no surprised that they were glad to aid them with the enemies arriving from the mountains. After all, she knew that one of her brothers owed a debt to one of them.

A certain Queen of Arnor.

However, that was a story for another time for them to reminisce.

With a hum, Arwen replied. "Good. Better than pranking them." As the twins sent her a mental protest, causing her to chuckle at their antics, she turned her head down the row of elves and saw the rest of her family.

Standing beside her parents was her uncle wearing his green and yellow robes. Like her, he glowed more than the rest, though nothing seemed settled by his hesitant smile at her. Her uncle, despite never protesting vocally still gazed at her with a flicker of fear. His comfort during the centuries still enlightened her, giving her the confidence she needed from time to time.

"Uncle Glorfindel, will you be fine here?" She wondered as she glanced up at him.

His lips twitched slightly upwards, nudging his eyebrows as he responded, "Not for long." Her uncle told her, "We have a long way to Mithlond in a week. Erestor and Lindir will make sure of the protection of the valley."

She remembered about Mithlond, quickly looking over to where Erestor and Lindir stood along with Miriel. They looked at her with various faces, with Lindir appearing more distressed whilst Miriel tried to send a reassuring smile. She was always more of the open elleths in the valley even being half her age and had known her as a child. Whereas Lindir was perhaps could faint at the sight of blood or just anything uncivilized. Eru knows how he reacted when he heard of the goat incident as well as the one involved with the hall of tapestries. Erestor might have been the best in keeping them in line, albeit their parents. Arwen could tell deep down that the Noldo understood even if he could never show it.

And from all the times she spent here in her home, the three of them kept her home running. They had been beside their father and mother's side since establishing the city and had seen them grow and fall.

A few steps next to her uncle was a face like her own.

Her mother stepped forward slightly as Arwen took out the staff from her back.

"Naneth." She stared at her, clearing her throat before she spoke. "I should not be the one to use this."

Though instead of sensing disapproval, she was given a sad smile in return as her mother nudged the magical relic back into her body.

Illyria spoke softly to her, "It is yours now, you earned it by training." Leaning in slightly, she asked her: "Remember what I spoke to you of?"

For a second she was slightly unsure what she meant, but as her mother hinted telepathically to her – Arwen nodded briefly. "Yes. I will make sure of it."

Seeing her mother's eyes grow with tears brought her throat to feel scratchy. Illyria lifted her hands to cup her cheeks before encasing her into a tight hug.

Hands embracing her, Arwen hugged her in return with closed eyes – tears threatening to fall her cheeks. In her mind, she was sobbing. She wanted to tell her in person how she really felt. That she was afraid.

So very afraid.

And yet she was certain that she needed to go.

'What you are doing is the bravest thing you have ever done, Arwen.' Her mother told her, voice laced with pride and honesty. 'And I am so proud to call you my daughter despite everything that's happened.'

'I wish we spent our time longer,' Arwen thought.

'I wish so too,' Illyria professed, 'But I am happy to have spent what we had, knowing that I have come to know you better.'

Her heart thump against her chest, light entwining around her once she pulled away and gazed at her mother.

With a murmur, Arwen spoke, "I love you, Nana."

Cupping her cheek with her hand once more, something that felt so foreign for her at the contact, Illyria whispered back to her, "I love you too, my Evenstar."

As Illyria pulled her hand away, Arwen was met with silver eyes piercing at her.

"I know you will never understand...but this is my fate." Arwen stared up at him. She would not cower now – nor ever – at his gaze anymore.

But as his stare grew almost stagnant, the guilt soon reached her and brought her head to hang down.

"Yéta nin." [1]

Arwen slowly brought her head back up, seeing now the pained expression on her father's face.

"Yelya...Undómiel. Oh, manen hae tye have túl." He rose his hands to grace her cheeks, leaning down to press a small kiss upon her forehead. [2]

At that moment, she forgot all accords and flung herself at him. He gave a sharp intake before bringing his arms around her.

"I love you, Adar." She quietly professed as she embraced him, pleading the last words to him as she cried softly. "Protect Nana please."

Her father murmured in her ear, "I will, Undómiel."

With that promise, she swallowed the bile growing before she pulled back and gave him a final look. He wanted to cry and yet propriety and duty held him back. Arwen wished for her father to feel some comfort, to assure him again that she would be fine.

Taking a step back, Arwen brought herself to glance away and continue her final goodbye.

She took a short breath before she cleared her throat and spoke to the last person standing beside her family. "I know we have not met too long ago, however." Arwen gazed up to the Fëanorian and spoke, "I would like to thank you again."

They both understood her open thanks to him. Out of everyone in Imladris, she had come to feel that the Fëanorian was the one who accepted and understood her the most. Even during the council as she knelt before Frodo Baggins, his voice bold and clear stating the Fellowship had kept her from keeping her choice definite.

He had helped her sway the path she wanted to carve, someone she barely even knew and yet respected with what he had done despite it not all so beautiful and bright.

"No worries, Elenníca," Maedhros responded, raising his brows when he eyed her. "Ah, I see you wear the robes your mother commissioned. I guess this was your handing, Illyria. Then this is a gift from the Fëanorians. A star fit for a maiden." [3]

The nickname was new, surprising her a little before she reacted to the rest of what he said.

She felt a little warm, thankful for his words (and for the robes which she knew had been of an idea from both her mother and Maedhros) whilst she spotted him take something from the palm of his hand and to her. It was light on her touch, a metal object which she assumed.

Opening her palm, she found herself looking at a wonderful thing.

It was a brooch in the shape of the familiar Star of Fëanor.

As she pinned it carefully over the front of her robes, Arwen looked up to the ancient elf and replied, "Thank you, Maedhros."

With that she was taken to where the Fellowship stood, seeing the four hobbits along with their pony already prepared. Frodo Baggins stood patiently with his friends, looking at her before gazing back to where both her mother and father situated themselves in front of all the household.

Arwen walked over to Tauriel and Kili, silent as her father's last words filled the very area.

Her father began, voice strong and emotional even after what they shared.

"The Ring Bearer is setting out on a quest to Mount Doom. And you who travel with him bear no oath nor bond is laid to go further than you will." Elrond proclaimed, a gentle smile resting on his lips. "Farewell. May the blessing of elves, men, dwarves, hobbits and all free peoples of Middle Earth go with you."

A sense of morality and confidence came as a wave to them all mixed with uncertainty and slight nerves as Arwen watched the Ring Bearer be guided at the front of the group. Aragorn followed soon along with Legolas and the hobbits, a short glance at her before he bowed away and strode off.

Mithrandir had already set off, close to Frodo whilst the two dwarves of their group stayed behind with Tauriel stopping next to her.

The red-haired elleth sent her a small encouraging smile as she said, "Come, Arwen."

The first few steps as the Fellowship began to head out from the arched gates, she felt as if she was walking in marshes. Every step she took she could sense everything around her, the moment the air felt grow suddenly cold despite the already cool temperatures.

Only then, she realised she slowed down, her mind so clouded and yet so clear.

Tauriel luckily noticed her stop at the back of the group, turning her head.

Arwen looked towards the elleth and asked, "Is it wrong that I am willing despite where I am walking?" She felt her eyes wanting to turn back, to see her family one last time. "And now I feel as if I am refusing something they have given me."

She paused for a moment before Tauriel shook her head and replied simply, "No. It just means you are leaving a part of yourself for them." Gesturing, she softly continued: "Just as they are giving a part of themselves to you."

Those words sunk into her mind and tried to fuel her heart. She knew that the ache in her chest would constantly return to remind her of this day. Of each memory, she had with those she decided to leave.

Arwen inhaled deeply, gazing back up to the starry night sky and prepared herself.

"Then let us go." She sent Tauriel a determined look, shoulders back and her head up high as she continued to walk. "We have a long journey ahead."

Those last steps through the gates in turn left a young elven woman behind. And with that, the Evenstar began her task and entered the wilderness. She may have left her home and her family, but Arwen knew in her heart that they will be with her in every step as they headed to their goal.

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- End of Part One -

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[1] - "Yéta nin": Quenya for "Look at me."
[2] - "Yelya...Undómiel. Oh, manen hae tye have túl.": Quenya for "My daughter, Evenstar. Oh, look at what you have come to be."
[3] - Elenníca: Quenya for "Little star."

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A/N: AND WE FINALLY DONE IT. Part 1 is done! And you have no idea how much I've been wanting this to arrive. Honestly editing this had been hard as it's been so long seeing them at the beginning of their journey.

And so Arwen joins the Fellowship, which is so rare as I've hardly seen any fic that had her come along with them. How does this affect the Fellowship? You will see. ;)

As I said, I'll be posting the Post-Credits straight after this and ALSO Part 2 announcement and its release so please keep a lookout. ;)

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Edited: 15/03/2022