Hours later, things had calmed down considerably. All of them, including Toni, who had already returned from her unknown whereabouts, and with the exception of Shelby, who was still circling the island, had thrown themselves around the fire, lying next to each other to digest the feast they had had. They chatted for a while longer, the incident with Shelby buried in the past so as not to provoke Toni, who seemed to be in a better mood than before, but soon sleep took over and they slept under the sun.

Lydia, whose biological clock had decided that she had already had enough sleep that day, decided to take care of the rest of the tasks while the rest of them rested so she wouldn't have to do them later. She checked the chore chart, and saw that there were no stones in 'clean', so she went to the makeshift clothesline that Dot had set up that morning to collect the dry clothes and clean all the clothes next to the rocks.

She picked up the first of the t-shirts and crouched on the shore, rubbing the fabric that had somehow ended up stained with blood. The crimson circle didn't disappear even under the water, so Lydia rubbed harder, almost angrily, her hands starting to shake and despair seizing her body.

Two in the morning.

She had told her parents that she would be staying over at Heather's house so they wouldn't worry —why lie?, so she wouldn't come home drunk— and yet there she was. She closed the front door with great care, not wanting to wake them up, because she knew a long questioning would await her if she did. She tiptoed up the stairs, avoiding making any useless noise.

When she got to the bathroom, her face changed completely. In the dim light she looked pale, her blue eyes too large for such a disheveled face, her tousled hair pulled back into a ponytail. She took off her jacket quickly, throwing it on the floor, and did the same with the white blouse she was wearing. She left it under the sink, covering it with water so the bloodstains wouldn't dry.

"Crap," the girl whispered to herself. She began to cry as she scrubbed the blouse with soap, the water taking on a reddish tinge while the garment was much cleaner. Tears were running freely down her cheeks, and she had to work hard not to cry out from the helplessness she felt at that moment. "Fuck!" She whispered to herself, slurring the word, and her voice broke.

It had all happened so fast, she hadn't even been able to avoid it. She hit her head, sitting against the bathroom door. The ambulance sirens echoed in her head, the incredulous gasps of the partygoers making her feel threatened. She remembered Heather holding her to calm her, her eyes fixed on the pool of blood, her hands shaking, her nose bleeding.

The last thing she remembered after falling asleep against the bathroom door was how bad a person she felt.

"Fuck!" Lydia screamed, snapping out of her reverie. The stain still didn't rub off well, and in a fit of fury she caught it and threw it to the ground, sand splattering her feet. I'm a bad person, she thought. I deserve this, being fucking abandoned in this island. I earned it. She kept hitting the garment against the sand, eventually replacing it with her bare hands, the sand soft under her punches.

Finally she buried her fingers in the sand, anger and helplessness gradually leaving her body, her chest rising and falling rhythmically, regaining the strength she had lost. She understood that this was not normal behavior, but that pain also made her feel human, an ordinary person, and that was something she had long forgotten. Angrily she brushed the tears from her cheeks, identical to those of her nightmares.

Soon after, the blood on the shirt was gone. It had probably come from some stupid scratch, nothing major, but she couldn't stop hundreds of thoughts from gathering in her head, making her remember what had happened. After all, she felt incapable of forgetting it, forbidding herself to forget it.

"You okay there?" Shelby said behind her, and Lydia just sighed. She didn't like the idea that someone had seen her lose her temper like that, and, strangely, even less that it was Shelby. She didn't turn around, didn't even make a noise. "Need a hand?"

Again, the Texan got no response from Lydia. She felt a mixture of sensations, primarily ashamed that she had seen her out of her mind, and anger that she did not leave her alone. She knew Shelby was only looking for company after what had happened, and Lydia understood that she had come to her because of the bond that united them, but Lydia didn't feel like talking to anyone.

Lydia got up without saying anything, ignoring the presence of Shelby, who had crouched beside her, ready to clean the rest of her clothes. The British could feel the tension, yes, and in part it saddened her that everyone had excluded Shelby from their plans that afternoon, but on the other hand she knew that her words had hurt Toni and that without an apology and a change of mind Shelby wouldn't go nowhere.

"I don't wanna jinx it," Shelby giggled, again behind her, as if she was following Lydia. She continued to hang the clothes, as if Shelby didn't exist. "But I've been getting this feeling, like, intuition wise, rescue is gonna be here real soon." Lydia sighed and left the shirt flat, a breeze of air stirring her hair, and turned to Shelby. "Lydia, what's wrong?"

"What's wrong?" Lydia scoffed, and Shelby understood immediately. "You can't think the way you do."

"I kinda knew this was coming."

"Shelby, I'm serious," Lydia glared at her. "You can't have a problem with someone over who they are, and over something they can't even change."

"Well, I can't fucking accept everybody! But I do try to love them, every damn person, I try so hard even when they don't make it easy. Look me in the eye, Lydia, and tell me that I don't at least do that!"

"The problem is that you don't have to 'accept' someone, you don't have to approve them, their way of life, who they love, whatever they decide to do. You just have to realize that everyone is valid, no matter what. No one is expecting validation from you, Shelby, but you need to open your eyes, see the reality, the world we live in, and accept that it's diverse and that doesn't make it wrong or less valid than you. And I know you come from a Christian home, and nobody here has ever made a bad comment about it, even though some of them are against Toni's 'way of life'. But you need to have your own beliefs, don't justify your thinking saying everyone you know has taught you that, because you are your own person and can change your point of view, too."

Shelby flinched slightly at Lydia's brusque tone of voice. The Texan shifted her weight from one leg to the other, something suddenly uncomfortable when she received the reprimand from who she thought would be the least mad at her. Lydia shook her head and leaned closer to her, forgetting about the rest of the laundry.

"Look, I want to believe you think like this out of ignorance and not out of meanness. I know it might be hard for you to change your mind about this, because it's all you've ever heard, but it's something you have to do. This is not okay, Shelby."

"Lydia!" Fatin yelled from afar, for her voice was muffled. "Lydia!" She called again, this time rolling the 'a'.

The Brit didn't take a second look at Shelby, who frowned, and ran toward the camp. On the way, the image was horrendous: the girls were scattered, some lying on the sand, others near the shore, others directly in the water, vomiting the contents of their stomachs as if it were an epidemic. Lydia searched for Fatin with her eyes, and when she called out to her again she saw her in the sand, Toni's apparently weak body in her arms.

When she crouched next to the cellist, Lydia saw that Shelby was no longer there, but the situation was too crazy to wonder where the Texan had gone.

"What the fuck happened here?"

"It's something we ate, probably the mussels," Fatin answered, her voice weak. "Swallow. Swallow, bitch," The cellist was whispering to Toni, who was wriggling effortlessly in her arms, a can of water close to her lips, but the girl from Minnesota kept spitting it out.

Lydia looked at Toni, and a helpless expression came over her face. The girl was weak, her skin was sweaty, her eyes were closed, and her neck was turned into a posture that indicated she was more dazed than in pain. "Is she okay?" And although Lydia already knew the answer, Fatin shook her head. "You?"

"I think so."

"Can you help me, then? I'll carry her, you grab the things. We need to move her to a shady place, she's too warm," Fatin nodded softly, and Lydia scooped Toni's frail body into her arms, frowning as she growled weakly. "Hey, Toni. Can you hear me? You have to stay with me, yeah? Oh, God, you weigh more than I thought."

Lydia readjusted Toni's body in her arms, the dead weight of the girl not helping the heat Lydia felt as she moved under the sun. The blonde nodded at Fatin, who was walking behind her, a tree that cast enough shade, and Lydia leaned the basketball player's body gently on the sand, only to then rest Toni's head on her lap.

Toni's appearance was much worse than she had imagined at first. Lydia put her hand on her forehead, taking her temperature, and cursed under her breath when she felt warmer than she should. Toni moaned in her arms, the pain probably tearing her apart inside, and Lydia felt helpless that she couldn't do anything more for her. Fatin made Toni drink something else, but the girl resisted.

"How come you're not as hideous as we are right now?" Fatin whined.

"It's because she eats fish and chips," Dot appeared out of nowhere, a frown on her lips but trying to cheer up the situation.

"I only ate, like, a mussel. I don't like seafood, and you all seemed so excited, I wanted to save some for you guys."

Dot walked over to Toni's body to check her pulse, and Lydia paled when Dot turned. "Where the fuck is Leah?"

That was what seemed like an eternity to Lydia. With a dying Toni in her arms, the demons in her head reappeared. She couldn't let her die, she had to stop it, she had to do something. She had to avoid the tragic fate that awaited Toni, just as she had not been able to help at that party. She was coward, she was selfish, she went home as if nothing had happened, drawing the blood from her blouse as if nothing had been her fault.

The girls got better, and proof of this was that they also gathered in the shade, near Lydia and Toni. Despite the fact that several had offered to take care of the one from Minnesota, Lydia had refused to break away from the girl, claiming that she could take care of her, not wanting to take her gaze off Toni for a second.

Dot raised her hands to the sky when Leah appeared shortly after, a black bag in her arms. Lydia frowned when she saw the girl flop down onto the sand, her blue eyes shining and her lips parted, as if she had just seen a ghost. But she didn't care much about Leah's adventures at that time, little did she care if they shared the doubt about Jeanette's body or the strange things that happened on that island: she had returned with the medicine for Toni and that was the only thing that mattered.

Suddenly, Leah ran towards them, Martha also resting beside her, also ill but with a better appearance and omen than Toni. "I have meds for you," the girl announced, breathless. "I— I have a med."

Lydia's eyes widened, looking between Martha and Toni. They hadn't made up yet, but Lydia knew that Martha would never let Toni suffer. "She's really bad," Martha cried.

"I'm fine, Marty," were the first meaningful words Lydia heard from Toni. She shook her a little in her arms, trying to make her stay awake, but Toni only complained again.

"Sit down, you have to drink," Leah grabbed Toni from Lydia's arms, who looked genuinely concerned. She didn't want to relive that scene over and over in her head. Toni spat, refusing to swallow the pill, and Lydia cursed out loud. "Dot!"

At Leah's cry of alarm, Dot and the other girls approached the scene. Toni opened her eyes slightly, overwhelmed by so many people around her, and her mouth twisted into a grimace of disgust when she saw Shelby appear. "This will help," Dot showed them a pill. "But there's only one."

"Come on, it's obvious who needs it most."

Dot seemed to have mixed feelings. She obviously wanted to help Toni, but she didn't want to leave Martha high and dry. "Martha, you good?" She repeatedly nodded, claiming that she would take another type of medicine.

"Okay, Toni," Shelby started. "We're gonna need you to take this, alright?"

"Stay away from me," Toni scolded her, her face completely pale.

"Should Shelby really be in the frontlines of this considering the shit that just went down?" Fatin chimed in, looking at everyone.

"I've got this, alright?" Shelby whined. Lydia thought that she would be feeling guilty about what happened a few hours ago and would want to make up for it, worrying about Toni's condition as well. "If I put this in your hand, can you take it?"

"I'm not gonna take shit from you," Toni replied, spending what little effort she had left on Shelby.

"Fuck it, Shelby, just give it to me, I'll fucking do it."

"Shelby, give her the pill. Give her the fucking pill!" Leah pressed.

Lydia suddenly felt the anxiety settle in her chest. Taking advantage of the fact that Leah was holding Toni, Lydia stood up abruptly, and snatched the pill from Shelby's hands with equal force.

"She could fucking die and you're bickering? Give me the goddamn pill!" Lydia shot a threatening look at the other girls and cupped Toni's face gently. "Hey, babe, I'm going to need you to take this, alright? It'll help ease the pain and you'll be brand new tonight," Lydia tried to be loving and gentle, because she knew that Toni would not react well under pressure. The other girls were silent, looking expectantly at the scene. Toni raised her head, recognizing Lydia's voice from the screams. "I know you're in pain, but this is going to help you, I promise. Look at me," contrary to what everyone thought, Toni looked at her and the previous look at Shelby had now turned into something softer. "Please, Toni."

After a few seconds full of drama and anticipation that seemed endless, the Minnesota girl nodded imperceptibly and opened her mouth a little, waiting for the pill.

"That's it, come on. Give me the water,"Lydia urged. She rested her hand on Toni's back, while with the other she helped her swallow the medicine. "Great job, lad."

"Lay her down," Dot gave the instructions once Toni had taken the pill. The Texan patted Lydia's back in acknowledgment. "Man, you're like the dog whisperer or something."

"It just needed finesse," Lydia mused, laying down beside Toni, recalling what the girl had said previously.

"Fuck, you're good," Fatin answered, a light and tired laugh escaping her lips, and everyone imitated her, causing even Lydia to laugh.

Lydia wasn't separated from Toni for almost three hours. The girl had fallen asleep shortly after taking the pill, and Lydia thought it would have given her a deep sleep that Toni really needed. The British woman had taken care of moistening her face and neck so that the fever would not rise again, she brushed her wet hair from her face and even fanned her a little —I'm not doing this shit again— when Toni complained about the hot.

The girl grinned when the one from Minnesota finally woke up. It had made her feel better, it had made her feel like the past had not been repeated, like she had managed to change things and improve them, and that made her heart swell with joy momentarily. She had managed to help Toni, and it didn't matter much to her that she was the culprit of it, she only cared that someone else hadn't ended up badly because of her actions.

They chatted a bit while the sun was still up, sang the song that Martha had whispered to her while Toni had been nearly unconscious, and even others that they both knew by heart. It seemed that Toni's mood had completely changed, her face regaining its usual color and that characteristic smirk occupying her lips.

Lydia noticed the group of girls away from them, sharing giggles and casting fleeting glances at the two girls. Lydia managed to escape the watchful eyes later, getting Toni to cover her. The one from Minnesota rejoined the group, and they welcomed her as if it were a party.

"She's probably just getting off," Toni shrugged, causing gasps and giggles. She looked straight at Shelby, as if she expected her words to have an effect on the texan girl.

The British girl returned when the sun was about to set, the last rays of daylight saying goodbye. She approached the group, and fortunately no one asked about her absence, and although it seemed strange to her she let it go. The mood was too lively thanks to Toni's speedy recovery for her to screw up by asking.

Some had decided to close their eyes already, like Rachel and Nora, who were getting along better and better —we'll be damned if this island really solves all of our problems, Lydia thought— or Fatin, who huddled in on herself away from the bonfire. She winked at Toni, who was chatting with Martha, and Lydia was glad of it. With a sigh and clearing her throat, she decided to sit next to Shelby, who stared at her, stunned.

"Hey, there."

"Hey," Shelby said softly. "Where were you?"

"Went for a walk. Whatever bullshit Toni said I was doing, I was not," Lydia giggled, trying to lighten up the mood between them. Then she reached for the bag she had left behind her and opened it, showing the contents to Shelby. "I figured you'd be hungry, considering you didn't have even one mussel. It's the best I've found," she picked up a fruit between her fingers and popped it into her mouth. "I promise they're not poisonous, if that's what you think. I could've died out there without you even noticing."

Shelby took the bag on her lap, her eyes traveling to Lydia's. "Did you really go there for me?"

"Well, yeah," Lydia smiled a little. "Are you not hungry? Definitely the rest of them aren't, considering they puked everything they had, like, this whole time here."

"No, no," Shelby scoffed lightly, feeling a little embarrassed but not knowing why. She ate a few berries, and they were better than she had expected. "Are you mad at me?"

Lydia drank some of the water Dot passed her, a knowing look between them. A few seconds later, she shook her head. "No, I'm not mad at you. I'm just disappointed in your words. I just thought you were better than that," Lydia acknowledged, shaking her head again. "Like I said, I trust you do this out of ignorance, not because you hate people. You just have to do better. You have a good heart behind all this fog, Shelby."

"You think so?"

"Hell, yes. I know you were just trying to help this afternoon, so thank you."

Shelby smiled, and was grateful for the darkness of the night that Lydia didn't see her skin turn red. Her smile slowly faded, remembering something. "About this morning... I hope you're feeling better. I don't know what took over you, why you were screaming down at the shore, and I'm not gonna ask you about it because it seems pretty private. But I thought I'd let you know you can talk to me if you need anything, yeah?"

Lydia gulped but smiled a bit nonetheless. "Thank you. I'm better now," she looked at the ground, and when she looked up again, she realized that they were close, closer than they had been when Lydia had sat next to her. Lydia cleared her throat. "We should get some sleep, pretty thing. Wouldn't want to ruin your pageants for when you go back home."

The British didn't see how Shelby sighed deeply, her lips pursing and her hands clutching the cross of her neck.

hey! how are you doing? i wanted to thank you for all your votes and comments, they make me happy as a writer, to be honest. just thought i'd let you know the ship seems obvious, but i'm planning a couple of scenes about a certain raven-haired girl, if you know what i mean ;)

i was so sad when it was shelby's turn to show her story, because she seems like a genuinely good person but her family's harsh with who she really is, so i just hope the show doesn't do her dirty, i think she deserves better