Lydia Winston was not a girl to give up easily. If she had a goal, something she really wanted, then she wouldn't stop until she got it, no matter who she had to face for it. She had grown up knowing she had to be the best, the belief ironically distributed in the form of encouraging paintings around her home in Birmingham —her mother had liked the idea that Lydia remained motivated even at home. She had known since she was a child that she had to follow her parents' success, and they had almost created a robot programmed for it.

So if they had asked Lydia what she was willing to do for those takis, maybe in California she wouldn't have given it a second thought, but on this island she was up to anything. She was in charge of tying the logs she had obtained with Toni in the forest while the girl returned to the trees to collect more material. Nora was pacing around, not having a certain trade, and Shelby was kneeling in the sand, discussing something with Martha, who had clearly chosen her best friend's side despite not participating, but Lydia paid no more attention than required to them.

After all, it had been Shelby who was deciding to be a little girl and not speak to her after Lydia had decided to follow in Toni's footsteps. Maybe Toni and Shelby were more alike than they thought, both jealous when the person they were closest to chose someone else. So Lydia hadn't even bothered to ask what was wrong with her —she'd known Shelby for a couple of days, literally, and decided she preferred those takis on her stomach.

Toni returned shortly after, and it seemed that it was going to be the last time she left, as she left the branches on the ground near the shelter that Lydia was in charge of setting up, and wiped the sweat from her face. She asked Lydia for space to put up the strongest branches she'd gotten, and the blonde just nodded, knowing that Toni wasn't in a good mood and that she just wanted to feel useful and forget about that stupid contest.

"We'll make a special trip to Waco," Lydia heard Shelby say to Martha, and she really hoped she didn't do it just to provoke Toni, who sneakily turned away.

"Are you serious?"

"That'd be so much fun."

"Oh my God. Just the two of us?" Martha asked, and that was the last straw for Toni.

"Fuck," the raven haired girl muttered, but both Nora and Lydia got to hear her.

Nora approached her, Lydia supposed that with the intention of helping her, because one of the last branches had slipped from Toni's hands when she heard the conversation between Shelby and her best friend. Lydia shot a withering look at the two girls, knowing it would provoke a response from Toni, which would probably be negative and cost them dearly.

"Let me help you with that," Nora said sweetly.

"Not necessary," Toni snapped back.

Toni kept trying to position the branch, but Nora shrugged. "No, I don't think—"

"Nora, I said that I got it," the girl replied, and pushed Nora to the ground, which immediately made Lydia react, who had been keeping herself busy during those minutes so as not to interfere.

The blonde approached to help Nora up, who was somewhat stunned by Toni's attitude despite knowing her. Lydia watched as Toni stopped struggling to build this little shelter, and felt in her stomach that the worst was about to happen.

She knew people like Toni. They found it difficult to maintain control even in their daily life, so not to mention when things got ugly. The British watched cautiously as Toni watched the branch fall, making noise against the others, which made Shelby and Martha turn, even the members of the other team left their chores to investigate what was happening on the other side.

"Okay, I'm sorry," Nora apologized.

"I said that I fucking had it!" However, Toni was not civil.

Nora asked for forgiveness again, but her words fell on deaf ears. Lydia watched from a distance as Martha got to her feet, and the blonde guessed that this madness about Toni had already happened in the past. "You need to tone it down," Shelby said in the most conciliatory way she could.

Toni took the materials Martha and Shelby were working with and threw them at the shelter attempt —now totally destroyed. Lydia decided that she had seen enough, that she was not going to deal with that attitude from Toni. So she walked over to her and grabbed her tightly, trying to immobilize her. "Get off me!" The one from Minnesota screamed angrily and as loud as she could.

She resisted in the arms of Lydia, who luckily was taller and more athletic than Toni, but the girl's anger was too much for Lydia. Toni tried to escape her grip, but Lydia was cunning enough to squeeze her arms tightly and prevent her from doing more damage than she had already done.

"Stop fucking moving!" Lydia screamed at her, turning red from the effort she was putting in and her voice breaking as a result. Toni still resisted, but seemed to realize what she had caused when she found herself face to face with Martha's hurt gaze. "Enough, Toni."

"Toni..." Martha trailed off, not knowing what to say. Or rather, not knowing what to say in front of the other girls. So she just left, a disappointed look in her dark eyes.

Then Lydia released Toni, who was no longer even struggling to move. She was breathing raggedly, her chest rising and falling at a rapid pace, slowly becoming aware of the reproachful look Martha had sent her. Lydia was almost sorry for the situation, but saw how her shelter —in which she had spent hours in the sun working— was shattered, and she reminded herself that Toni had caused that to feel some anger.

The girl from Minnesota ran out seconds later, not bearing the guilt she felt for letting Martha down in such a way, leaving her team stranded. The other team kept glancing at them, but seeing that it could no longer be fixed, they continued with their shelter —it was the only thing that would cover their heads that night.

"It's okay, Nora," Lydia tried to dissuade the girl, who still had a guilty look on her face. She rubbed her arm with a small smile. "We can take a little break now!"

Rachel cleared her throat for the others to hear, and before Lydia could sit on a rock, she sighed.

"Or we might as well help you, considering your shelter's the only thing we have."

So Lydia got back to work, not caring about the sun that burned her skin, or the dirt she felt in all parts of her body, or the fatigue she had carried since she had collected the logs in the forest. After all, if she wanted to be the best, she couldn't let exhaustion get in the way —she had to get it done and that was it.

"Something to drink for my hot girl summer?" Fatin asked behind her, watching as Lydia used the ax to nail the wood into the sand, offering her a drink of her Diet Coke.

"Body ody ody ody..." Lydia crooned before sipping some of the soda, laughing afterwards along with Fatin, who sat down again near her suitcase and Marcus.

It got dark early, as there was barely an hour of light left, but the shelter was finished before thanks to the collaboration of the other girls. It was not too wide, but it was enough that they could all fit and shelter in an emergency. Also, many of them would appreciate the human warmth the others gave off.

Martha returned shortly after, claiming that she had needed some space for herself, but returned without Toni, which did not seem like a good sign for Lydia, who was worried that Toni could do something crazy that she would later regret. She found her sitting on the sand, gazing silently out to sea and hugging herself. However, Lydia thought that this time it was better to leave her alone to clear her mind.

"That was quite the show, huh?" Lydia heard a voice behind her as she sat down to rest near the water herself. Shelby was approaching her slowly, her hands folded behind her back innocently, her lips pressed into a fine line. "You must be tired."

"Now you're talking to me?" She scoffed.

Shelby frowned. "What do you mean?"

"You haven't said a word to me all evening. I take it as a revenge for me taking Toni's side at first?"

"What? No," Shelby smiled as if trying to convince herself. Then her smile faltered. "I just, kind of, hoped you said something to stick up for me. You know, Toni has Martha, she could've handled her just fine; but it was you who went after her. I know, it's stupid. It's not your fault, really, it was a silly expectation. The situation was already uptight and I guess I didn't want to add more fuel to the fire by pressuring you."

"You're right, I'm sorry," Lydia dismissed, shaking her hand. "I didn't want her to run around the forest all alone, we have to stick together," She sent Shelby a little smile, and Shelby's widened. "Everything good then?"

"Of course. Here, let me," Shelby reached for the fabric of her sweatshirt to wipe the makeup from Lydia's cheeks.

"Thanks."

"You did the same for me, remember?"

"Dinner is ready, children!" Dot's voice from the new shelter interrupted their conversation, and while Lydia was dying to try those takis, Shelby would have rejected them just to stay there a few moments longer.

Lydia dropped dramatically into the shelter, taking a seat next to Fatin and making room for Shelby and Martha, who entered after her.

"It's humble, but it's our home," Dot proclaimed, and felt pleasure run down her throat as she swallowed the first of the takis. She then offered a few to the others.

"It's okay, we didn't win," Shelby excused herself, not wanting to take advantage of her.

"Hell no," Lydia chimed in, softly taking the bag of takis from Dot's hands. "God is going to witness the end of my famine," she declared, swallowing one of the takis and folding her hands in prayer.

Dot and Leah laughed as Shelby pretended to be angry —you won't say God's name in vain— elbowing her in the ribs, but she knew Lydia was only joking, and she couldn't get mad at her for some reason. So she snatched the bag from her, sticking her tongue out, and shared it with Martha.

"Ugh, not as good as I thought they'd be," Dot complained.

"All I taste is dry," Leah seconded.

"Hey, mind if I have some? And I'll be careful not to make any sudden movements, you know, you might be pretty jumpy sitting next to a psycopath," Rachel told Leah directly, and the rest of the girls fell silent, feeling the tension between the two.

Lydia ventured that Fatin had had something to do with it, given the wound Leah had inflicted on her leg and her desire for revenge. However, Fatin pretended not to know what they were talking about, not even looking Leah in the eye when she looked for her. She drummed her fingers on her finished can of Coke.

"Does anyone have any spare drinks they can loan me?"

They all looked around, and then at the ground, not knowing what to say other than that they, too, had few left and did not want to waste them.

"Dude, we're all running low. You're supposed to manage your own things," Dot replied in a conciliatory tone. Lydia liked that Dot commanded so much respect but didn't take advantage of it by yelling at them.

"Why are you always so thirsty? It's not like you're exhausting yourself," Leah seemed to want to argue.

"It can be the sodian bicarbonate," Nora piped in, an innocent look in her eyes.

"You know, I'm sick of hearing this shit. Let me ask you something, all of you: whose hypo allergenic pyjamas we've shredded to bind together the logs? And whose sweaters are keeping you ingrate from freezing? Some people provide goods, some provide services. I'm a goods provider, therefore I get a pass—"

"That's such bullshit! You're a goods provider because you had the stupid good fortune to find your fucking bag."

Suddenly Lydia was very overwhelmed with so much screaming and in such a small space. She didn't like people yelling at each other, and if she could help it, all the better. But this time it was different, she just wanted to disappear from that scene and teleport to some other calm place. She closed her eyes and breathed softly so that no one would notice the internal debate in her head.

"Please, just listen to me—"

"Listen to what?" Her friend snapped, her voice hurt and her eyes wet. "Don't fucking come near me, Lydia, I swear. Fucking leave!"

The knot in her throat caused by the tears that yearned to come out expanded by moments, traveling to her chest, where she felt enormous pressure. She moved closer to Julia, and Julia just snorted, it seemed to Lydia that she was disgusted.

"You're the worst person I've ever met in my life. At first I thought you were just hurt, that you wanted a friend. But I trusted you, I trusted in you, I told you things I've never told anyone, and this is how you fucking repay me? Don't talk to me ever again," Julia yelled close to her face, tears rolling freely down Lydia's cheeks.

She came out of her lethargy when Fatin pushed her way between the girls' legs to exit the shelter. Lydia looked at her and thought of coming to her rescue, but Shelby's hand met hers, and the Texan entwined their fingers tightly, a shadow of a sad smile on her lips. She thought that this time she could stay there.

Lydia was not aware of how long it had been since the girls gradually fell asleep, she only watched with curiosity as the fire continued to crackle despite the cold outside. She shifted a bit in her place, for the skin on her back was burned by the sun and it came in direct contact with the shelter tarp. At the sudden contact, Shelby moved too, though she was still sleeping, Lydia realized.

The British woman brushed a lock of hair out of her eyes and tucked it behind her ear. She gently ran her fingertips over the wound on her temple that had been made the first day, and Shelby let out a satisfied sigh.

"Careful not to wake your lover girl," Lydia raised her head when she heard Fatin speak, sitting on her suitcase and near the fire.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

Fatin smirked. "Church girl is ready to sin for you, honey."

Lydia shifted in her place again, this time somewhat uncomfortable at the girl's statements. She decided not to give it more importance than it had, since Fatin was probably just trying to get her out of her mind. "Where the hell were you?"

Fatin shrugged. "Wandering around this place, considering we're staying here for a long fucking time. I needed to get away from your negativity, stress is not good for the skin. It can cause your skin to break out and wrinkle, did you know?"

Against all odds, Lydia let out a laugh. Of course Fatin would be the only person who cared about her skin while stranded on a desert island. This made Lydia think that Fatin might not be in a hurry to go home. But Lydia remembered that Fatin had everything she wanted: a luxurious room, money to pay for her whims, hell!, she would even go to Juilliard next year for her gift with the cello.

"Do you not think they're coming for us soon?" Lydia dared to ask, Fatin's features glowing from the reflection of the fire.

The girl shrugged again, although this time it took her a little longer to answer. "I wouldn't bet on it. I shouldn't even be here. My parents signed me up for this without taking into account my opinion. It wasn't even my fucking fault."

"I think most of us are here against our will," Lydia muttered, recalling in her head Leah's situation with her ex-boyfriend, or herself, her parents not even listening to her because of what had happened years ago.

Fatin motioned for her to come closer so they could chat quietly. Lydia didn't particularly like the idea of ​​losing the warmth Shelby gave her, but this time it was the cellist who needed her the most. She rested Shelby's head on one of Fatin's folded sweatshirts and left the shelter.

"What did you do to end up here?" Fatin asked her, patting a spot next to her suitcase for Lydia to take a seat. "Depressed because of a predator ex-boyfriend as Miss Psychopath? To control your anger issues like Toni?"

Lydia flinched. The truth was she wished she could say it was something like those situations —which, of course, weren't stupid, but Lydia didn't think they came close to her problems. The Brit simply shrugged, trying to sound as convincing as possible. "They thought I needed a break. You know, I've been working my arse off since I got into high school just to be able to get into Oxford, so they imagined a summer surrounded by girls my age would be nice for me."

Fatin fidgeted with her fingers, still not believing she was about to tell someone what she did. "Your parents seem really nice people, then," Lydia put a fake smile on her face. "Mine just wanted to get rid of me. Long story short, I found my father was cheating on my mother, so I sent the pictures I found to everyone on his contact list. They were not happy about it, so this retreat was something similar to rehab for me," Fatin chuckled.

Lydia's eyes widened and her mouth hung open when she realized what Fatin had done. However, far from scolding her behavior, she covered her mouth with her hand to prevent the others from hearing how she laughed uncontrollably. Fatin joined her soon after, not feeling entirely proud of what she had done, but still finding the humor in it. "You're a boss."

"I sure felt like one the moment I did it. Not when I found my mom crying because of it, though. But instead of listening to me, she defended my father like she wasn't the one being cheated on. Fucktards."

Lydia nudged her side. "They signed you up for this, just imagine how guilty they must be feeling now we've tragically ended up in this island. You win now," Fatin smiled slightly, looking down. "Hey, you okay about before? I think Leah's just losing her mind little by little. I can't blame her, though, this place is exhausting."

"I honestly think you're the only one who wouldn't have my head," Fatin shrugged. "We've been here just for a few days and you're the most composed one out of everyone. How do you do that?"

Lydia looked down, feeling suddenly cornered. Her blue eyes fixed on the fire crackling near her, just like the fire she had felt that night inside her. Everything had gotten out of hand. Her parents had stopped trusting her. She had taken a flight to California that same month. She had to be okay if she wanted to go home, get back the life she had left there. She had to go back to being normal, and for that she had to make sure everything was fine, leave the past behind, show that she had become a new person.

Maybe that's why she was so good at hiding that everything was fine when she was really drowning inside; because she had learned that that way others would see that she was okay, and that was all she needed.

Lydia's eyes darkened a little, perhaps from the darkness of the night, or perhaps from the darkness within her, but when she looked back at Fatin everything was fine.

"If I don't, who's going to do it? Oh, and by the way, don't even think about taking with you those cans: they will surely have both our heads if they find out you took them. Have one of mine, yeah?"