"Hey! The phone's working!"

Those were the words that managed to bring Lydia out of her slumber. Not that she had forgotten where she was or what was happening, but her mind was still too shocked and terrified in equal measure by what had happened just hours ago.

Rachel kept waving the phone in her hand, her expressive scowl recently replaced by a smile, as if this cell phone was the only hope they had of getting out of there and everything would work out. Lydia was one of the first to advance towards the athlete, no matter how much hopelessness was in her heart: they had to try. "Listen, we have to think it through. We have one bar and almost zero life battery left. Every second counts."

"May I say I'm ready to make the call. My aunt is a 911 operator."

"911 is out," Rachel deadpanned. "It doesn't work in every country and we don't know where we are."

Hearing those words made Lydia disconnect from the conversation again. It wasn't that she needed a reality check, but remembering everything that had happened made her feel tired and deeply hopeless. She was a bit relieved to see that she was not the only one, because Jeanette only looked at the ground, Leah did the same and Nora only intervened when her sister spoke, otherwise she seemed as puzzled as Lydia.

The only person she could think of to call was her grandmother. Her heart broke at the thought of her, how worried she would be, how guilty she should be feeling when she knew the catastrophe that her granddaughter was experiencing. After all, she had been the one who had taken her to the airport and, one way or another, the plane had been the trigger for everything. She wondered what she was doing, if she had been informed of the accident, if she was mourning her impending loss, if she had even told her parents.

She watched in silence as the cell phone circulated through the hands of all her colleagues, eager to receive a simple "hello?" on the other side of the phone, but without success. She soon realized that she would have no one to call, as her parents would never pick up the phone if they didn't know the number, and her grandmother would probably be the same. She thought of calling one of her friends in Birmingham, but if they happened to pick up the phone and Lydia told them what had happened, they would think she was high and would hang up instantly.

"Wanna give it a try?" Martha handed her the phone, but Lydia just shook her head.

"Here," Fatin chimed in, her perfect nails tapping against the phone screen. "Though I hate the idea of ​​calling those assholes."

The girl walked away from the group when she heard beeps, and Lydia followed shortly after, eager to find out if anyone had managed to connect with the real world. Fatin shook her head shortly after, both girls rolling their eyes in despair. "Fuck, it's dead."

"She's— She's dead," Leah said from her position, completely taken aback.

The other eight girls joined each other, silently watching the scene, shock evident on their faces. Leah was still crouched next to Jeanette, blood spurting from her mouth, staining her shirt.

Lydia swallowed hard, her eyes blurring with tears that threatened to come out. She clenched her hands tightly, in such a way that her nails dug into her palms and she felt a warm liquid run on her skin. Her hands were trembling again like those of a frightened child and she opened and closed them several times just so she could feel them. Beside her, Fatin was trembling as well, her gaze lost on Leah's words and her eyes as wet as those of the blonde beside her.

Martha and Toni embraced, and Fatin wasted no time seeking refuge in the arms of the British girl despite having known her for only a few hours. Fatin turned her back on the scene as Lydia continued to stare at the corpse of the last of the girls, gently slapping the girl's back.

"Lydia, you're bleeding," Heather spoke up at last. She took her by her shoulders and found her gaze, once again blank. "Did she hit you? Please tell me what happened."

The sirens of the ambulance were heard closer and closer. The party was over, its assistants had gathered in the garden to watch the scene.

"N... no."

The blonde suddenly let go of Fatin's grip, who wasn't the only one surprised by Lydia's outburst. Night was beginning to fall —wherever they were— so Lydia took the opportunity to get closer to the sea before the water was frozen. She crouched in the water, trying not to wet the fabric of her pants and his t-shirt any more, and rubbed her palms in anguish.

She let out a hiss of pain as the sea salt made contact with the open wound on her palms, but she continued to rub as if the pain would heal everything. Fresh blood drained from her skin and melted into the seawater, leaving only small wounds left on her hands that would go unnoticed —or so she hoped.

She also took the opportunity to refresh the blush on her cheeks, caused by that surreal situation. The tears in her eyes seemed to have vanished, so she sighed deeply to silence the pounding of her heart again. Suddenly a hand came to rest on her shoulder, and Lydia nearly jumped at the contact.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you."

"I'm sorry, Ms. Winston. I didn't mean to startle you. I just have a few questions for you."

"It's okay. I'm just... overwhelmed."

"It's okay, officer. I'm a bit overwhelmed, that's all."

"Well, fuck me if you don't have reasons to. We were thinking about burying her, at least to give her a little memorial. Are you coming?"

Lydia nodded, rubbing her eyes as if this were just a dream she would soon awaken from. She realized that this was not the case when the other girl's arms helped her regain her balance and sent her a small smile of understanding.

"What the hell is happening, Toni?"

"Leah says she had internal bleeding. She has a big bruise on her stomach, so I guess that's what caused her bleeding. She must've gotten it while falling off the plane. But it's so strange, isn't it? The rest of us are just fine."

"If you call going fucking crazy just fine," Lydia trailed off, which caused a little smirk on Toni's lips.

Night had definitely fallen on the island when Jeanette's body had been moved to a place further away from the ocean current. Nora, Toni, Dot and Lydia had taken care to dig a hole large enough to comfortably bury the young woman, while Shelby, Rachel, Martha and Leah had taken on the task of wrapping her body in a sheet and lowering it to where it would be her grave. Fatin had stayed away from it all, taking a seat on a rock and hugging her own body, still in shock.

"It's only temporary," Dot confirmed for everyone. "Just to keep the animals away."

"Shouldn't somebody say a few words?" Shelby asked, her brows furrowed.

"Sounds like you're volunteering."

"I am an ordained youth minister," Shelby almost scoffed. Then she clasped her hands in prayer. "Lord, thank you for the gift of Jeanette. We didn't know her well, but she had a really bright spirit. And because she was made to your image, we can be sure that she was beautiful. Amen."

A chorus of 'amen' was heard from all the girls, some of them still with their eyes on the little J made of stones that they had managed to draw in the sand. Lydia's gaze drifted to Leah, and the Californian couldn't help but feel really bad for her. It was she who had found her on the high seas, who had rescued her from certain death in the water; just to be the one to see her short life come to an end.

Suddenly Leah began to sing a song. The other girls stared at her, trying to figure out why she had thought it was time to sing. "I think she liked Pink."

"Yeah, she did," Nora chimed in, her voice soft.

Then they began to sing that song, a noticeable sad note in their voices, but Lydia kept quiet. The others didn't notice, but Fatin, who had joined the chorus out of respect, nudged her gently.

"I'm an asshole," Lydia whispered as softly as she could, moving closer to Fatin so no one else would hear. Her lips barely moved. "I don't know the words to this song."

Far from being offended, Fatin snorted. Some of them turned, but the girl managed to hide it with a cough, taking up the lyrics once more. Lydia was looking at her with a frown, not sure whether to be offended or relieved.

When her knees touched the sand, Lydia wondered if she had really hit rock bottom years ago, or if this was being the worst time of her life. She gently covered Jeanette's body with sand, trying to keep some of her remaining sanity. Finally they all walked away from that scene, eager to get to a safe place where they could be at peace with themselves.

They didn't get to find that, but they did manage to camp far enough from shore in case the tide rose. They lined up, but the gazes of the remaining nine never met the others. Lydia decided to exercise to keep her mind occupied, as she always did; the book she had brought for it, forgotten somewhere.

She rested her hands on the sand and mentally counted the push-ups she was doing. Rachel stepped in front of her when Dot had started a fire. "Do you always work out?" And she imitated her actions of playing sports.

"Only when I'm anxious, which is, like, a ninety percent of the time," Lydia smiled a bit, joking around, and Rachel smiled, too.

"Are you an athlete? Your voice didn't waver when you spoke."

"I used to play football back in England, but no, not right now. You know, have to keep my head in the game. Being the game fucking Oxford."

Rachel scoffed incredulously. "Are you going to Oxford?"

"At least that was my parents' intention. Maybe— Maybe not anymore." Lydia stopped talking.

She remembered suddenly how many times she had thought that she did not want to go to Oxford, that she did not want to follow in her parents' footsteps, and how many times she had been silent, because that was what her parents expected of her. The couple were enthusiastic about their brilliant daughter, so much so that they had obliged to send her to Oxford without even asking her what it was she wanted to do.

She inevitably remembered how many times she had thought of yelling at them that this was not what she wanted, that she wanted to be herself, to be able to choose her career. But, her eyes traveling all over the girls on the island, now she thought maybe Oxford wasn't so bad. The hell she was living would surely improve.

"I'm going to swim to the plane tomorrow, see if I can find anything. A radio, a phone or something. You should come with, you seem to have great lungs."

Lydia just nodded, not wanting to lose focus on her exercise. When she felt that her arms could not take it any more, she simply dropped, and she hated how the sand stuck to her body from the heat it gave off.

"Why's your stuff so dry?"

"My parents bought me this artight, thousand dollar suitcase for this trip. To sweeten the deal. Fucktards," her gaze lost in the fire, but then she saw the other girls shiver, and she smiled apologetically. "Sorry."

The British approached the group; not looking for warmth, but rather for company. She bore the island cold quite well, since England had been much colder than it was getting now. She sat down next to Fatin, who offered her a sweatshirt but she refused, leaving others to bundle up.

"Well... Would it be crazy if I suggested a little... icebreaker? Never have I ever feels right," Shelby said.

"Alright. Only if you go first," Toni agreed bluntly. "Not those bullshit light answers. Give us the real."

"Fine. Never have I ever had vaginal penetrative intercourse."

They looked at each other, as if what Shelby had just said was stupid. Most of the girls pulled out their little bottles of alcohol and took a drink, Fatin handing one to Lydia. "Grabbed one for you. Figured you'd need it," and then the two girls toasted and had a drink.

"So that's why your boyfriend's a cheat?" Toni laughed at Shelby, who hadn't drank.

"He's not a cheat," Shelby protested.

"Don't be rude," Lydia muttered but everyone heard her, wiping the liquid from her mouth.

"Alright..." Dot trailed off, obviously trying to diminish the tension. "Never have I ever had a threesome." Fatin drank, earning a gentle nudge from Lydia, who laughed. "With two guys, not two girls," and Fatin drank again. "On my period."

The other girls chuckled at the incredulous look on Fatin, who made a move to drink but then lowered the bottle. "I mean, I'm not a freak."

"Alright, I've got one," Rachel chimed in. "Never have I ever thrown my own piss at someone."

Lydia laughed, accompanied by the others, at this dangerously specific question. But she laughed even louder when Toni smirked and drank. "With pride, motherfuckers."

The game died down shortly after. Rachel continued with her exercise routine, as it seemed like the alcohol hadn't affected her at all; Toni and Martha stayed by the fire, probably talking about things that no one else would understand; and Leah moved away from the group and approached the shore. Lydia thought she wanted to clear her mind a bit, and who was she to judge her? It wasn't like she was going to go after every girl to worry about their lives.

Do not misunderstand Lydia, she would have loved to be with each and every one of those girls, who obviously had a much deeper history in their homes than they showed, but the British had her own problems to deal with. She couldn't be the psychologist for the whole group or the problems would pile up in her head.

Fatin snapped her out of her reverie with a light touch to the head, indicating that she was going to get up and that if it bothered her she would have to remove her head from her lap. Lydia nodded silently, lying on her stomach and watching the fire from a short distance. Shelby, with a smile that had appeared out of nowhere, approached Toni and Martha, probably with the intention of knowing the condition of the girl's ankle. Toni left the moment Shelby sat next to them, a slightly awkward smile on the Texan's face.

Lydia decided to relax the atmosphere a bit, also approaching, feeling a little bad for the Texan, whose only intention was to help Martha.

"How are we doing over here?"

The two girls grinned widely as Lydia flopped down beside them, the fire crackling near her legs. "It still hurts, but less than before. I think tomorrow I will go to the sea and apply cold water. Thank you so much, Lydia," Martha smiled gratefully. "Oh, here you go," she mused, removing the artificial ankle bandage and handing it to the Brit. "You must be freezing." Lydia winked at her and let the soft fabric caress her skin again. "I should go check on Toni. She's a bit irrational sometimes, I'm afraid you'll find out sooner or later."

"What'cha thinking?" Lydia asked the other blonde when Martha had disappeared down the hill.

"Probably all of you thought it was stupid. You know, me having a boyfriend but not..."

"Oh, the sex topic," Lydia nodded. "I don't think you should be ashamed of it, or worried about what other people think. If you want to save yourself until you're married, that's valid, too. That's what you believe in, I'm not going to judge you."

Shelby smiled a little. "How was it... the first time?"

Lydia slapped her face, obviously embarrassed. "The first time is usually horrible. One of you, or even the both of you, are inexperienced, you don't even know what goes where, what feels good and what doesn't. It hurts a bit, but the pain goes away after a while. Then everything goes smoothly. It takes a lot of courage and love, you know? Saving yourself. You must really love your boyfriend."

"Yeah..." Shelby trailed off.

"Don't let Toni get to you. She's probably as confused as we're right now, and snapping is the only way for her to cope. I'm sure she didn't mean to offend you."

The Texan smiled and shook her head, her gaze never meeting Lydia's. "It's alright. It's... alright, really. I think I'm going to sleep. Rough day."

Lydia threw one of the blankets over Shelby's slender body, who snuggled into herself, and gave the British one last smile as she covered her. "Night, virgin Mary. Just kidding!"