The reality was that Lydia hadn't had such a good time in a long time. Maybe it was the alcohol in her system, maybe it was the marijuana bear that she had taken, or maybe it was just how alien she felt to civilization that made her forget other problems at last. At another time it would have been sad for her that one of her best memories became splashing on the beach on an island where she was lost with eight other girls she had known for a few weeks, but at that moment it seemed like something to treasure.

She tried to float on the water, lying on her back, her eyes closed tightly upon the sun shining on them, but a soft laugh always took hold of her and she sank back into the sea. The tide carried her back to the shore, where the others had already stripped off all the clothes they had been able to remove and splashed, fought amicably, or struggled to knock each other off the shoulders of another girl.

Lydia was oblivious to the scene until she found herself in the middle of that pitched battle when Fatin dragged her by the legs and pulled her close. "Stop! I'm going to drown!" Lydia complained between laughter, kicking for the cellist to release her foot. She finally joined the group of girls, and laughed again when she saw that Dot was carrying Nora on her back, and she was whipping her like a horse.

She helped herself up out of the water, realizing that she was closer to shore than she had thought. She thought she had probably looked stupid trying to float in such shallow water, but she cared little: exhilaration ran through her veins, she was slightly drunk, and they were going home.

She staggered when she felt someone wrap their arms around her, and was surprised when she saw it was Leah. However, her drunken state did not allow her to be angry with her, so she hugged her with the same intensity. "I am a heartless asshole and I'm sorry about it, but I don't want you to be mad at me!" Leah whimpered, her arms still wrapped around Lydia's neck. "It's like my mom being mad at me, I don't like it."

"Shut up," Lydia told her with a frown, but started to laugh when she tripped Leah's foot underwater and she fell. Her fun, however, was short-lived, for Leah pulled her into the water. She sucked in as much air as she could when she came out, for Leah had held her back longer than she would have liked, but when the two looked at each other, they burst into laughter. "Don't give me those puppy eyes or I won't be able to hold this grudge against you."

"I screwed up, I know. I just don't want to be fighting with anyone, we're going to leave soon and we probably won't see each other in a long time!"

"Leah, she lives in the same fucking state as you," Fatin chimed in, a smirk on her lips.

"Oh."

"I wish I knew you guys before," Lydia whispered to nothing. "We probably wouldn't have hit it off like this, but I think you're both great lads."

"Awe," Fatin trailed off, clasping her hands. "Come on, come here."

Fatin put one arm around Leah and the other one around Lydia, and the two blue-eyed girls followed suit. They heard shouts of "hug!" around them, and they laughed happily again, oblivious to everything that was happening far away, when the other girls also joined in the hug. "Okay, enough love for today! Fight!"

Lydia couldn't listen carefully to who had shouted those words, but they all repeated them aloud and shouted again, throwing themselves at each other. Anyone could have thought it was an endearing scene: eight teenage girls playing in the sea like girls, hugging and having a good time, and the truth is that they all had that feeling. They had momentarily forgotten that they were on a deserted island, but they hadn't forgotten that they would be returning home soon, and they wanted to seize the moment.

Because the truth is that Lydia had grown used to them, and had even learned to love their presence. She may have had a better relationship with some, but she had no doubt that once she was back in California, she would miss the moments she had with these girls. She stopped for a moment and looked at them, appreciating every detail of their happy faces, and thought about how happy her grandmother or parents could be at that moment. Maybe that was just what she had needed; maybe she was already cured.

She snapped out of her slumber with a slight push from Dot, who pointed at Rachel and Nora in front of them. "These twins are finally showing some love to each other. I've got Rachel, you've got Nora, make them fight!"

"You're choosing violence, Dot," Lydia said, trying to keep her voice serious. "Hey, Nora! Come here, we're going to smash these losers!"

"Alright, let's figure out what Shelby thinks," Dot proposed.

The mere mention of the Texan's name made Lydia a little more sober. She turned her gaze to Shelby, who was sitting on the shore, with the only company of the vodka bottle, and Lydia frowned. She didn't want to make her uncomfortable after what happened, as she thought it would have been something that would have taken Shelby a lot of effort, but Lydia would have liked to resume their good relationship as if nothing had happened, and much more now that they were going home and they wouldn't see each other for a long time.

"Shelby!" Dot yelled, moving closer to shore, pulling Lydia with her. "Look, if you're not fighting, at least place your bet. Vegas has me and Rach at twenty to one, odds on favorite! Let's show them how we do this!"

Lydia watched Shelby giggle from a distance, but couldn't tell if it was because drunk Dot was so funny, or Shelby's own intoxicated state. Either way, Lydia smiled a little involuntarily: it was gratifying to see her smile after all. So when they exchanged glances, Lydia just shrugged, not daring to say anything to her.

"Giddy up, Nora. I don't care that she's your sister, you have to show no mercy, yeah?" Lydia put a deep voice, but that only made Nora laugh and not take her recommendations seriously. Nevertheless, she obeyed Lydia, who reached down and hoisted Nora onto her shoulders.

However, the joy of the moment didn't last long, because Lydia frowned and realized that Dot was bleeding. "Where?" The Texan asked. Lydia dropped Nora, whose weight she had barely noticed on her shoulders, and walked over to Dot to detect the source of the bleeding.

"It's me," Rachel said softly but confusedly. "I'm sorry, I'm just— I'm gonna—" but she didn't say anything else, she just walked away under the watchful eye of the other girls.

Lydia didn't miss Rachel's terrified look when she saw the stain, or her confusion when she ran out of there; nor Nora's worried look when she saw her sister walk away from them. She didn't say anything, just kept to herself the assumptions of why the two sisters had reacted that way, if menstruating was natural.

The girls' immediate reactions were to separate from the group and each go to her person, so while Toni took refuge in Martha, Lydia looked for Fatin. "Oh, shark week for Rachel," the cellist smiled, but they all realized there was no humor in the situation.

"Not the time," Lydia whispered to her under her breath, though she knew Fatin hadn't done it with bad intentions, but was only meant to liven up the situation.

"Why everytime I try to crack a joke people decide it's not funny?"

"You're funny, Fatin, you just need to read the room."

Fatin smiled widely. "You think I'm funny?"

"A whole comedian. God, stop being so full of yourself," Lydia scoffed, but smiled and lied down on the sand.

A little further away from them, Shelby was still clinging to the vodka bottle. Her mind was clouded, as was her vision, but the liquid didn't seem to go down. She admitted to herself that she hadn't tasted alcohol too many times before, so maybe that was why she felt dizzy without drinking too much. Even so, even with the liquid invading her body, she couldn't get rid of the image she had of Lydia in her head.

Nothing seemed to be able to erase the image of the girl in the forest. She looked so ethereal, so beautiful in that light, her blue eyes shining and that pretty smile dancing on her lips. Shelby hated feeling like this, she knew she shouldn't, but she still couldn't help it, and it was slowly killing her inside. She had suspected from the first moment that her father had sent her to this retreat to 'cure' what was happening to her, but little did Dave Goodkind know that it had only made Shelby reaffirm once more who she really was.

Shelby's heart raced when she felt Lydia's gaze on her, but she flipped when Fatin turned to look at her as well, and her breath hitched. Why were the two of them looking at her? Were they talking about her? Would Lydia have been able to confess to Fatin what had happened in the forest? Shelby swallowed, then sipped from the bottle, unable to contain herself.

Finally Fatin got up, Shelby didn't get to hear the reason, but said goodbye to Lydia with a melodious laugh and lay down with the others, still high. The Texan took advantage of this moment to approach Lydia, who was making figures with the wet sand. Shelby watched them from a distance, but decided to sit next to her.

"Hey, what are you, uh, what are you doing over here?"

Lydia looked at her. "Leaving my mark on this island. Now that we're leaving, I'd like to collect some of this place to take it back with me. Not really sure why."

"Well, that makes two of us. Zero clue why you'd want any souvenir from this godforsaken place."

"What do you want, Shelby?" Lydia sighed. "You avoid me all day and now you're hovering. It sucks you're avoiding me, so just talk to me and tell me what do you want."

Shelby seemed to hesitate a bit at Lydia's sad look, but spoke nonetheless. "What I want is to know exactly what you and Fatin were talking about."

"Well, considering she's ripped out of her skull, either how bad she wants to fuck some guy whenever she comes back, or the fancy restaurant she's going to go to, and I quote, stuff her fucking mouth with the most expensive steak she can find on the menu."

Shelby laughed humorlessly, as if she didn't believe Lydia's words. Part of her told her that she was being irrational, that Lydia would never do something like that, while her other part only verbalized the thoughts in her head. "Did you tell her? About the whole... Did you tell her?!"

"No! I would never do that."

"'Cause you're that ashamed."

Lydia scoffed, not amused anymore. "You're the one who can't even look me in the eyes anymore. I'm not going to lecture you on everything you're going through, Shelby, because believe it or not I understand. I'm here for you and I want to help you as much as I can, but it's not me who needs to figure things out."

"I know exactly who I am," Shelby's voice wavered, and Lydia felt bad again. "And I cannot wait to get home and get back to her."

The British girl held her by the arm. "Please, don't run away again, Shelby. I'm not mad about what happened before. Remember what you said during the first days, when we went looking for God knows what? You said God does not do ugly. You're made to his image, just like you said for Jeanette's funeral. And just for that, he loves you the same, no matter who you love, but because you're a good person, Shelby. Please, bear that in mind."

Locked in that room, Lydia found herself missing the island. At least she was out in the open, at least she wasn't alone. Yes, she had food, water and a warm bed, but she would have given up all that just to get back to being with the girls. She had had good and not so good moments with them, one had only to realize what had happened on the island, but even so she would have preferred the company to the loneliness she felt at that time.

She dropped back onto the bed, because she was tired of pacing the room aimlessly. She supposed they were interviewing one of the other girls, because they hadn't come to see her in a long time —Lydia had lost track of time, but she could have sworn it had even been days.

She remembered all of them, even those with which he had had the least connection. She remembered Rachel's bright smile, which had gradually turned into a permanent grimace. Leah, that although she had ended up being dominated by her paranoia, Lydia knew it was not her fault. Fatin, from the moments when they had seemed like flesh and bone, but also from the desolate look she had given her, as well as Toni's, although she was more angry than disappointed. She remembered Nora, who although she had been very different from what she appeared to be, also thought that she had been carried away by the situation. When she came to think of Shelby, her heart ached physically.

The pain in her chest was still there when she imagined the girl lying next to her, a wide smile on her lips, her eyes closed and emitting a melodious laugh, a sound Lydia had got used to too quickly. The British girl felt that she went crazy just thinking about her, just thinking about how quickly she had been pushed away from her, just thinking about what could become of her, what she would be doing, where she would be.

She hit the wall hard at first, then more gently, her knuckles reddening, and finally she slid over the wall and cried a little.

From outside, through a peephole, Dr. Faber watched her carefully, almost sadly. He knew that what they were doing was brutal, inhuman for those teenagers, but still he was deep in it and couldn't let it all go now. He closed the peephole gently, so that the girl would not suspect anything, and was slightly startled when he found Gretchen behind him.

"I see we really do favorites," the woman smiled slightly, reading the sign on the door where it said Lydia's name.

"I just," he sighed, pinching his nose. "All of this is taking a toll on them. They're gonna be scarred forever after this. I just thought we could make things easier for them. If Lydia could only see her..."

"See who?" Gretchen interrupted. "Shelby? Young love is a great thing, Daniel, but we do not need distractions here—"

"I wasn't talking about Shelby," Faber interrupted. Gretchen then gave him a puzzled look. "You know who I'm talking about."

At first the woman seemed not to understand the reference, but she burst out laughing and threw her head back, still laughing. Faber watched her laugh, somewhat uncomfortable, knowing that he had made a mistake by bringing it up. Gretchen gradually stopped laughing when she realized Faber wasn't kidding.

"You know I can't let you do that. Do your job, okay? She knows what she's doing."

Night fell on the island, and Lydia, who had been estranged from the rest of the girls that afternoon, rejoined the group. Marcus the mannequin rested next to the girls again, and although it seemed encouraging to some —the alcohol still affecting them—, Lydia had found it strange that it had been found again in the woods when it was washed away by the tide days ago. Lydia's frown at the sight of it didn't go unnoticed by Leah, but the euphoria at going home and the fear of scare her again by her paranoid thoughts were too strong to voice her doubt aloud.

Lydia took the place next to Toni, since it was the only space where there was no one lying. She sat down very carefully, as if Toni's presence were a cutting glass —unfortunately, Lydia had already been hurt with Toni. The girl from Minnesota seemed to want to say something to her, as she opened her mouth for a moment, but when it seemed she was going to speak, she shook her head and stopped. Lydia cleared her throat and looked around, trying to reduce the tension she had felt, and luckily none of the others had noticed, but were still absorbed by the effects of the gummy bears.

"You know what? Now that we're leaving, I say we play one last game. It's fucking childish but it's been a long time since I felt like a kid," Dot contributed, a sad smile on her lips.

"What do you suggest?" Rachel asked.

"How about truth or dare? We're fucking stoned, who cares about what happens tonight?" Fatin laughed out loud.

"What are we, twelve-year-olds?" Lydia protested, covering her face with her hands.

"Oh, is Lydia scared?" Dot sang, and Fatin and Leah joined their chorus to boo Lydia, who laughed shortly after, sitting up and accepting the game.

After about half an hour of stupid challenges, including a race between Rachel and Leah with her eyes closed, to see who made it to the camp first and Fatin and Dot doing a handstand in the sand, resulting in imminent falls but also laughter, Martha came up with a question.

"I dare Toni to kiss Lydia!" Martha said in an excited voice, as if she knew Toni would never choose 'truth', and the other girls stared at her, Lydia with a raised eyebrow. "What? They're fighting and they need to make up. Haven't you heard about 'kiss and make up'?"

All the girls laughed at the innocence of high and drunk Martha, except Toni, who was staring at the sand, distracted. "Here in front of everyone?" Lydia was met with hollers, so she rolled her eyes. "Horny bitches."

"Wait, you wanna do that?" Toni asked in disbelief.

"It's just a kiss. Besides, Martha's right; you have to make up for everything," Lydia joked, though a part of her was telling the truth. She didn't have the need to kiss Toni, but if that was going to get them back to their previous relationship, then go ahead. "What, is little Toni shy?"

"Oh, I can assure you she's not," Martha piped in. "She's done—"

"Marty!"

"Shush! Do it or I'll tell everyone—"

Just for Martha to shut up and distract her attention, Toni grabbed Lydia by the cheeks and kissed her. Toni's kiss was definitely much more experienced than Shelby's, and her heart skipped a beat when she knew she was kissing Toni but remembering someone else. Toni released Lydia from her grasp and they parted when they heard gasps of surprise and cheers of encouragement around them, and Toni cleared her throat.

"I'm so hot for you right now," Fatin dragged out 'hot' and laughed.

Toni pulled away from her a bit, as if afraid of making her feel uncomfortable, but nothing could be further from the truth. Lydia had liked the kiss, but it was just that, a kiss, and she could give it any meaning. Her euphoria was reduced when she saw Shelby leaning against the rocks, and the girl looked away very quickly when she realized that Lydia was looking at her. Lydia felt suddenly bad.

"Do you think she's okay?" Lydia asked Fatin.

Fatin gave her a brief glance, which worried Lydia even more. She hadn't spoken to Shelby since noon, after she left her alone on the beach again, the Texan leaving God knew where to. Lydia hadn't gone after her because she thought she wanted to be alone, but maybe it was time to intervene, because Shelby's pale face to the moon and her lost gaze on the horizon indicated that she needed more help than she was letting on.

The cellist approached Shelby with her hairbrush in hand, almost as if burying her hatchet. Lydia knew that Fatin was not particularly a fan of Shelby, not after the mussel incident, but the Brit was pleased to know that she approached Shelby partly because of her, because Fatin knew that Lydia, despite everything, cared for the Texan.

"Hey. Thought you might want this. There might be photos when rescue gets here," Fatin smiled amiably, feeling somewhat saddened by Shelby's appearance.

"Thanks," she replied softly, taking the brush.

Lydia smiled a little at the interaction of the two girls, and cautiously watched Shelby brush her hair. However, her blissful state did not last long, as Shelby's hair was tangled and the bristles of the brush were bothering her, causing her to move the brush even faster through her hair.

"Here, let me help."

"No, I got it."

"You sure? Because it's—"

"Yes, yeah," Shelby trailed off, her chest suddenly filled with anxiety. Her breathing quickened, feeling trapped by the brush, and she stood up quickly under the watchful eyes of the rest of the girls, who had been alarmed by Shelby's pouting. "It's stuck. It's stuck. Can you get it off? Can you get it off?" The girl sobbed.

"Just let me help you untangle it," Fatin tried again.

"It's ruined, it's ruined," Shelby repeated over and over.

Lydia quickly rose to the aid of the girl, who was struggling in Fatin's arms, who was trying to help her remove the brush from her hair, without success. Yet she stood still, one hand covering her mouth, as Shelby reached down for the scissors and cut several strands of her hair, the blonde locks tragically falling to the sand.

Shelby's hands shook once again, the scissors accompanying her locks of hair in the sand, and Lydia decided she had seen enough. "Shelby. Shelby, hey. Look at me. It's okay. It's okay, I promise," Lydia whispered close to her to calm down. Shelby burst into tears in her chest, and Lydia cradled her against her with a worried frown, looking at the other girls, as surprised as she was by the Texan's outburst.

"It's ruined. I'm sorry, I'm ruined," Shelby repeated over and over.