After that tense conversation, Lydia decided that it would be best for her to momentarily withdraw from the group. With a long look from Fatin and Leah, Lydia left, still visibly shaken by the events of that day, and neither of them dared tell her she had to stay or Dot would scold them.

Before losing sight of Lydia in the dark, Fatin decided to follow her, leaving Leah to her fate with a sigh. Luckily, none of the others caught their attention or asked where they were going: Toni was too busy taking care of Martha, who was now asleep next to the girl —it wasn't like Toni was one of those who would protest if one of them left the group—, and Dot, the only one who could claim anything about it, was taking inventory of the new objects that Lydia had brought from the forest.

The Brit didn't stop walking across the plain, the taller bushes bumping into her knees, even as she felt Fatin's presence behind her. On one hand she was glad that she cared enough to go after her, but another part of her screamed that she needed to be alone. Leah's accusations had affected her more than she would have liked, and it was no longer just because she hated to think ill of Shelby, someone with such an innocent appearance, but that she hated herself for thinking for more than five seconds that Leah's words might make sense.

"Don't be mad at her," Fatin began, her tone soft and conciliatory, something Lydia had never heard from the cellist. Lydia turned around. "She's just being paranoid, I told you."

"It's absurd to think that anyone —and I mean anyone— would've volunteered for this shit. We all have been devoted to getting out of here, putting effort in those fucking chores, "Lydia snapped. "But now, she loses pills that could've been useful before, saving us all of this crap, and blames it on being paranoid because of Shelby? Fatin, this is not right. She has to stop."

Fatin moved closer to her, her brows curling. "I know, I know it's not good for anyone, but she's like that. She thinks and thinks, until a toxic thought turns into a thousand of them. Don't hold this against her, okay? You know better than this, how we all can be when we're trapped inside our thoughts."

Lydia came to a halt. She realized that Fatin was right: demons attack our minds when we are weakest. Leah hadn't eaten for days, and when she did, she suffered from food poisoning. Add to that her normal paranoid nature, and Lydia fully understood why Leah was raving. However, it affected her in a special way that she accused Shelby; Lydia was convinced that this girl was just another victim.

Fatin raised an eyebrow when she saw that Lydia didn't answer. "Is there anything I should know about? Because I'm sensing something... here," the cellist gestured with her hands. "You're mad at Leah because she's trying to divide us, or because she's blaming Shelby?"

"Fatin, don't start."

"No, no, I'm serious. I know sexual tension when I see it. Look, Lydia, you're my buddy, but you have to tone it down, too. You're messing with a bigot, and you're too good for this world to fuck you up like that."

Lydia let out a humorless laugh, tossing her hair back. "So that's why you didn't tell me. Not because you thought Leah was being irrational, but because you believe her."

"I didn't tell you because you didn't need more pressure on your shoulders. You and Dot already carry this fucking camp on your backs and you didn't need to worry about what Leah might or might not think. I don't care if this is the signal you needed to realize your true feelings, but you can't deny there is some fucked up shit going on here."

Lydia laughed again, sitting down on the grass and snuggling against herself. "Leah got into your head, Fatin. Who cares if it's Shelby, or Toni, or Rachel? Do you really think anyone would fuck up our lives like this?" Lydia's voice broke suddenly, and she buried her head on her knees. Fatin's heart sank in her chest when she saw the blonde's shoulders tremble and sobs escaped her lips. "Please, leave. I just want to go home," she whispered in a small voice.

Fatin was torn between the angel and the demon on her shoulders; one implored her to stay with the girl, who obviously needed help, while the other told her that she also had her personal problems and didn't tell anyone. Finally, Fatin decided to leave, but not out of selfishness, but because she thought that Lydia really needed to be alone. After all, she was the only person who managed to bring the remaining eight girls together in one way or another, so she would also need time to herself after doing something that at first would have seemed so impossible.

Lydia sighed between sobs when she heard Fatin's feet move away. At that moment she wanted to be at home, with her grandmother, sunbathing that summer day with a soda in hand and the radio playing in the background. But she realized that what was happening to her was not the island, at least not totally. What tormented her was deeply rooted in her mind, and she knew that her demons hadn't appeared by crashing on that island, but that she would carry them with her no matter where she was.

What was good about her normal life? Her parents had disposed of her like a dog, her grandmother had taken her in out of kindness and pity, she had lost touch with her friends in England, and in California she had no one to call a friend. She thought with a snort that, if she compared the two scenarios, the only thing her house had was that she might not starve there.

Lydia didn't know how long she had been there, cut off from everything and everyone, but when she woke up the sky was still dark. She guessed that she had taken a short nap and was not going to be able to sleep now, but her senses were on alert when she heard alarmed and worried screams.

She got up quickly, her eyes widening when she saw that the tide had risen and the camp was ripping. She descended rapidly down the hill, not caring how the branches dug into her skin, and watched in despair as the shelter had been smashed to pieces, how the waves washed up to where they had slept last night, and how everyone's belongings they were washed away by the sea.

She stepped out into the tide to grab some of the items they would most need, including the black bag containing all the medications. Meters away, Toni was helping a disoriented Martha up, and Lydia was glad she was already in a better state. She collided with Shelby, who was pacing around, helping out where she could. "Take this to Dot. She'll be glad we have this back," with a grateful nod and no words, Shelby left, knowing Lydia was doing this for her, to earn the girls' trust back.

"Fucking ocean took all my shit!" Lydia heard Fatin scream not far away, and she swam towards her when she saw her pick up all her clothes.

"Let it go, come on!" Leah appeared suddenly, in a more lucid state than Lydia had left her. "Come on! It's not important, let it go!"

But Lydia knew it was important to Fatin. It was all she had of her home, the only thing that tied her to the world that awaited them outside, far from there. So she went a little deeper into the water, catching all the clothes she found floating, the sea water getting wilder and wilder and hitting her harder. She could still see the sand at the bottom, and when she stepped on something hard, she reached for and picked up one of Fatin's watches.

Lydia closed the suitcase with an effort to keep things from being swept away again, and swam with the suitcase hooked to her arm against the tide. She struggled through the water, knowing she had to swim faster if she wanted to get to shore safely. The tide seemed to calm for a few seconds, so Lydia took advantage of them and kicked faster, pushing the suitcase to the land.

The blonde dropped to her knees in the sand, catching the air she had lost, and carried the suitcase to the wrecked camp shortly after. Fatin got up when she saw her carry all her things towards the shore, and a feeling of sorority washed over her. Lydia had come back for her, even with the things she had said, even when she had left her crying alone.

Fatin walked over to her and hugged her tightly. She didn't know what had taken control of her feelings, but Lydia did the same without resisting. Lydia was touched, and reminded herself to doubt no more that everything Fatin did for her, despite knowing her for such a short time, she did because she cared for her, and Lydia did the same. The two of them had found a confidante on the island, someone to call a friend after spending so much time without company.

"I'm sorry, I'm so sorry," Fatin kept repeating. "I'm sorry I disregarded your feelings like that, I left you there all alone..."

"Everything's alright, Fatin. Don't worry about it, yeah? It's okay," Lydia whispered as she stared in disbelief at the poor state of their camp.

That night Lydia couldn't sleep very well. It was cold and they had neither a fire nor a shelter to warm themselves to, and if you add to that that the nightmares had returned, falling asleep seemed like a difficult task. She dreamed that the tide had ended up taking one of the girls in front of her, and it had been her fault for not reacting earlier. When she approached her, her face became Julia's and she was frightened, freezing, while the body of who had been her best friend was drifting away by the current.

Fatin hadn't been separated from her all night, and the next morning when she opened her eyes again, Fatin was still lying next to her, awake, wrapped in her leopard jacket to find some warmth. Despite their brief discussion, Lydia had developed an instinct for caring and protection for the cellist that seemed too strong. But of course, being on that island magnified everything, and Lydia no longer found it strange to feel things that in other circumstances she would never have felt.

Lydia stood up and looked desolate at how the tide had left their little place. The branches of the shelter were scattered on the sand, none were left standing. Some towels had disappeared, along with the blankets they used to cover themselves from the cold in the shelter. With a new thought in her head, she saw that Leah was alone, stirring the sand around her, and indicated to Fatin that she would go talk to her.

She dropped next to Leah, who gave her a brief look, perhaps too tired and dazed to understand that Lydia was trying to bury the hatchet. She followed the gaze of the brunette, who rested on Shelby and the clothes scattered on the rocks she was trying to pick up. "She looks tired," Leah began.

"She should be," Fatin interrupted from behind her, sitting a few inches behind Leah and Lydia. "She's been working her ass off the last three days trying to make up for her moment. As if that would get her uncancelled."

Lydia glanced at Fatin, but not because she was wrong —Shelby's comment had been very unfortunate, Lydia was the first to recognize it— but because of the ways in which she talked about her. "Your obsession with Shelby is out of control. I know you have your theories, that maybe she's behind this, maybe she knows something, or whatever, but you have to ease up," Lydia narrowed her eyes because the sun was too strong and bothered her. She tried to keep a soft tone so that things didn't go out of hand like the night before.

"No, yeah, I know. I've been so stupid. I was actually just thinking, like, if Shelby was behind this, that would mean she volunteered for this nightmare," Leah responded in kind, lowering her head as if acknowledging her guilt.

"Who the fuck would do that?" Fatin asked in a whisper.

"Exactly."

They were silent for a while, the three of them looking at each other and then surreptitiously glancing at Shelby, who was brushing the sand from the clothes she had found. Lydia felt a little guilty about how they were treating her, putting her aside and practically forcing her to do her chores because they knew Shelby thought it would be useful to win them back.

"That's it!" Dot yelled from what had been her camp. "Pull up stakes!"

The trio of girls turned at Dot's words, and although they were too tired to move again, they didn't want to argue with the Texan either. They brought back what little was left, Lydia helping Leah carry the slide and Fatin pushing her own suitcase.

"We're fucking moving."

"Again?" Martha inquired, now fully recovered.

"Take a real good look at this camp. It's not a refurb job, it is fucking totalled."

"I thought you said the cave was a bust," Rachel chimed in.

"I can't take this shit no more," Lydia muttered against Fatin's shoulder, who nodded in agreement.

"Which will come in handy, seeing we no longer have a fucking fire to keep us warm," Lydia heard Dot finish, a look of resignation on her face as she said the last words.

"Who was on fire duty last night?" Toni asked after realizing that she had just thought about it.

Fatin shifted uncomfortably in her place, and Lydia scowled at her. "Okay, technically it was my turn, but Shelby practically begged me to sub her in, so who was I to deprive her of that pleasure?"

Lydia and Dot scoffed. "Look, I know that Shelby has been trying so hard to get back on our good graces, but some of you have been a little bit too quick to take advantage of that."

"Yeah, sorry not sorry," Toni answered in a low voice, but everyone heard her.

"Who cares? She's a bigot," Fatin chimed in, and it seemed to Lydia that she had learned nothing from their talk last night.

"Can I ask a question? And it might not be helpful—"

"Okay, good, yeah. Definitely do that," Dot replied sarcastically, and Lydia thought she liked Dot more at that point.

"Why did this catch us so off guard? I mean, haven't you been keeping track of the tide?" Leah finally asked.

"You're saying Nora should've seen this coming?" Rachel responded, a little more aggressive than she intended.

"No, Rachel, that's not what I'm saying. If you listened to me at all..."

"That's exactly what you're saying."

"Why are we pointing fingers? It wasn't anybody's fault," Martha chimed in, standing up, and Lydia nodded to herself.

"It's true," Nora said. "It was bigger than a normal tide, maybe from a storm or an off shore earthquake. It happened so fast, we all acted irrationally. Like Fatin, who jumped in to save her toothbrush; or Rachel, who left me for fucking dead."

"I went to get the black box because it's our lifeline out of here!"

"And I'm your sister!" Nora retorted.

Lydia laughed against Fatin's shoulder again, feeling the madness creep into her mind. There was no way to have a calm day, something always happened that thwarted their plans of peace and calm.

"Guys, please!" Martha screamed again, exasperated.

"Okay, well, blame game aside, I think it's safe to say that we could blame the dead fire on our problematic Jesus fr—"

Fatin cut herself off before Shelby, coming up behind her, could hear her. Lydia gave her another withering look, but Fatin didn't notice.

"Look what washed up," Shelby said slowly, a smile on her face. She carried a purple suitcase in her hand, a red backpack on top of the suitcase, and another blue backpack slung over her shoulder.

Martha smiled widely when she saw that that was her suitcase, and Lydia picked up the blue backpack from Shelby's back, it was hers. She opened it hopefully, and saw that some of the things were wet, but others were still intact, like her glasses. She smiled broadly, but her joy was quelled in haste by the presence of Leah behind her.

"Okay, she finds three new bags? How weird is that?"

"Weren't you going to keep down the crazy?" Lydia scowled, not wanting her discovery to be clouded by Leah's mood.

"I am, it's just it's hard with her," Leah justified herself, throwing her another look.

Lydia huffed, zipping up her bag. Yes, it was suspicious that three bags had suddenly appeared, and more so if she added that it had been Shelby who had brought them back, just the person Leah distrusted.

"Alright, that's two down," Shelby smiled sheepishly. "Who's this belong to?" She raised the red bag into the air, but no one seemed to claim it.

"If it's no one's..." Lydia trailed off, saying aloud what everyone was thinking. She took the bag from Shelby, who nodded imperceptibly, and opened it. "Damn, didn't expect this from Jeanette," she said as she pulled a huge bottle of vodka out of her backpack, her eyebrows wiggling. "Oh my. Dot, there's a lighter."

"Jeanette's a fucking miracle!" Dot exclaimed as she emptied the rest of the contents of the bag. "Good find, Shelby," Dot encouraged her from a distance, her voice trumping the others.

It seemed to Lydia that Dot was pushing the issue too far. She also wanted things to be fixed as soon as possible, but she knew that the other girls, especially Fatin and Toni, would not forget that so easily. So when Leah took a few steps forward, Lydia knew all hell would break loose.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Doesn't anyone else find this, like, utterly and completely unbelievable that Shelby's, like, found this bag?"

"Leah," both Lydia and Fatin urged, trying to keep the girl calm.

"It's like a deus ex machina."

"It's like a what?"

"It is like this perfect little thing that somehow has everything that we need. I find it really fucking creepy that you found this, just like you did before," Leah turned even redder when snapping. Lydia and Fatin breathed by her side, ready to stop this nonsense —because even Fatin thought this was madness.

"So what are you saying exactly?"

"I don't know. I think something pretty fucked up is going on here, and I think somebody knows all about it," Leah reached down and opened Jeanette's backpack. "Seriously? Water purification tablets? There's enough protein bars to last us forever. There's warm clothes, there's more meds! Why the fuck would Jeanette bring this shit to a casual retreat in Hawaii? Who gave you this bag and what the fuck do you know?"

"Leah, settle down!" Lydia yelled through her teeth, knowing this would end up badly.

"I just want everybody to think about it for, like, two seconds. Think about what Shelby has done. She has found not one, but three magical lifesaving bags, she is persistently optimistic, almost as if she knows that we're not in actual danger. She uses icebreaker after icebreaker, pump us for information like some sort of slumber party. And not to mention she didn't eat any of the fucking mussels!"

"I said I was allergic!"

"Leah, this is fucking enough!" Lydia screamed beside her, positioning herself next to Shelby, because a pissed-off Leah was capable of anything. She was distracted for a moment, and Leah snatched the lighter that she had shown Dot. "Leah, what the fuck?! Give me the lighter back!"

But Leah wouldn't stop. She was in a completely paranoid state, her eyes wet and the vein in her neck protuberant, her gaze accusing Shelby. "Tell us who you're working for, just tell us what you know."

"Jesus Christ, Leah! She's not Jason Bourne!"

"Leah? What are you doing? " Nora asked, watching Leah walk away from them.

"Oh, Nora, it's fine. If I throw this one out, another one is just gonna pop up, right, Shelby?"

"Don't you fucking dare, Leah!" Lydia warned her. She watched as she drew her arm back to launch it, and without thinking twice, Lydia threw herself on top of her, cornering her with her legs and trying not to move her arms. "Get a fucking grip, please."

But Leah was unleashed. With an unearthly effort, she brushed off Lydia, who stared at the scene ruefully. "Where are you going, Shelby? Where do you sneak out to every morning and every night? What the fuck is happening on this island? You're hiding something, I fucking know it!"

Shelby squirmed in Leah's arms, deeply frightened by the girl's manic behavior, and slipped out of her grasp. "Okay, yes, maybe I am!" Then she removed something from her mouth, and they all observed how she had a denture in her hands, two of her non-existent teeth. "Happy? This is it! The big secret. I'm a freak who wears my teeth on a piece of plastic. I'm not sneaking off because I'm part of some dirty scheme! I've been cleaning this thing as privately as possible like I've done since I was eleven years old!" Shelby screamed in Leah's face, and all the others felt the color leave their faces. The Texan sobbed but tried to avoid it. "Does that answer your question? Or if not, I can give you a better look," getting no response from Leah other than an embarrassed look, she put her teeth back on. "Alright, then. Guess you know everything now. I'm a fake bitch with dentures, just one more reason to hate me. Not that you needed any more."

She left after that, her cheeks glistening with the silent tears that slid down them, and Lydia's heart broke in that very instant. She hated realizing at that very moment how mean she had been for believing in Leah for at least one second, she hated realizing how bad a person she had been to push her away with the others when they didn't know what she was going through. She had been pretending for days not to notice the looks of resentment and hatred, and yet she still had a smile for them. Shelby could be many things, but she hadn't deserved that.

Lydia followed Shelby's footsteps, her shoulder bumping into Leah's to snap her out of her paranoia. "Nice fucking show you did there," she said, just to chase the girl.