"and it feels like yesterday was a year ago
but i don't wanna let anybody know"

DECEMBER 17TH, 1992

"Come on, Maia. It'll be fun." Draco said through the door.

From within, Maia heard the muffled voice. Her two roommates had already left, claiming the same thing her brother was saying at that very moment. She was sitting against the door, preventing Draco from opening it.

"To you." The girl said, raising her voice a little so her brother could hear her.

She didn't want to go to the dueling club. She hated the idea of ​​dueling with anyone. She knew what she was capable of and did not want to harm anyone. Also, if she had to fight and taught what she was capable of, they would look at her strangely. No twelve-year-old girl did what she had done.

"I promise it will be. We can sneak into the kitchen later and grab some chocolate if you didn't like it, alright? "

Maia thought about it for a bit, but she opened the door knowing for sure that she wasn't going to like it and that, in that way, she would eat some chocolate.

"Really?"

"Yes, really. Now hurry up. Snape is going to be there and we have to impress him."

Draco grabbed his sister's hand and dragged her across the Common Room. Everyone in the castle was very excited about the opening of the dueling club, chaired by Severus Snape and Gilderoy Lockhart, a prominence from the wizarding world. Everyone thought it was a good opportunity to learn; there were a few who were afraid of being hurt, but none of them thought - like Maia - that they could harm someone.

They came to the club and it was full of second years. She recognized some faces, like Longbottom, a Hufflepuff who was always in her Herbology class but whose name she didn't know, or Potter. Maia looked at him seriously: that boy was omnipresent, he was everywhere, and she sensed that his presence that morning was not going to be peaceful, as it always used to be.

"Welcome, students!" Lockhart exclaimed, clasping his palms, and with a wide smile on his face. "The duelling club has been reopened, and you will have the opportunity to learn some spells from me. Oh, and from professor Snape, of course. Is there any volunteer to show us their skills?"

Although it sounded really tempting, none of those present raised their hands. They were too nervous to be the first. Neither wanted to make a fool of themselves in front of Snape. So it was the latter who called two students.

"Potter, up. And Malfoy." Maia felt her heart leap out of her chest. She looked up at Snape, but let out a sigh when she saw the professor look at her brother. "Mr. Malfoy."

Beside her, Draco smirked. Maia pressed her lips together in a fine line; she didn't want her brother to get hurt, and with Potter everything was possible. She knew perfectly well that Snape had done it on purpose, but no one had dared say anything to him. Everyone was aware of the rivalry between Draco and Potter, but Maia hoped they wouldn't be hurt, or things would get ugly.

Maia hadn't even paid attention when they had started, but had looked at the faces of the students around her to realize that none were surprised by the pair chosen by Snape. She came back to reality when she heard a spell come out of a wand, and she turned to see her brother being thrown into the air and hitting himself as he fell. He stifled a scream. She knew what her brother would do next.

"Draco, no." she whispered.

But he didn't listen to her, and she doubted that even if he had listened he would have obeyed.

"Serpensortia!"

A snake came out of the tip of her brother's wand, and they all gasped in fear. They took a few steps back when the snake started looking at their faces. Even Snape seemed surprised, but it was Lockhart who tried, unsuccessfully, to get rid of it. The reptile stared into the Hufflepuff's eyes that Maia had recognized, and at that moment Potter hissed.

They all gasped again. The snake turned to him as if it understood him. "It understood him!" The Hufflepuff said. Snape made the snake disappear, but there was great anguish on everyone's faces.

Maia looked at Potter seriously, but said nothing because she had understood him too.

TODAY

If there was one thing Maia hated deeply — other than Voldemort and all his minions — it was clumsiness. She grimaced when, from the first year, Crabbe and Goyle incorrectly removed the mandrakes from the pot; or when Seamus Finnigan, that peculiar Gryffindor, always ended up with a burnt face when exploding objects. Or, as at that very moment, Longbottom was slowly stirring his cauldron, the foul green liquid that was nothing like the warm pink that must have come from that mixture.

She had been late to Potions class that morning, so when she had entered the class — in addition to apologizing as kindly as she could to Slughorn — there were no more seats left in the Slytherin area. They shared Potions with the remaining seventh-year Gryffindors, who were Neville Longbottom, Seamus Finnigan, and two or three others whose faces she didn't even know by sight. So, in front of Draco and Eden's sly looks, who shared a desk, Slughorn had suggested with a smile that she took a seat next to Longbottom.

Maia had no problem brewing potions. She had no doubts about her abilities, she had even done some for her own use before and there had never been any dire consequences. She was glancing sideways at Neville, who was sweating and his bangs stuck to his forehead. He stared in amazement at his cauldron and the Potions book continuously, trying to find out what was wrong with his potion.

The Slytherin was beginning to exasperate, because hers was already resposing, but she tried not to show it to the boy, who would probably feel even more humiliated if Maia reprimanded him for his clumsiness. "That's completely useless now. But if you want to improve the color and the taste a little, you have to add more valerian roots."

Neville looked at her with wide eyes, as if that advice had caught him by surprise. Still, he obeyed the girl, who looked away, feigning disinterest, but rolled her eyes when she saw a little smoke appear in the cauldron and, indeed, change the color a little. Neville gasped, more relaxed, and looked at her as he nodded. Maia returned the gesture, and walked away from the cauldron when Horace Slughorn said so.

"Very well. Time's up. I will collect a bit of each potion and I'll judge them. You will get the feedback on the next class. Have a good day." Slughorn said with a small smile.

Maia felt sorry for him. He was a good man, she could see, but he was a Slytherin. Many students judged him from a distance, thinking that he also agreed with the Carrow's teaching methods. However, Maia knew that Slughorn was not like that. He might not have been extremely brilliant at anything other than Potions, but she knew that he was no ill-intentioned and was certainly not a Death Eater nor did he plan to be one.

It was the last period of the day, since Maia didn't take the subjects that Draco and Eden did. She went to the Great Hall, not sad for not sharing that meal with the usual company. That day she preferred to be alone, she didn't understand why, but she preferred silence and tranquility rather than the constant quarrels - albeit a joke - of her brother and her best friend.

This didn't mean that she loved them less, but that she often wished she had time for herself. It was ironic because she had all the time in the world in this place, but there were times when she just wanted to dedicate it to herself, not to think about the worries about Draco or about the life that awaited her outside. She just wanted to leave her mind blank or worry about banal things like a normal person.

However, that peace she so longed for never came.

Pansy Parkinson took a seat right in front of her, a shy smile on her face. Maia didn't trust that expression, and she certainly had reason to. "How you doin', Pansy?" Maia said in a disinterested tone.

"I tried to get your attention back in Potions, but Longbottom was so far up your ass it was impossible." Pansy laughed a bit. Maia looked at her, skeptical. "Come on, it's true. He was totally drooling over you. Can't blame him, you look good!"

"No need to be a bootlicker. What do you want? "

"Ah, always this smart. Speaking about drooling, love and those things... Okay, I'm going to say it. Do you think I stand a chance with Draco?"

Maia choked on her soda. Pansy frowned at her, but Maia ignored it and wiped the liquid off her lips with a napkin. "You like my brother?"

"It's complicated. I've always seen him as a friend, but since last year ... I don't know, something inside of me changed. I started to look at him in another way, and the feelings have increased over the months. I know it's stupid to ask, because your parents have probably already arranged your marriages," Maia's heart began to pound, but Pansy didn't notice and kept talking, "but I think I could make him happy. He looks so sad all the time. I would take care of him and make him smile."

"Have you thought about telling him instead of me?"

"Are you crazy? I can't ridicule myself like that."

"And what's the point of telling me you love him if you're never going to tell him?" Maia closed her eyes when she realized it. "Okay, I get it now. You want me to help you."

Pansy smiled widely. "That's what I was talking about. Will you?"

It didn't take long for the blonde to formulate an answer. If Draco spent much more time with Pansy, he would stop demanding so much of her attention, and that could benefit her hunt for horcruxes and her plans with Eden. Also, as much as she knew Pansy's sarcastic, hurtful, and malicious personality, her words seemed sincere, and she had never mistreated her brother.

"Alright, I will." Pansy gave a little cry of excitement. "I'll get back to you, okay? I have to go now."

Pansy gave her a military salute and approached a group of girls to her left as Maia left the Great Hall and headed for the library. Pansy's words about her marriages of convenience had taken effect on her, to such an extent that a nervous sweat ran down her body. Her parents had married very young despite their age difference, and had started a family. Did her parents really love each other? Did she want a life as cold and sad as the one they had right now? She knew her father could betray her in the worst ways, but what about her mother? Maia thought that, after all, she would also be able to sell her to any pureblood family in order to maintain her lineage and reputation.

Maia didn't want that. She had always known, but now she was of legal age, and this was probably inevitable. She didn't want to throw her life away, stay home without work, and take care of her children like her mother had. Merlin, she didn't even know if she wanted children. Freaking Pansy, she thought. As if she had no other concerns.

She entered the library without making much noise. She dedicated a polite nod to Madam Pince, who returned the gesture. Maia liked to see familiar faces in all the chaos. It reminded her that they weren't alone in this. She looked at the tables from a distance, and a feeling of satisfaction ran through her body when she saw Ginny sitting at one of the tables located at the back, as if she didn't want to be discovered. She stealthily made her way there, pulling a crumpled yellow paper from her pocket. When she reached the girl's desk, she placed the paper next to her and went to one of the shelves, pretending to be looking for a book.

She stayed like that for a few moments, until she saw that the redhead had read the letter, and then she moved to the inside of the shelves so that no one could hear them.

"What is this?" Ginny shouted between whispers.

"Your mother." Maia answered, shrugging. I think. I didn't read it."

"I know that, but ... how?"

Maia frowned. "I was hoping you'd be happy."

"I am. I just wasn't expecting this. Did you write to her?" Ginny smiled.

"I did, yes. I might've sounded a bit posh, but I really don't know how to speak with adults in a way that isn't... pompous"

Ginny smiled again and hugged the letter to her chest. "You didn't have to do that. You could get in so much trouble."

"No mother deserves to go through her birthday alone, no matter how stubborn she is." Maia said, clearly thinking about her own mother as she let those words out. "I explained the situation around Hogwarts. Here." Maia handed her another letter, this one being less wrinkled and written in neat paper. "I remember you said something about Hogsmeade, but the only thing I have is a few of chocolate frogs, and I doubt she'd have like that as a present."

Ginny laughed, but quickly covered her mouth when she realized she was still in the library. She read the letter Maia had sent her mother.

Dear Mrs. Weasley.

It may result odd to you to receive this letter. My name is Maia, Maia Malfoy. I'm sure you have heard all about me and my family, but that is not what I wrote for. Your daughter told me it was your birthday —so happy birthday! - but the circumstances here are not the appropiate for Ginny to send a letter. Some students are not allowed to share mail, others are.

She seemed unhappy, this year not being able to wish you a happy birthday, so I granted her a wish. She wishes you a very happy birthday, and hopes you and your loved ones are alright. She is alright too, though getting into trouble here and there, but she's safe.

I deeply hope you are not disturbed by this letter, as it's sent as a gesture of goodwill. You can write back to me, and I will make sure Ginny reads your answer. I promise I will not invade your privacy.

Best wishes,

M.M

Ginny smiled as she read it. Although there were some things she wouldn't have said — like getting into trouble — she found it amusing that Maia tried to impersonate a normal teenager, but failed. But what had touched her heart the most was that she had listened to her as she spoke, and that she had taken the trouble to do that for her, when the Carrows could have chosen mail at random and opened it, discovering her identity immediately.

"This is really nice from you, mom said it herself. I'm not going to lie, though, she was surprised. She wasn't expecting a Malfoy writing to her, she thought it was kind of a trap." Ginny giggled. "It was nice. I appreciate it."

Maia smirked, barely showing her teeth. She didn't know what else to say to Ginny, but she didn't want to leave. She didn't know why, but she liked talking to her, however forbidden it was. Her eyes were shining now, and her cheeks were flushed — she is cold, Maia thought — as well as a grin from ear to ear.

"How do you know I was here?" The redhead finally asked, turning to see that her belongings were still there.

"I asked Luna. She told me you'd be here, probably keeping yourself busy practicing. I didn't quite get that, but it's alright."

Ginny looked surprised. "You talk to Luna?"

"I first talked to her three years ago. I thought she was weird. " Maia confessed. "And I still think that to the day, but she doesn't freak me out, which is good. That's a good thing about her: she doesn't ask questions, she just knows." Maia looked over Ginny's shoulder to see if anyone was looking, but they were alone there. "How are you holding up?"

"Well," Ginny cleared her throat. "It's not easy. Classes with the Carrows are insufferable, the rest are okay, although you can sense the tension. After lunch I go to the Hospital Wing to help Madam Pomfrey; she's saturated with all the children the Carrows send there. And then during most nights I can't sleep. I'm alone in the bedroom, my roommates have stayed home due to all of this. It's really scary all the time, not knowing if you'll be next."

Maia nodded and whispered. "I'm sorry. It's not what I would like, either."

"What would you like?" Ginny asked, but she wasn't hostile this time.

"I liked normal. I liked when we all were free to go to Hogsmeade, I liked the Quidditch matches, the rivalry between Slytherin and Gryffindor, not having other worries than exams and the inches of parchment Snape would send. I like being untouchable, but not like this."

The redhead approached her so lightly that Maia didn't even notice it.

"I still don't get why you talk to me. I'm everything you're supposed to hate."

"I guess I like lost causes above all. I've grown up thinking muggleborns and traitors to the blood are filth, that I could use my wealth to buy my way into anything, that I could treat people like scum. But my views changed. I saw Granger every morning, not even fighting to be top of the class and being it. I've seen the way Draco and I have treated people, and it disgusted me. I guess I just didn't like my past me, so I made a new one."

Ginny still didn't understand what was tugging at her heart every time she heard Maia's deep voice. She went into her ears and completely hypnotized her.

"It's called metanoia." Ginny muttered, not looking at Maia in the eyes.

"I'm not familiar with muggle concepts."

"Metanoia. The journey of changing one's mind, heart, self or way of life." While Maia was still grasping the concept, she added: "Hermione knows a lot about strange words that have heavy meanings."

Maia laughed. "I like it." She looked at her wrist. "I have to go, some errands to run. Feel free to use my owl, yeah? Wouldn't like Mrs. Weasley to think I haven't kept you safe." She winked at her and left.

Once again, Ginny stayed behind, watching as she disappeared through the library door, but not before showing the book she had picked up to Madam Pince, who nodded.

She started to like this new Maia Malfoy, maybe too much.