"i would die for your heaven
i could lie here forever"

"Does anyone know the answer?" McGonagall asked no one in particular, knowing that her students were too distracted to pay full attention to her classes. With a touch of her wand she claimed Maia's attention. "Perhaps you, Miss Malfoy?"

It was more than evident that Maia hadn't even been listening to the question from the Gryffindor professor. With poorly concealed dark circles under her eyes and her face resting on her hand, the Malfoy looked up, somewhat annoyed that she had been disturbed on her rest.

The truth was, she hadn't been sleeping much those nights. While it was true that she hadn't done it properly at the Mansion either, it was a little more comforting to be surrounded by people —even if they weren't too helpful. The same was true in the room she shared with Daphne and Pansy, but now they weren't speaking to each other, so it had been a better decision to move from room to room, at least temporarily.

It had been Millicent Bulstrode and Tracey Davis who had welcomed her company. Of course, the shy questions from both of them about why she had decided to sleep with them had only been answered with the hard and cold gaze of Maia, who hadn't spoken, though it hadn't been necessary, both Slytherins had learned the lesson.

"I don't, professor." Maia mused in a tone which said she was half bored, half tired.

McGonagall tried to hide her surprise, but Maia saw the fleeting lightning bolt in the teacher's gaze. Around her, the others began to whisper in an inconspicuous manner. Maia Malfoy could be said to be a Hermione Granger —but in Slytherin, less know-it-all and more vain— so the girl with no answer to McGonagall's question stunned everyone.

However, the bell indicated that class was over. Maia hurried, not wanting to meet all the curious eyes. She wasn't very lucky, as it wasn't the first time that someone caught her off guard and the rumor had already spread through the hallways. The group of Slytherin friends had split up, leaving Maia alone in front of the others. Of course, Eden had tried to get closer to her than anyone else, but he only stumbled upon Maia's stubborn gesture and failed to get a profitable conversation.

She hated the three hours of meals she had a day, the classes she shared with her brother and the others, the nights she spent alone awake, looking at the ceiling of her new room, thinking about what the future would hold for her now that she was completely alone.

Maia was used to feeling lonely, but not being alone. She was always surrounded by people, and while many couldn't really figure out what was going on in her head, she felt like she could turn to any one of them in an everyday situation. However, now, in a life or death situation, she faced danger alone.

She hadn't talked to Eden about the horcruxes anymore —it hadn't even occurred to her to put her troubles aside to put that fight first, that's how proud she could be. They had exchanged a few words, but Maia hadn't felt as comfortable talking to the boy as before.  Every time the opportunity presented itself, the Slytherin apologized to her over and over again, and although Maia's heart began to soften every time she saw his lamb's eyes and the sincere tone in his voice, her mind told her that a friend would have told her anything, so normally it was at that moment when the conversation ended.

Although it probably would have been more accurate to say that she had not discussed horcruxes with anyone else. It had been days since she had spoken to Ginny —even Luna, the only person other than the redhead who could tolerate her— and although she missed her company terribly, she couldn't help but feel guilty for what she had done. Scared as a child —as she had never been— she reminded herself that she had killed someone, and that if Ginny found out, that could end the strange relationship they had.

She sat with her back against the wall, her head hidden between her knees. She had avoided the Weasley as much as she could. However, when glancing furtively at each other in the library or in the hallways, Maia's heart couldn't help but skip a beat and internally yell at her to go to her, who was among the things that gave her life meaning at the moment. But her brain, as it used to be, was more powerful, telling her to stay away or Ginny would be in danger.

Because, having killed once, what could assure her that she wouldn't do it again? Maia knew she wasn't a murderer. But she had also thought about it before coldly ending the Death Eater's life. She didn't understand what had activated inside her to whisper those words, but it frightened her to think that at any other time that strange force would reemerge and she couldn't control it.

She didn't react when someone sat next to her, nor when she heard a couple of books hit the floor. "Go away, I don't want to talk." She just said, her voice muffled.

"Good, because I don't want to talk either." Maia looked up when she recognized Neville Longbottom's voice. "Just eat. You want some?" The boy said as he offered her a sandwich. "Well, I really have brought it for you, I don't want it. It's vegetable, Ginny says it's your favorite."

Maia's stomach rumbled in response to the smell of the sandwich. She almost felt guilty when she took it from Neville's hand, who nodded at her. "What are you doing here?"

Neville spoke while chewing. "I've seen that you never eat in the Great Hall, and the other day I saw you sitting here when I came out. I thought maybe you would be hungry."

"That's not what I mean."

Neville looked at her and sighed. "I hate to admit it, but you're not like them. I don't know why you have left your group, but lately you don't seem like you. I'm not saying I'm worried, but I'm surprised."

"You don't have to do this." Finally Maia said.

The Gryffindor didn't reply until a few moments later, when he made sure the Malfoy had finished her meal. "For some unknown reason, Ginny cares about you. She's thinking all day that she has done something wrong with you, that there is a reason so you don't speak to her or avoid her. I don't know what you're up to, Malfoy, but if you've ever cared about Ginny —it's obvious from your face right now— you should give her an explanation."

"I can't." Maia said in a thin voice and closed her eyes. "There are things about me that nobody, especially Ginny, can discover. It's horrible to be me, I don't want to bring more problems to her life."

"Do you think she doesn't know what's going on? We are in the midst of a magical war. There will be problems, there will be obstacles, people will suffer. It is up to us to choose who hurts us in a certain way, and she... well, she has chosen you."

"I'm just a hotbed of trouble, Longbottom. I ruin everyone I get close to. If I stay away from her, it's because of doing her a favor."

"Damn it, Malfoy. For someone so smart you don't understand many things. Ginny likes you a lot, okay? She hasn't even mentioned Harry in all the time you've been in her life, and that's very difficult. I never thought I would say this, but the sparkle in her eyes every time she talks about you has never existed. If you hurt her, I swear I'll kill you, you bloody Malfoy. " Neville pointed at her with his wand. Usually Maia would've smirked, but this time was different.

The Gryffindor gathered his things and left. Maia stared at him with her mouth ajar, speechless. Again, that dilemma: face everything she'd known for Ginny, or get away from her for everything that Maia was.

"Wait!" She said quickly as he sat up. Neville turned to look at her. "I'm sorry about your parents. I know it's not a consolation, but... I'm sorry."

"It's okay. You are not Bellatrix."

Neville was right, and not just about that. She had to get Ginny back no matter what it took. She couldn't afford to lose the little good in her life, even if it meant being selfish.

As if by magic, she turned the corner and collided with someone. Instinctively she closed her eyes, but made out red hair before doing so. However, a liquid substance splashed on her face and robe, and the person gasped.

"Sorry! I didn't mean —Maia." Ginny whispered the last part. "I didn't see where I was going — Merlin, your whole jersey is covered in ink."

"It's no problem, Ginny. I'll clean it up. Listen—"

"Well, well. Weasley has spent what little ink she could buy to stain Maia's uniform. How clumsy." Pansy scoffed from behind them. Maia turned around, and found she was with Draco. "Don't you have better things to do than ruin other people's expensive things you will never have, Weasley?"

Beside her, Draco clenched his jaw. He knew that his sister wouldn't tolerate that kind of comment —not anymore— so he didn't add more fuel to the fire.

Ginny looked intently at Pansy. "I have already apologized to her, it was an accident."

"Just like you and your family in this world."

Even Draco could admit that Pansy had gone too far. He closed his eyes when he saw Maia approach Pansy with tight lips.

"I'll ruin your pathetic life if you ever dare to repeat that, Pansy." Maia spat with venom in her voice. The brunette looked up at her haughtily, lifting her chin, but knowing she couldn't bear the Malfoy's gaze. "Leave before I decide to do it right now."

"Let's go, Pansy." Draco mused for the first time, taking his companion by the arm and dragging her to the opposite side, but not before taking a look at his sister.

Maia turned to Ginny. "I'm so sorry about that. She's an idiot, don't think about it."

"You didn't have to do that. Now everyone is going to think that you get together with a blood traitor."

"So what? Let them think what they want. They are going to do it, anyway." Maia took a step forward toward Ginny, the habit of checking if someone already saw them forgotten. "I am being terrible to you. One day I tell you that I want to be with you, and when a few weeks pass I stop talking to you without giving you an explanation. I am aware that you don't deserve this, but neither do you deserve all the disaster that could happen to you. So I want to be honest with you, tell you everything about me, and I want you to really decide if this is what you want."

Ginny looked at her deeply, her cheeks flushed, and finally nodded. "It's dinner time, so there won't be many people in the Common Room. I think you'll be more welcome in Gryffindor than I am in Slytherin."

Maia smiled a little. The mere thought of being alone with Ginny made her heart swell with happiness.

"I couldn't tell you the other day, but I'm sorry about your house. We should have tried to avoid it, but—"

"—You would have been discovered." The redhead finished the sentence for her, nodding. "I know, and don't worry. It was not your fault. We will stay at Grimmauld Place until my parents get the house renovated. It won't have the shape as before, but it's more than we would have imagined on another occasion. We could have died, so I suppose we owe it to you."

"I couldn't let anything happen to you if I could help it."

Ginny stopped in front of her and crossed her arms. "You see? That's what I don't understand. One day you risk everything for me, but the other day you say you're too dangerous and don't want to get close to me. What are you so afraid of, Maia?"

The Slytherin looked up at last. She sighed deeply and looked at her sweater, still stained. She watched as Ginny's cheeks flared, and she remembered that there would be black ink on her face as well. "Hurting you. Lately everything I touch has been ruined, and I don't want you to end up the same. It is easier for me to risk it for you and to be discovered, than to think that I may end up hurting you."

Their conversation was interrupted by a scandalized Fat Lady, who screamed when she saw the Slytherin at the door of her Common Room. "A Slytherin around here! Go back to your bedroom, young lady."

"Strawberry candy." Ginny said out loud. "She's coming with me, and she's heard the password, so she's going to come in whether you want to or not."

The Fat Lady raised her hand to her chest, almost as if offended, and Maia raised an eyebrow. It was a fun scene, something that never happened in the dungeons because no one watched the entrance to their Common Room. Everyone separated the Slytherins, so at Hogwarts they were so internalized that no one would want to go to their Common Room that wasn't even guarded by nobody.

Maia was pleasantly surprised by the interior of the Gryffindor Room. It was very warm —very different from the Slytherin one— with red and gold colors throughout, the furniture, the books, the rugs, and many Gryffindor badges around the room. There was a large fireplace in the center of the room, with armchairs and sofas around it, and, as Ginny had predicted, they were now unoccupied. There were still remnants of Gryffindor Quidditch team pennants and Weasley is our king banners. Maia laughed at this.

Ginny led her to her room, decorated in the same colors as the Common Room. Ginny slept in the one on the right, right next to the window, judging by the other two unoccupied beds. On the nearest wall was a giant poster of the Holyhead Harpies, the best women's Quidditch team in Britain, and Maia let out a whistle of admiration. "I didn't know you were a fan of the Holyhead Harpies."

"You're kidding? It is the only team made up of women, and they are badass."

"You're a feminist, I see? I am more a Chudley Cannons fan." Maia giggled. She squatted in front of the Weasley's nightstand, where there was a photo of her family, all smiling in front of what looked like pyramids. "This is nice."

"Really? That is my brother Ron's team." Ginny leaned over to see what Maia was referring to. "Oh, it's from when we went to Egypt a few years ago. My brother Bill worked there, so we went to visit him. Have you ever been?"

Maia shook her head. "It seems fun."

"Well, what did you want to talk about?" Ginny finally said.

The Gryffindor sat cross-legged on her bed, her back against the head of the bed. Maia settled in front of her, her nerves on the surface. "There's no going back now, Ginny. When I tell you all this you will realize who I really am. It all started when I was just one year old. Back then, the Dark Lord wasn't as powerful as he is now, but had an incomplete body shape, he needed to gain power to finally kill Harry Potter and become the most powerful wizard of all time. My family has always been a huge fan of the dark side, and as a consequence of that sick fanaticism they did everything possible so that the Dark Lord could really be formed once and for all. So they offered their children, made them available to whoever you know to do what it takes to gain power. I must say that my mother was repulsed by the idea —we were her children, after all— but she had to give in, or Lucius would fail to demonstrate loyalty to the Dark Lord.

>> However, Voldemort rejected my brother, claiming that when he grew up a man would be useful to him among his ranks, but he did accept me. He started a ritual, I don't remember exactly how he was in front of me, but he started to cast a spell on me. Obviously I don't remember anything that happened, I saw it through a memory, but everyone expected me not to survive. However, when Voldemort finished dumping all those spells on me, I stopped crying. My eyes turned red for a moment, and that was when he started to smile: he knew it had worked.

One of his Death Eaters stepped forward, asking what had just happened, and that was his biggest mistake: without hardly looking at him, he addressed him with an avada kedavra and killed him. He had interrupted the ritual, and now I was in danger that all the powers I had in my body could dissipate. So he attacked me with spells again, and something happened. From that moment everyone knows about my powers. All the Death Eaters who were present know what was the reason for that: Voldemort wanted to experiment with my powers, give me more power than I would have ever had, convinced that my loyalty would be with him, given my family. He wanted to create his right hand. >>

Ginny looked stunned. She certainly expected anything but that. "But how could your parents allow that?"

"Because the Dark Lord was about to finish gathering all his power to kill Potter, and my father wanted to restore the Malfoy surname to the prestige he has always enjoyed, so he offered his children in exchange for... nothing."

"That's why you're so skilled, right? It is as if a part of his powers belong to you. You are the closest to an equal they will ever find "

Maia's heart was working fast. She raised her hands to her face nervously. "I am linked to him in a way that you would never imagine. My mother decided to tell me all this when I was sixteen. The magical war was about to break out, and she felt I deserved to know that. I have always suspected that there was something strange about me, but not up to that limit. I understood too late that my parents had sold my life and that I have been condemned to this since I was born. Voldemort wanted a right hand, and that's what I've become, Ginny."

"What do you mean?" Ginny asked with fear intertwined in her voice.

"At the Christmas dinner we made, my father revealed to everyone that Draco and I were going to marry people of his choice." Maia laughed humorlessly. "All my friends, including Draco, knew about it, and decided it was best not to tell me anything. That's the reason why I don't speak to them, and probably the reason why Pansy has decided to insult you.

>> I discovered thanks to Eden that everyone knew that detail, so I immediately returned to my house, I couldn't bear to think how they had laughed at me like that. When I came back Voldemort was there. He wanted me to demonstrate my loyalty, and there was nothing I could do but do it. He wanted me to kill a Death Eater who had gone after Potter, your brother, and Granger when they set out to find the horcruxes, because he couldn't stop a group of teenagers. He wanted to know if I had enough cold blood and guts to kill him.<<

"Did you... do it?"

"I did it. I did it and I am trying to come to terms with myself that I did it, and that I have to bear the consequences and the responsibility that goes with it. I took someone's life, there is no excuse for it. It's something that still won't let me sleep at night, I still think about the last time he looked at me and—"

Her voice stopped short as Ginny's arms wrapped around her neck. She opened her mouth a few times, but was speechless.

"I'm not saying I don't like it, but what are you doing?"

"You needed a hug." Ginny said against her hair. "This is not your fault, Maia. You had no other choice. He would have done who knows what if you hadn't. I know it doesn't relieve you, but I don't blame you. He would have killed you if you hadn't acted. It's not a nice thing, but I don't think you're a bad decision maker, you just have no choice."

"I'm not a good person, Ginny. I could have decided not to kill him."

"And then he would have done it himself, after killing you. I understand that we are in difficult times and that sometimes we have to act without thinking in order to protect our own. You know what you have done, Maia, and it is important that you keep it in mind, but you cannot torture yourself for something which decision was not yours to make." Ginny pulled away from her and looked down at her hands as she played with her fingers. "About what you said about getting married...?"

"Blaise Zabini. He is rich, young and comes from a good family. But I'm not going to marry him. We have to find the horcruxes and get this over with." Maia approached Ginny, and her cold hands came in contact with the warmth of the Weasley. "I don't want to let you go, Ginny."

"Then don't."

Maia caught Ginny's lips with her own because she couldn't hide her desire for much longer. She groaned against them, in a mixture of relief from Ginny's reaction and the pleasure of kissing the redhead. Ginny pulled her closer to her, if that was possible, and wrapped her arms around the Malfoy's neck again.

Maia understood that this was one of the few things she was still there for. Months ago she would have looked with pleasure at the possibility of gathering everything she needed and leaving —with Draco, obviously—, but now she didn't conceive the idea of ​​leaving the Weasley behind and pretending nothing had happened. Her heart skipped a beat each time her lips rejoined with frenzy, each time more rapidly and desperately.

Maia shifted in place, uncomfortable with the position, and leaned on top of Ginny, resting her arms on either side of the girl's body. In that way the kisses became slower, warmer, but equally passionate. The two girls could feel their cheeks glow reddish, triggered by the feeling of ecstasy and excitement. Maia bit lightly on Ginny's lower lip, who gave a soft moan at the act, and Maia smiled widely.

"You look cute, all worked up." Maia smirked. "You're too good for me, I feel like we both know this. I don't know what you're doing with me."

"From the first moment we met this year, I knew you were different. Your eyes sparkled differently, something about you had changed. You even defended me when Draco insulted me —don't think I didn't hear it. I know a lot has happened in the past that we both would like to change, but honestly I think you have strived to change what you didn't like, and with me you are doing well. I believe in second chances for people who earn them. I like having been one of the few people with whom you really are, because it means that you saw in me the same as I did in you. You chose me the same way I chose you, and neither of us knew it. You've kept me sane all this time, I think without you —despite the up and downs— I would have gone crazy, Maia."

The girl stole another kiss with a small smile. "I hope you know that you have been my salvation. Without you everything would have stopped making sense." Ginny looked down. "You're beautiful. I love your freckles right here under the eyes; your childish smile when you see something funny; or how I—"

Maia suddenly stopped talking. Ginny frowned, concerned. "What happened?"

"I love you." The blonde whispered incredulously. It wasn't the first time she thought about it, but it was the first time she realized how true it was. "I love you." she repeated.

It was as if there was not an iota of fear left in her body when Ginny lunged for her and kissed her deeply. She felt that with Ginny at her side nothing bad could happen, that it was the solution to all her problems. Really in that instant she was alone with her in a cloud, forgetting everything that was happening around her.

Maia heard Ginny's whisper back right in her ear and she shuddered right away. She felt goosebumps on her arm and the hairs on her neck stood on end, and it was as if something had been activated inside her. She leaned into her arms and stared at the redhead with intensity, who had a genuine smile on her face. "What...?"

Maia approached her slowly, and it was only when she planted her lips on the girl's neck that Ginny let out a sigh. She ran her slim fingers over the girl's abdomen, which radiated heat, and she shuddered under her touch. She bit down gently on the place she hadn't stopped kissing, and Ginny sighed again.

The Slytherin separated from the redhead, who complained with her eyes. "It's a bit hot in here. Do you mind if we take this off?" She muttered, pointing to Ginny's Gryffindor jersey.

The latter didn't answer, but simply took it out herself and threw it on the ground. Maia pulled her back to her with the intention of kissing her, but stopped when Ginny looked at her.

"Everything okay? We can stop."

"No, no! Believe me, this is hot. It's just I haven't done anything besides snogging, and you surely have more experience than me."

Maia laughed lightly. "Wait, you think me and Fleur—? Merlin, no! I was fourteen. It was a crush, I was sure of what I wanted and what I didn't. With you, I want to. But there's no need to do it now. It's alright, eh?"

"Read the room, Malfoy. I'm partially naked in front of you. Of course I want to do this with you."

Maia smirked, and to balance things out she also got rid of her gray sweater. "It was stained, anyway. Give me your hand." Ginny obeyed, and watched as Maia brought her to her chest. "Can you feel it? I'm nervous as hell. We just have to listen to each other to make this right."

Ginny turned them around so that now she was the one on top of Maia. The Slytherin placed her hands on the younger girl's back, looking her straight in the eye. Ginny leaned down to give her a kiss that Maia gladly received, and moved closer to the blonde as she put her hands behind her back. The blonde began to gasp as the redhead's bra slid down her shoulders and fell to the side of the bed.

"Wow."

Maia was convinced: Ginny's laughter filling her ears and the contact with her skin made it look like heaven on earth.