"i don't want your body
but I hate to think about you with somebody else"

JUNE 30TH, 1997

"Please, don't do it."

Maia's eyes filled with tears as Draco's wand began to point at her. Her brother looked at her, his hand trembled and his eyes showed rebuke, fearful.

"Back off. I don't want to hurt you."

"You are already doing it!" Maia yelled desperately. "Please, don't go in. We will say that there's been a mistake, that Borgin and Burkes gave you something broken, but don't do it."

Draco clenched his jaw and grasped his wand. Maia was still outside the door of the Room of Requirement, preventing her brother from entering. It was late evening, there was no one in the hall, and the twins were having a heated argument.

"If I don't, it will kill us all."

"Tonight people will die if you let them pass, Draco. You're not like that, you're not—"

"I don't want him to hurt you! Don't you understand it? My family is the only thing I have in this world, and I'm not going to let them hurt you. So please step aside, or I'll have to do it myself."

Maia sobbed weakly. Draco thought that his heart had never been broken until that very moment, when he saw his sister surrendering to him, defeated, pleading. Maia was not like that. Maia was proud, strong, and tough. That person in front of him wasn't his sister, just as he wasn't himself. Fear forced to do and become terrible things, Draco thought.

Death Eaters had to walk through that door to Hogwarts in exactly six minutes. Everything was calculated. He had communicated to the Death Eaters what they should do during the Easter holidays; everything was ready, and he couldn't let — ironically — the person he most wanted to save from that disaster ruin everything.

"Draco, you are going to kill tonight. Possibly people will die tonight. I don't want you to carry this weight on your conscience." Maia mused, her hair tousled and her makeup smushed.

Draco raised the wand again in fury. "I prefer that they mourn their losses than I mourn mine. Sorry, Maia, but you won't convince me. Not this time. Don't force me to cast a spell on you."

Her sister wiped the tear grooves with her black cape, let out a last sob, and took a deep breath, still agitated. Draco's eyes were darker and watery that night.

"I hope you know what you are doing." They were the last words Maia spoke to her brother that night.

She ran towards the end of the corridor, but not before giving one last glance to her brother, who remained static at the door of the room, hesitant, watching the figure of his twin becoming smaller as she advanced.

He swallowed and opened the door, still trembling.

TODAY

Maia felt that she was very different from everyone else.

She had enjoyed Potions classes with Snape since first year —perhaps it had been influenced by the fact that Snape knew her family, and that she was Slytherin herself after all— she hadn't drooled over Gilderoy Lockhart like most of the female population from Hogwarts. She had been the first girl in a long time to join the Slytherin Quidditch team. She also didn't think Trelawney was mental: she was curious about all that tea leaves could mean, and she liked the woman talking so passionately about something that could be so irrelevant to many.

Any child in these conditions would be glad to come home for Christmas, but she still hated having to return. She had been avoiding packing her bags, but when Pansy had so steadily entered the room, ready to collect all her clothes, she had had to pretend that she was already finishing so that no one asked indiscreet questions.

She didn't want to go home, because that wasn't her home. The only reason that could cross her mind was Draco, who didn't even speak to her. What reasons did she have left? Probably not be declared a traitor. She thought that her departure would really only affect her mother. Bellatrix would be furious, of course, while Lucius would simply be disappointed.

But she liked to think that this would break her mother's heart. Not that she liked that idea, but she did like to think that someone, at least, would mind. Because Lucius and Bellatrix would only lose one piece in their games, but Narcissa would lose her daughter.

So she had started packing all her things, slowly, but determined to return. It would only be a few weeks, it wasn't too long for things to get out of hand.

"Are you ready?" Eden asked from behind, his bag slung over his shoulder and dragging the heavy suitcase over to her.

Maia sighed but nodded, giving him a small smile. "As prepared as I can be."

"Come on, I'll take your luggage. You can say goodbye to whoever you want."

"Actually, this time I'm going to go with you. You don't deserve to be in the middle of those lovebirds." Maia smiled at him.

Eden shook her head but pinched her cheek.

They started their way to the train. There were hardly any students left in the castle, they had taken the opportunity to leave as soon as possible, while others, like Eden and Maia, had rushed to the last moment.

They walked in silence, as if the Slytherin were able to read her mind and know that she wanted to have some peace before reaching the Manor. Maia would have liked to know how Draco was dealing with having to go home and reside with Voldemort again, but the boy still didn't speak to her. She had hunted him down with a look, but Draco quickly turned his head away and Maia had to pretend she hadn't seen anything. Is it that they were too proud, or is it that, from that moment, their causes separated them?

Maia was scared to think that. She knew that, in the long run, she would do anything for her brother, even if it meant swallowing her words.

"Are you okay?" Eden asked again. The wind hit her cheeks, and Maia covered her neck with her scarf. "It seems that you walk without knowing where you are going."

"To the slaughterhouse, that's where I go." Maia laughed humorlessly. "I'm fine. How are you? I feel like we always talk about myself. I want to hear from you. What are you going to do these weeks?"

The boy ran his hand down his cheeks after leaving the bags on the train. "Well, you know how my mother is. Since my father died, she has been very different. Sometimes she is too happy, other times too sad. I don't know what it will be like this time, to tell the truth. But I will be alright. Come over sometime, okay? My mother adores you, and the truth is that I could use a distraction, and I think you could, too. We can run away and eat pizza in the usual place." Eden winked and Maia smiled.

"You save my life. I love you."

Eden smiled widely and got on the train. Maia came up behind him, taking a few moments to appreciate the station. In less than twenty-four hours, it would all be gone. Pansy and Daphne would no longer be by her side, sleeping soundly, or gossiping until late at night, nor would she wake up early to go up to the Great Hall and eat breakfast in the company of people she could tolerate. She thought he would even miss the night guards.

She let out a long sigh and her eyes prostrated in the snow that covered the road began to lose vision, as the train had begun to run.

"I'm going to look for them. Don't take too long or they'll start to get suspicious." Eden said goodbye.

"Thank you. For everything you do for me."

"This would be an ideal time for us to kiss. Too bad you already have your wooer." Eden chuckled and pointed with his chin where a certain redhead watched the scene with interest. "I don't blame you. She is pretty."

"Back off, you idiot." Maia laughed. "See you later."

Eden closed the compartment door when she left. They were in the Gryffindor area - where there were more Muggle-borns - so it was practically empty. Ginny sent her a small smile, as if she didn't dare do anything else out of fear. Maia sent it back, and then Ginny's gesture widened. She felt like a little girl.

"Hey, have you found any—"

Neville Longbottom interrupted himself when he discovered that he wasn't the only one accompanying Ginny. Behind him loomed blonde hair, who directed a friendly greeting to Maia. The Gryffindor could not understand why Luna and Ginny liked them. She was evil - a Slytherin, for Merlin! - arrogant, and had always been silent at the insults of her twin brother.

"What are you doing here? Do you always have to interrupt our plans?"

"I remind you that if it hadn't been me who interrupted your plan, you would be dead." Maia hissed. She didn't like Longbottom challenging her; he had always been a shy and quiet boy, and now that he took on important airs it upset the Malfoy.

"It could have been your brother, the Death Eater." Neville spat, with a courage he didn't even know where he had come from, but he didn't like being messed with.

With a quick gesture, Maia grabbed Neville by the collar of his vest and slammed him against the wall of the compartment. Instinctively, Neville closed his eyes, and two muffled screams brought him back to reality.

"Mention my brother again, and I'll kill you myself." She tightened her hold on the boy, and moved closer to his face. "Great that you decided to grow balls, Longbottom. But watch out for me, because my ovaries are bigger."

She released Neville, who breathed heavily, gave her one last look, and stormed out of the compartment. Luna pursed her lips and grimaced apologetically, and went after the Gryffindor.

Maia looked at Ginny as she fixed the sleeves of her cloak. "I don't care if he's your friend, I'm not going to apologize for that."

"I wasn't going to ask you to do it. It was out of place." Ginny walked over to her and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "Neville has been very upset lately. He feels he must be brave for everyone and protect us, now that Harry is gone. He is unable to see beyond your uniform and everything that has happened in the past."

Maia shrugged her shoulders. "I get it, but he can't mention Draco like that and not expect me to hex him. I wish I could prove that I'm not one of them, but I can't, Ginny."

"I know. I'm not asking you to do it, it's too risky. People would freak out if they knew what you were really doing." Ginny mused, her commissures rising slightly. "I can't wait to go home. I didn't know I would want it that much."

"Well, thanks for considering me." Maia replied sarcastically. "You must be careful. They are hunting traitors and Muggles, and I would like to have you back after Christmas."

Ginny's cheeks lit up, but Maia smiled seeing that less and less, she was already getting used to the Malfoy's kind words.

Maia was surprised when the redhead hugged her tightly. It took her a while to react and wrap her arms around her, but this time it was her cheeks that got excessively hot. She was a few inches taller than the Weasley, so she felt her chin rest on her shoulder. She was afraid Ginny would hear her heart beat faster than normal.

"I will miss you." The sound of her voice was muffled against the fabric of her clothing. "Take care, okay? We will see each other again." Ginny's hopeful voice was like music to her ears.

The redhead placed a kiss on her cheek, her lips lingering against her skin. After that, she left the compartment to join her friends.

Maia froze, but shook her head and decided it was time to search for Eden and the others.

To say that she was going to miss all the hours she spent with Ginny was an understatement. Since her argument with Draco, she had spent less time with Eden, which had given her free rein to be alone with Ginny, who had her meetings with the DA but always found a moment to meet the Malfoy.

Maia had been insistent on continuing to teach her non-verbal magic, and although Ginny hadn't quite agreed at first —she would hate to make a fool of herself in front of Maia— she had given up. She had shown great strides, mastering the expelliarmus after a couple of sessions, and they had decided to focus on somewhat more complicated spells, as they would be the truly useful ones should something happen.

On the other hand, Ginny had also used the time they had in the Room of Requirement to make Maia practice her patronus. Although it was true that she wasn't yet able to take a corporeal form, white sparks were already coming from the tip of the girl's wand. Maia had smiled incredulously the first time it had happened, but had refused to give her the happy memories she had thought of.

She couldn't tell the Weasley that she thought about the way her heart raced every time she smiled at her, or how her goosebumps would come out every time Ginny stroked her hair at the back of her neck, or all the times she could feel her breathing. on her own lips. She couldn't confess those things to her or she would think she was crazy.

Just as she couldn't confess many other things to her. She couldn't tell her that, when the time came, Maia would have to turn away from her forever.

With a grim expression on her face, she reached the compartment they always occupied. Everyone glanced at her when they saw her open the door, even Draco.

"Where were you? You've missed the best." Pansy asked.

"In the bathroom." Maia replied succinctly.

She took a seat next to Eden, who leaned against the window so Maia could sit more comfortably. To her right, Daphne seemed immersed in reading a book whose title she couldn't decipher. In front of Eden, Blaise was absentmindedly watching the scene as Draco and Pansy, occupying the other two vacant seats, exchanged cards from the chocolate frogs.

Maia rested her head on Eden's shoulder, who didn't flinch, and sighed. It was going to be a long journey.

"The plans to go skiing have been canceled." Daphne said suddenly. Pansy pursed her lips in disappointment. "My father sent us a letter yesterday, saying it will have to be another time. There will be a Christmas dinner at our Manor, and you are all invited. I suppose it has to do with everything that is happening."

"This sucks." Pansy mused, imitating Maia's gesture but with Draco. "It's not fair. I don't want to eat my parents' problems."

"I know." Daphne added, visibly upset. "But it is what awaits all of us, isn't it? It is what we were born for."

Maia shifted uncomfortably in her seat, secretly checking that Draco did the same.

"If we don't obey, it will be our end." Maia spoke, looking directly at Draco for the first time in days. "We have to protect each other, or no one will."

"You know?" Daphne started. "We are not the best people. Anyone knows. We have done things during our childhood — and probably adolescence — that we are not entirely proud of now. We have succumbed to the pressure of having to be the best, always with our heads held high, pretending that everything is going well, throwing all our problems on others to feel better." The blonde shook her head, and Pansy put her hand on her knee. "But you are the closest I have had to a family during these seven years. I wish this hadn't been the situation, but we are strong. We have faced all kinds of things all this time and have been victorious. We are Slytherin, ambitious, strong and loyal. We always have the back of another of our own."

"Everything will end up going well. We are the future of the magical world." Pansy finished for her, looking at everyone. "Everything will be fine."

A strange energy filled the compartment. The atmosphere was sad and gloomy, but their words had made a dent in the hearts of everyone present. They would overcome that as they had overcome many other things. They were not alone.

Eden was the first to take Maia's hand, and Maia took Daphne's, who looked at her with a small smile. The three Slytherins in front did the same. They all looked at each other, but Maia's eyes lingered for a while longer over her brother's, so similar to hers. Neither said anything.

Just as no one else said anything the whole way back to London. Daphne had put the book away not long after her words and covered her eyes so she could sleep. Maia had done the same on Eden's shoulder, which woke her up hours later, when there were only a few minutes left for the train to stop.

The Malfoy looked out the window; it was true, the green meadows were now covered with snow, but they were approaching the city.

Soon after, the train stopped. The platform wasn't as crowded as other times. Many of the children were half-blood, so she assumed that one of their parents was a Muggle, so they couldn't be seen excessively. The six of them got out of the train and got their luggage. In the distance, Maia saw Mrs. Parkinson, waiting for her daughter. Pansy said goodbye with a sad smile from everyone, and disappeared as soon as she made contact with her mother.

"My parents aren't going to come, but I have to wait for Astoria. You can leave if you want. We will see each other on Christmas day." Daphne greeted them.

Blaise also said goodbye without much words. His mother was waiting for him, a little further from the others, but with a small smile.

"My mother won't come either. She never comes now." Eden mused. "See you in a few days. Take care, twins."

This was the first time in weeks that Maia had been left alone with Draco. It could be stupid to many people - they were siblings, for Merlin - but none of them gave up. Maia threw the bag on her back and cast a spell on the suitcase to make it levitate behind her and not have to pick it up herself.

They walked together but without opening their mouths. Several meters ahead of them, a family of redheads was gathering again. Maia stared at them - perhaps too much, being indiscreet, given the patriarch's gaze - and wished that the hug the mother gave her daughter was the one that would have waited for her every time she returned from Hogwarts. She took one last look at Ginny, who was separating from her mother at that moment, and the redhead smiled at her imperceptibly.

Maia had already walked away, but Molly Weasley muttered, "Is that Maia Malfoy? She's grown a lot since we last saw her, hasn't she, Arthur?"

"Of course. The last time I ran into the Malfoy family was when Lucius put the journal in Ginny's cauldron. That bastard - Sorry, Molly - She is just like her mother. Though probably just like Lucius, an ars - don't look at me like that, Molly.

"Can we go now?" Ginny interrupted, annoyed. "Leave her alone."

Away from there, Maia's heart skipped a beat. Draco's hand had curled into her own without a word. Draco looked at her with soft eyes, but said nothing, just squeezed her hand. Maia swallowed and did the same, intertwining her fingers with his.

The one waiting for them at the exit was Narcissa. Maia rolled her eyes internally: again there was no sign of Lucius. But she didn't say anything, she didn't want to break the moment with Draco, who seemed to want to reconcile with her.

"Maia, Draco." Narcissa smiled widely. She placed a kiss on the side of each of their heads and took them by the hand, so that the three were connected. "Welcome home again."