"cold, 'cause she has been here before
she doesn't cry anymore
no looking back"

MAY 29TH, 1993

That day, the Slytherin Quidditch team had practice in the late evening. The year was ending, but the captain always called them to call practices at the most unexpected hours and days. He said they never had to be caught unawares, and although Maia agreed with that motto - at least, most of the time - she wasn't too excited about training when it was a few weeks before finishing school. The matches were already over and that uniform took away their breath in such warm weather.

She had a bad feeling deep in her stomach, and they usually never failed, but she had decided to ignore it and keep flying. Behind her, the two beaters were fighting to see who hit the bludger earlier. The keeper seemed somewhat bored, as no one approached the hoops. She was a chaser herself, but the truth is that neither of the other two chasers wanted to train at that time.

Draco, on the other hand, was still looking for the snitch with a cat's eye. Maia knew he was doing it because he didn't want to make a fool of himself in front of Potter again. He was the only one on the team who had entered not on his own merit, but because his father had bought new broomsticks for everyone. Although that could have advanced the process of Maia joining the team, it was true that the girl was very fast flying for her size, and her skills as a chasers exceeded those of the most sturdy boys in superior years.

Flint called them all.

"I know Quidditch won't start again until next September, but I need you to be fit for the next matches. We cannot ridicule ourselves like that in front of the Gryffindors —again." He said, looking at Draco, who lowered his eyes.

Maia felt a sudden pain in her chest. It was there for a few moments, during which she had to strain to keep her balance on the broomstick, but left as soon as it had come. She refocused her attention on Flint, who was moving his lips, but the sound didn't reach Maia's ears.

The pain returned, this time much more intense. She let out a growl, and her hands released the wood from the broom. She fell crashing to the ground, her teammates' voices screaming, Draco's above anyone's.

The next day she woke up in the Hospital Wing with a headache and chest pain, but without remembering anything that had happened. She narrowed her eyes when she saw Lucius enter the infirmary, with his characteristic platinum blonde hair and the cane that had so scared the twins when they were younger.

"Father?"

Lucius looked at her. "How are you, Maia? Draco told me you fainted."

"I don't remember, father. I just remember a deep pain in my chest, and then everything is black. Am I going to be okay?"

"Of course, dear. Madam Pomfrey says it must be dehydration. You must take some potion and then rest, but everything will be alright." Maia nodded and Lucius returned the gesture. "However, the year has been suspended, due to the facts. As you need to repose, you will be coming home with your mother and I."

"Yes, father." Maia was never one to talk back, so she just nodded.

She didn't see her father turn around and open his eyes wide. Even if he didn't show it, he cared about his children, and the source of Maia's pain was definitely his fault.

TODAY

"You're glowing." Eden said taking a piece of bacon to his mouth. He chewed, waiting for a response from Maia that never came. "It's like, a twinkle in your eyes. Keep doing you, missy."

Pansy joined the conversation with a sly smile on her lips, dropping the heavy books on the table. "And she wasn't in the room last night when Daphne and I arrived. I think she has some secrets to spill."

"Leave her alone." Zabini interrupted, sipping coffee. "She was around the castle with me —thanks to the Carrows." Maia hadn't even spoken yet, she just cast a grateful look at the boy, who nodded with a small smile.

A few seats away, Draco was attentive to the conversation, thinking that it would go unnoticed if he walked away, but, to his displeasure, Maia was fully aware of his presence. The boy had his face resting on his hand, trying to hide it, but the reality was that his sister could read him like an open book, and Maia's stomach turned as she thought that Draco was still interested in her life.

Pansy and Eden shared a look and, at the same time, made a grunt of reluctance, which caused a laugh from Daphne, who watched the scene, amused. She wasn't very acquainted with Daphne, but she seemed kind to her, so she gave her a small smile as well.

"If there's no gossip, then I'm afraid I'm going to leave. I have Arithmancy now, fucking kill me." Pansy commented. "Are you coming?" She then asked Draco, who simply nodded. Pansy said goodbye to the two, and Eden and Maia saw them disappear.

If Eden had noticed her "glow", who else could have? Was it so obvious? She tried to convince herself that Eden was plain and simply her best friend, and he caught every detail that occurred to her. However, Pansy's comments had only fueled the flame of doubt that had been in her head since the night before: what was she doing?

She couldn't help but stare at Ginny, but there was no sign of the girl at the Gryffindor table, so Maia focused her gaze on her scrambled eggs, somewhat disappointed. Soon after, Blaise and Daphne also marched, saying goodbye with a bland gesture.

"Spill." Eden said, suddenly, when they were alone. "You might lie to them, but you can't lie to me."

"What? Zabini said it himself, I had a fantastic tour."

"Come on, Maia, this is good. I've never heard anything about your love life, I'm probably more excited about it than you are. Nonetheless, I still want to hear it."

"What love life are you talking about? The only thing I love is when you shut your mouth, Eden dearest."

Eden narrowed his eyes. "You know I'm very perceptive and inquirer. I mean, I could find out whenever I want to. And I want to right now."

Maia shook her head, muttering dickhead under her breath. The truth was quite another than the one she was telling her friend. She couldn't remember how many times the night before her skin had had goosebumps, or how many times she had stared into those fiery brown eyes, or how many times their lips had parted to be together again. She shuddered at the thought alone; something was forming inside of her — she refused to believe in the existence of butterflies in her stomach — and her heart was racing.

She didn't know why she had been forced to kiss Ginny. In her head there was no other choice but to draw her to herself and capture her lips with her own. However, it was also clear that the redhead hadn't complained, nor had she done anything to prevent this from happening; in fact, she was pretty sure she still had rosy cheeks like her hair. She suppressed the instinct to look for her again, knowing that Eden would continue with the topic.

"Okay, it be like that sometimes." Eden sighed. "I have no choice. DOES ANYONE—"

"What the fuck are you doing? Have you lost your mind?!" Maia grabbed him by the cloak and dragged him back to the seat, her eyes accusing and her fist clenched around the cloth. "I will tell you if you promise to shut up about it."

"Promise."

"No, really. Nothing that I tell you right now can be shared. Nothing."

Eden put his hand to his mouth and pretended to zip it up.

To say that Maia was nervous was an understatement. Merlin, she was going to reveal her biggest secret to two different people in less than two weeks. A part of her wanted to remain silent — she didn't want to lose Eden — and tell him of any stupidity. However, the other part was dying to finally tell him that she would never — ever — be interested in dating Theodore Nott. She swallowed and told herself that if Eden fled at the time, he had never really loved her.

"I was guarding the castle for the Carrows with Zabini when a Ravenclaw came across. I knew where he was coming from, so I had to tell Blaise to go, or else he would've found out everything. So I was right, and the boy came from the Room of Requirement, and voilà, there was Dumbledore's Army — what a stupid name, really—"

"You're so slow a turtle would overtake you. Time to spice things up, come on. Did you make out with that guy?"

"I did not. Though I kissed somebody else." Maia let out a whisper. Eden looked at her, urging her to continue, as the smile on his lips widened. "I kissed Ginny Weasley."

Eden's smile froze.

Maia's heart began to beat rapidly. Fuck. Fuck. She shouldn't have told him anything. She reached out to make contact with his hand.

"Let me explain."

"No. There's nothing to explain. You made out with a Gryffindor, a blood traitor, and a girl." Eden looked at her seriously, but couldn't help the smile on his lips. "That's amazing!"

"Wait, what?"

"You're the literal black sheep of the Malfoys. Damn. I was rooting for you. You're screwed," he laughed. "What? You thought I didn't know? I'm your best friend since you were like this tall. I just want you to know that what matters is you being happy, I don't care if it's a boy, a girl, a muggle, a blood-traitor or whatever, you name it."

Maia pulled a book out of her backpack and hit Eden with all her might. He groaned. "You fucking scared me. You're an ass. I thought you were going to hate me."

"Oh, Mai. I could never hate you. You're my best friend. I love you the same —if not more, really. How was it?" Eden stood up and hugged the girl from behind, then changed the topic. "Steamy is what I'm going for."

"Well, you're not wrong. I didn't expect it to happen, but I had this urge in my heart and couldn't stop it. I don't know what came over me, really, but I needed to kiss her. So I did. We made out for a long, long time, and then we slept together in the Room of Requirement."

"You what?!"

"Not like that, you imbecile. I meant really sleep. I get really nervous around her, so I didn't want to bother her and I slept in a different bed."

"Oh, my god. She probably thought you were stupid. What kind of person kisses another and doesn't want to share a bed? For someone so highly logical, you're pretty dumb. What did she say this morning?"

Maia rubbed her head with her hands, sighing. "It was a bit awkward. We made small talk, but didn't say nothing about last night. I don't think there's much to add, really. It happened and now we can't change it. Each of us went separate ways, and I haven't seen her since."

"So, what? Do you regret it?"

Maia answered fast and eagerly. "No, of course not. I liked it. Truth is, I'm dying to do it again. I don't know what's happening to me." She cried out.

"Then do it again. What's the problem? You liked it, she liked it. Nobody's going to spy on you." Eden stopped talking as soon as he saw his friend's gaze. "Oh, I know that look. Please tell me you're going to speak to her again."

"I'm not that much of a bitch, thank you. It's just really difficult. You know my life is not easy, my surroundings are the worst to keep this thing alive. Whatever I do, I'll be putting someone in danger, and I can't let that happen with her. I can't ruin a person like that, Eden. But the burning fire inside of tells me that I should go after her and take the chance while I still can. What do you think I should do?"

Eden looked at her sympathetically. "I think you should do whatever makes you happy. Look, we are in the middle of a war, things are going to happen either way. You should enjoy the things that make you happy while you can, you said it yourself, and if she gives you joy, then go ahead. Just make sure no one finds out, because that's when the real problems will start. You're complete opposites. People won't understand." He caressed her cheek and smiled. "Just do you, okay? I got your back."

Maia felt her heart shrink and she felt the terrible need to wrap her friend in a hug. They walked together toward the exit of the Great Hall, Eden's arm around Maia's shoulders —who, despite her height, was somewhat shorter than the boy.

Maia didn't see her, but Ginny had entered the Great Hall when she and the Slytherin had started to speak, and she couldn't help but glance discreetly at the table area where Maia and her friend were sitting. Ginny's breathing hitched as the Slytherin had caressed Maia's cheek and they had melted into a hug. She knew she shouldn't feel that way, but the night before things had awakened in her that she had never thought would happen.

"Maybe now's the time to tell you that I made out with Fleur Delacour...?"

"You WHAT?!"

Two days later, Ginny's mind began to travel far beyond what it should. She still hadn't spoken to Maia, whom she hadn't even seen in the hallways in the past forty-eight hours. However, it wasn't entirely the blonde's fault —she couldn't tell that she hadn't made any effort to seek her gaze during meals in the Great Hall, if that was of any use— because Ginny had also been avoiding her. If I avoid her, I'm sure this crush will go away.

But that hadn't worked, because she kept thinking about her from time to time, awake or asleep, in company or alone - in any case, those kisses had been burned into her heart - and she couldn't erase from her head that scene they had lived together, but how far away it was now. Ginny felt like she'd captured those images forever, because she'd caught herself thinking about them more than once, but on none of those occasions had it been as perfect as it had been in real life.

Maia's eyes had seemed so pure, and her caresses so genuine, and her kisses so sincere, that Ginny had completely given up on her. She had treated her gently, looking deep into her eyes, making her see that she could stop if she was feeling uncomfortable, had looked at her with such seriousness and respect that Ginny had blushed more than she would have done in any other situation. Although it was true that she was now older, her former partners hadn't treated her in the same way —in truth, Ginny had always thought that they wanted to go out with her for showing off, or even approaching the golden trio—, nor with that passion.

She hadn't even been attentive during her Muggle Studies class, her elbow resting on her desk and her face in her hand, looking bored. In other circumstances, she would have hated that class, with Alecto Carrow taunting Muggles, but her mind was too far away. Ginny thought Maia would have been proud of her - she hadn't said a word, she hadn't gotten into trouble! - and she gulped when she found herself thinking of the Malfoy again.

"Are you coming?" Asked a shy voice beside her. Luna looked at her with those big eyes, waiting for an answer. "Neville must be outside by now."

Ginny didn't answer, just nodded. She wasn't hungry, but she would take whatever opportunity she had to watch Maia from a distance.

The boy was waiting for them on the stone bench in front of the class. He had a small scar on his cheek and Ginny grimaced every time she saw it. Neville always smiled and said it didn't matter, it didn't hurt anymore, and they changed the subject.

"How was it? Nobody came out of the class while I was waiting for you, so I'm assuming it went well."

Ginny shrugged. "I don't think anybody had the guts to say anything. It's almost Christmas, and people want to have a peaceful one. I don't want my mum to ask about a possible bruise on my cheek, you know?"

Ginny felt that she had been too harsh on Neville, but said nothing more about it. She wasn't in the mood. She just wanted to go home, spend a quiet Christmas, and give herself time to recover and be able to face the next semester at Hogwarts —who knew, maybe the Carrows would magically disappear from their lives.

Her behavior changed immediately when she saw a certain blonde leave a class, accompanied by Pansy Parkinson and Eden Whitaker, all three laughing, apparently happy. Maia's smile froze on her face when she saw the redhead accompanied by her friends, but she gave her a toothless smile, and instantly Eden caught sight of what was happening. "Hey, Pansy, I race you to the Great Hall. The first one to arrive gets all the nuggets."

"Oh, you're on." Pansy smirked, and pushed Eden against the wall as she ran. However, Eden was very tall, and managed to catch up, not without first winking at the Malfoy.

Maia bit her lip as she understood what Eden was trying to do, and she stifled a laugh as she looked at Ginny from across the hall. This made the redhead forget how to breathe for a few moments and have to look away, or knew she would fall at the feet of the Slytherin once again.

Maia did something that none of the three friends would have expected. She stepped closer to them, and smiled imperceptibly at Luna, while simply glancing at Neville, who frowned. "Hi." Luna mumbled cheerfully.

"Hey. I've been meaning to talk to you." Maia dedicated the last part to Ginny, staring at her, as if the other two weren't there in front.

"Leave her alone, will you?" Neville growled. Maia eyed him up and down. Neville felt less relaxed and clenched his jaw.

"I will if she wants to."

Neville pointed a finger at her and nailed it to her chest. "Just because you did one good thing doesn't make you less evil."

Maia snorted. "You're sweet." Then she gently removed Neville's finger from her clothing. "Don't touch me again."

"Neville, it's okay. You two can go ahead, I'll join you later."

"You sure?"

Maia looked at him. "She's sure, she doesn't need your aproval." Neville scowled but left with Luna anyway. Maia smiled at Ginny. "Hi."

"Hello." Ginny shut her eyes. Stupid. Why did your voice crack, you idiot.

"Do you have a moment? I've been trying to talk to you, but it seems like the right time never came."

"Yeah, sure."

Maia took her hand and ushered her into the bathrooms. She closed the door manually, and then bewitched it so it couldn't be opened. "You know what I want to talk about. Before you say anything, I want to ask you something: do you regret what happened?"

Ginny didn't hesitate. "Of course not." There was that feeling of levitating again when Maia smiled a smile that almost seemed shy. "And you?"

The blonde shook her head. "Look, I know I'm not your friends' cup of tea, or your family's, or even yours, and that I'm probably not the right person for you - or anyone, really - because, let's be honest, nobody would want to surround themselves with a Malfoy in the midst of war. Nor do I want my situation to affect you or your loved ones, or to endanger you. I have never had anything like this with anyone before, I am a disaster handling feelings and I screw up on many occasions—"

"Are you trying to dissuade me or yourself? You seem to be trying to excuse yourself from all this and run away."

Maia smiled, her eyes finally meeting. "You haven't let me finish. I may not be your cup of tea for multiple reasons, but every time I see you my day changes. You are one of the few people to whom I have truly shown myself and I don't regret it. I'm not trying to run away —in fact, I look at you and I want to repeat the other night in a loop— but I'm trying to show you what there is. I want you to bear with me, Weasley, but I'll respect any choice you make, whether you want to stay or not."

"I ... Wow. I didn't expect this. I didn't even know what to expect. I thought it didn't mean as much to you as it did to me, that it had happened by hanging out but you'd forget."

"That offends me, Weasley."

Ginny smiled a little. "It's just that you always seem so cold ... I didn't think you could reciprocate whatever happens to me." She put her hands to her head. "Merlin, my parents would freak out. I don't think my brothers ever understood it."

"Tell me." Maia laughed softly. "They would probably disown me. And they would erase me from the great family tree. I don't rule out the option of being tortured until healed. But what difference does it make? Fuck them. I want to be free, Ginny. And I have never felt so much freedom as at this moment." She mused before kissing her.

Ginny closed her eyes and savored that moment as if it were the last. Maia put her arms around her and pulled her closer to her as their lips met passionately, letting out soft grunts as one bit the lip of the other. The Slytherin quickly took control when she forced Ginny to jump into her arms; the redhead wrapped her legs around Maia's waist, who propped her on the sink.

Ginny took the blonde's pale face and kissed her deeply. Merlin, her heart was racing at times. She had never felt so good as at that very moment. Nothing mattered to her; the Slytherin was able to make her forget her worst thoughts as soon as their lips met. They kissed hard, as if they were mixed into one person. Ginny ran her hands over the blonde's nape, who had her hair tied back in a ponytail, and played with her hair as the kisses slowed down.

Maia separated from the younger when she felt her breath cut short, and her eyes widened in horror. "My lipstick! It's ruined! " She looked at herself in the mirror, and the whole area around her lips was stained with passion red, just like Ginny, who burst out laughing when she saw the image.

"You're such a baby. Wait," she said when the Slytherin turned on the tap to clean herself. She planted one last kiss on her and smiled at her. "Now you can wash it off."