"you want a revelation,
you want to get it right
and it's a conversation
i just can't have tonight"

SOMETIME AROUND 1996

"What is she doing here?" Harry had an incredulous expression on his face. He looked at Dumbledore and repeated the question again.

Maia wasn't overly happy to see the boy out there, either, eyes wide and blaming her. But she knew what she had to do: not to lose her nerve and listen to Dumbledore closely - he knew what he was doing.

She fell behind, leaning against the wall, as Potter and Dumbledore advanced to the headmaster's desk.

"Feeling's mutual." Maia muttered.

That seemed to entertain the headmaster, who smiled slightly despite his generally bad appearance. "There is something I need to tell you both. Please, come closer, Miss Malfoy. Harry here is not going to bite."

"He wishes." Maia looked him straight in the eye, and Harry didn't hesitate, holding her gaze.

"What are you doing, professor? Why is she here?"

"You have to trust me, Harry. Maia is no threat to you."

"What do you mean? She's a Slytherin, and a Malfoy! Of course she's a threat to me!"

Maia huffed a little, bored. She knew this would happen sooner or later and that it wouldn't be easy. After all, she had been the shadow of Draco for six years, the boy who had made life impossible for him since he stepped on Hogwarts. It was normal for Potter to distrust her, just as she did not fully trust the Gryffindor either.

"Maia is on your side, Harry. I'd never let anyone interfere in our mission if I didn't think it'd be worthy. She's a bright witch and probably knows more about Dark Arts than any of your sixth years." Dumbledore stated, looking at the boy above his glasses, seriously. "I know this must be difficult for you, as you've seen her like an enemy for most of your stay here, but put your trust in me, Harry: she's going to help you."

"How?" Harry stammered, feeling confused, to say the least. If Dumbledore was saying those words, he was no one to refute them. He was still suspicious, though.

"You both know the mission that has been assigned to you. Look for the horcruxes and destroy them. You're the only ones who can carry out this."

Harry did not know what to say. He looked from one person to another, confused, not knowing what had just happened. Maia raised her eyebrows every time she saw him fix his eyes on her, surprised but suspicious. The Slytherin knew that gaining the boy's trust would be a difficult — practically impossible — task, but she knew she would have to start getting along civilly with Harry Potter if she wanted that mission to be successful.

So she spoke out loud.

"My brother is a Death Eater, but that's something you already know." Harry turned abruptly and looked at her. "I'm not. Yet. Who knows what he wants to do to me. One thing I know for sure is that I don't want the same fate my brother and my family had, and I'm not sitting around while I see everything around me crumbling to pieces. I want to do something to stop it before it's too late." She got close to Potter, and he surprisingly didn't lean back. "I know you don't trust me. And you probably know I have no reasons to trust you, either. But I don't see you as my worst menace, and I know we both look forward to the same thing: taking him down and start living once and for all. So I am willing to put aside this rivalry and fight together."

Harry felt truthful in her words, but it was hard for him to believe the young woman so soon. He looked at the director, stupefied, not knowing what to say.

"How do we know this is not a trap? That she'll tell everything to Voldemort once she gets back home?"

Dumbledore smiled at him imperceptibly.

"Because she's let me in her mind, Harry. She's sacrificed her biggest secrets for me to know she wants this as much as you do."

TODAY

"Go ahead, say it. Say I'm a fucker." Maia said, lighting the cigarette.

It was very cold — the cloud of steam coming from her lips wasn't just from the tobacco — but Maia couldn't be inside. She needed to feel the sensation that the wind chilled her to the bone, she needed to feel the coldness as she had not felt it for a long time. Another reason why she couldn't be inside was because she knew that sooner or later she would end up meeting Draco, and had argued enough times with him to know that she didn't want that empty gaze to be directed at her.

However, the fights had never reached that extreme. Of course, Maia and Draco had come to hex each other, to blow each other into the air until they hit the walls of the manor, or even paralyze their legs so that the other fell to the ground. Normally it was a few hours before one of them approached the other with a sad look, and the twin could not resist it and they were instantly forgiven. Maybe one day, at most. But it had never been as long as now.

Eden was looking at her with his big brown eyes, sitting on the floor, his green scarf coiled around his neck until it covered his chin. He rubbed his hands once in a while to keep them warm, but always with his eyes on his friend.

"I don't think you're a fucker. I do think you fucked up." Maia looked at him with the cigarette between her lips, and Eden shook her head. "I know you're right. I agree with you, you know that. But I think that wasn't the appropriate way to... put it." He got closer to her. "Look, I get what you're trying to do. You think you can escape, maybe during Christmas, maybe later, who knows, and take Draco with you. Start a new life together, because that's what you think he deserves. But it's not easy to abandon someone's family, Maia."

"My family abandoned me the moment my mother gave birth to me. My life's been ruined ever since. Why can't I do the same?"

"You can do what you want, but Draco is not you. While he thinks he's saving his family by becoming a Death Eater, you think you'd be sacrificing yourself. He really thinks all of you didn't have a choice. Because he still loves your family, and he wants to protect you. All of you."

"I just want to be free, Eden. And I get the feeling that I'll never be if I continue to be here. This place and its people consume me." Maia commented, inhaling smoke.

The Slytherin snatched the cigar from her mouth and used it himself. However, Maia did not comment. Nor did she comment on why he hadn't coughed, or why he was there with her. That was being friends, the girl thought.

"What are you going to do?" He asked at last.

Maia sighed. "I can't leave, that's crystal clear. They'll start looking for me, and everything we've done will go to waste. I can't leave Draco alone here either. He's the reason I started all of this, and he's the reason I'll go until the end. So I guess I'm stuck in Hogwarts and the Manor, or maybe some underworld inbetween."

Eden slowly nodded. "You know what I have to do, right?"

"Stay with Draco until the things cool off. He'll be jealous and angry if he sees you've chosen me over him, and you know it, but you also know I learnt how to be alone with myself. He hasn't." Maia tossed the cigarette in the snow, which melted briefly in the heat. Then she looked at Eden, who had a funny sparkle in her eyes. "What are you waiting for? Fuck off, boy."

Eden laughed softly, but didn't move from there. He took a strand of blonde hair that was slipping from her braid, and tucked it behind her ear. "You're my friend. I love you. I'm still here for you if you need me."

Maia's heart skipped a beat and she smiled a little. She was not used to receiving so much love. Sure, she had had a happy and joyful childhood, but since getting into Hogwarts things had started to change. Her mother had grown quieter, as if hiding things all the time. She gave her loving glances and motherly smiles, but there was nothing left of those afternoons they had spent drinking tea together, gossiping about other families in the wizarding world. Nor were there those nights when her father taught her the stars and the constellations, and pointed to a large map he had. Draco, she could read big; then she looked away, and there was a star, Maia.

There was only an enormous emptiness and painful memories left. There was no love, no warmth, no knowing looks. It seemed that, with the passage of time, the mansion itself had noticed the distancing. Its walls had become darker, the hallways quieter, and there was not as much light as before. The children grew, but the parents also did. Lucius no longer liked teaching Draco Quidditch techniques, and Narcissa had "better things to do" than teaching her daughter how a elegant person ate.

With Voldemort at home, things hadn't changed much. They sat together to eat, in silence, only answering when the Dark Lord had any questions for them. He looked like he was having fun, his red eyes glowing and his gruesome mouth grimacing that must have resembled a smile. Maia would never forgive Lucius for letting such a being enter her house — enter their lives.

She gathered her things from the ground and headed to the Charms class, the last of the day. The truth was, she didn't feel like crossing paths with her brother, whom she hadn't even seen up close since the meeting. Yes, she had seen him in class and during meals, but he had always left with Pansy and Eden, while she had been alone many times, occasionally surrounded by the characteristic silence of Blaise Zabini.

So what she did was take a seat next to him, not bothering to see if Draco or Eden were already at their desks. She did see Pansy a few seats ahead, and gave her a look that the girl returned. They had never been especially friends, but this year they were all closer than ever. Especially since she asked for advice to entice her brother.

If someone asked Maia what the class was about, the girl would not know how to answer. She spent the two hours writing pointless things on the parchment, staring absent-mindedly out the window, or playing with Blaise hangman. A snort escaped her when the word she guessed was "imbecile" and the couple felt all eyes of the class on her.

"Looks like you were having fun with Zabini." Pansy muttered once they were out of the class. Maia knew where the topic was going, so she rolled her eyes. "What? Don't look at me like that. It's time you have some fun, too."

Maia's eyes widened. "Wait, too? Have you...? Don't answer, I don't want to know that." Maia made a vomiting gesture, and Pansy laughed. "Disgusting."

"I definitely used some things you said to me, and he's more than content now. We've sneaked out a few times since then, but I assure you nothing's happened."

Maia kept walking and turned to make a disgusted face again.

"I don't want to hear anything coming out your mouth about it. The last thing you'll see is my puke all over you, Parkinson. "

She saluted the girl and left.

So was Draco happy with her? She was glad to know, but she wasn't going to ask him. She hadn't even thought of apologizing. Maia was a very proud person, except with her brother, but this was a matter that she was too convinced about to correct her opinion. She knew that if she had the chance, she would do anything for her brother, even if he didn't think like her. Still, she was glad that even though she wasn't present at that very moment, Draco found some happiness in someone other than her or Eden.

It was almost dinner time, but she wasn't hungry, nor was she in the mood to face Draco's passivity. Usually what they discussed was unimportant matters, banal issues, but this time Maia knew it would be more difficult for them to reconcile. If there was one thing Draco wasn't kidding about it was his family, and even though Maia was his own sister, he was hurt by her statements. He had no intention of abandoning his parents, even despite everything, as Maia had pointed out, and that Maia came up with something so selfish made him look at her with different eyes.

So she decided to head to the Prefect's Bathroom. Many times she came there to clear her mind, and with the ghost of Myrtle hanging around, no one thought to go, much less in these circumstances, with the Carrows walking through the halls. She waited impatiently for the change in the stairs, and cursed a student who bumped into her as she ran to the Great Hall. When she arrived, her eyes couldn't believe what they were seeing.

Ginny Weasley, her hand smeared with red paint, traced a message on the wall. "Dumbledore's Army reopens, we are looking for volunteers." Maia had to hold back a laugh. She approached the girl quietly — she would probably think that they would all be in the Great Hall, and that no one would discover her there at that hour. She put a hand on her shoulder, and in her best deep voice, she said, "What do you think you're doing?"

The redhead jumped up and turned quickly, her crimson-red cheeks paired with her ears. Maia couldn't contain her laughter and bowed. Ginny put her hand to her chest, still scared and somewhat confused.

"Are you mad?! You could've killed me! You're an ass."

"You should've seen the look on your face. I wish I'd taken a photo, you looked like you were going to shit yourself. Oh, Merlin." Maia continued laughing, a little less.

Ginny wished she could say she was angry and wanted to hit the blonde, but hearing her laugh so comfortably made something inside her churn.

"No, really. You're the mad one here. I cannot say the message's not creative, but maybe it's not the time. You know, crazy people walking around, with wands in their hands, not giving a fuck about any of you." Maia stated sarcastically.

"We're not going to just be quiet when there's so much happening around us. We have to stand up to them and fight."

Maia smirked. "Oh, you. So the "Dumbledore's Army" is really back. That's where you've been sneaking to every other night. You cheeky bastards." She laughed.

"Why are you laughing? You're supposed to be mad." Ginny asked, not knowing what to think.

"Mad? Me? I'm having fun. I'm not the one you're trying to stand up to."

Quick footsteps approached down the corridor perpendicular to that one. Maia looked instinctively at the Weasley's stained hands, and then at her, who looked like it was going to run at any moment, but instead, Maia quickly took her hand, muttered something, and the door in front of them of them opened. Upon closing it, the gears that protected it immediately closed, as if it were a secret.

Maia had Ginny pinned against the wall of the Prefect's Bathroom, her hand to her lips to keep her from making any strange sounds. With the silence they could perfectly hear what was happening outside.

"What in Merlin's name is this, Severus?" Maia recognized Amycus's voice, agitated.

"It seems like Dumbledore's Army is recruiting." Severus Snape spoke, in a bored and calm tone, as opposed to the Carrow. "Send some elves to clean this up. This hasn't happened."

Then the steps went away again. The two girls breathed normally again, agitated but calming at times. This time it was Maia who realized the closeness between the two, how her hand hadn't released the Weasley's since she had dragged her there, and how her other hand was still in contact with the burning skin of her face.

"As I said earlier, you're the mad one. Don't you see what could've happened? You need to stop being so reckless. If they had caught you, you would be spending the night in the Hospital Wing."

"Why do you care? You're not even angry about the painting. This doesn't affect you."

"It affects all of you dumbasses. You think this is some kind of game? The moment they catch you, you're all finished."

Ginny wiped her hand on the nearest sink, and watched her from the mirror. "We take care, believe it or not. Besides, why are you telling me this? You're not my mother to scold me, and I'm not a child."

"Because you're not always going to be lucky somebody's there to save your ass. You know what they're capable of, you've experienced just a bit of it. I've seen them kill people, you seriously don't want to mess with that."

The Weasley spun around suddenly, her red hair pulled back into a ponytail colliding with the mirror from the speed with which it spun.

"You have no right to tell me this. You've been ignoring me for the past weeks, for god's sake. Everytime I would look at you, you'd avoid it. I get that you don't want us to be seen together, but you could at least warn a girl, damn."

Maia would have liked to tell her that she had been looking for her for a long time, that she had waited for her at the Gryffindor Tower for more than one night, waiting for her to sneak in, like the first time, but she fell silent.

"You're right. I'm sorry. It's just I've had a few rough weeks and I didn't want to take my anger out on anyone. I don't think you deserve it."

Ginny stared at her. She was a little hurt, but when Maia looked at her with those eyes she felt that everything was no longer important. She had searching, piercing eyes, and she remembered how many times she'd been intimidated by them, but now she didn't see the same thing anymore. She saw a tired girl screaming for help.

"Why?" The redhead asked, approaching her.

Maia was slow to answer. She started to take off her clothes, and Ginny's eyes widened. What should she do? Turn to give her her privacy or stay still so that she saw that it had no effect on her? She felt her ears flush again. She tried to speak normally, but she babbled a bit, and wanted to hit herself for looking so stupid.

The Malfoy undid her braid, leaving her curly hair down, and stepped into the water. Ginny swore that she tried her best not to stare at her long legs, her pink lingerie or her chest. The redhead did not know what was happening to her, but Maia Malfoy was astonishingly breathtaking.

Maia dipped into the water for a few seconds, brushing her wet hair back as she returned to the surface. She rested her elbows on the marble of the bathroom and looked at Ginny.

"My brother is pissed at me."

"You're like flesh and bone. It'll pass. I've had plenty of fights with my brothers, and— "

"I told him we should run off to somewhere instead of being Death Eaters."

Ginny was silent immediately. Instantly she reached out, but remained still. Maia guessed her intentions, and reached out. Her forearm was still intact like the first day Ginny had searched for traces of the dark mark.

"No, I'm not one. And I also don't want to be one. So I said, 'Hey, how about we leave our family to their fate and just run away?'. Needless to say he was pissed."

"What did he say?" Ginny asked, sounding concerned. Or that's what it seemed to Maia.

"He basically said I was selfish. Am I? Selfish?"

Ginny sat cross-legged in front of her. "I don't think you are. You're free to make the choices you want to. My brother Charlie left home to raise dragons in Romania, and I don't think he's selfish. He chased what he wanted. Of course, these are not the same circumstances, but what I'm trying to say is that you have to choose whatever is going to make you happy and free. It might not be easy —it's really risky, if anything— but it might be worth it at the end." Ginny said. Soon she realized her words and added: "Just so you know, I'm not telling you to run away, because it's not the right time, but to keep those decisions and take them, if you still want to, when this all passes."

Maia nodded slowly. She was clear about the decisions she wanted to make, but Ginny was right. She had to wait a little longer, just a little, if she wanted the things she had done behind her family's back to make sense.

"I just hope I'm not dead before I get to make those choices." Maia muttered, her eyes not meeting the Weasley's.

"Why do you say that?"

Maia finally looked at her. "I'm doing dangerous things, Ginny. If he ever finds out, he'll want me dead more than he wants to kill Potter."