In which Wilbur catches himself on a ledge for a brief second.

      Or, the night of dreams and nightmares and pretending.

"Happy Birthday to you~"

The little dancing flame cast an orange glow on the trio's faces in the night.

"Happy Birthday to you~"

Niki pulled her jacket tighter around her shoulders as a cold wind passed them by.

"Happy Birthday to Niki~"

Karl grinned at Niki, patting her arm. She tried to smile back.

"Happy Birthday to you."

Niki leaned forward, blowing out the candle sunk into the white frosting, a lopsided cake held out in Quackity's hands. The smoke twisted its way up to the moon, into the silence of the night, leaving the cake behind. The group lapsed into silence, staring at it.

Quackity grinned nervously. "Sorry that it's a little messy..." The little cake leaned dangerously on one side, the icing messily coated in layers. "I'm not the best baker."

"I love it." Little splotches of pink tried to spell out her name. Niki looked up at Quackity, her eyes shining.

"Thank you." Niki smiled softly at the 2 boys next to her, trying to shove away the feeling of something missing. "You guys didn't have to do this."

"It's your birthday!" Quackity set the cake tin gently on the dewy grass. "Of course you have to have a party."

"Can we eat the cake nowww?" Karl's stomach rumbled loudly, and Niki let out a little chuckle.

"Yeah, we can eat the cake." Quackity reached back into a small bag he had brought with him.

"Look what I brought Karlos!" He pulled out 2 lukewarm white cylinders, making Karl's face light up. "White Claw!"

"Remember when we used to have can crushing competitions?" Quackity waited as the small can hissed out air. "I miss those."

"We could still have them if you hadn't left Manburg..." Karl's voice came out in a mumble, the edging hate and sadness looming over them emerging.

A White Claw hissed dangerously as a shocked silence settled between them.

"No politics today, boys." Niki reached over gently, stopping the White Claw from fizzling over. "It's my birthday."

"Niki, this isn't politics anymore, it's people-"

"It's my birthday." Niki shot him a look. "Please."

Quackity shrunk back with a sigh, chugging down his White Claw quickly before Karl could mention anything. Karl stared off to the side, suddenly not as excited as before.

The only sound was the knife slicing through the cake, clinking as the slices were placed on the plates and slid across the wet grass.

"I'm sorry more people couldn't be here, Niki." Karl pushed his slice around on his plate, losing his appetite. "I'm sure they would come if they could."

Niki squeezed his hand. "Having you guys here is enough."

"Have enough room in the party for one more?"

A man leaned on one foot precariously, his trenchcoat in tatters. Niki's eyes widened as he smiled at her, the bags under his eyes like purple bruise marks.

"Sorry, I'm late." Wilbur shifted awkwardly onto one foot, wincing from the pain.

Niki's voice was filled with masked fear. "Wilbur, what are you doing here-"

"I'm here for your birthday party of course!" Wilbur limped over to her, sitting heavily. He took her hand, his fingers rough and calloused from playing on the guitar. "Just like old times."

"Wilbur, I told you to stay away..." Niki's eyes were hurt, but she didn't pull her hand away.

"I'm over it now, I promise. I'm trying to get better. Please." Wilbur looked at her pleadingly. "Like you said. No politics tonight."

"Wilbur..."

"Let's keep pretending, ok?" Wilbur plastered a sloppy grin on his face. "I want to keep believing. Please."

Wilbur brought her hand up to his lips, kissing it, just a quick peck.

And Niki gave in.

Because everything that they had was built on believing.

They had promised to each other to believe.

And even if she couldn't, she needed to believe in him. That he was still the person that she had befriended, the same person that had built L'Manburg.

It didn't matter, she realized, as she looked into his eyes.

One night for believing, one night to forget.

"Ok," she said, and she clenched his hand tight.

And as the night went on, and they sang and danced with the moon, and they fell into the wet grass.

There were flames late at night, bigger ones, in front of the group, and it warmed their young faces hurting with smile lines. It crackled and popped and leapt off like tiny comets as Quackity strummed his guitar nonchalantly, Karl asleep on the log next to him.

"Ay Big Q," Wilbur took his chin off of Niki's head. "You think you can play something other than mariachi music on that guitar?"

Quackity laughed sheepishly "Yeah. What do you want me to play?"

"Remember the song that I taught you?"

Quackity nodded, chuckling. "That slow one that's meant for the piano?"

"That one." Wilbur grinned, standing up excitedly with Niki's hand clasped in his.

"Wait- wait really? You're not shitting me?" Quackity turned the knobs in a rush, shaking his head incredulously.

"Just play the damn song." There was no poison in Wilbur's words, they flapped out of his mouth in a stupor as Niki followed him confusingly into the muddy grass, her shoes kicked off.

"Alrighty then-" Quackity strummed the wrong chords for a bit before finally settling on the right one, and it seemed to resonate in the air.

Niki recognized what it was.

"You're silly." She slapped his arm, smiling despite herself. He smiled back, the side of his face lit up in the moonlight.

"I'm sentimental."

He placed a hand gently on her hip, the other one hung loosely at their side, interlocked with hers.

"So I walk in the rain."

Niki giggled at his deep voice, and it stayed in her eyes as she let herself be led slowly in a circle, the grass tickling her toes.

"I've got some habits."

She leaned her head against his shoulder, faraway from the light of the campfire.

"Even I can't explain."

His arm left her hip, wrapping around her shoulders.

"Go to the corner, end up in Spain."

Her feet sunk into the earth each little step of their makeshift, messy, sloppy waltz. He leaned his cheek on her hair.

"Why try to change me now?"

"Remember the night we met?" Wilbur said in a hushed tone like he was trying not to disturb the moon. "At that show, that plaza I performed at? I saw you near one of those punch thingeys, and this song was playing."

I sit and daydream.

Niki nodded her head against the crook of his neck. "I remember."

I've got daydreams galore.

"Your friend spilled punch down her dress and had cussed so fucking loud the whole party could hear it." Niki let out a little peal of laughter, which made Wilbur smile. "What was her name again? Minx, was it?"

Cigarette ashes, there they go on the floor.

"Yeah." Niki pushed his shoulder playfully. "And you had to go early because you had to get Tommy to bed. The look on your face when he called you!"

Go away weekends, leave my keys at the door.

Wilbur laughed good naturally, his cheeks turning red at the memory. "That child is so ridiculous."

Why try to change me now?

"But you love him anyway." Niki looked up at Wilbur's shining face. It lit up the night sky. "You loved him then, and you love him so much now."

Why can't I be more conventional?

Wilbur placed his hand over hers. "I do."

People talk, and they stare

His smile lines slowly faded.

So I try

"I-" Wilbur gulped, his voice starting to choke up. "I don't want it to end. I don't want to let you and Tommy go- I-I don't want-"

But can't be

"Shh, shh you don't have to, it's ok." Niki hugged him tighter. "Everyone's alright. You don't have to do anything."

Because I can't see

"But it's selfish." Wilbur whispered, gripping Niki's hand tight like it might disappear. "I- I don't want to be selfish. I need-"

My strange little world

"You're not selfish. You're not." Wilbur wanted to cry at her pretty voice, like a song. "You're the opposite of selfish, Wilbur."

Just go passing me by.

"Me even being here is selfish." Wilbur blinked, and droplets of silver ran down his face. "Even calling you my best friend is selfish."

So let people wonder

"So what?" Niki raised a shaky smile at him. "You're my best friend. Nothing's gonna change that."

Let 'em laugh

"R- Remember-" The words were choked up and shaky in Wilbur's throat. "Remember when we met- I-I told you I liked this song because it reminded me of doomed, tragic things."

Let 'em frown

Only the moon was watching them, and Niki's 2 strands of blonde hair seemed to glow like a fairy, like something out of this world.

You know I'll love you

Innocence.

'Till the moon's upside down

"Are we tragic, Wilbur?"

Don't you remember?

They were jolted out of their daze by a crash.

I was always your clown.

Shouts ran through the forest, ones that didn't belong to Quackity or Karl. Something was smashed against a tree trunk.

Why try to change me now?

Niki's eyes widened. "Quackity! Karl!"

Wilbur ran to the glowing light in the distance, wood chips digging into the bottoms of his bare feet. They stopped behind a wide tree, Wilbur's hand holding Niki's nervously against the rough bark.

Punz poked his sword around the campsite. He regarded the remains of the sloppy cake with interest.

"It's just a lone picnic I set up for myself, sir. I swear!"

Karl smiled nervously, desperately trying to keep his body in front of a log. Quackity crouched behind it, cradling his guitar carefully. He met Niki's eye, raising a finger to his lips shakily.

"We count on your honesty, Karl." Wilbur tensed as he heard Schlatt's voice, and the man emerged from the forest. He stifled a burp, straightening his tie hastily as he reached out, taking some frosting from the cake and licking it off his finger. After a moment of consideration, he tipped over the cake tin. Karl flinched as the pink icing was smushed against the dirt.

"Are you being honest?"

"Y-Yes, sir." Karl's lip started to wobble as he stared at the cake longer.

Suddenly, Schlatt chuckled, patting Karl's shoulder. "Of course you're being honest! You're good ol' Karl, I would trust you with my life. You're one of our most responsible citizens."

Karl's smile spread across his face. "R-Really?"

"Of course! Your addition of Party Island greatly benefited our nation! We appreciate you." Wilbur's stomach sunk with guilt as he watched Karl's eyes brighten every time Schlatt patted him on the back. "We take you very seriously, Karl."

"Thank you, sir!" Karl was jumping for joy, and Schlatt grinned at him.

"Now, you have to promise me something." Karl nodded quickly as Schlatt leaned down, meeting his eyes. A whiff of alcohol hit his nose, and Karl tried to not scrunch up his nose in fear of being rude.

"Don't wander off without telling us, alright?" Schlatt's smile was caring, but his eyes were dangerous. They spooked Karl, and he shuffled back a bit. "We wouldn't want to lose our best citizen, would we? Wouldn't want you to meet Tubbo's fate."

Karl's face paled as he nodded slowly. "Y-Yes sir."

"Good." Schlatt pushed his shoulder away, and Karl stumbled back clumsily. "Clean this place up and get back to Manburg quickly. Remember what happens to people who disobey, Karl."

Karl gulped. Memories of death flashed through his head and his stomach jolted. "W- What happens to them?"

"Nothing good."

Niki felt Wilbur's hands shake with anger as Schlatt vanished back into the forest, stumbling along the way. Before she could stop him, he began to march away, his coat billowing behind him.

"Wilbur!" Niki met Karl's eyes with concern. "What are you doing?"

But Wilbur kept on marching, past the campfire, and into the forest.

"WILBUR!"

Niki darted after him, Karl and Quackity stumbling behind. "WILBUR STOP!"

Niki's bare feet dug into the mud. "WILBUR!"

Branches tore at the knees of her pants, and she was reminded of the night that Tommy had hidden in the forest, and she and Wilbur had gone looking for him.

Don't you remember?

"WILBUR! PLEASE!"

He had hidden in a hollow tree, the little gremlin. Wilbur had said he would build him a treehouse. One day.

One day.

"WILBUR!"

Wilbur was silhouetted against the lights of Manburg. He looked over the buildings, old and new.

He looked at what he did and what he couldn't do and it was a depressing comparison.

"WILBUR!"

Niki's feet skidded across the wet grass, and she saw the leader look over his country. His hands were in his pockets.

He turned around, and the sting from every teardrop was apparent on his face, and how much he had wept for the lights behind him would fill oceans.

I was always your clown.

"Wilbur.." she said quietly, weighed down by acceptance. "Don't do it."

"It's over, Niki." He smiled at her, sorrow panging his eyes. "It's over."

"You don't have to," Niki pleaded desperately. "We can still take it back, Will!"

"No, Niki. I should've known from the start. I should've known." Wilbur could feel his stomach being pummeled by guilt. "It's my fault. So I should be the one to pay for it."

"Please don't." Niki realized her arms were shaking then, and a wave of dread swept them up. "Please."

"I'm sorry."

Wilbur's breaths stuttered as his throat choked up. "I'm sorry for everything I did to you."

Why try to change me

"Will-"

"We had some laughs."

"I hope one day-" Wilbur's shoulders shuddered as he tried to smile at her, stepping towards the button room. "I hope one day you'll understand why."

"Wilbur-" He wouldn't do it, right? He couldn't... he couldn't do it.

And Niki watched as he turned his back to her, stepping into the hallway. He took a deep breath.

"I heard there was a special place."

Realization settled into her stomach.

"NO!" Fear clawed at her legs, and they felt like lead. "NO!"

The song symbolized the start, the day when Niki joined. He had sung it to them when she had joined, and they saluted, hands to the sky, hands on their hearts. It was the start of what was supposed to last, and what was supposed to give them time.

And now Wilbur was singing it again.

He was singing it at the end.

Why would you ever want to change me?

She could hear him smiling. "Where men could go and emancipate."

"Wilbur!" Quackity burst onto the scene, out of breath, his jacket ripped. "Stop!"

Another step down the narrow path.

"A very big and all blown up L'Manburg."

"Stop!"

Quackity lunged forward, grabbing his arm. Wilbur struggled against his hold.

"Get a hold of yourself man!" Quackity stepped on Wilbur's foot as he tried to shrug him off. "This is not the time!"

"Don't lie to me, Q." Quackity's heart dropped in his chest as Wilbur turned to look him in the eye.

It was a stare of a man whose world was against him.

"You want this too. You would love the chaos."

"Look, as much as I love a good explosion," Quackity steeled himself, forcing Wilbur to not break his gaze. "I've learned that Manburg means a lot to people. Expecially to you."

"You just said it." Quackity had to keep his feet planted as Wilbur started to struggled even more. "YOU JUST SAID IT! THIS IS NOT THE PLACE I BUILT! AND IT NEVER WILL BE AGAIN!" Wilbur's eyes simmered with tears.

"It's only getting worse from here."

He clutched the wall angrily. "Power will corrupt, and it will keep corrupting because everyone wants power. So just let me go, Q."

Wilbur stared at the end of the hallway wistfully, the song of his nation and the things that would destroy it just out of reach. "Let me end it. Let me rip the bandaid off."

"Wilbur, just give me a few more days. Please." Quackity tugged on his arm desperately. "I'll take care of it. We have the plan, remember? You said you'd trust Tommy. Let us handle it."

"I don't think it's going to go away even then, Q," Wilbur said softly, the ache ebbing even more. "It's not going away."

"Give us a few days, Wilbur."

"A few days." Wilbur let the breath exhale from his lungs, allowing Quackity to tug him away.

"Ok."

And even as Quackity led him away, and he closed his eyes, he knew that he was only delaying things.

Why couldn't he just let go?

He was upset with himself.

He was weak.

And he opened his eyes again, and Niki stood before him. Shock seem to pierce through her as Karl held her hand, keeping her up.

They stared at each other for a beat, and Niki could really see how far Wilbur had fallen, the disguise of the dark and love falling away. His hair was messy, ruffled, sleepless nights painting the every curve of his figure.

He grinned at her.

"You're my best friend."

And then he was led away by Quackity, back into the forest.

The illusion was shattered.

Why try to change me now?

---

As soon as Tommy closed the door to him and Tubbo's room, the door to the ravine swung open.

"TOMMY!"

Quackity lumbered down the steps, holding Wilbur's hands behind his back. They stopped in front of him, Wilbur's eyes sunken by the dark black marks under them. He blew a piece of brown hair out of of his eyes, grinning.

"Hey, Toms."

"He tried to push the button again." Quackity's eyes were steely, looking to Tommy for judgement.

"Wilbur.." Tommy suddenly felt winded, like somebody had knocked the wind out of him. His voice could barely get out.

"I thought you said that you were going to listen to me?"

"Poor Tommy." Wilbur reached out, placing his hand on Tommy's cheek. Tommy fought the urge to lean into the familiar touch. "You'll get power after this whole thing is done, I promise."

Tommy's hand reached up to touch Wilbur's, and Wilbur smiled brightened. But then Tommy pried his fingers from his cheek, and Wilbur's smile dropped again.

"Tommy," Quackity whispered hoarsely, leading him away from Wilbur. "We can't let him press that button. We need to lock him away somewhere or something because he's-"

"We are not locking up Wilbur, dickhead!" Tommy cradled his arms to his chest defensively, the warmth of Wilbur's hand still lingering on his cheek. "He's coming back around. We just need to get this plan through."

"Tommy, how can you-"

"HE'S COMING BACK AROUND!"

Quackity stumbled back at Tommy's sudden outburst.

Tommy sighed. "He'll get better. I know it. Let's just-" Tommy looked over at Wilbur aimlessly staring at a wall. "Let's do what the real Wilbur would've wanted us to do."

"How can you still trust him after all of this?" Quackity gestured at the ravine, at Tommy's own sunken eyes. "How can you still believe that?"

"Because I'm going to stick with that motherfucker through everything, and he would do the exact same for me."

Tommy looked down at his stomach, the dirty bandages still itching. "I know he would do the exact same for me."

"Jesus, Tommy grow up!" Tommy flinched as Quackity shouted. "Stop deluding yourself!"

"I'M NOT DELUDING MYSELF, DICKHEAD!" Tommy's eyes darted everywhere, trying to not meet Quackity's eyes.

"Let's just- let's just keep doing the plan." He pushed away from Quackity, heading over to Wilbur. Wilbur was safe. "Once we get L'Manburg back, this will all be over."

Safer.

No, he wasn't, Tommy just didn't want to face that he was dangerous.

"You talking about me over there, Toms?" Wilbur's arms and legs were shaking, and now Tommy could see how much he hid them. "You talking about me behind my back?"

"Why'd you do it?" Tommy suddenly was angry again. "You promised me!"

"Awww is little Tommy angry? I guess that's just in your character." Tommy recognized Wilbur's familiar smile. "Tommy, calm."

Tommy, calm.

Wilbur knew exactly how to break him down.

"You can't lock me up, Tommy." Wilbur placed a hand on his shoulder. "You need me."

"You wouldn't have anything without me."

"Stop, Wilbur." Tommy pushed Wilbur's hand off tiredly. "This isn't you."

"This is me, Tommy."

This is me, Tommy.

Tommy felt nausea climb up to his throat at the dredged up memory.

"It's inevitable, Tommy." Wilbur chuckled. "You know it's over."

Be strong, Tommy.

Be brave, Tommy.

He's brave, isn't he?

He gritted his teeth and carried on.

He wasn't the villain.

Wilbur walked away, and the ache in Tommy's stomach was even greater.

He worried about his friends.

And then he ran away so that no one could see him throw up.

Look at how brave he is!

Hero.

Make the right choices.

I'm just human?

---

Don't you remember?

Niki sat beneath the tree that Wilbur had sung her songs. It was big, rooted in the ground. It had survived Dream's explosion, it was a survivor.

Niki admired it, how it could stay rooted to one thing and hold on to it and never let it go.

The last true remnant of home.

Something to hold on to.

She plucked her guitar as the sun came up.

I was always your clown.

Tommy had said they were going to stick together, but she felt alone again.

She had belonged with Wilbur, but now he had shattered along with the illusion.

Why try to change me now?

"Niki?"

The strings vibrated with the last remnants of the song.

"H?"

A smile spread across his face. "Sorry I couldn't make it to your birthday party."

A small puppy bounded on top of her lap as HBomb sat down next to her. "Link says sorry too."

"Well, I accept your apology, Link." Niki felt a tired smile come to her lips as she scratched Link behind the ear.

"Do you accept mine?"

H looked hopefully at her, and Niki felt guilty.

"H, I-" She pet Link's head softly. "I'm sorry for making you choose. Between things. I shouldn't have done that."

"It's fine."

Eret's tower glinted as the sun began to shine through the tops of the buildings.

"It's rational."

"Besides," H had a pep in his voice that wasn't there before. "I'm not choosing anymore. I'm not choosing sides. I'm not attached to either, and frankly, I don't want to be."

Niki laughed sadly. "How do you do that?"

"I've had my fair share of wars and fighting." H's eye shimmered in the early light. He wasn't afraid of the daylight. "And I've spent so much time making people happy, I think it's time for me to be happy. I don't need to fight for things, I just want to live."

"But don't you want things? You can't just watch the world burn around you!" Link sensed Niki's agitation, so he climbed off her lap.

"If I fight, I'm just adding to the flames."

H stood up, smiling at the sun.

"I've lost everything already. I've realized I don't need anything else."

Link yipped happily as the night receded.

"Happy Birthday, Niki."

And then H walked off towards the setting sun, while Niki stayed in the shade of the tree.

Why try to change me now?