"We're here today with Penelope Prince, who's single Nutcracker just hit number one! Welcome, Penelope!"

"Hi, thanks for suggesting my manager send me here!"

"Let's talk about Nutcracker. You mention phrases like 'crack that boy in two' and 'hurt him like he hurt me'. What's this track about?"

"Funny story, it's not about anybody. It's kind of about men in general, how the media is constantly wanting me to fuck seventeen guys only to shame me for it. It's a vicious circle, so I made an angry feminist bop about it."

"That's inspirational. Let me just confirm something, is this the first interview you've done since your nude photos leaked?"

"Okay, can I say something?"

"Sure."

"When people say 'your' nude photos leaked, they're insinuating I took them. I didn't. My ex-boyfriend, who's still pretty salty about the breakup, took those photos. I remember looking at them and commenting how poppin' my pussy looked. So if you want somebody to blame over this whole thing, blame him. Though I don't know why you'd blame anybody, 'cause it's not like I'm ashamed of them. I've never been happier with my body. Let's talk about something else."

"Wow, okay. So how about you and Sebastian Stan? First, you two hated each other. Now it seems like you're in a relationship. What's going on?"

*incoherent mutters*

"I don't think the microphone picked that up, what did you say?"

"I said, I'm not in a relationship with Sebastian Stan. We've become close friends, nothing more. If it turns into a relationship, great. If it stays as a friendship, that's great too. Aren't I here to talk about my music, not my love life?"

"Yeah, right, sorry for getting off track. The word Hiraeth, what does that mean?"

"Hiraeth is a Welsh word, my friend Aura taught it to me 'cause she's half-Welsh. It's a word without a direct English translation that sort of describes that feeling of homesick, mixed with this longing and sadness that you get from thinking about the past for too long. I think it perfectly describes the tone of the album, because like Nutcracker, the songs are all haunting and spooky but also funky at the same time. I don't know. You'll know what I mean when you hear it."

"And are there any more songs like Nutcracker, songs about unidentified men?"

"Every single one of these songs is about my ass. Every single one. Thanks for your time."

"...That was Penelope Prince, ladies and gentlemen. Now, the first single from her debut album Hiraeth, here's Nutcracker!"