CHAPTER ONE;
nightmares

     JESSE WOKE UP with a shout, drowned out by the 80s music he'd accidentally left on overnight. He was coated in a layer of sweat, soaking his matted brown hair and the collar of the grey t-shirt he'd worn to bed the night before. Pale, chestnut eyes were filled to the brim with tears as he tried to steady his heavy, static breaths, equally matching his rapid heart rate.

Another nightmare, the boy thought as he ran his fingers through his messy, damp hair before wiping the beads of sweat that had collected on his forehead. It was the same every night, not one change.

Chrissy was there like always. Streetlights spilt an orange glow onto the pavement and an alone Christina Johnson, wheeling her silver bike beside her through puddles as she strolled home after staying late at the Wheeler's house. She'd called the home phone of the house Jesse had been partying at earlier, but it had been late enough in the evening that Jesse was so drunk that he can barely remember anything of substance from the phone call, only that Chrissy asked him to give her a ride home but he was unable to even walk straight by that stage of the night.

The dream was silent here, just a simple side view of a young eleven year old strolling home. The Johnson girl was so short that you can just about see her small shoulder over the handlebars and her chocolate hair had been so long that even when it was braided it fell below her waist. Her lips were always curled into a wide smile as she scanned her surroundings, as if she enjoyed and savoured each part of nature ever brought forward to her. For a moment it seemed so perfect, like maybe the dream would change, an alternative version of reality. She'd walked home peacefully, tuck herself into bed and fall into a deep slumber, engulfed by her own dreams.

But it doesn't.

Suddenly, everything moved in slow motion. Two bright pair of lights emerged from the corner, reflecting onto Chrissy's pale face. She hasn't noticed the rapidly speeding up car yet, her eyes more focused on the soft glow of the sparkling stars in the dark nightsky and her lips still gracing her mesmerised smile.

Then it changed, as if she finally heard something that Jesse couldn't, loud and frightening. Her smile disappeared faster than a speeding bullet, her face as white as snow and her dark eyes wide as they filled with terror. She looked exactly like a deer in the headlights, fragile and delicate before the dream snapped into a ferious speed.

Jesse couldn't comprehend what had happened until she been hit.

She's just lying there as the car reversed, looking dead already. But she's not. And what always made the dream worse, was that Jesse could feel Christina's pain. Each gut-wrenching hit that stung for a lifetime, each fearful attempt to gasp for air, each slowing heartbeat.

It was always the point where the dream finished that really hit Jesse with a ton of bricks. When the mysterious killer picked her up, light as a feather and her limbs sprawled out everywhere. He carried her towards the river, he can hear Christina calling out his name. So monotonously with only the slightest hint of emotion, as if his brain had remove how she felt in order to make him feel guiltier.

Shaking his head in order to forget the nightmare, Jesse subconsciously turned up his music to the point where it was bearably loud enough so he could focus on listening to Queen rather than his own thoughts. However, it only triggered the door to his room to be slammed open by an extremely tired — which meant an extremely ratty — Tiffany who waltzed straight into his bedroom without asking. ❝Hey! What the hell, Tiff—❞

❝Can you turn your music down, asshat!❞ She shouted back with a whine, already turning off the music despite the fact Jesse hadn't even answered her question.

Jumping off his bed, Jesse stood right in front of his younger sister, his height of five foot eight, meant he was towering over her adding to her intimidation tactic. He put the music up to full volume, making them both cringe but he kept his ground. ❝No, loser.❞

❝Turn it off!❞ She shouted once again, digging her heel harshly into Jesse's foot.

He groaned, his hands flying straight to raised foot which Tiff used as a perfect opportunity to turn the music down. ❝On.❞ He muttered through gritted teeth.

❝Off.❞

❝On!❞

❝Will you SHUT UP!❞ Leanne screamed as she marched straight into Jesse's room too without an introduction, pulling the plug so neither of the bickering siblings could fiddle over it. The oldest sister, glanced at Tiffany's wide smirk, believing that she'd won. ❝Both of you.❞ She scolded, wiping the smirk off her face as Leanne exited with a loud groan.

Despite stopping her antics, Tiffany still stayed in Jesse's room, staring a him with her head cocked slightly. The state wasn't rude or didn't display any type of anger considering their past bickering, the stare was solemn, paired with pinched eyebrows adding a source of curiosity in her. Like she was desperately trying to figure something that was taking years to do, and that something seemed to be Jesse.

Distancing himself seemed to be a coping strategy were the words his mother had once used at the dinner table one evening as an explanation to his sister when she persistently pestered Jesse on why he wasn't like he was before, talkative, joking and overall close to everyone in the family. He had obviously ignored her and his mother when she spoke said words which then Tiffany had added that he was distancing himself right then and there.

It looked selfish, he knew that and he was ashamed to admit it was almost true. But he was the reason Christina Johnson was dead, it was his fault and he knew that clearer than anything. So why would Jesse let his sisters get close to him when he was the real danger.

He would always protect them, look over them from arms length but he just couldn't risk it, he just couldn't risk another Johnson girl losing their life.

For a moment, his eyes met his younger sister's, that stare still evidently there and he almost caved, contemplating telling her that 'Hey I am still here and I do still love you but it's hard because I feel like a fucking hazard to everyone and anyone because I basically killed your twin and my younger sister and I hate myself more than you could and I'm so sorry for just being an overall shitty asshole of a brother over the last nine months.'

He doesn't say that.

❝Well it's over now. So, get out.❞ Were the only word Jesse could let out of his parted lips.

Tiffany rolled her eyes, her stare morphing into one of anger but it was barely enough to show that she was quite clearly hurt by Jesse's aggravated command. ❝Your such an asshole nowadays.❞

AUTHOR'S NOTE
finally    i  got     the  first
chapter      up         yay  !!
jesse's              emotional
issues      actually   make
me    so         emo       like
pROTECT  at   all costs.
&&  heather     isn't    in
this   one  but    she  will
most    definitely  be   in
the      next            one  !!