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1:35 ───ㅇ───── 3:47







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Blame Chris for me not being able to update guys :((/jay

I'm sorry this was really overdue.




'*lamb*'

That word echoed in your head, as you suddenly sat up, panting as you glanced around the room. Shit. Did you fall asleep?

God, you groaned as you rubbed your head. "What the hell was that dream even about..."

You've been getting a bunch of those strange dreams lately. Almost always in Eden, which was strange because you've never been there. But why did its surroundings feel so familiar?

You glanced at the foot of your bed and saw Shelly, the blue puppy eyes staring up at you with concern.

You snorted, petting his soft fur, "I'm fine Skelly.." you said softly. The puppy's tail began to wag enthusiastically as he barked in response.

"Mostly anyways..." you added, quietly. Your thoughts still lingered on the marriage proposal. Your mouth suddenly tastes bitter, like you had doused an entire jug of extremely sour lemonade.

You were still pissed off and rightfully so. Having your entire life signed away by your sisters wasn't on his bucket list.

Your life has always been assigned to you; what you'd do, what you'd wear. Etc. you had hoped Sara would have the decency to allow you to decide who and when you'd marry. But you supposed you were being foolish to think so.

A sudden knock at the door snapped you out of your thoughts. You groaned, you really didn't want to see anyone right now. But you knew better than to ignore whoever was at the door.

Sluggishly, you sat up from your bed and begrudgingly made your way to the door. You took in a deep breath, before opening the door.

Your smile immediately dropped as you realized who it was.

"Hey babe" Adam's infuriating voice called out as he leaned against the doorframe; behind him you could see Lute standing there, looking just as unamused as you did.

"So like-" Before he could even finish you slammed the door in his face, or at least tried too.

Adam seemed to expect this, as he propped his foot in the gap of the door before you could fully shut it. He let out a yell of pain, " fuck!" He growled out.

Lute quickly rushed over to her boss, "Sir, are you okay?" She asked, with genuine concern.

"Of course I'm not!" He spat, shooting a glare at the female. "Anyways..." he said, his voice slightly strained from the pain. "We really really need to talk, and I'm not taking no for an answer so get your gay ass out here."

Your eyes narrowed at him, as you continued to try and slam the door shut; purposely using more force this time.

"OW! YOU FUCKING BI-"

You slammed the door again.

"FUCK! STOP IT!"

And again.

"YOUR MAJESTY!" Lute yelled, desperately trying to get you to stop before you crush Adam's foot until it's flatter than flat Stanley.

You did it again.

"I'll talk with you once you ask me nicely."

"What the hell?- no-"

You slammed the door again.

"FUCK OKAY-" he wheezed out. "Please...." he said quietly.

You rose a brow, "sorry what was that?" You asked mockingly, "I can't really hear you."

"I said..could you remove the door off my foot.." he grumbled. You remained silent, that wasn't good enough.

"Please..." he whimpered out, quietly. You heard Lute stifle a laugh from beside him. A smile made its way onto your face as you opened the door.

"Why of course, now what did you want to talk about..." it was amusing to have Adam beg you. You weren't a sadist but it was funny to have a man so narcissistic look up at you with big puppy dog eyes.

You hoped this wasn't a fetish a thing and just you having some weird psychological thing. You are not a sadist.

While Adam tried to regain his composure, Lute decided to speak on his behalf. "Well..." she began. "We're here to ask you to accompany us to a meeting." You crossed your arms, quirking a brow. You were kinda intrigued about what this meeting is about.

"What's this meeting about?" You questioned, one of your ears flicking as you spoke.

Lute glanced at Adam, who was still recovering from the pain. She watched as he gave her a shaky thumbs up, giving her the go ahead. She sighed, her gaze drifting back to you. "We're having a meeting with the princess of hell about the...exterminations" she explained.

"Oh.." was all you could muster up to say, but your interest was piqued. You were aware about the exterminations, Sara had told you years ago. You didn't know why she told you specifically. But she did. She asked you to not say a word to anyone else about it, and you didn't.

As much as Sara pissed you off sometimes, especially considering your current situation. You never thought even once to spill out the little secret she told you. You thought it was fucked up, you couldn't lie. You still do, but you were so caught up in your heavenly duties, you had forgotten about them.

A sense of guilt began to wash over you, you really didn't do much to convince sera and Adam to not go through with them. You tried a few times and then just... gave up, you could've tried harder. Sure they probably wouldn't have listened, but at least you'd know you did everything you could.

Lute seemed to notice your silence, and awkwardly adjusted her uniform sleeves. "Look.." she said. "If..if you don't want to come; that's fine..I'm sure Adam would throw a fit. But I'm sure he'd calm down after I take him to the new smoothie place that opened up." She suggested, her voice slightly cracking. You could tell she wasn't really sure what to do. But you appreciated her consideration to ensure that you were comfortable.

"No, it's fine..I'll go." You replied softly.

"You will?" Her eyebrows rose in surprise. Adam, who had finally recovered, seemed just as surprised as she was.

"Yeah..uh...I don't know..could be interesting I guess.." you shrugged, hoping to not sound too awkward.

"Fuck yes!" Adam cheered, suddenly wrapping an arm around your neck and pulling you closer. "Alright and after we talk to this bitch, we can do some actual fun shit" he suggested.

You couldn't help but crack a small smile as Adam went on and on about some plans he had for you and him. Your gaze slowly drifted to Lute, she seemed to notice your gaze, and quickly looked away.

You snorted at her awkwardness, as you turned your attention back to Adam.

Maybe, a meeting with the princess is what you needed to find out what you were meant to do in this life. You might even go to hell on official business, and not just you fucking around with portals.





You took back what you said, this was significantly less cool than you thought.

You, Adam, and Lute were sitting in one of Heaven's multiple meeting rooms. As you waited for the princess to arrive. Oh yeah, and Adam was eating some spare ribs. He offered you some which you declined.

Apparently, neither of them had the decency to actually go to hell and speak with Charlie face to face. So you'd just have your holograms in the meeting room instead. Which as much as you wanted to curse them out for being disrespectful, you knew you had know place to speak. With all the times you've snook down to hell, you've seen Charlie's face multiple times and yet you've never taken time out of your day to actually go see her.

You shrunk back in your seat, glancing at Adam who sat at the head of the table. "Can't we-"

"Shh, hot stuff I hear footsteps." He raised up his hand to silence you, causing you to frown.

You furrowed your brows as you watched Lute turn off the lights in the Hell meeting room, you saw no point in needing to spook her but you did little to stop them.

You glanced over at the doors direction as you heard it open and a familiar voice called out.

"Uh hello?" You watched the blonde demon step into the dark room, glancing around her surroundings. "Is anyone...here?"

The lights suddenly turned on, "Sup" he said. Charlie, clearly not expecting this, jolted as she tripped over her own feet.

"Oh shit-" you heard her say, your eyes widening as you tilted your head to make sure she was okay.

Her head then popped up from the other end of the table, her bangs ruffled and now covering her right eye. You snickered a bit as she greeted the three of you.

She quickly stood up and fixed her hair, "oh hi! I'm Charlie, my dad asked me if I could meet you" she smiled.

You found yourself frowning at Adam's dismissive response. Your gaze shifting over to Charlie once more.

"Okay well it's nice to meet you.." she said as she furrowed her brows, clearly looking awkward. As she reached out her hand for Adam to shake.

"Totally, nice to meet you too.." Adam leaned forward to shake her hand, you frowned clearly knowing where this was going.

Charlie's hand phased through Adam's hand, causing her to retract it almost immediately, her eyes wide. "Oooh!"

You rolled your eyes as you watched Adam cackle about how ' he got her'. "Did ya see that?" He leaned his head over to you.

You shook your head, your gaze falling back on Charlie. "Sorry about him.." you said, causing her to snap out of daze. "He peaked in high school, which is ironic because he didn't even go to one." You scoffed. "Charlie right?" You asked, "I'm Y/n"

Charlie's smile returned at your warm welcome, "nice to meet you too Y/n" she replied. She held her hand out again, on instinct.

You laughed softly, "sorry..I'm a hologram too" , your voice sounding apologetic. "But if I wasn't I'd shake your hand.."

Charlie nodded, laughing nervously. "Oh right! Sorry..". Her eyes suddenly went wide as she processed your words. "Wait..hologram? So you guys aren't here?" She asked.

You went to reply but were cut off by Adam, "um no. You'd think we'd come down there-" you rose a brow at his usage of 'we'. The exterminator laughed as he continued. "No, I mean I love the vibe. Love your tunes." He pointed at the female demon, as he leaned in closer. "Pretty fucking hardcore, don't get me wrong"

He leaned back as he pressed his cheek against the cold marble table. "But it's SUCH a bummer"

"Ugh, you rolled your eyes at his behavior. Why did he always have to act like such a child all the time? You watched as he went on for a few more seconds before Charlie responded.

"Right..." she replied, voice slightly strained. You don't blame her for being irritated. Before she jumped right back into her bubbly self again, "So! I'm glad we got this opportunity to meet! There's a project I've been working on. That I Really-" she leaned in closer, to enunciate her enthusiasm.

Adam cut her off, placing his pointer finger against her lips to silence her. "Hey hey hey..slow down-" he says. "We got time..how about we get to know each other first? How about some lunch hmm? You hungry?" He offered.

"I got you" He handed out the plate of ribs, "here's my personal favorite I got you."

"Uh thanks.." Charlie said as she reached down to grab one.

"Charlie wait-" you went to stop her, but it was too late, her hand phased through the plate. Causing Adam to burst into a fit of laughter once more.

You and Charlie shared similar unamused looks. "I got you again BITCH!" Adam cackled. "Fuckin hilarious"

You had enough, and yanked Adam back by his collar. Causing him to yelp, "babe what the hell?"

"Can you stop acting like you just crawled out of a cheesy 80s movie and act like an adult." You spat, causing him to roll his eyes.

"I'm just having fun.." he grumbled, like a child.

You raised a brow, "we came here for a meeting, that's why we're in a meeting room..y'know to discuss things.." you said, crossing your arms.

"And we will just chillax lamb chop~" he teased, patting your head as he wiggled out of your grip.

'*lamb chop?*' you thought. '*that's a new one'



You don't know how long it's been, but it's been at least an hour or Adam blabbering about some stupid shit no one but him would care about.

You and Charlie sat there completely bored out of your minds. You had your cheek pressed against the table, while Charlie had her head in her hand while you both listened to the angel.

"So I was playing this gig, and this virtue chick was digging on the drummer. And it's like, 'do you KNOW who I am? I'm Adam" he stood up from his seat, as he pointed down to his pelvis. "I'm the original dick! All dicks descend from me! You think you want drummer dick? He'll no!-" Lute shook her head in agreement with Adam.

You and Charlie shared a look, as he continued.

"I'm the dick fucking master-" he took a bite of a rib as he finished. "Anyways..then we fucked..it was awesome. What'd you do this weekend?"

Charlie's eyes went wide as she suddenly realized something. "Wait- your name is Adam? Like the first man Adam? That means you-" she cut herself off as she leaned back. "Ohhhh, that explains so much..." she whispered.

You laughed at her expression, "you're telling me.." you said in agreement. Causing Adam to shoot a glare at you, "hey, you better get used to it, lamb chop." He said, "cause you're getting married to all of this-" he ran his hands down his body to make his point clear.

"Eugh..." you groaned, rolling his eyes.

"Woah- you're marrying him..?" Charlie butted in, her eyes wide.

"Yep, he is." Adam said, boastfully. "The original dick and the Prince of heaven getting tied down to each other." He adds. "It's perfect, I do deserve the best."

"Prince?" She glanced over at you in confusion. "But..I thought the Prince's name was el-" she suddenly shook her head. "Wait nevermind i'm getting side tracked"

You blinked, wondering what she was going to say? El- what? Your name's y/n, it's always been y/n. You shook your head, she's probably just remembering some things wrong.

"Well Adam sir..Mr. Adam sir" she began, standing up from her spot.

"Call me Dickmaster"

"Adam.." she said with a deadpan expression.

"You seem like a smart- we'll stand up guy!-" she began to walk closer towards him.

You crossed your arms, as you watched Adam respond once more with uninterest. You did a hand motion to urge her to keep going, which she smiled at.

"And I know you are the leader of the angels. and you're a big thinker! A revolutionary! A-A genius!"she threw her arms in her air.

"I mean your words, babe" responded Adam, as he grabbed another rib.

"Who would really love to put his name on something-"

"I love putting my name on shit! Shits the best!" He exclaimed, slamming his hands down on the table which caused you to jolt upward.

"It's the solution to our biggest problem!!!" She smiled.

"Oh herpes?" Adam sighed, "yeah that's a bitch..".

"What?" You replied, clearly confused as to how that was the first thing he thought about.

"No! Our-" she fiddled with her fingers nervously. "Our other biggest problem!"

"Oh uh..ugly people?" He asked.

"Dude–" you interrupted, clearly irritated.

"Well you don't have to worry about that, you're the hottest piece of ass in heaven.." he winked, in your direction. Which unfortunately, caused you to blush a little, clearly embarrassed he said that right in front of Charlie.

Adam went back to guessing "Math? Global warming? Oh no wait, that's earths problem um-"






It's been 30 minutes, and Adam still hasn't figured out what Charlie meant. All three of you sat around the table once more, Charlie clearly exhausted, with her head in her palms. While you sat there, arms crossed, as your left eye twitched as Adam kept going.

"And when you take her out for the fifth time and she still expects you to pay the check" Charlie looked just about done, as she cradled her head in her hands. " hey I thought you wanted equality" Adam finished, raising his voice.

"NO!" Charlie groaned out, "our shared problem of overpopulation in hell"

"Ohhhh.." Adam says, ignoring the glare you were giving him. " Well that's not a problem! We got that covered." He turned to face Lute. "Lute, how many demons did you kill this year?" He asked. The said angel, stepping forward as she was addressed.

"Got a good 275 this year, sir" she answered.

"275!?" Woah! Badass! Awesome job, Danger tits. Pound it" he held out his fist for a fist bump, which Lute returned. You shook your head at their behavior.

"Uh no! Not awesome. Those are my people" she placed her hands on the cold surface of the table. "You do know that right?"

"Oh yeah..." he fakes concern. "That must suck for you pfft- HAHAHA-" he laughed.

"ADAM!" You yelled at him, causing him to stop momentarily. Looking at you with genuine confusion.

"What?"

"But..these are souls...human souls" Charlie spoke, her smile turning into a frown. "Just the same as the ones that you have in heaven"

"They are not the same." Lute spoke up. Your eyes drifting to the female exterminator. "They had their chance and they earned damnation" she said, her voice lacking any sympathy.

"You're wrong," Charlie shook her head. "Sinners make mistakes, sure. But everyone makes mistakes .." you glanced awkwardly to the side, lord knows you have.

"Angels don't make mistakes." Lute retorted.

"You really think that?" Charlie narrowed her eyes. The exterminator copied her motion.

"I know that."

"Yeah" Adam interrupted, "I've never made a mistake in my fucking life". You shot him another glare, which he caught. "Why are you looking at me like that?"

"The only reason you're still here-" lute made her way over to where Charlie sat. Her arms resting behind her back. "Is because daddy gave you and your hellborn kind from an exorcist blade." She leaned in closer to the demon, "how does that feel?" She moved to the other side of Charlie's chair. " to know how little you matter."

Your eyes widened at her cruelty, you had known Lute's distaste for demons . But you've never seen it in realtime before. Charlie shrunk back at her words, hurt clearly flashing across her face.

You frowned, giving her a sympathetic look. "Ooops~" Adam stretches back in his seat. "Almost out of time,guess we should get into it.."

"You do realize this meeting woulda been shorter if you woulda just let her start off with it" you shook your head. Adam only shrugged in response.

"Oh! Charlie perks up. "Fuck!" She practically leaped out of her chair as she rushed over to the closest seat to Adam.

"Oop- I got a lot to get through and not a lot of time, and I feel like you weren't hearing me before so here it goes ahem" she grabbed the pile of papers she brought and began.

"So hell's population is out of control" she showed a silly drawing she did of multiple sinners in hell. She ripped it off to reveal a new drawing of even more stickman sinners. " It's a bad situation, it's taking a toll," she gestured to her drawing. "If we rehab these sinners, and cleanse all their souls-" she threw the drawing aside to reveal the 'Hazbin Hotel' with a rainbow and various hearts around it. "At my Hazbin Hotel-" she rummaged through the other piles of papers. "Wait- I'm getting ahead of myself-"

She reached for another drawing of exterminators killing demons. "Right exterminations."

Adam and Lute shared a skeptical look meanwhile you bobbed your head to the tune of Charlie's singing.

"I know you guys fly down just to kill once a year and it must be annoying to schlep all the way here" she made a gesture with her fingers to signify the distance. "If they join you in heaven that trip disappears!" She threw both of her drawings over your heads, a rainbow and sparkles suddenly appearing between them. A sparkle landed on your nose causing you to sneeze.

"You can wave that chore farewell!" She let out a gasp. "It'll be a happy day in he-" she reached above her head to show off her final drawing of angels and demons holding hands under a rainbow.

"Let me stop you right there" Adam raised his hand, to cut her off. You could hear Charlie let out a quiet 'oh'. "Save us all precious time" he continued.

"Okay.." Charlie says, holding her drawings close to her chest as she glanced at him nervously.

"If what you're suggesting" he placed his hands under his head, before he made a motion with his fingers of climbing. "Is letting them climb up the ladder, oh they'd rather cross the pearly gates?"

"Well I-"

"Sorry sweetie, but there's no defying their fate-" Adam suddenly flew and landed on top of the table, causing it to shake slightly. You stepped back in surprise, as you glanced up at your fiancΓ©.

"Cause hell is forever, whether you like it or not" He crossed his arms as he stared down at Charlie. You narrowed your eyes as you heard the condescension in his tone.

"Had their chance to behave better, now they boil in a pot." You scowled at his words as he continued. "Cause the rules are black and white. There's no use in trying to fight it. Their burning for their lives until we kill em again!"

Charlie clenched the drawings in her hands as she went to speak up again, but was cut off once more.

"Just try to chillax babe." He placed his hands under his chin once more, as his voice dripped with mock gentleness. "You're wasting your breath."

"Haha.." Charlie laughed dryly, only to nearly fall back as Adam leaned forward. "Did I hear you imply that they don't deserve death?!"

Charlie stepped back as Adam and Lute stepped forward, you hesitantly followed after them as you bit your lip. Not really knowing what to do.

"Are they winners? Are they sinners? Cuz it's cut and dry-"

"Well actually if you take a look at the-" she tried to speak once more.

"Fair is fair, an eye for an eye" Adam suddenly launched into the air, his wings creating a few dust clouds.

"And when all said in done" Adam sang, his golden wings outstretched as the 'sun' shone behind him. Charlie narrowed her eyes as she looked up at him.

"Theirs the question of fun" he clasped his hands before he used the clouds as steps as he made his way back to the ground. "And For those of us with Divine Ordainment. Extermination is entertainment!" Him and Lute flew up into the sky, as Adam continued his singing "Bow-now-now-nownow. Guitar solo, fuck yeah!" He began to play air guitar, as lute danced behind him. You and Charlie stood there watching them both with similar expressions.

"Oh, da-ah-ah now-now-n-now-n-now-n-now-n-nownownow" Adam floated down and landed on the table again. "Hell is forever whether you like it or not" he began to clap on beat, as suddenly golden holograms of other exterminators appeared and began to clap along with Adam as they surrounded the princess. "Hell is forever whether you like or not"

"Where did all of you people come from?" She stammered as she backed up against the door.

"Had their chance to behave better now they boil in a pot. Cause the rules are black and white-" they all leaned in closer to Charlie, as they completely surrounded her. You hesitantly stepped forward concern knitting your brows as you tried to get a better look at the demon.

"There's no use in trying to fight it," Adam and lute did a fist bump "their burning for their lives until we kill them again." Suddenly in a gust of golden magic, Adam summoned his electric guitar. "Fuckin hell is forever and it's meant to suck a lot" as he played the guitar, the golden exterminators lost interest in Charlie as they flew up to join him.

"So give up your dumb endeavor. 'cause you don't have a shot!" Your eyes flickered to Charlie flinching as you watched her irritation grow. Her hair floating upwards as her horns began to grow, her eyes glowing a vibrant red. "Ughhh." You heard her groan.

" long as I got your attention, I should probably mention." You yelped, as one of the exterminators grabbed your wrist and forced you to fly up with the others. "That we made the determination" you watched as Adam made his guitar disappear, only for him to replace it with a golden scroll.

"To move up the next extermination!" He leaned forward and revealed the scroll, showing her it read 'I do what I fucking want'. Your eyes widened at this, you weren't made aware of this, and Charlie was just as shocked as you were.

"What-?" She tried to reach up to grab the scroll. "Can't wait a whole year to slaughter those little cunts-" he suddenly 'grabbed' Charlie's wrist. "It's only been a week, but we'll be back in SIX MONTHS!" He then threw her and her drawings out of the meeting room.

You gasped, flying down as you tried to worm your way past Adam, but he took this the wrong way as he used his wing to push you closer to him, in an embrace as he finished his guitar riff.

You watched as Charlie desperately called out for him to wait, as the door shut on her.




As Adam finished his riff, the guitar disappeared.

You had enough, "what the hell was that?!" You spat angrily, causing him to raise a brow. "What? That sickass guitar solo? Did it get you creaming in your shorts? Because that was the point"

"No!" You growled. "You just- you just threw her out!" You gestured to the door. "You barely let her speak, you wasted half of this meeting on random bullshit no one but you cares about!"

Adam narrowed his eyes, "Sorry, I think my ears must be ringing cause it sounds like you're bitching to me about treating a demon like a demon." He sassed, crossing his arms.

Your hands clenched into fists, "if you were just going to tell her that you were going to kill her people in six months then why did you waste this time and give her false hope?"

"I didn't do anything.." he shrugged. "It's not my fault that dumb bimbo thought I'd actually listen to her."

You wanted to rip your hair out, "god! You're such a dick Adam!"

"Thanks, I am the original after all. I'm sorry I'm not a pansy and didn't lie to her face, lying is a demon's job. Look, I don't get why you're so upset . I told her how it is."

You growled, he just wasn't getting it. You were sure he'd never will. "Fuck you." You spat.

"That's what I'm trying to get you do, babes"

"Ugh! I'm done here, if you need me. You can go to sera since my opinion clearly doesn't matter to you anyways..." you grumbled as you exited the meeting room.




As you made your way back to your room, your eyes glanced up at one of the stained glass windows on the wall, it was of heaven and hell. The window depicted the vibrancy and holiness of heaven as the angels sent Lilith and Lucifer down to hell; while hell was painted grimly and monstrously dark as possible.

You sighed, you recognized a figure, stopping in front of the window. You gently reached up to caress Lucifer's face, before you glanced at Lilith. You felt a sudden pull to two figures, you didn't know why.

"What secrets are they hiding from me?" You asked no one in particular. "Why do I feel like I know you."

Erm pretend like I haven't been edging yall for 4 months for this chapter shhhhhhhh. Make sure to theorize in the comments I love when yall do <33 also make sure to join my discord. Kay thanks bbgs

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