A Couple Year Ago

Odin had just finished telling Loki, Thor, Frigga, and I who would be the future King of Asgard and that the date was set for the coronation and proposal. I'm not sure why we had to take away training time for this, we all know who would get chosen; the brother who's been the chosen one his whole life. But still, even with that knowledge Loki was upset and stormed off.

"Maybe I should-" Frigga starts off.

"Leave him," Odin orders, "We have matters to discuss," He holds out his hand for his wife. She takes a glance in the direction Loki ran off, then takes Odin's hand leaving just Thor and I.

"Well we all knew this day would come," Thor boasts proudly.

"Hmmm," I absentmindedly agree, staring off where Frigga did.

"Come on, aren't you excited?" Thor throws his muscular arm around me.

"I mean, I've known that I'm becoming Queen, so no news to me," I simply put.

"I meant for me," Thor chuckles. Right.

"Yes, that's great, congratulations," I decide it's better to just feed his ego than to bruise it. "I'm going to go find Loki, see how he's doing." I pat his back and separate.

He rolls his eyes, "Loki's fine. He's throwing a tantrum like he always does, let's go get ready for the party they're throwing for us!" Thor dismisses.

I hold back my huff and remark, Thor's mind only goes so far beyond himself. It's not his fault. That's how Odin raised him.

"I'll catch up with you," I force a smile and it satisfies him enough he takes off.

I go to Loki's room to find him angrily throwing things around. He throws a book at the door as I step in. I catch it before it hits my face.

"Ebony," He notices me, "I'm sorry, I didn't know you were here," He quickly turns away so I can't see he's been crying, but I could tell. His face was wet and blotchy and his tone was softer than usual.

"I came to see how you were doing," I step over all the broken pieces of things on the floor as I make my way over to him. "I'm sorry you're not getting the throne."

He snaps his head to me, "You think that's what this is about?"

I furrow my brows, "Isn't it?"

He swallows, "It's more than that." Why is he always so vague?

"So then tell me." Nothing. "Loki, I came here to help you."

"I don't want your help. Why don't you just go run along with your new King," He spits out.

And this is why I never try to help anyone. 

I smirk, "Fine by me, enjoy being alone like always." I don't need this. I don't need to feel guilty for something I didn't even do. I don't need to help Loki when he's never wanted it a day in his life.

"Wait-" He stops me when I reach the door. "I- I'm-" He tries to find the right words. That's a first, Loki not knowing what to say.

"Get it out or I'm leaving. I have a party to get ready for anyways, and so do you." I've run out of already thin patience.

"I never wanted the throne..." He sighs, taking a seat on the edge of his bed. "I just wanted to be treated the same, to be Thor's equal. To have our father, just once! look at me like he does Thor."

I look to the ground. This is a subject I've never had to deal with like they have, the sibling battle, the constant need to out-do the other, to prove you're the superior sibling. And that's why I've never understood it. I've tried, believe me, I've tried to see the appeal, but no matter, it always been that I always won. I've never had to fight to prove anything about me, because it's always been clear I was the best, the winner. Maybe that's why I have no friends other than Thor and Loki. I look down on everyone else, not even meaning to, I just know they aren't on my level. The only person I've ever "competed" with is Thor. That's why we got along so well, we were each other's only real equal, no one ever came close enough to touching us. But now looking at Loki, broken, and hearing him admit what I always knew, I wonder if Thor and I are really that much different? I mean other than me carrying my pride and power with more elegance, am I really any better? I'm still arrogant, I'm still self-absorbed. I never thought if we were the same because I saw no need to say it all the time because it was a given. I never had someone by my side, to share my blood, around my age, that I felt threatened by and the need to make myself feel good like Thor.

But that is not all of it. And I know it's not.

"There's more." I finally speak again. "You're leaving something out, why?"

Because even when Loki has always known Thor is stronger and born to be King, he still held this resentment towards him, this powerful negativity I could never quite put my finger on.

"There's nothing else." He speaks so softly, as if the wind whispered it.

My eyes slit into his. "You're lying."

"It doesn't matter!" Loki raises his voice.

"If it doesn't matter then why are you lying!" I shout back. I can tell- feel it. One of my many gifts, that most of time feel like a burden. A curse. Growing up I learned the hard way that sometimes the truth hurts way more than a lie.

"Let it go."

"No." He started this mess by running off, now the least he can do is explain why. "Why aren't you happy for Thor? Hmm? I mean come on Loki, don't kid yourself!" I scoff, fed up with his childish antics and anger. "It's been obvious since we were young that it most likely wasn't going to be you!"

But people need to hear the truth. Even if it hurts.

"Enough!"

I hate being lied to. And having things kept from me.

"You're the one who made a grand exit to throw a fit. 'Oh look it at me I'm Loki and I never get my way-'" I utilize the astrayed objects on the floor and throw them around mocking him. He storms over to me. Maybe I push things and people to far. "And I-" am cut off by lips crashing onto mine.

And suddenly my argument ceases to exist. All the thoughts circling my head are gone. It's like I'm detached from my body, and my brain is floating in a drunken fountain of wine.

I've had to go on dates with Thor. He always made them fun, and they were. We laughed, we argued, we did it all. We even tried kissing, and it was good, exactly how my mother described being with my father. Yet all of that was nothing how I feel right now in this moment with Loki.

He pulls away, chest heaving up and down as his eyes bore into mine. "You. You were the one thing I was hoping Thor wouldn't win."