TW: mention of suicidal thoughts, suicide, panic attacks, cheating, bullying and funeral

Deku ran. He ran trying to escape from what had happened, from his conscience, from the thoughts he was having, from the tears that poured copiously down his face. Activating the quirk, he got hurt, stumbled several times, but nothing could help him escape from his mind, escape from the memory of what he saw. "Why? Why? Why?" it was a loop in his head. "Why is it never enough? Why am I so replaceable? Why do I keep trying? Why am I so pathetic? Why am I not dead yet? Why do I never listen to Kacchan? Why did I really think I could do it? Why did I allow myself to be happy? Why do I always have to suffer? Why me?" And, continuing to run, the tears continued to fall, more and more, more and more quickly, more and more interminable. His pain however didn't seem to stop, if anything thinking made it worse.

It started raining and he had to seek refuge in a park, under a small canopy. And, even there, the tears showed no signs of stopping. And he kept getting sick, crying, curled up on himself and... He got a panic attack for his whole situation. He saw everything black, he began to stop breathing, his thoughts became heavy, the sensations a distant memory.

He probably fainted, and woke up with his face wet with tears, on a hard floor, with the rain that had just stopped, but his crying did not. How could that pain ever stop? He would certainly never get over it. He saw a bridge. An unhealthy idea. An irreversible action, which he had already considered before but never actually did.

He slowly got to the bridge. The gentle light of dawn, that just arrived, illuminated his face, and his hair, those hair who were often compared to a bush. Around him, the silence of that hour of the morning, where everyone sleeps or tries. He got on it, looked down, and jumped. His hair was ruffled by the wind, a smile on his face as he awaited death, which he himself was embracing even though he had feared it before.

As he fell, towards death, or at least what would probably be his death, he felt many things. Perhaps there was also repentance for what he had just done. But he couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't take anymore of Todoroki who betrayed him, of his classmates who bullied him, of the teachers who did nothing for him, of his mother with more and more worries and dark circles, of the study, of the scoldings, of the glances they threw at him, of his few friends who could find better, and of the fear that they actually did and they left him alone again, and as always. Deku might be a hero in-training, but he remained a boy. He remained a boy who needed support and affection. He remained a boy who pretended to smile for the pleasure of others. He remained a boy who saw his mother increasingly worried about him. He remained a boy who was afraid of abandonment. He remained a person who, after giving all of himself to someone else, had heard that it was not enough. After giving everything he still had to feel guilty, and the worst of it was that it wasn't strange to him. He gave, he continued to give, but it was not enough for anyone. It is never enough. And after having given all of himself nothing remained, and nothing must be reborn in order to be something again. "Not everyone is born equal. And I have decided to be reborn" was Izuku 'Deku' Midoriya's last thought. And so he was reborn, while death welcomed him, and two black wings and a halo sprouted from his soul.

There was a great funeral, which was attended by many. And the emotion that united them all was remorse. Because Izuku Midoriya was loved, but he didn't know it. He was loved by those who mocked him for their stupid jealousy, by those who did not feel enough and insulted him. He was loved by those who just looked without helping, because he was the hope, and they knew, or they hoped that he would get up on his own. He was loved by the villains who respected him even if they were facing him. He was loved by all as a beacon of hope, happiness, goodness. Todoroki by betraying him had overflowed the camel's back, and now they were all paying the price. Midoriya would always be inside their heart, like a lonely void, which cannot be filled. Because he was loved, but no one ever told him, and that is not taken for granted.

A/N this was more me venting but who cares. If you're experimenting this my DMs are open, but I know that venting is difficult, so just find a healthy way to cope with it. I usually write it down. Drink water, sleep enough and take care of yourselves if you like the ff. Stay safe. I love you and I'm proud of you, so leave all the people that say the contrary. Bye~