𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 : 𝐅𝐮𝐫𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬 𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐥𝐮𝐝𝐞 𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐦. 𝐏𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐬𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐨𝐧𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮'𝐫𝐞 𝟏𝟖+ 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧'𝐭 𝐭𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐠𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐚 𝐨𝐟 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬. 𝐑𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐦𝐛𝐞𝐫, 𝐬𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐛𝐞 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞. 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐬 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐨. 𝐈𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐤𝐧𝐨𝐰 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐬𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞, 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐍𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐒𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐏𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐋𝐢𝐟𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐞, 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐬𝐩𝐞𝐚𝐤 𝐭𝐨 𝐚 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐫. 

𝐈𝐟 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐨𝐧𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐬, 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦 𝐚𝐥𝐨𝐧𝐞. 𝐓𝐫𝐲 𝐭𝐨 𝐤𝐞𝐞𝐩 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧 𝐜𝐚𝐥𝐦, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐨𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐬. 𝐏𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 𝐰𝐡𝐨 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐢𝐭 𝐬𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐝𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐝𝐢𝐞, 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐧. 𝐃𝐨𝐧’𝐭 𝐝𝐢𝐬𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫 𝐭𝐚𝐥𝐤 𝐨𝐟 𝐬𝐮𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐚𝐬 𝐣𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐬. 𝐈𝐟 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐲 𝐬𝐢𝐠𝐧𝐬 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐲 𝐦𝐚𝐲 𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐫𝐦𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐦𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐯𝐞𝐬, 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐩.
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"Please save me..." Althea' voice emerged slowly with her figure. She was extending both her hands as if asking him to hold her, prevent her from leaving. But, could he do that? More importantly, did he have the power to do so?

"I don't want to die..." She spoke once more. And, it triggered to him that she is leaving... Yet again...

Melchor' eyes snapped open. Before him was a map with green marks all over it. These were the assigned areas where his team was supposed to search and exorcise monsters. The green marks indicated that he had already done so. The war between monsters and humans was already coming to an end and, this wasn't a good sign. As fated, Analyn was in Melchor' division and Alab was in a different division altogether.

"Did you see it again?" Analyn walked inside the camp. Ever since, they came to war, Melchor' mind was in a mess whenever he was left alone. He would see Althea coming in his dreams saying how she's going to die and, how she doesn't want to.

"It has become a habit know?" Analyn came to stand before him.

"I'm not used to it and I don't want to see it..." He said, standing up from his seat.

"You won't have to. The war is almost over and after it's over, I'll try my best to have her back." Analyn reassured, without even knowing if she could.
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"I came back as soon as I could." Alab rushed inside the carriage where Analyn and Melchor were already seated. The war was already over and they were rushing back to the Main Land.

"You did great. Let's go." Analyn smiled. Inside, she was trying to be positive. She knew Althea didn't love Alon and vice versa. She knew she loved Alon and he loved her back. There was a hope that everything will be okay.
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"Die..." A voice. Too good to exist, said. Althea had heard this voice before. Where though? And, why was she constantly asked to die?

"I don't want to..." Saying these words was equally a battle. She thought something was tightening itself around her. It was suffocating. She didn't want to die... Her hands, on reflex, raised itself to her neck to release herself. But, how could someone release oneself if there isn't something visible around them?

Suddenly, her mind went blank. This was a state where she actively, didn't want to kill herself but would welcome death if it happened. She had started to view death as a release or way of taking control over herself. Living like puppet. It was suffocating.

Slowly, her hands reached out to the knife placed in front of her. With trembling hands, she took the knife in her hands. Straightening it, she sliced the knife, deep in her wrist. After cutting her wrists she let the knife in that place. She knew she'll survive a significant number of minutes, long enough to feel the pain of what she just did, both physically and mentally. This pain was significant. And then, she tried to stop it. No! She didn't want to die. Why did she remember that now? She stretched her other hand to take the knife out but, to no avail. Suddenly, she found her hands suspended in air. She couldn't move them at her free will. That meant she wouldn't be able to take steps to stop what she had just done, she sat there, laughing at what she had become. She was literally, watching herself die.

And then, it came. Her memories. Reading for exams, being nervous about results, Adrian lending her his phone to read 'Love is...', her getting frustrated about the characters, her going to check results and knowing from Liz that the book changed just for her. She recalled dying from accident and then, meeting the God. He left her to figure things on her own in this novel' world. How funny, she thought. She couldn't even control herself here. What was the use of this second chance if she wasn't going to be herself? These thoughts made her feel stupid. Stupid enough to laugh. She threw her head back and laughed like crazy... It was going to end soon... Very soon.

Looking at her injured hand, she wondered how she never even dreamt about doing anything like this. Suicide was so not an answer to any problem. Sadness, failures were just part of life, just like success and happiness, after all. But nothing was permanent so for whatever reason she was doing this, she knew she didn't want it.

She remembered the things she always wanted to do in this life but somehow was never able to do it. She wanted to go somewhere far, explore the world, meet new people. Life was worth more than she was made to do. Then, it started to sunk inside, she was going to die... For the second time. Without even living according to her own. This thought was hurting her. Subconsciously, tears started flowing from her eyes...

And this method, was painful. As she was exsanguinating, her body went into some fairly hard-core defence mechanisms to stop her from dying. Her core temperature dropped, and her arteries and veins in her extremities constricted to prevent substantial blood loss. Which meant she got very, very cold.

If you want to know how nasty this feels, fill a bath with cold water and sit in it for a few hours. This is why so many potential suicides who’ve tried opening a vein a few times try slitting their wrists in a hot bath. It doesn’t matter… you’ll still feel freezing cold soon.

Her mind was desperate to keep her alive, so was her body. It attempted to stabilise blood pressure and tried to keep her brain functioning as best as possible for as long as possible. This made her feel horrific dizzy spells and nausea as if paralytically drunk, while remaining fully conscious and aware. So, she panicked. As her body began to weaken, her body pumped adrenaline into her system in order for her to either help herself or get help. Unfortunately, this didn't make up for the volumetric blood loss. Nor it helped her to feel unlike a puppet. That meant trying to sit up was like trying to bench press a Cadillac, and she panicked even more. She was surrounded in a pool of blood, which was her own...

This combination of freezing cold extremities and raw, incapacitated, dizzy terror continued until the blood loss became so great, her brain began to shut down. Even here things weren't pleasant, as she began to experience a series of visual and auditory hallucinations that might be anything from mildly pleasant memories to full-blown horrors from the depths of her psyche. Eventually, these faded to flashes of light and sound, and then she found herself slipping into sleep. From which, she had a feeling, she won't be waking up.
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Number of words : 1168
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Althea didn't want to die... She wanted to live. Live her life to fullest but, couldn't do so because of an unknown force. Will she be having a reawakening? Or is this the end? Let's find out in the upcoming chapters.

A disturbing chapter. Writing this was really difficult. Thinking about how powerful the idea of  'DEATH' is, scares me. I know that birth and death is just a part of a never ending cycle. You die and get reincarnated somewhere. But, things will never be the same. YOU won't EVER be SAME.

Please, don't think of ending your life from your very own hands. It's not only painful but, it leaves your loved one wondering what went wrong. That's it. I don't have anything more to say.