"The past can only be escaped by embracing something better.” -Nicholas Sparks

■

■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■

Addilyn's POV :-

The reality of trying to love again when your heart is broken...

It is like you’re going through the motions of doing exactly what you’re supposed to but you don’t feel anything. You’ve grown so numb to waking up empty, you’ve become used to it. It’s pain becoming this comfort zone and you don’t remember a time when you were without it.

And I, Addilyn Fleur, thought, if it's that painful; why waste your time and patience on trying to love again, when you are definitely not going to die without it ?

You may be confused with the thesis of mine over love, but, let me tell you I speak what I see and feel. Let me tell you my average pathetic love story.

You can then, decide whether my thesis is correct or not.

Falling madly, deeply in love with another person is a magical feeling. You want to shout it from the rooftops and let the whole world know. There are countless movies about falling in love, along with hundreds of self-help books that are guiding us in this direction. People are more than happy to share their experiences of falling hard for another person. They describe how fast the butterflies came the first time they kissed, or how they "just knew" when they saw the other person. But, no one really talks about falling out of love.

It happened 8 months back, when I was getting ready to get married to the so-called 'love of my life'. I was waiting at the aisle as Axel Connor, the man I was supposed to get married, was stuck in traffic.

I was very nervous. Many negative questions were flooding my mind. Let me tell you, pre-wedding jitters are a totally normal part of getting married-  but they’re still enough to make anyone panic. Despite the fact that most people have them, they make you start thinking about the big questions: Have I made a mistake? Am I ready? Is this really the rest of my life? Even if someone is completely in love and ready to get married, these questions can creep up. And, I was just wishing that Axel could hurry up and be here.

He was the answer to all my questions. He was the only one who could calm me at this moment. 

I waited and waited and waited and waited... but, the wait felt so long.

Do you know that time is a strange thing, a mix of reality and perception ?

I didn't know that, until that day.

Our wedding was supposed to happen in afternoon but, night came before him. The wedding guests left, extending their sympathies. But, I didn't need that. I knew he would come. So, I waited. My parents and friends were sobbing, even the vicar was crying silent tears but, I reminded myself of him and remained strong. The night turned to morning and I now, knew that he will not come.

He didn't come after all.  

The world suddenly felt so small….

It was supposed  to be the happiest day of my life. And then, in a moment, it’s the worst day of my life. Just like that…He didn't even say, ‘I can’t do it.' Was I so horrible ?

Not so long ago, I had my whole life planned out; wedding invites were mailed, future kids’ names were picked out. I even had monogrammed hand towels with my new last name on them. But, everything felt so useless and worthless now. I felt worthless...

And then, realisation dawned upon me- "The person I love most in the entire world has left me. Gone. Vanished. And the real kicker here folks—he left by choice. You all know this and yet you still say it’s ‘his loss.” Care to explain HOW ?

As if that was supposed to make me feel better, console me; make me the ‘bigger person.’ It did none of the above because the truth of the matter is: I have experienced a loss….I cried so much for the first few weeks that I thought I would get dehydrated from all the water loss. I cried at any moment I could get alone, and around people with whom I felt comfortable with.

And now, when I see other couples holding hands, when I turn on sports, when I hear his name, when I dream of his touch, when I get another invitation to a wedding, I am jolted with a pain that knocks me off my feet for a bit. It’s an empty hole in my body that feels bottomless some days, and will never be filled.

After months of crying, I received a message on my phone. It was from my best friend- Reese. It was a picture of some kind of invitation. It read :-

"Best wishes for a beautiful marriage filled with wonderful memories.
Axel Connor weds Ashley Harper.”

Just wow !

My childhood friend is getting married to my other childhood friend. Should I not be happy ?

It can be hard making friends and even harder to trust them. For some people, it can also be difficult to find someone who really loves you and cares about you. Ideally, a good friend will offer love and respect and will never betray you. But unfortunately, not everyone is like that. The hard truth is that sometimes people--even best friends--betray each other. But it's so important, yet such a struggle, to learn how to forgive and move on. Thankfully, though, it's not impossible.

It's easy to get upset when you think that someone close to you has betrayed you. But, I wanted my answers so, I decided to go to the wedding.

I met both of them. And talked.

And I realized that I was always a third wheel between them. How sweet.

I left the wedding. Now, you should know, why I feel like that.

Is my thesis still wrong ?

I am currently heading out of the church, throwing the bits and pieces of my broken heart out of my body, mind, soul and life.

We’re raised to believe that love is something ethereal -- magical, even. We’re taught that love is something you mysteriously stumble on -- as if destiny had a role.

In my experience, love itself is anything but mysterious. If anything, it's the people in love who are mysterious.

And thus, I decided that love is not meant for me. I look up to the sky and declare to the heavens that I will never fall in love again.

○○○○○○○○○○○○○●●●●●●●●●●●●●

Location :- Mount Olympus (Home of the legendary God's and and Goddesses)

Aphrodite's POV :-

"Did you listen that ?"

"Listen what ?" I ask Eros, my son.

"She says that she will never fall in love again." He said pointing towards Earth.

Curious, to where he is pointing, I look up to see a girl with violet eyes and light brown hair. Her face held determination and challenge...

Interesting...

Her words echo here,"Over the years, I’ve learned that there are some people who, for one reason or another, are not capable of maintaining a relationship. They are too broken to love because they do not, cannot, or will not behave the right way with their partners or understand what relationships should be. In many cases, they will be great dates, but flee from commitment or serious things. And  I believe that there is no such thing as true love. Do you get that ? Remember this, I am never ever going to fall in love."

She is challenging me ?!

Very fine, my child.

Challenge accepted !

■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■■

Number of words :- 1267