My vice. My downfall...

But when you've already fallen enough times for two lifetimes what's one more step in the wrong direction?

I step forward, wrapping my large hand around Monica's small waist. I pull her into me, holding her body flush against mine for a few moments. My breathing falters slightly when I realize there's no internal backlash from having her at this proximity. There's no whiplash, no searing sensation. It's just her honey-colored eyes starring up at me, looking just as lost as I feel.

And here we are, just standing here in her doorway, looking at each other for something. I can't help but want to be closer, want to be with her, inside of her. From what I can see, she wants me just as bad. They always do, but it's different this time. That look, it's just... different.

I tangle my hands in her long, dark waves and press my mouth down on hers. I let my lips mingle with hers while stepping us back inside of her apartment. I've never been inside but I'm assuming the layout is much like my own apartment. But that is beside the point because I'm not here to look around, I'm here to be with her. 

You're here to get rid of her...

A deep groan tears from my chest as her tongue presses against mine and I know my previous thought is the last thing that's going to happen right now. Monica must've liked the sound I'd made because her body starts trembling in my hands.

We don't say anything as we begin the process of removing one another's clothing. Her hands glide over the plains of my body, as mine do hers. I help her with my shirt, considering I'm half a foot or more taller than her and once we're both completely naked I look her over before wrapping my arms around her again.

I hold my bare body against hers, skin to skin, nothing between us and to my utter surprise, there are no demons. Her skin is so soft and supple against my solid frame. She's so soft. I place my hands on her jaw, pulling her up to meet my lips. I kiss her deeply, passionately. I give her a kiss that so desperately tries to convey exactly what's going on inside of me.

I am broken beyond repair...

The way she kisses me back tells me that she knows and doesn't care that there's not much left inside of me. It's like she just knows my insides aren't perfect, they're the exact opposite. They're splintered, damaged and with each caress of her hands on my skin, each tiny moan that escapes her lips, every movement of her body against mine, she mends a small part of it, of me. 

Whether Monica knows she's doing this or not doesn't matter, because I can feel it. I can feel the shatters and shards of my soul intertwining themselves as our bodies do. But a disease isn't supposed to mend you, it supposed to tear you apart...

Before my mind can linger on any of those things for too long she pushes me backwards and I comply by sitting down on the bed. The moment I do, I am immediately enveloped in the scent of Monica. The smell is the same as her eyes, amber with a touch of whatever that wonderful shit is that she puts in her hair. 

She bites her lip in anticipation as she begins to straddle me. She starts to wrap her arms around my neck but asks if it's okay before she does so. I don't say anything, I just nod in response. Monica smiles warmly down to me, holding my gaze as she slowly glides herself down on top of me. I can't help but moan out her name as she sits all the way on top of me, taking my entire length. I never moan anyone's name, only Monica's. Hers is the only one I remember.

Monica slowly grinds herself on top of me, as she does she clings to my neck even tighter. She does so without thinking but it doesn't matter because she feels too fucking good to care about anything else right now. Her dark waves veil around her face as she begins working me even harder, her breath coming out slightly more labored with each sensual motion of her hips. Her pace is something I'm not accustomed to and it's almost torturous.

I wrap my arms around her, bringing her completely against me as I lay the two of us back. The change in angle allows me to have control, it allows me to start pumping myself inside of her hard and fast. My hands grab onto each one of her asscheeks making her rock her body in time with my quick thrusts.

She cries out my name, moaning it into my lips and I can't help but love that sound. There's nothing I like more than hearing her moan my name while feeling her, being inside of her.

"You going to come, sweetheart?" I know she is because she's tightening around my member while her entire body begins to stiffen in my arms. "That's it, squeeze me nice and tight." I murmur the last bit into her ear as I quicken my pace.

"Fuck! Sean!" She screams out as she clamps down on me. "Fuuuuuck!" She's clinging to me now, holding on for dear life as I pound myself into her tight heat.

"Oh fuck." I hiss between my teeth as I feel my own body begin to tense as she convulses all over me. "That's it, Monica. Shiiit. Just like that." I can barely manage the words because I want to come in her so bad but I won't let myself. I still want more of her. I want to give myself to her all night long. 

Monica's shaky, trembling body leaves my chest once she recovers from her pleasurable bliss. I watch as she seats herself completely upright on top of me. Her pert breasts are bouncing up and down as she begins to ride me with her head thrown backwards. At this angle, I can just see her mouth doing that perfect little 'O' thing I like so much.

I reach up, allowing my hands to run all over her supple skin as she pleasures herself on top of me. She's riding my cock perfectly. It feels so fucking good. She feels so fucking good. I place my thumb over her clit, rubbing it in time with her pace. In no time at all she begins to quake on top of me and I can feel her begin to constrict my cock as another one of her orgasms starts to build. 

"You're so fucking beautiful, Monica." I can't help but moan the words out as she comes apart right before my very eyes. 

"Sean! I'm coming! I'm..." Her entire form tenses as a loud scream tears itself from her body, reverberating throughout the room.

Monica collapses on top of me and I have never been so fucking pleased with myself. I've never been happier sexually than I am in this very moment and that's because I have Monica a panting mess splayed out on top of me. I wrap my arms around her small frame and only give her a moment to recover before flipping her over.

She looks up at me, lying flat on her back in her post-orgasmic daze. I bring my arms out from underneath her, holding my weight on my elbows as I start pushing in and out of her slowly. I hold her brown eyes with my green ones as our breaths leave our mouths in time with one another's. I bring my lips down to hers and she meets me halfway, kissing me passionately.

I am kissing her back in the same way, a way that I have never kissed a single fucking person in my entire life. I am giving her the kiss she had asked for that day in my shower. I am showing her what she does to me, giving her a side of me that no one has ever had and one that will never be seen again.

Monica is making noises that vary between small whimpers and kitten-like purrs with each of my languid thrusts inside her. Missionary has never been my thing, it's usually a position that's too intimate for my liking. But apparently, it isn't this evening. No, it's definitely my thing this evening because anything with this woman seems to be my particular brand of pleasure.

As if she could read my mind, Monica wraps her arms around my back and scratches down slowly. There's a slight itch in the back of my skull but I don't pay attention to it. I am too lost inside of Monica right now, she's all-consuming.

I pick up my pace inside of her, feeling like I'm going to erupt at any moment. Monica starts constricting me again, milking my cock perfectly as she breaks our kiss to toss her head back into the pillows. I bring my lips to her neck, peppering it until my orgasm rocks through me rapidly. I can't help myself as I cry out loudly into the skin of her neck.

Monica's legs wrap around me, pulling me even deeper inside of her as I feel myself spurt continuously. Her arms encase me against her body, holding me tightly to her because I am shaking uncontrollably. This, this is the best orgasm I've ever had. There is something irrevocably different about the feeling coursing through my entire body. 

I lay like that, breathless and wrapped up in all that is Monica until the pleasurable sensations subside. I lay there for what seems like an eternity. All the while, Monica is kissing my hair, rubbing her hands up and down my back. I don't think about what I do next as I wrap my arms around this woman and feel myself begin to weep.

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A/N:

I just want to remind everyone of when Sean mentioned his emotional detachment way back in Chapter 3. What is emotional detachment? Well, it's when a person avoids emotions or emotional situations that can bring up unwanted reminders of traumatic past events. I know Sean may be a tough character to understand sometimes but there are reasons why he is the way that he is. I want everyone to keep that in mind while reading the next few chapters.

Thanks for reading!