"Counting down the seconds
Always second guessing
I'm dreaming of a place to start again"

Role models were a fickle thing in Andromeda's life before she traveled away from home and into the clutches of the castle. When she was little, still sucking on her thumb, she adored her mother, yet that was shortly lived as she grew to realise what she was actually like. The house elves were more friends than role models, not that Meda didn't take anything away from their work ethic.

Andromeda flat out refused to call Bellatrix anything remotely close to a role model. Although, they had been so close as children, and it pained Meda to think anything bad towards her sister, she had to admit that she wasn't a good person.

If she had seen her Uncle Alphard more often, then Meda reckoned it'd have been him. Of course, Alphard had still had a huge impact on her life, showing her kindness at a young age. However, she couldn't look up to him much if she couldn't see him at all.

Within the cold walls of the castle, Andromeda met some interesting people, such a long list that it was difficult to keep track. One of her favorite people, who also happened to be one of the first she met, was called Quinn McKinnon.

The first role model that Andromeda could name with absolute certainty, Quinn was an important character. They had only known each other for the year their education had overlapped at Hogwarts, but now, a sixth-year close to another summer, Meda was determined to regain contact.

This is how she found herself knocking on Slughorn's office door.

It was late, on a day she didn't have classes, or rather, a day she had classes yet chose to skip them as she hadn't had the will power to get out of bed. She really didn't know why she couldn't have waited until morning to speak with Slughorn, but it felt very important to her that she got into touch with Quinn.

None of this was really thought that well out. Would Quinn even want to write with the first-year from so many years ago? Quinn might've had a large impact on Andy's life, but that didn't mean it went both ways.

Before she could ditch Slughorn's office, he answered the door with a yawn, his eyes lighting up when he saw her standing there.

"Miss Black! A pleasure, of course!" Slughorn spoke, yawning again. "What can I do for you, m'dear?"

"Sorry for bothering you so late, Professor. I was just wondering if you could put me in touch with someone," Andromeda said, trying her best to dig deep into the manners instilled in her. "She was the head girl here when I was a first-year."

Slughorn stood in thought for a moment.

"Ah, Quinn McKinnon! A shoe-in for head girl if I do say so myself!" Slughorn chuckled at his own genius. "She writes for the Daily Prophet now, the section for advocacy and wizard rights. I should have her contact information in here somewhere-"

Slughorn trailed off and led Andy into his office. She admired his neat desk as he searched through the drawers of parchment, visually pleased when he found what he needed. Recording quickly with a quill, he rewrote her information and handed it to Andy with a smile.

"There it is, Miss Black! Everything your owl should need to reach Miss McKinnon," Slughorn said, as they walked to the door. "Now, do get some shut eye!"

"Thank you so much, Professor! This means the world," Andy said, completely genuine with her words.

"Of course! Of course!" Slughorn chuckled heartily. "You come to me anytime you need!"

"Good night, Professor!"

Andromeda did not heed Slughorn's words when he told her to get some sleep. Instead, she spent the rest of the night trying to gather the words she wished to say Quinn, which took her until she started to see the sun rise.

By wand light, her bed curtains drawn, she crafted a letter she thought would put the past five years or so into perspective.

It read:

Dear Quinn McKinnon,

At least, I hope it's you.

My name is Andromeda Black, the short first-year you briefly took under your wing as a head girl. I do hope you remember, or this letter would be quite embarrassing.

I'm in the last few months of my sixth-year now, and I'm a whole lot taller than I was. Weird how time works, right?

Anyway, if you remember who I am, you're probably wondering why I'm writing to you now. I asked Slughorn for your info because I'm in a bit of a rough patch, and you helped me more than you know as a little eleven year old.

I'd understand if you think this is incredibly weird, but you were a bit of a mentor for me, and I miss that.

Best Wishes,
Andromeda

She sent it off with her owl and hoped for the best.

...

A time of reflection is helpful when things go awry, but this doesn't mean Andromeda had ever liked to do so. She finds that more often than not she will begin to overthink, which would lead to a spiral she'd rather just avoid.

However, in the recent light of things, Andy had been simply lying around and doing a lot of thinking. When she woke up, she was thinking. Walking to breakfast? Thinking. In class? Thinking. Going to bed? Thinking.

Now, her brain—the powerhouse that it is—came up with so many new solutions for the conflict at hand, that she felt she had had it solved before she had even talked to anyone else about it. Things are just so hard to explain to others, so naturally, she kept it all to herself.

For one, she'd have to start at the very beginning, which was how she really didn't have any right to be jealous. She and Ted were friends before everything else, and even if there were mixed signals flying around, making everything so much more difficult, that didn't mean Andy could walk around rueful for what she didn't have.

To further that point, her head had thought it funny to mock her with thoughts of August. The charming boy that she had let down so many months ago, who wasn't known to many here at Hogwarts.

Andromeda had made it clear that she didn't wish to speak of her summer, and for some reason, that included keeping August a secret from everyone except Henri, and now Jack. Which, that, was an accident really, and it made it more difficult to keep it from Ted.

Secondly, she knew she needed to bite the bullet and just talk to Ted because he was the only one she needed to clear the air with—she really didn't care that Luella hated her for whatever reason. She missed him, embarrassingly so, and she didn't need anymore convincing to talk to him. It was just hard to find him alone.

It was obvious before that Ted was a popular guy. He was the quidditch captain, an established prefect, and was near the top of their class. So, it made perfect sense that he should have people around him. Andromeda just always was able to catch his eye before to draw him away from everyone else, but it seemed he didn't want to make eye contact with her anymore.

Which, okay, hurt a lot and Andy didn't wish to think of it for too long.

Henri was doing her best to stay neutral in this odd conflict, but as Andromeda's best friend, first and foremost, she dropped hints to her of where Ted may or may not be. She was really helping the both of them in the long run, so she didn't see why it was that big of a deal.

Following one of these hints, Andy walked timidly into the library, a good amount daunted by the task at hand. She wasn't very good at talking through her feelings, and she couldn't have her friendship fail with Ted because of that.

So, she didn't hesitate a second longer when she saw Ted sitting at their table in the back of the library.

"Can I sit?" She asked, startling him as there hadn't been anyone remotely close to him five seconds ago.

"Of course, Dromeda," Ted said carefully, looking up at her strangely. "You don't need to ask."

She sniffed at the comment as they hadn't talked in days, so how would she know something hasn't changed?

Instead of turning back to his work, he stayed looking at Andromeda, surveying her eyes. She really wished he wouldn't do that, it tied up her tongue which made talking through her feelings even more difficult.

"Was there something you needed?" He asked slowly, after they just stared at each other for a few seconds.

"Yes, actually," Andy said, clearing her throat. "I need to talk to you about something, and it's going to be difficult because I'm terrible at talking through things and-"

He grabbed her hand like it was second nature. Her eyes glanced down at their hands, and it was like nothing had changed, before he took his back and shifted in his seat.

"You know I'm here to listen," Ted reminded her, drawing her eyes back up to his small smile. "I'll help you through it."

"Okay, give me a hot second to figure it out," Andy said quietly, flustered now and cursing herself internally.

"Take all the time you need," Ted replied, shutting his textbooks and putting them away.

All the attention was on her.

"I feel like since you and Luella have gone out, we've been getting more distant—and I'm not placing blame or anything, I just think we haven't been talking as much or something," Andy swallowed hard and attempted to continue. "Like we haven't hung out as much, and I- I-"

"You what?" Ted encouraged her.

"I miss you," Andromeda nearly whispered. "I miss talking to you between classes and at meals, and after curfew. I understand that now with Luella you've got to spend time with her too, but I feel like I'm not getting any of your time at all."

They sat with her words for a second.

"I'm sorry, Dromeda," Ted said, and he looked like he really meant it. "You're right, we haven't been spending as much time together, and that's no fault of your own. I just need to do a better job of balancing things, s'all."

Andromeda's smile grew tentatively onto her face.

"I've missed you too," Ted told her, and she almost missed it due to a commotion in the front of the library, but nothing would ever make her forget the feeling. "I'll bring Luella around the group more, so that I can spend time with everyone."

And just as quick as her heart swelled, it got depressingly small again.

"Y-yeah, that would be great, Ted!" Andy said, forcing her voice not to break.

...

Jack says she's biased—and she very well might be—but Andy could only bring herself to approve of Henri and Ben, and not Ted and Luella. She had legitimate reasons to support these decisions though, however, skewed they may seem.

For the better part of February and now March, Andromeda had watched these two relationships develop. She had heard much more about Henri's relationship with Ben from Henri than Ted had told her about him and Luella, but that didn't have to mean anything.

Being an observant character, Andromeda had seen the two couples interact quite a bit, which meant she and Jack had a large amount to talk about while on patrols.

Something they both had pointed out was how Ben and Henri talked to each other like they were the only ones there. He often held Henri's books for her even though he didn't have to do that, and Henri frequently was seen giving him sweets.

It wasn't as if Jack and Andy were comparing the couples, but Henri and Ben certainly looked happier together, which Jack had voiced aloud one night on patrol. Andy smacked him on the arm for the comment and changed the subject—she didn't want to speak bad about Ted, including his relationship.

Although, she had watched as Ted seemed to grow bored. Andy felt bad for Luella as she saw Ted just nod in conversations and not show any particular interest. Yet, she told herself she needn't intervene since it wasn't her relationship.

On the very last day of March, Andy pulled on her rain boots and cloak, preparing herself to trudge through the mud on the way to the greenhouses. Professor Sprout had given her permission to check on the plants that morning for an extra credit assignment, and she was more than thrilled to do so.

Henri was at quidditch practice, Jack was in detention with Filch—something about running into a trophy case and shattering it—and Ted was, well, she wasn't too sure, but that was okay. They didn't need to be aware of each other's whereabouts one hundred percent of the time.

Humming to herself as she went along, she reached the greenhouses in what was probably record time. She really wanted to impress Sprout with her attentiveness.

What she found waiting for her in the greenhouses was much more than plants.

Even if she couldn't see her face, Andromeda knew exactly who held their face in her hands. The curly blonde hair had been plaguing her thoughts for nearly two months.

"Luella? Are you alright?" Andromeda treaded carefully seeing as she wasn't close with Luella by any means.

Luella's head snapped up at her voice. She wiped her eyes and stood up, brushing her hands off on her cloak. Her eyes refilled with tears as she stoked before Andy, opening and closing her mouth a few times before speaking.

"Well, this is mighty awkward," Luella said, clearing her voice. "I'll just get out of your hair-"

"No! Sorry- I mean- you can leave if you want," Andy tried to articulate her words the best she could without the best friendship with Luella. "I just- I want to make sure you're okay."

"I'm not," Luella admitted flat out. "But, there's not much you can do about it, unless you wish to convince Ted to unbreakup with me."

"I- oh- I'm sorry," Andy replied, her eyes widening. "I had no idea, Luella."

"Don't apologize, you haven't done anything," Luella said, although she didn't seem too sure of her words. "Thanks for caring though."

"Uh- of course," Andy stuttered as Luella started to leave. "See you around?"

"Bye," Luella threw over her shoulder, clearly deflated.

Andromeda stood silently for a few moments before turning to work on the first plant.

"Merlin's beard," she said, shaking her head.

...

Song: Fly Away
By: 5 Seconds of Summer

Merry Christmas to those who celebrate! This is my gift to all of you!

This chapter was supposed to go so much differently, but hey, plans change and I think I'm much happier with this version.

I hope to write more over my holiday break, but things always seem to come up so I don't want to promise another update within a week. It'll come, I'm just not sure when yet.

Lmao anyways thanks for reading
-teddy xx