((Warnings: Angst, Breakup, crying, Language. (No extreme language though.) Repetitive writing, hope this was okay. Enjoy and stay safe, Merry Christmas.))

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Past memories

Singing.

(3rd) POV:

When Janus opened the door to see Roman and Remus infront of his apartment, he quickly went to close the door, not wanting to see them at the moment.

He hadn't wanted to see anyone for weeks, cutting off all contact with his friends, causing them to worry and finally, Remus and Roman. The two chaotic twins, decided to take it upon themselves to surprise him with a visit.

They knew why he didn't want to see or talk to anyone, of course. Who wouldn't? All of his friends knew, which was another reason why he didn't want to communicate with them.

To his dismay, Roman stuck his foot infront of the door, making sure Janus didn't shut it and lock them out.

Janus groaned a bit, dragging his hands over his face, in annoyance. "Roman, Remus. Leave." He said, looking at the with half-lidded, tired eyes.

"Jeez- what happened to you? You look like you got hit by a bus." Remus commented, taking notice of the dark circles underneath Janus's eyes.

Roman slapped Remus's arm, glaring at him slightly. "He doesn't need to hear that! He needs reassurance, you dimwit!"

"Well I'm reassuring him that he looks like a damn skeleton, You shit muffin!" Remus retorted, slapping Roman back.

"Well he doesn't need to hear any of that kind of reassurance! He needs the positive kind! Not negative!" Roman said, raising his voice a bit as he fought with his brother.

Janus watched the two, an unimpressed look on his face as he glanced down at Roman's foot, which was now away from the door.

Just as Janus was about to close the door, Remy sand Roman both grabbed onto his arms, restraining him.

"Oh- No you dont- you're not going anywhere. You're going to get some shoes and a coat on, and you're going to come with us, we're going to hangout and you can't say anything about it." Roman said, slightly pulling Janus, trying to get him out of the apartment.

"We're going to a bar and gonna get wrecked-"

"No- Remus- your limit is three drinks- that's it-" Roman said, sighing.

"You two do realize that this is kidnapping, correct-?" Janus asked, trying to pull out of Remus and Roman's grip.

"Hey, I didn't think about it like that- this is even more exciting-" Remus said, grinning widely.

"Not kidnapping- only forcing you to come for your own good-" Roman stated, earning an elbow jab from Remus.

"Kidnapping is more fun."

"Guys. I appreciate it. But no, I'm not going." Janus said, trying and failing yet again to get away.

"Roman, I think we need to resort to plan B." Remus said, looking at his twin.

"I agree."

"Wow- you two actually agreed on something. Shocking- now let me go." Janus said, glaring at the two.

"This is for your own good Jan-" Roman said, earning a concerned and confused look from Janus.

"....Guys-?"

"This'll hurt-" Remus said, before picking Janus up, Slinging him over his shoulder.

"Remus!! You put me down!!" Janus said, punching his back.

"Go get the shoes and coat, quick-" Remus said to Roman ignoring Janus's punches. "Jeez- have you eaten, you're as light as a feather."

"I swear to god I will kill the both of you and then bring you back to clean up the mess!!!!"

"Mhm, sure, Budd." Remus hummed, noticing Roman's return.

"Let's go quickly before he gets loose."

. . . . . .

"...I cants believe you two kidnapped me." Janus said, crossing his arms as he sat at a table alongside Remus and Roman at a karaoke bar.

"Oh c'mon! We're not that bad! Look! We have drinks, Karaoke, fries, what else could you want?" Roman said, trying to be positive.

Janus had one thing in mind that he wanted, but he didn't say anything, it was too painful.

"Alright, Budd. Why don't you talk to us. You've been locked in your apartment for weeks after (Y/n) and you bro-"

"Don't be insensitive Remus!" Roman said, slapping a hand over Remus's mouth, to which Remus licked, causing Roman to pull his hand away with a disgusted squeal. "Ew! Remus!"

Janus sighed, resting his head on his hand sadly as he watched one person finally got off the stage after horrible drunken singing.

"Hey! I have an idea!" Roman said, slinging his arm around Janus's shoulders, to which Janus huffed at.

"That's a first." Janus said, sarcastically, shrugging off Roman's arm.

"I'm going to ignore that and continue- why don't you sing, Huh? Do some karaoke!"

"No one wants to sing after a break up Roman-" Remus said, rolling his eyes.

"I do! It helps me get my mind off of them." Roman says, shrugging.

"Well not everyone is like you, Shithead." Remus said, causing him and Roman to start bickering again.

Janus let in a shaky inhale, his blood boiling in annoyance.

"Oh my god! If I go sing stupid karaoke, Will you two shut up??" Janus asked, finally snapping.

"...Yes-?" Roman says, watching Janus stand up, His chair sliding back and squeaking as it moved against the ground.

Janus walked to the stage, Instantly starting to regret his decision as he snatched up a microphone and saw the many eyes watching him.

He didn't really pay attention to which song his picked as the music started playing, but once he realized what song it was, it was too late to choose a different one.

The many thoughts an memories flooded his mind as he listened to the music, almost missing his que to sing.

"I'm really on the ropes this time, I've been fighting all my life for you."

The memories came like a tsunami wave, washing over his mind and leaving him with only the thoughts of the one person he loved more than anything, (Y/n).

"I never should have said goodbye, But maybe that's what stupid people do."

Janus couldn't help but remember when it all ended, when he ended it.

".....This isn't working." Janus said, looking down at the ground, finding it more interesting than (Y/n).

"...What-?" They asked, as if they didn't hear it. Or more so, believe what they were hearing.

"This.. this just... Isn't working.. I'm.. I'm not good for you." He said, gulping nervously.

"What do you mean?? Of you're you're good for me! There's nothing wrong with you!"

"No- no no- you don't understand- I'm no good.. We- We're no good.this relationship- its just- it's not working! We fight all the time! We just- we don't work!"

"Well we can! We just have to keep trying!!" (Y/n) shouted, trying to get through to Janus. But it was no good. He had already given up.

"....No. I'm done trying. You deserve better.. Goodbye (Y/n)."

"Cause you gave me peace, and I wasted it."

He remembered all the times (Y/n) made him happy, made him relax and feel at peace.

And how he threw it all away. Just because he didn't want to keep trying. How he didn't try hard enough. When he could have.

"I'm here to admit, that you were my medicine. Oh, I couldn't quit."

Janus laid on his bed, not feeling like doing anything. He didn't want to think about how whenever he was sad like this, (Y/n) would always help him.

They would always bring light into his life, make it feel better whenever he needed help, whenever he needed reassurance.

But now, they weren't there.

And Janus didn't get better.

"And I'm down on my knees again. Asking for nothing."

He had thought countlessly about how he could apologise, do anything to try and make it up to them, try and get them back.

Beg them to forgive him, beg them to give him another chance.

A chance he would take Seriously this time.

But he didn't. He knew that they probably didn't want to see him. And how they were probably happier without him.

"Thank you for the happiest year of my life."

By now, with the memories flooding in, Janus's heart was twisting in pain, Guilt, Sorrow, regret and many other emotions that caused his eyes to start tearing up.

He remembered the year he spent in a relationship with (Y/n).

The year that he threw away.

The year that he ruined.

"Thank you for the happiest year of my life, Ooh."

Remus and Roman perked up as they watched their friends eyes start to turn glossy with tears that weren't visable to others if they weren't paying attention.

The two started to silently panic, not knowing what to do and not knowing how they could make him feel better after this.

"Don't think I could forgive myself. I'm sorry for the ways that I used you."

Janus couldn't help but think of how (Y/n) would always help him when he needed the assistance.

But.. he couldn't seem to remember any times that he helped (Y/n).

Though there were probably times that he did. He seemed to only remember how (Y/n) were there for him more times than he can count.

And how his help, was little.

"And I could care less right now, but you know, you hurt me pretty good too."

The memories of how they fought came crashing into his mind.

He remembered how the words that were said we're like blades piercing his skin. How the words were left into his memory, how they remained and stayed there to haunt him.

Although he knew, that he had done the same with (Y/n).

And he still couldn't seem to forgive himself for it.

"Yeah we made each other bleed. And we tasted it."

Although they would fight, they always caved. They always forgave each other.

Because no matter how much the quarrels lingered and hurt the two.

They chose to forgive.

"I'm here to admit, that you were my medicine. Oh, love, I couldn't quit."

The recollection of (Y/n's) smile echoed in his brain, making his start to shake in sorrow.

His two friends noticed, and watched him continue his singing, in pity.

"And I'm down on my knees again."

Now he knew, that if he had another chance. He would take it. Without hesitation.

He knew now, that he needed (Y/n) in his life.

He knew now, that he was wrong to leave them, he was wrong to end it. And how he was absolutely helpless without them.

"Thank you for the happiest year of my life, ohh. Thank you for the happiest year of my life, ooh."

His voice began to shake, catching up in his throat like a sob he was holding back.

The tears in his eyes starting to grow, and fall down his face.

"So, wake me up when they build that time machine. I want to go back. Wake me up when you were sleeping next to me."

Janus knew, at how everyone's eyes were on him, that he was about to crack.

That his walls were about to crumble, and he would break.

He knew by how his breath was getting caught in his throat, how he trembled and tried not to sob, that he needed (Y/n), but yet, he couldn't have them.

"Cause I really loved you, Thank you for the happiest year of my life."

He couldn't seem to stop the never ending flow of memories he had of his relationship with them.

The many times they both laughed, cried, stayed there for each other. How they loved each other.

"Thank you for the happiest year of my life, Ooh. Thank you for the happiest year of my life, Yeah."

The reminiscence of the past year, of the many times they enjoyed each other's company.

How they joked and smiled, and how he left it.

How he ruined it all. And how he was the one remembering, and regretting it.

"Thank you for the happiest year of my life."

But the last thing he remembered now, was the words (Y/n) said to him, before he left, how they said these nine simple words, that made him crumble onto the floor.

The last words they ever said to him, and the words he was saying now.

"Thank you for the happiest year of my life."

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((Soo- I debated on whether or not I should've gone with the break up or a death- and I decided I would go for some less extreme angst and went for the break up- hope you enjoyed.))

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((Word count in total: 2116 )