((Warnings: Mentions of death, Blood, PTSD, hallucinations, Passing out. Angst. Human au. Requested by: asagothe_fander I hope this is what you were wanting, I tried. Sucky writing. Enjoy-))

Italics:

Past memories.

(Third) POV:

Remy shook as he downed another cup of coffee, he had to have had at least fifty cups already.

He didn't want to sleep, and he wasn't going to by how much coffee he had already drunk. And he was still drinking.

He didn't want to remember what had happened but he couldn't help but let his thoughts wander as he poured himself another cup of the bitter liquid.

Remy hasn't slept for weeks, and the hallucinations had already begun. He couldn't seem to get the desire to sleep as he sat down, trembling from how much caffeine he had.

His eyes started to fill with tears as he saw something from the corner of his eye. His eyes were already wide and dull, he used to sleep well. But now, he didn't sleep at all.

He jerked his head to the corner, being able to now clearly see what he had caught a glimpse of only moments ago.

He shivered from the sight of the man in the corner, one side of his face being covered in splotches of a different skin tone than what his body was.

Remy recognized the man immediately, it was the one and only, Janus.

He jumped, spilling his coffee as tears leaked down his face. He stood wide eyes at the hallucination, he knew it was a hallucination. For it couldn't be the real Janus...

Remy couldn't help but remember what happened, he didn't want to.. but it was inevitable.

"C'mon, Jan! I want coffee and I want it now." Remy stated, pulling along the heterochromatic male.

"One day, Remy. That's all I asked for. All I wanted was one day of peace and quiet so that I could drink my wine and read." Janus groaned, having to follow the male out to the car. "But you had to drag me along so you could get your stupid coffee."

"First of all: Peace and quiet is unavoidable in that house. Second: coffee is the best thing in the universe. Insult it again and you'll have to answer to me." Remy argued, rolling his eyes that were behind his glasses.

"Yeah right, then you'd have no one to drive you to Starbucks since you had your license taken away." Janus retorted, sighing.

It was true, the others banned Remy from driving after he made a trip to the hospital after falling asleep while driving.

"...That is true, But-"

"But nothing. Just get in the car." Janus said, walking into the road to get to the car.

"Thanks babes, you're the best." Remy said, running off infront of Janus already at the passenger side door.

Janus was walking to the car, when Remy looked to the sides seeing a van loose control and start weaving on the road, it was speeding and headed right for Janus.

Remy's eyes widened as he yelled to Janus.

"Look out-!!"

Remy looked at the figure, his eyes glossy as he stared at the hallucination.

His hallucinations weren't this bad, Janus was the last thing he wanted to see right now. His PTSD wouldn't be able to take this.

He trembled, his knees growing weak as he fell to the floor, his knees hitting the hard marble with a loud thud as he couldn't seem to take his eyes off of the male.

He gazed at him in horror as the hallucination started to step closer to him, making him flinch and let out somewhat of a whimper in the process.

His heart was racing, he couldn't take much more of this. Not after the incident.

Remy watched as it was too late. The puddle of blood surrounding Janus as the car backed up and drive away was enough to make anyone scream.

Remy lunged at the lifeless body, tears starting to form in his eyes as he grabbed ahold of Janus, holding onto him as if his life depended on it.

He rocked back and forth, some pedestrians seeing the scene and quickly calling an ambulance as he cradled Janus's body in his arms.

Remy knew he couldn't do anything, that no one could do anything. Janus was gone. And Remy took the blame.

"It's all my fault.. i-Its all my fault- Oh god- I-Its- It's my fault-" He repeated, over and over again as he heard the distant sirens of the ambulance heading towards them.

Remy was finally able to screw his eyes shut as he sobbed, not wanting to see Janus any longer.

Even if he was a hallucination.

He had took the blame, and it had hit him hard. He didn't talk to anyone, he didn't even go to the funeral, due to him being in bed from greif.

His heart pounded as he shook vigorously, not being able to control his body as he felt a hand on his shoulder.

He stood up quickly, trying to get away from the touch as he opened his eyes.

It was still Janus, the only thing he saw was Janus.

He cried as he held his head din his hands, not being able to control his breathing as he sobbed.

"J-Jan- I-Im so Sorry- I-Is all my fault- i- I'm sorry-!" He yelled, crying loudly.

"Shhh- Go to bed, You insomniac." The voice was Janus's, and it held that small chuckle at the end of it's sentence, just like Janus would do.

Remy could feel that Janus was smiling, sadly.

He didn't want to look up, he couldn't bring himself to do it.

This was all a hallucination, he knew it was, Janus wasn't here, he was dead.

He grew weak as his head started to feel foggy. He began to tilt, he knew he would pass out any minute.

He paled, as he tried to hold onto Janus, but he couldn't, due to him not really being there.

He let out a small exhale as he fell down to the floor, collapsing from exhaustion.

.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
(Word count in total: 1030 )