P I A C U L A R
adjective [pahy-ak-yuh-ler]

Expiatory; atoning; reparatory.

~  ~  ~  ~  ~

You decided to remain silent and restrict your communication to a shake or nod of your head, a smile or frown of your lips, or the movement of your eyebrows and eyes. It was your version of an acute 'vow of silence'.

You realized a couple weeks ago that sometimes, what you say can cause a lot of discomfort to particular people... people that you care about, and you thought cared the same for you.

Your neighbor from two farms down, Robbie Turner is your only best friend in the suburban land where you live with your family. You have no siblings and your life isn't that eventful. With Robbie, you find some purpose within your day. He keeps you entertained and he isn't afraid to venture to the unknown.

But he hurt you two weeks ago... and you sadly haven't been the same since.

"Have the bread dear," Your mother said with an expression of concern, "You haven't eaten a thing since yesterday afternoon."

You looked at her with a frown then sighed. Out of respect, you speak to only your family, and that too only when necessary. "I'm not hungry mother. I will have something once I am," You told.

"Are you upset about something [y/n]? Did something happen?" She interrogated and you shook your head slowly as you got up from your seat on the dining table.

"May I be excused?" You asked flatly and she nodded her head.

You made your way towards the main door, a numbness consuming your mind and body as you felt as though nothing could stimulate your mood to become better. You wrapped your hand around the doorknob and turned your arm slowly to open the-

"Are you going to see Robbie?"

The name made you clench your jaw and shut your eyes with disappointment. You moved your hand away from the door then turned to walk to your bedroom instead. You didn't feel like going on a walk on your own anymore.

*****

You sat on your bed with your knees propped close to your chest, a sketchbook placed against your thighs. You were drawing a horse carriage that was parked outside the fence that followed around the land of your house. You had a decent backyard and front lawn.

The carriage had a compartment at the back that was filled to the brim with flowers of a variety of colors. They looked beautiful and you added them to your sketch.

You have found a new interest in art as a means to express yourself, and you have realized that it is helping you pass your time these days and keep your mind off your emotions.

KNOCK! KNOCK! KNOCK!

 You jerked a little in sudden fright at the loud sound that was at your front door. You got up from your bed and poked your head out of the open window to see who was at the door, but you couldn't catch any glimpses.

"[y/n], door please!" Your mother yelled from where you assumed was the kitchen.

You crept out of your room and walked down the corridor leading to the main door. You had a serious expression plastered onto your face as you reached for the door knob, and turned it slowly to unlock the door.

You opened the door a little then peeked outside to see who it was. You widened your eyes when you saw who it-

You immediately pushed the door to close but something got in its way. You noticed a shoe was placed in front of the door and you pressed on it to force it to close.

"[y/n] please, I just want to talk," Robbie placed his palms on the door and attempted to push it open, but you haven't been helping your father out on the farm for nothing. You upper-body strength almost causes his foot to chop off from his leg.

"PLEASE!" Robbie exclaimed and wriggled his foot out of the door's way, which caused you to SLAM! the door shut.

You looked over your shoulder consciously, fearing that your mother would come towards you in anger at the loud ruckus.

You turned your attention back to the door and the visitor who silently stood outside.

"I am begging you [y/n]... I just want to talk, nothing else," Robbie informed, his voice muffled by the door standing between the two of you.

You sighed and thumped your forehead on the slab of wood in front of you then unlocked the door.

Having a second look at him, you noticed that he was wearing a black tuxedo with a bouquet of a variety of flowers.

"Look, I realize that I made a terrible mistake. My words were completely wrong and I shouldn't have yelled at you," Robbie explained and you crossed your arms, staring at him blankly, "I was wrong about believing my father. In the end he didn't want the best for me, I see it now. All he wanted to do was please the town governor and gain some income for his business. His son couldn't see the lies he was putting me through... Only you could, and I didn't believe a word you had said."

You frowned. You really hated every moment that Robbie was put through the deception of his father. Mr Turner kept telling his son that helping the governor would allow him to get to the best medical school and that he was actually on the governor's side for Robbie's sake.

But soon, the town saw the conman he turned but to be. He was stealing the town fund for himself and not putting it to use for the town's betterment. Families that owned farms and businesses were being taxed immense fees and Robbie's father was right in the middle of all that unfair trade.

The worst part was that his father knew exactly what the governor was doing and supported him nevertheless on an account that 'Mr Turner would be free of any financial debt for now and the future'.

You warned Robbie about the truth. Your own family had been a victim of it but Robbie, blinded by the trust and affection he had for his father, didn't believe you. He yelled at you for passing strong claims against his dad... he insulted you and you couldn't believe he could act and say such horrid things.

He started to apologuse immediately after realising that he had gone too far but the damage had already been done.

"I just-You mean everything to me and having hurt you like that... I know I can never apologise enough and I do not think I can redeem myself but I'm... sorry [y/n]," He looked to the ground and shook his head slowly, "You're clever and you're not blind to reality. I need you in my life, I don't think I can trust anyone now, except for you."

The conversation turns into a lengthened moment of awkward silence. You were unable to choose what to say from all the dialogues that were forming in your mind. Nothing seemed... right.

"Where are you headed?" You questioned as you scanned his attire and he raised his eyebrows.

"Oh I have to attend this... um, meeting-"

"You're still working with your dad huh?" You rolled you eyes and scoffed.

"No, I'm not [y/n]," He proclaimed then ran a hand through his hair and licked his lips, "I can't just... let my father go. There's a process to be done and I will see it through, mark my words. I'm never going to see my father in the same light and neither is the town."

You shook your head with disbelief, "If you truly want to do something, no one can stop you and no one argue with you. If you really want to be ridden of your father then... do it."

You stared at him deeply, as if challenging him and seeing his reaction to your statements.

You raised an eyebrow then took a step back after Robbie refused to say anything. "I'll... think about what you said. Thank you for your care and consideration Robbie but I need some time to myself. I hope you can understand," You told and he nodded his head slowly.

"Th-These are for you by the way..." He said and held out the bouquet of flowers.

You pursed your lips to stop the laugh crawling up inside your chest. "I think you should save it for a woman at the town hall when you go for your meeting," You snapped bitterly and he sighed.

"I actually did get them for you [y/n]," He grabbed your hand then sort of slammed the bouquet into your grasp and started walking away down the cobblestone path to the fence gate.

"You know it is something to accept one's mistake... and I thought you were one to not keep grudges," He said with irritation and walked off without saying goodbye.

You watched as he disappeared around the corner then backed into your house and shut the door. You examined the flowers, recognising a few roses, daffodils and lilies.

You felt bad all of a sudden, at the attitude you displayed towards Robbie but you know that you wouldn't change anything if you had a second chance at the conversation.

You walked the dining table and placed the flowers in a vase filled with adequate water then made your way to your bedroom to return to your sketching, and thinking of how to interact with Robbie the next time you see him.