A N I M U S
noun [an-uh-muhs]

Strong dislike or enmity; hostile attitude; animosity.

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You purposefully made the clanking of the utensils louder as you set them inside a drawer in the kitchen to drown out the silence. It was starting to irritate you. The ringing noise flooded the entire house for hours on end and you had no clue at where to start to stop it.

You glanced at James who was reading a scatter of papers placed on top of the dining table in front of him, with his glasses resting at the edge of his nose and a hand on his head. 

He was too indulged in his work to care about the atmosphere inside the apartment. You took a deep breath then sighed extra loudly to capture his attention but to your disappointment, it did not stir him.

You wiped your damp hands with a kitchen towel then headed for the table and stood opposite of him. You tapped the chair you were leaning on with your nails then pursed your lips. "Um... James," You mumbled and unsurprisingly he didn't move a muscle.

You curved around the table and stood beside him with a hand on your hip and an eyebrow raised with irritation. "James," You said sternly and tapped him on the shoulder quickly.

He sat up straight suddenly and looked at you, disoriented. "Sorry, yeah... what's up?" He shook his head and sucked in a sharp breath.

You stared at him sadly then crossed your arms and sulked. "Nothing... It's nothing," You stepped away from him and gave him a soft smile, "Go back to your reading."

He watched you walk into the corridor and towards your bedroom at the end. He despised how cryptic you could be sometimes... most of the times. It made his life just that slightly more complicated and he never really asked for it.

But right now he knew exactly what you were on about.

James took his glasses off and placed them on the dining table. He got up and stomped towards the corridor with a serious expression. He glanced to the master bedroom with its door closed, where you were, then turned his attention to the bedroom door in front of him.

KNOCK! KNOCK!

James held the doorknob and turned it slowly, opening the door without waiting for a response from his daughter, knowing well enough that it would likely not arrive.

"So... tucked away in our room till the change in our life occurs, are we?" James stepped inside and crossed his arms with his eyebrows raised.

Your daughter glared at him then went back to reading the magazine opened in front of her as she sat on her bed. James waited for a moment then approached her slowly.

"What, dad..." She mumbled and James rubbed his forehead with his forefinger.

"Look [y/d/n], you can't-"

"Dad I'm not in the mood for another 'talk', please," She pointed out and frowned, "I just... want to be alone."

He stood there for a couple of minutes as [y/d/n] read the magazine quietly, ignoring her father's presence. James sighed then walked to the door-

"You know dad, m-maybe..." She placed the magazine beside her and sat up straight," Maybe you could have a 'talk' with mom and figure out your differences so you don't have to leave me stranded without a functional family environment!"

James snapped back, rushing up to his daughter with anger fueling his muscles. "Do you think I want to be divorced from your mother? Do you think I want this for my life? It will mess up everything... EVERYTHING [y/d/n] and I want nothing of it!" James yelled, but kept a hushed tone to not draw your unwanted attention to the outburst.

[y/d/n] gulped and leaned back a bit, in slight fear. "Dad I-"

"Your mother is brilliant, gosh I love her," He ran a hand through his hair, "But her constant nagging and stubbornness and lack of sympathy, sometimes, just... ARGH it's a vicious cycle of pessimism and hatred and disgust and I can't have that in my life!"

He started pacing around the bedroom with anxiety. "I was at my peak with my job and then the happiest thing in my entire life happened: You were born," He continued, "I gave up focusing on my career so I could spend every moment with you, knowing that I'll get my rise back. But NO. I NEVER DID!"

Your daughter sulked, looking to the ground.

"I've done so much for my family... Can't I do something for myself?" He watched his daughter with tears almost glistening his eyes as his voice started to break, "I've given your mom a chance, she's given me a chance too. I'll never stop loving her. I love her more than how much I did when we met and I know she feels the same too."

James walked to the door and stepped between the open crack. He turned back and frowned, "That's why I have to let your mom go... For my sake... for your mom's... and most of all, for yours. I don't want you to see us become other people."

He exited the bedroom without consoling his daughter who burst into tears immediately at the sight of her father leaving her presence. She rolled into a ball under her covers, trying to calm her grieving.

From your bedroom, you had heard every word clearly. You yearned to intervene and even out the outburst, but you didn't want to face James. You didn't want to watch him go into another wave of sulking and melancholy, making it more difficult for you to let him go.

You wished that you could pick some other outcome but you've tried everything... You guess that you just have to continue without him by your side.